Evil Awe-Inspiring

I started to complain, fleeing me all the way from Nanjing to Guangzhou, and then fleeing from Guangzhou again. I sneaked across the sea, died a lifetime, met Xiaofeng, and was treated like a slave on a stowaway. Then I drifted at sea, and hunger. The weather, and the struggle with the sea, told little by little to Jojo.

I've been choking for too long!

It's been too long!

At the beginning, I only spoke in a low, slow, and even calm tone, but later, my speaking speed began to increase, my face became gloomy, and then the resentment, helplessness, and struggle in my heart ... all this Emotions erupted.

My emotions were also infected by my own reports ... I was suddenly excited, suddenly angry, and suddenly hurt ... When I said that I was killing ... my tone became apparently indifferent ... I subconsciously took it out I smoked cigarettes, but I realized that smoking is not allowed on the streets of Vancouver. I put away the cigarettes again.

Instinctively, I feel a little uncomfortable! !!

"Jojo ... I don't think I am myself anymore." I smiled slightly, my face was a little sad, but I was struggling: "For my own sake, I can treat two people who have nothing to do with me. People kill with a knife ... killing! This is killing! Do you understand? I really started! And my heart was calm at the time! When the man was struggling under my knife and lying on the ground with a twisted convulsion, I There wasn't even a psychological fluctuation in my heart ... but after I went back, I vomited for a long time ... "

In the face of Qiao Qiao, facing my best friend, I spoke my own heart.

"I don't think I am myself."

Qiao Qiao didn't speak, she just looked at me silently, and she didn't have any expression on her face. When I finished this, she was silent for a while. Suddenly he said to me, "Undress."

"Yep?"

"Take off your clothes and let me see your scars."

I took a look at Qiao Qiao, saw Dingding in her eyes, and there was no doubt about it. I hesitated, and started to unbutton my shirt.

My chest, my shoulders. On the arm, those scars that have been healing for a long time are mostly stitched by doctors, one by one, some shocking! Qiao Qiao's eyes narrowed and she stared at me for a full minute, she seemed a little lost, slowly stretched out her hand, and stroked a scar on my shoulder ...

This is a scar on my swollen bone on my shoulder. This knife almost wiped me out! The doctor said. If the knife is cut deeper and to the left a little bit, my arm will be useless.

From this point of view, my vitality is really good.

The corners of Jojo's eyes seemed to be beating, her fingers stroked all the way from the scar on my shoulder, then turned behind me.

There are bullet holes in my back. Those were shot by that shotgun when they were in Guangzhou. Fortunately, it was just a soil gun made of iron, and the iron sand was hit. Otherwise, I would have died early.

Qiao Qiao's eyes were swaying with water, she turned to her face, quietly wiped away her tears, and quickly smiled at me. She smiled calmly, and then asked me softly: "Little five, I ask you a question."

"what?"

"Why don't you keep in touch with us?"

I thought for a while, and smiled bitterly: "What's the use of contact? Am I still the same? I'm not Chen Yang anymore. Not that little five! I'm now a bastard, a real underworld member ... is murderer!"

Snapped! !!

No signs at all! A slap on my face without mercy! Qiao Qiao's raised hand had not yet come down, and he looked at me fiercely: "I **** want to pump you!"

I was speechless and looked at Miss Qiao.

"If ..." Qiao Qiao took a deep breath: "If I, or Azor, or wood ... if one day, we also encountered such a desperate situation ... we murdered and set fire to death, the end of the earth ... at that time. Will you continue to treat us as friends? "

"Yes! Of course."

Qiao Qiao looked at me: "That's all right! So if you dare say those words just now ... I'll still draw your mouth wide! Believe it or not!"

I rubbed my cheeks. Fortunately, Miss Qiao showed mercy. This time, there was no real effort, just some hot feeling on the cheeks.

The two of us stood tired, and I opened my clothes. Occasionally the pedestrians on both sides could not help but cast a curious look. I thought for a moment and pulled Jojo into a small alley next to me.

Then I found a fire ladder next to a low-rise building. The fire ladder went straight to the top floor, but it was a bit rusty, and two of them were locked. I climbed past the light one, and then pulled Jojo up.

This is a three-story building, and the two of us easily reached the rooftop of the building. It's quiet here, there's silence everywhere, the environment is a bit dark, and there is a lot of dust on the ground.

I laid my suit on the floor, and sat down side by side with Jojo.

I have to say that Vancouver is a seaside city and the night sky is still beautiful. The sky is not grey without the dust from the big cities in China.

We leaned back to back, looking at the sky, all silent for a while, Qiao Qiao said, "But why don't you even contact Yan Di?"

I shivered a bit.

Yan Di ... Yan Di ...

This is almost the softest part of my heart.

"Do you know? When the news that you were dead came back, we all kept Yan Di carefully and didn't dare to tell her a little bit. But this situation without news is even more tortured! That girl started crying every day, and then stopped crying, but ... since you left, she hasn't laughed once again ... not once. "

"She ... how is she?"

I heard my voice shaking ... my heart was shaking.

Qiao Qiao didn't answer me directly, but sighed first. There seemed to be a lot of meaning in her sigh.

"Not only Yan Di, but also your female boss. Fang Nan." Qiao Qiao slowly said: "Her background is not simple ... Basically, we can get the information we have. Presumably she also got it. The news about your death went and lay in the hospital for a whole day .... Do you know? I heard that she seemed to faint and lay in the hospital for a whole day, and then ... Di took it back, and now Yan Di is with us, Yan Kaidi is now living and beating in my house. Live with me. I don't want to describe her appearance now ... just ... you have seen Does the flower wither? She's like that now! If it's not waiting for your news ... I'm afraid she can't support it already. "

There was a fierce choke in my heart.

