Defeated By Love

Translated by Fairy_Dust

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At this moment, Shu Nian felt that chatting with him was almost like chatting with her psychologist, Wang Yue. Just by talking to him, he managed to give her guidance and some encouragements which made her gradually calm down.

But it was a little different.

Shu Nian had read about this kind of situation once that often happens when seeing a psychologist on the internet. 

It was on how there weren’t any reservations when speaking to a psychologist. You would feel like only they could understand you so when you were with them, you would feel relaxed and a special kind of feeling would brew.  

It wasn’t the normal feelings between a doctor and a patient but more of the feelings between a man and a woman which made the heart beat faster.

Shu Nian never felt like this with Wang Yue but at this moment, she felt like she had found it with Xie Ruhe. It was an emotion that made her head blank, not knowing how to react. 

It was an emotion she was experiencing for the first time after living so many years. 

Shu Nian hesitated to ask: “Look for you…?” 

Xie Ruhe raised his hand but paused for two seconds before continuing to lift it up. He stroked her head soothingly and firmly repeated. “En, you can come find me.” 

Once upon a time, you lit up my world. 

Now that you’ve fallen into an abyss, even if I can’t protect myself, I’m willing to save you from it regardless of my own safety.

I would also like to give you the light you once gave me.

Xie Ruhe didn’t let Shu Nian send him off and asked Fang Wencheng to go up to help him down. He stood at the top of the stairs and said goodbye to her. “Let’s set off fireworks together another time.”

Shu Nian nodded lightly: “Okay, goodbye.” 

She looked at their backs and lowered her eyes. Then, she picked up the bucket at the door. 

Shu Nian squatted against the door frame and held her legs in both hands, appearing a little distracted. It was unknown what she was thinking about but after a while, she stood up and bounced back to her room barefooted. 

Very quickly though, she remembered that it was late and made her movements a lot softer. 

She hugged her clothes in her arms and went into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Her head seemed to be filled with pink bubbles and there was no more sense of fear. 

She felt like her whole body was filled to the brim with something, making her heart very full. 

Shu Nian covered her face and hot water slid down from the top of her head, washing away all the negative emotions and thoughts she had in an instant.

But suddenly, she remembered Xie Ruhe’s appearance.

He had short hair, black and bright peach blossom eyes, dense and long eyelashes like crow feathers, a straight nose bridge and petal-like lips. When he spoke seriously, he would close his eyes and radiate energy and the corners of his lips would be tilted up slightly. 

He was slim, tall and his temperament was rather outstanding.

He was a little handsome too. 

Was he handsome? 

Shu Nian struggled to get dressed. She rubbed her head with a towel as she returned to the bedroom but because she just took a shower, droplets of water were still falling down the ends of her hair. Her face was as white as an egg and her cheeks were lightly blushing.

She sniffed and whispered: “Handsome.” 

Her soft voice melted in the quiet room and vaporised into the air. 

Shu Nian returned to her senses in an instant, realising what she had just said and threw the towel in her hands aside. Then, she raised her head and slapped her forehead. 

Was she having thoughts about Xie Ruhe…?

“Don’t have any fantasies.” Shu Nian’s voice was muffled and then she repeated it again like she was trying to emphasise her point. “Don’t have any fantasies.”

Shu Nian didn’t want to think about it anymore and found something to do. She picked up the script on the bedside table and as she marked her lines with a highlighter, she read it out loud: “How can a man be this attractive…?” 

“…” Shu Nian pursed her lips and turned over the page to continue to highlight. “Qian Qian, I like a friend of mine. What should I do?” 

Shu Nian: “…”

She put on the pen cap and fell backwards. She buried her face in the pillow and kicked her feet in the air. After a while, Shu Nian stopped and felt a little confused.

Shu Nian picked up her phone and searched on the internet for “What to do if you like your friend”, and saw a bunch of negative answers. She immediately closed the tab and recalled the scene just then. 

She paused and changed the word “friend” to “psychologist”. 

Most of the answers were because of their empathy and your need for support for when you are the most vulnerable could cause you to rely on your own psychologist. Any of those factors could make people misinterpret such emotions as love. 

Shu Nian digested those words. 

She exhaled and didn’t continue to read them, clicking on WeChat and it was only then did she find out that Xie Ruhe had sent her several WeChat messages—— 

【 I’m going to look for you now. 】 

【 Are you okay? 】 

【 I’m in front of your house. 】 

Shu Nian licked her lips but didn’t know how to reply.

She also noticed that there was a red dot on the contact’s page. Shu Nian subconsciously clicked on it and found that it was a friend request. She looked at the profile and the person in the profile picture was Xu Zeyuan. There was also a message:【 Shu Nian, it’s Xu Zeyuan. I want to talk to you. 】 

Her gaze paused for a second on there before she left the page. Then, she gave Xie Ruhe a reply:【 Be careful on the way home. 】 

It had been more than a month since she last saw Xu Zeyuan.

Shu Nian almost forgot about his existence. She thought that since he was famous now, he would be busy and not contact an irrelevant person like her. 

But he went and found her again

Ohhh, feelings are developing for Shu Nian? 

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Thanks for reading!