Bai Fumei in the 70’s

Grandma Li has experienced so many things, her husband and son died prematurely in middle age, her granddaughter had an accident in her old age, and her grandson went to prison. She had already opened her eyes when she lived with her granddaughter. Looking very open, she used to hope that the He family would open up the leaves and embrace the great-grandchildren.

After so many years, she no longer fantasizes about it.

She wiped a tear and said to her grandson, "Enough."

"Brother Bo, don't be too hard, pay attention to your body. These days are already very good, with food and clothing, and family reunion."

What else is she not content with?

"Grandma's biggest wish now is for Brother Ge to eat more and take a good rest. You are too thin." She said, palming her grandson's thin face.

Dressed in a neat tunic, a talented person, but just too thin. Thin enough to make the cheekbones clearly visible, which made the elderly feel distressed.

The eldest sister said with a smile, gesturing: "Brother Bo, today, have an extra bowl of rice."

He Songbai was accustomed to the elder sister's soft and gentle voice. Looking at her gesturing again, he was no longer able to adapt. After he sold his ancestors in the countryside, he took his eldest sister to the hospital to see. Because of the missed opportunity for treatment, her ears may be cured very low.

In the past two years, He Songbai has not been a big sister in the northern part of the South China Sea. She went to a hospital in a big city. After two years of treatment, she could only recover a little of hearing.

In addition, there are medical machines in the key support projects of his own electronic factory. The technology of hearing aids in this year is far less developed than that of future generations. In order to make the best hearing aids for the elder sister, He Songbai specially organized a research and development team.

He stared at the elder sister, the calm smile on her face, there was a warm affinity, let people look at heart.

He rubbed the head of the elder sister and said with a smile: "Sister, I will send you to study at the university."

Although the trajectory of their lives in this life has been different from the previous life, no matter the pain and ups and downs, it is already the thing of yesterday.

The world is still so big and so exciting, people have to work hard to look forward. Try to make yourself happy and happy. How can a bad person qualify for their happiness?

He Songye waved his hands in horror, "Brother, I can't."

He Songbai raised his lips and showed his teeth, "I said yes, I can."

...

Military compound.

Zhao Lanxiang took care of herself in the hospital for half a month before returning home. Originally, she was supposed to sit well in Xiaoyue after giving birth. This time her body was worse. She was happy to have Xiaoyue sitting in the hospital and was not willing to go back to the cold and cold s home.

The bright red picture will always be in her mind, with a strong **** smell. She and the children's blood shed all over the place, struggling desperately on the ground.

She didn't dare to think back, but when she dreamed back at midnight, she would dream of a cute baby. He was so small, his body was so soft, he could not even speak, and he laughed like a pure angel.

For seven full months, he accompanied her for seven months, obediently in her belly, not tumultuous or coquettish. Except for the first two months, he hardly tossed his mother during pregnancy. Perhaps he knew that he was not a child born in anticipation. He was so good that Zhao Lanxiang felt guilty and distressed. She also loves talking to him the most.

From three months on, Zhao Lanxiang began to weave clothes for him and knit small shoes with wool. He has small hats woven from multicolored wool, soft socks, thin summer shirts, warm autumn clothes, and thick winter clothes. Although Zhao Lanxiang does not go to work, he can make money. In his free time, he gives custom-made clothes, designs clothes drawings and sells them to factories in emerging areas.

Most of the money she saved was spent on children. Infant formula, bathtubs, toys, beds are fragmented and miscellaneous, almost filling their homes.

There are his shadows everywhere, why he... suddenly disappeared.

Zhao Lanxiang didn't want to go back to that home at all. She would definitely be unbearable when she went back to see those things. She buried him in the cold mud by hand, and he would never come back.

But she still has to bear the grief of losing him.

In the days of recuperation, Feng Lian quit her school job to take care of her daughter. She looked very distressed at her daughter's thinning face. She never dared to show a little sadness in front of Zhao Lanxiang, and she cried a few times in private. The doctor had talked to her once, and the implication was that her daughter might have lost her fertility.