"Why don't you contact them? At least make a phone call and report the safety!"

I am silent.

This is the top of the building, no one around. I could finally take out the cigarette and light myself with a slightly trembling hand. Just after taking a sip, Jojo took the cigarette from my mouth and inserted it into my mouth.

I smiled bitterly and reignited one.

My mouth is full of bitter taste ... I know it's not tobacco.

Yeah, why don't I and Yan Di. Don't contact Fang Nan? Why don't I even send a phone call and a message of safety?

why?

because……

Because I'm an asshole!

Yes, because I'm an asshole! Asshole! !!

These days ... or these days, this problem has always been a taboo in my heart! I even forced myself time and time again, not allowing myself to think in this area ... because every time I think. I feel like I'm really a bastard!

I almost finished smoking a cigarette, and the cigarette **** was bright and bright under my breath, like Mars.

Finally, the cigarette at his fingertips came to an end.

"What can I do?" I laughed bitterly, feeling that the muscles on my face were stiff.

I turned my head and looked at Qiao Qiao's eyes a few feet closer: "Qiao Qiao, my situation is special now ..."

then. I started talking to myself:

"The pressure on me now is too much ... I can't go back. Once I go back, there are only two ways. First, my identity is not revealed, but Huan brother will kill me. Second, my identity is exposed, those people Knowing I'm not dead, they will kill me too ... I can't go back! At least not now!

Yes, I hate it! Unwilling! Have resentment! I made up my mind and I will go back one day! I want to get everything back with my own hands! This is my determination long ago!

But ... how long will it take?

I am here now, without foundation. No background! I can only fight by my own life! Go for it! How many years will I have to wait before I can make a difference! Can we get into a certain position and return to China with our heads up?

Three years? Five years? Eight years? ten years?

neither knows! And, who can guarantee that in the days of blood licking on such a knife edge, I can live safely and live till the day when I succeed?

Maybe one morning, I will be shot dead on the street!

I have been on this road ... this is a no return! There is no way back!

So, I should let Yan Di ... well, and Fang Nan!

What should I let them do?

I can say to them shamelessly: wait for me! wait me back! After a maximum of ten or eight years, I will definitely come back-if I will be alive by then, and be in the limelight!

is it possible?

How long is a woman's youth and precious life? How many years? ? and I! I do n’t know what tomorrow is today!

Can I brazenly say such words to two women who love me? Make such a request? ? ? ? "

Qiao Qiao was sighing, she looked at me, her eyes shining brightly: "So ... you ..."

"No!" I knew what she wanted to say ", but I immediately denied:" But I'm not so noble ... in fact, I even feel sad for my despicableness, my weakness ... I even despise me Myself! "

Yes ... if I am a noble person, I am a selfless person. Then I should call and tell them ... just like many movies and TV, many stories, tell them not to wait for me, find a good family to marry them! Don't waste your youth for me as a desperate murderer, find yourself a new happiness ... If I am really noble and really selfless, I will tell them in a private way and let them forget me!

but……

I can not do it!

I really can't do it!

I love Yandi ... even I find my partner Nan is not ruthless!

The more I am in desperation, the more I miss my family and them! Sometimes, that intense, that longing, even tortured me to death!

I am not a noble person!

If you want me to be like the actor in the movie story, let them forget me, and find new happiness ... something like that, that kind of thing. I can't tell!

Frankly, I can't bear it!

I can't face that situation! !!

Let me push my favorite woman into the arms of others myself? ? That kind of thing, I can't do it! !!

I'm in a dilemma! !!

On the one hand, I know that I am in such a state of death. The future is far in the future, and letting them wait like this is a waste of youth for me. This is very unfair to them!

But on the other hand ... I'm really selfish! I love my women so much that I really can't do the kind of thing that keeps them away from me ... I can't say that! I love every bit of love that comes from them and gives me warmth ...

I……

Really not a good person!

I am already a person walking on the edge ... Now, this love in my heart is almost in my heart. The few remaining little humanities, a little hope for life ...

Under such circumstances, how do you make me "noble"? How do you let me be proactive, "selfless". Let yourself take the initiative and let go of this little hope?

I am not a saint.

I'm just an ordinary person, I'm not so noble, not so selfless ... I'm even selfish ... But I really can't bear it!

This is a contradiction in my heart.

I really can't force myself to make a decision now!

In this case, I don't want to contact them ... but ... I dare not!

Yes, you asked me to contact them and what to say to them? How to say?

Tell them. Let them wait for me? But can I let two women who love me make sacrifices for me like this?

Tell them, let them give up on me, don't wait for me ... but in that case, it is equivalent to letting me give up the last hope of life in my heart ...

what should I do? What can I do?

I looked at Jojo with a bitter smile, and I felt that my eyes could not hide the pain anymore.

"You tell me, what should I do? Go left? Or right? I don't know what to say ~ www.wuxiaspot.com ~ So ... I can't make this call."

Qiao Qiao took a deep breath. She stared at me for a while, then slowly shook her head, and said, "I ... I don't know what to do ... It's hard, it's really hard."

Some people may say that I am selfish and that I am too mean.

But that's because they didn't meet me like this! Because they have not encountered despair!

People are in a state of despair, in a real state of despair ... In a situation where there is no relative or near nothing ... You can still be nothing but noble, noble, or very great ... tell you the most Treasure relatives, tell them not to wait for me, let me live on my own!

Really desperate people, even if they have a little hope-even if it is only a little bit of hope, they will instinctively write it down!

This is no longer a question of selfishness or selfishness ... but human nature, nature!

This question ... is difficult.

It's really tough……