Casual Heroing

You know, sometimes I think about those Japanese cartoons. Yeah, call it Anime or whatever, I don’t care. I’m not a huge fan, but I did watch a few. And one of the things that always struck me is how overbearing some female characters could be and how they would make the protagonist all flustered. I mean, I could appreciate some fellow Japanese masochism, but that’s beside the point.

The thing is, now, I’m living something similar. I find myself in a cartoon-like situation. But it’s not on the ‘overbearing-romance’ category as much as the ‘what-the-hell-just-happened’ category.

And here’s what happened.

…

I look at Camilla with an eyebrow raised and a wide grin, feeling my energy back where it should be. I just realized how down I’ve been throughout the entire day.

I swiftly crack my neck before hunching slowly towards her. I’m half-standing, with my hands on the table. My gaze is so intense that it could probably moisturize a patch of dry skin or spring an oasis in the desert.

Camilla just asked who my next target would be, and that’s my switch.

“Well, beautiful lady, what if the next item on my list is you?” my voice is almost husky, arrogant, ambitious, and so deep it’s probably making the glass windows of this place vibrate.

Beware, girls, your bras might unclasp by themselves right now.

I even add a soft version of my signature wink while I stare intensely at Camilla.

I’m not interested in making a move on her. However, I’ll take some blushing. This has already worked really well in the past, and I fully expect it to work again. She has been making fun of me, so it’s only natural that I want some payback.

I feel my body slowly regenerating the usual electricity that powers it through my shenanigans. It’s as if my engine was finally awakening after the whole Lucinda fiasco, coming to life with renewed force.

We are back in business, baby!

My senses are heightened, my facial expressions as bold as ever, my smile overshines diamonds! I’m exhilarated! I don’t even know why!

Camilla can’t possibly resist this, can she? She will probably fall for me or something; maybe I should even dial my act down since she’s so nice. I really don’t want to break her heart. She doesn’t deserve that. I mean, she does deserve some teasing on my part, but this teasing could really have her lose her head.

I soften my expression a bit, getting ready to back down.

Camilla, who’s now wearing a sweet smile on her face, raises a hand.

And she puts a finger in my nostril in one swift move.

“What the f—”

She takes the finger back, and she pops it in her mouth.

Horror!

Mouth agape!

Vomit!

What!

What just happened!

I froze and my eyes are so wide I think my eyelids are going to disappear back into my skull.

“Yummy,” she smiles and then resumes eating her steak.

What?!

WHAT?!

“Camilla, what the?!”

She looks at me with innocent eyes. In a fraction of a second, however, her expression turns evil, and she raises her finger again.

I’ve never been an athletic person in my entire life, but if sitting back on your chair ever became an Olympic discipline, I would be the current Gold Medal holder.

“Good,” she chimes.

“Why did you do that?! And did you eat it?!” my tone is strained, almost teary.

“Oh, come on. It’s just a little game. You tried a move, I did a move myself,” Camilla said as if popping your finger inside the booger-holder of another person was the most natural thing ever.

“YOU PUT A FINGER IN MY NOSE AND THEN IN YOUR MOUTH! AND YOU SAID ‘YUMMY’! HOW IS THAT A MOVE!”

I swear to God I’m going to have a seizure.

“Yeah, and you tried to make a move, right? It’s just a little joke, don’t sweat it so much. I thought you were smoother with the ladies.”

“You put your finger in my nose and then in your mouth! How’s that normal?!”

“Who said anything about normal? It was surely fun, though.”

Here she is, Camilla, in her pink dress and with her cute little face, chomping on a massive steak twice the size of her face, right after sharing a second-hand wet kiss with the inside of my nose.

“I mean, if you want some, I can share,” she puts a finger in her nose, eliciting a terror in me that only a few times I’ve ever felt. I’m not even sure a tax module could make my stomach lurch like this.

She offers me the boogered finger and that’s when an angel, disguised as a waiter, comes to our table.

“Excuse me, miss Camilla. You both have to leave. The guests complained about this…” the waiter points at her boogery-finger and adds, looking at me, “you have also caused a commotion with all the screaming. I’ll pack your food.”

Camilla nodded and shrugged.

“This is not the first time you get thrown out, is it?” I ask with an actual laugh.

“It’s definitely not going to be the last,” she winks at me and gets up.

We have some good laughs while we get back to my apartment and we finish eating the steaks and the weird vegetables served with it.

I could have asked a bunch of questions; on this world, on the business, maybe even on magic. But I just go with the flow and have a good laugh.

Camilla dug out my soul from the rubbles, the ruins born when Lucinda behaved like an ass. And to be honest, I’m not even attracted to her; and I don’t think she’s attracted to me. We are just having fun; two people, Elf and Human, little sister and dimensional traveler.

That’s all I need at this moment.

A friend.

My first real friend here.

“You are really out of your mind, Camilla,” I tell her with a smile while she gets her coat and gets ready to go back to her place. The booger thing is still on my mind.

“Just the craziest,” she says with a wink before leaving my apartment.