Feng Lian worked hard to keep this secret, and dared not reveal it.

Day by day, Zhao Lanxiang finally finished her little month, she had to go home.

Jiang Jianjun came to pick her up on the day he returned home. He shaved his hair clean and short, and was full of energy. Although he lost a lot of weight during this period, he was still handsome and attractive.

Jiang Jianjun silently packed Zhao Lanxiang's clothes and folded them one by one, as if using the patience he had never had before. He drove to the military compound. The speed on the road was so drowsy that there was almost no bumps.

Zhao Lanxiang returned to their home and pushed the door open. The room was still clean and spotless, with clear windows.

It's just that the baby toys, small wooden beds, and strollers that were everywhere were gone, and they completely looked like a year ago. It seemed as if time had erased this trace, so that she could deceive herself with peace of mind.

Jiang Jianjun put on an apron. "Wait a minute, I'll make lunch for you."

He seldom has the opportunity to cook, because training is too busy, coupled with a good family background, good standing, he does not have many opportunities to do it himself. He slowly and awkwardly made a tomato scrambled egg, steamed fish, and yam stewed chicken soup with red dates. The old chicken soup still needs to be stewed for a while. He stares at the beating flame on the stove, breathes, and takes off his apron.

He looked for Zhao Lanxiang and saw her standing in front of the cabinet in the room.

He asked, "What's wrong?"

"Go wash your hands, the meal will soon be ready--"

He hadn't finished his words yet, and a triangle crashed into his sight.

It was during the Spring Festival last year. In order to pray for the children, Zhao Lanxiang took him to the temple to get a stick of incense.

He collected all the things about the children one by one, but forgot the little one, which was caught in the cabinet. In fact, the house was already covered with traces of children, and where can it be removed overnight?

The transparent tears filled the woman's eyes, and the moment she heard his voice, her tears flowed down.

Jiang Jianjun's heart burst into pain. He took the Ping An Symbol and pressed his lips together. It took a long time to say, "He will live well in another world."

"Let's... eat."

Zhao Lanxiang wiped a tear and snatched the Ping An Fu into his arms.

She said, "Stop eating, eat it yourself."

"I want to go home."

"Go home..." Jiang Jianjun repeated murmured, dull heartache, "Isn't this your home?"

Zhao Lanxiang took nothing, turned around and walked towards the door.

Jiang Jianjun stepped forward in two and two steps, holding her, "Where are you going?"

Zhao Lanxiang couldn't get rid of his clenched hands, and bit his head hard with his head down.

"You can't go." He held her waist by the other.

"This is your home, where are you going?"

Zhao Lanxiang stared at Jiang Jianjun's angry eyes and smiled coolly.

This is the man she has loved since she was seventeen years old. He is tall and mighty. He can wear a green military uniform meticulously and wear masculinity.

He has the most beautiful eyes, the silence is like the deep sea. Laughing like a star falling into the deep sea, deep and moving.

He can turn the seventeen-year-old Zhao Lanxiang into a mess, almost filling her world. But thirty-five-year-old Zhao Lanxiang was tired. She let go of her bitten hand and mixed it with blood.

"Don't come near me, I feel dirty."

Jiang Jianjun raised his eyebrows, his face pale with a sudden.

"I haven't done anything that sorry you."

"Me and Fang Jing--"

"Stop, I don't want to hear your bad things."

She thought, three feet of freezing is not a cold day. She understood some things, but he still lived in his own world, painlessly. This is not fair...

Zhao Lanxiang looked at his stubborn and paranoid eyes and broke free, "Well, I won't go."

Jiang Jianjun happily brought her to the dining table, put the local chicken soup in the morning in front of Zhao Lanxiang, and pushed towards her.

"You drink and see, it doesn't suit your taste. I simmered in the stove before I went to the hospital."

Zhao Lanxiang didn't speak, but silently skimmed off the scum oil floating on the soup a little bit. After a long time, she barely took a few sips.

She swallowed two soups of chicken and said, "This is the first time you have stewed soup for me."

"When I was pregnant with Jiejie, I was short of nutrition and cramped my feet. I mentioned it to you a few times. You never thought about stewing soup for me. Afterwards, my mother came to the compound every three weeks to send me soup To make up the body, she complained that you didn't care about me. But I never dared to tell you."

"Because complaining is never useful to you."

Jiang Jianjun's lips smiled slightly.

Zhao Lanxiang said lightly: "Fortunately, these are over."

Jiang Jianjun suppressed the emotions in his heart and sandwiched her with fish, "eat more fish, you like to eat."

Zhao Lanxiang used chopsticks to get rid of the uncleaned scales on the fish, and said with a faint face: "It's fishy, ​​don't eat it."

Jiang Jianjun frowned and tasted several pieces of fish, peeled the fish skin, and left her with the fishy flesh. "You eat these and you are guaranteed not to be fishy."

Zhao Lanxiang turned over the scrambled eggs again and pulled out the eggshell from inside. She said lightly: "You don't know, I don't like to eat eggs. I have been married for 16 years..."

"Under the same roof, you have never understood my taste, but the first day I came here, I knew that you would not eat leeks, corianders, carrots, pumpkin, fungus mushrooms..."

Jiang Jianjun's lips flapped for a moment, "Sorry."

"It doesn't matter, anyway, it's not an important person or an important thing. If you can't remember, you can't."

Jiang Jianjun's breath was slightly sluggish.

In the evening, Jiang Jianjun held a bunch of new silk quilts and turned on the air conditioner.

Zhao Lanxiang went to bed and moved the pillow to his head.

Jiang Jianjun silently moved the pillow to her position, and said softly, "Sleep."

When he woke up in the middle of the night, he found that she had slept to the other end, curled up and sleeping in the corner, far away from him.

When he adjusted her sleeping posture, his thumb touched her pillow, it was a wet and cold.

He thought it was a newly bought air conditioner leaking, and after turning on the light, it was her tears. While sleeping, she shed tears.

She frowned even in her dream, and let Jiang Jianjun watch for a long time.

...

Jiang Jianjun submitted an application, requesting a job change and a stable but ineffective job because it allowed him to stay in the army all year long.

After Jiang's parents knew his decision, they thought he was crazy.

However, the leader quickly approved his application and transferred his position.

He has more time to stay at home, from nine to five, and occasionally to work overtime. He took on the housework, cooked three meals a day, and cleaned the house by sweeping the floor.

He did not do well before, but now he is trying hard to be a qualified husband. Exhausted the unique patience of this life.

However, Zhao Lanxiang's meals are getting less and less, people are getting thinner and thinner, and at the end of the year he was almost 80 pounds thinner.

Jiang Jianjun had seen her vomiting in the toilet numerous times, it was a kind of vomiting that was against food.

It wasn’t his familiar morning sickness, because during these six months, they had never done anything about husband and wife.

He looked at it for a long time and said, "I will let my mother cook for you."

Zhao Lanxiang wiped her mouth and said lightly, "No."

"It's just vomiting, and no one can die."

"Do you know how much the pregnant woman vomits? When I was pregnant with Jiejie, I vomited when I smelled meat. I vomited what I ate. I was panic or hungry.

These words can't help but remind Jiang Jianjun's memories. She was very anxious in her early pregnancy and was cautious, lest he didn't like the child.

She is more diligent in housework, making him a lot of delicious meals, pleasing him inside and out.

Nothing weak appeared.

At that time, he felt the warmth of the family, and the frequency of returning home became higher.

Zhao Lanxiang said quietly: "You don't know, I'll tell you. These are not secrets, but you haven't put people in your heart and you are not interested in knowing. I once envied others."

"Other women are pregnant and take good care of their husbands. In addition to taking care of myself, I also have to serve you well. I feel uneasy because you don’t like this child. I thought a heart was cold and hard, and it should be ten years It's warm. But after 16 years, it's still not warming up."

"Now I understand it. The twisted melon is not sweet. Because I blinded the non-human, I recognized it. I swallowed all the bitter water, and it was hard for me to carry it. But--

She choked.

"My boy, he's dead..."

She calmly read "dead", and after a moment of discomfort, she vomited violently and spit out everything in her stomach.

After vomiting, she wept bitterly.

His heart was as heavy as lead, and his chest was very uncomfortable.

"Don't talk about it...I can't take care of you, shall I ask my mother to take care of you?"

Jiang Jianjun looked away, quickly wiped the water from his eyes with his hands, and looked up at the ceiling.

...

In the fall of 1993, He Songbai became busy after gaining a reputation in the Shenzhen financial market. But no matter how busy, at the end of each month, he will still take a few days to be completely undisturbed and return to the city of g.

No matter where, no matter what.

He inquired that Zhao Lanxiang returned to the compound and lived with Jiang Jianjun after he was discharged from the hospital. He once looked at her in the army compound.

Looking at the scenery from the window upstairs, she can see the gods, the sunrise and the sunset. Without leaving her home, she imprisoned herself in a small world.

More and more haggard and thin, weak and can not help but wind.

He spent money to buy candy toys and coaxed a group of children as he pleased. These children were all he grew up looking at, and his temperament was clear.

The lively children shouted downstairs to let Zhao Lanxiang come down to play, day after day, enthusiastic and persistent.

At first, Zhao Lanxiang was unmoved and silently watched them play downstairs for a month.

Looking at them, she was like seeing Jie Jie and the naughty boy who grew up. There was a lot of joy, with an endless passion.

One day the children were gone, and the noise of the play disappeared, and Zhao Lanxiang hurried downstairs to find them.

The little fat man groaned her calf, and the little girl begged her carefully for a player's house wine and played her mother.

Zhao Lanxiang could not refuse these eager eyes and played with them all day.

"Auntie, why are you so thin?"

"Yeah, as thin as my sick grandpa."

Zhao Lanxiang touched the child's face and said, "Because my aunt does not eat or picky eaters, she is thin and ugly. You cannot learn from me."

"Eat more to grow meat."

The man who stayed in the corner heard a word, and crossed his eyes for a moment.

A few days later, the little girl pulled out a handkerchief from her pocket, "Auntie, you eat."

Black plum. It looks ugly, but the taste is very good, the mouth is sweet and mellow, and it quenches thirst.

At this time, Zhao Lanxiang did not know that it was perilla.

Zhao Lanxiang was forced by the little girl's enthusiasm and ate a few. The little girl said, "Okay, the magic is blinking and blinking, go back and eat more meals!"

Zhao Lanxiang touched her head.

After the night broke up, the fat man ran to the corner to ask his uncle.

"Can we take us to football tomorrow?"

"We have been playing with our aunt for a long time, and it's great, isn't it?"

He Songbai took out the imported chocolates, and each of them divided two pieces. He smiled slightly on his clear face, warm and calm, and it was refreshing.

"Okay, play with you right away."

"Remember that this is a secret between adults, don't tell anyone about it."

Several children ate candy and said in unison: "I know!"

An adult and a few children formed an indestructible alliance.

...

Zhao Lanxiang gradually became willing to move around, her appetite slightly improved.

She began to like to eat plums, like the small wild flowers the children picked for her from the grass, and more like the lively and lovely children. The meat on her face was gradually raised.

Jiang Jianjun was happy with prejudice and secretly breathed a sigh of relief.

He bought some gifts for the parents of these children and thanked them.

The little girl blinked and asked her parents: "Why does Uncle Jiang give you gifts?"

The child's mother said, "Because I agree with you to play with your aunt."

The little girl said earnestly: "We can't ask for it, obviously the aunt is playing with us."

"He's so stupid, why didn't he play with his aunt himself, I know he must be too stupid."

Jiang Jianjun, who had left, didn't know if he heard the words, and the mother covered her little girl's mouth in horror.