Ferocious Dog of Old

His delicacy came from being spoilt. If nobody had spoiled him, he couldn’t be sensitive and delicate even if he wanted to. At Chi Ku’s old place, any sort of delicacy would be beaten out of you; if you really were delicate, you wouldn’t survive.

Tao Huainan grumbling to Chi Ku every day about what he could or couldn’t do came from being spoilt. Fortunately, Chi Ku wouldn’t put up with his little tantrums; if it were someone with a better temper, they would’ve been worn down by him.

He really was annoying, but sometimes, when those large unseeing eyes gazed at you, and that soft voice spoke coquettishly to you in a soft tone, it was rather lovable.

–

Two school terms ended. Tao Huainan happily went home with his brother—finally, finally, finally, the winter break was here.

Every morning, Tao Huainan would open his eyes and feel his way to his brother; when he found him, he would hug his waist and cling for a while, then turn to look for Chi Ku. Sometimes Chi Ku would hide from him deliberately; wherever he felt towards, Chi Ku would go the other way. If Tao Huainan heard him, he would call out to him and rush towards his footsteps; he was sure to catch him. After all, Chi Ku didn’t dare to dodge properly, or Tao Huainan might not be able to help colliding with something. Plus, Tao Huainan had external aid—Shi Yeye was old and couldn’t run about with Tao Huainan, but he could bite Tao Huainan’s trouser leg slowly and pull him in the right direction.

Regular children would cover their eyes to play a blind variant of hide-and-seek, but in this game they didn’t need to cover his eyes—the little blind boy was a natural, and they played every day. When Tao Huainan reached Chi Ku, he would hug him and giggle as he said “caught you”.

Chi Ku would push him away impatiently, without much force; Tao Huainan held on and didn’t let go, softly calling out, “Chi Ku.”

Other children were grumpy when they woke up in the morning; in their house, this morning irritability was exchanged for coquetry. Since Tao Huainan was no longer as sensitive after growing accustomed to Chi Ku, even Tao Xiaodong would joke with him on occasion. When Tao Huainan went to hug him after waking up, Tao Xiaodong would push him lightly with his arm. “Let go, you sticky thing,” he said with a laugh.

Tao Huainan would pout, then turn to look for Chi Ku.

–

Tao Xiaodong usually went to pick the children up every week, and would do his best not to go anywhere else at the end of the week; Tao Huainan would wait all week for him at school, and he was afraid the boy would be disappointed if he didn’t come to pick them up. Now that it was finally winter break, Tao Xiaodong had a whole backlog of things to do. He had no intention of bringing the two younger ones along—he would either leave them at home and have the babysitter come by, or have them stay at Tian Yi’s place.

In this regard, Tao Huainan never complained. He was very mature and didn’t want his brother to worry. But when Tao Xiaodong was done packing and ready to leave, he saw Tao Huainan sitting obediently on the sofa watching cartoons. He didn’t leave then; he couldn’t bear to.

Finally, he packed a number of other things and brought both the little ones along. They would be away for ten days; the golden retriever was once again in Tian Yi’s care.

–

Besides the three brothers, Huang-ge was also in the car. Huang-ge was gege’s friend; they ran their shop together.

Tao Huainan was very afraid of him initially, as his voice was fierce; later, when they became familiar, he was no longer afraid.

On the way, his brother and Huang-ge spoke in the front of the car, leaving him in the back with Chi Ku. Tao Huainan seldom went out; the last time he had gone anywhere was when he went back to their parents’ place with his brother. Tao Huainan was reminded of that time; he prattled on to Chi Ku, asking if they would be able to find ‘izecles’.

Chi Ku said yes.

Tao Huainan said, then find me one again.

Chi Ku said, when we’re back.

The two men in the front heard them speaking about izecles. Da Huang1 laughed and laughed. “What kind of accent is that?” he said. “It’s so crude.”

In the front passenger seat, Tao Xiaodong laughed along. “That’s how everyone in our village speaks.”

“Can’t you teach those kids better?” Da Huang turned to tell them, “Don’t learn from your brother.”

Tao Xiaodong was innocent of the charge. “I didn’t teach him that,” he said. “It was his xiao-ge.”

Chi Ku’s speech was crude, with a strong regional accent. It had grown much better after a year, but one could still tell. Being called crude didn’t embarrass Chi Ku. He carried on as he was.

–

Children grew sleepy during car rides. It wasn’t long before Tao Huainan fell silent. Da Huang turned to look, then whispered to Tao Xiaodong, “He’s sleepy.”

Tao Xiaodong knew he would be; he had even taken the little blanket out. Tao Huainan’s head leaned against the glass of the car window—with every bump of the car, his head would knock. Chi Ku heard it. He moved to the side, against the other car door, and pulled Tao Huainan’s arm. “Come here.”

Pulled over, Tao Huainan shifted. Chi Ku added, “Lie on my lap.”

He took his shoes off and lay down securely, pillowed on Chi Ku’s thighs. Soon, Tao Huainan fell into a deep sleep. Chi Ku was just a child himself—he couldn’t withstand the jolting and swaying of the car, and before long his lifted head drooped as he fell asleep too.

The two of them were sound asleep now. Da Huang turned to look at them again. One sat and the other lay down; Chi Ku’s hand was placed upon Tao Huainan’s head, the two looking uncommonly intimate.

“Hey,” Da Huang said to Tao Xiaodong. “How’s it going?” he asked.

Tao Xiaodong understood what he was asking. He nodded and said, “Pretty well.”

“Ever said anything about missing home?” Da Huang looked at the crude little child in the back seat. “Doesn’t seem like he has a great temper.”

“He doesn’t miss home.” Tao Xiaodong turned to look too. “What’s there to miss?”

“Did his dad come looking?” Da Huang asked.

Tao Xiaodong spoke in the lowest voice he could, “His dad doesn’t know.”

“His kid went missing and he didn’t even look?” Da Huang raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Gone, and that’s that?”

Tao Xiaodong paused, then said, “The grandmother told him that he beat his kid to death. He’s afraid the police will be after him, so he fled south.”

Da Huang had no idea how to respond to that. After a while, he said, “That’s good, saves a lot of trouble.”

Tao Xiaodong mhm-ed. “He’s a good kid.”

“So? Are you going to keep him for good?” Da Huang added jokingly, “Xiao Nan is enough of a handful for you, and now you’re picking up another.”

“He’s easy to take care of.” Tao Xiaodong adjusted the air conditioning to a slightly higher temperature. He laughed and said, “And Xiao Nan can’t leave him now, anyway.”

–

Being out was different from being at home. Tao Huainan had a phobia of strange places, and he really could not leave Chi Ku. His older brother couldn’t hold his hand all the time; he had work to do. The only one Tao Huainan could keep clinging on to was Chi Ku.

Chi Ku was used to holding his hand now. Even if he said it was annoying, he would never let go. Winter was too cold; holding hands like this, the two of them would freeze. Chi Ku put Tao Huainan’s hand in his pocket—his pocket was warm.

Tao Huainan would layer up most tightly when winter came. He had no shortage of hats and scarves and the like. Chi Ku didn’t like covering his neck or his face, so he never wore these. Sometimes, when they were out for a long time, his face would freeze like ice; Tao Huainan would then use his warm little palms to heat up Chi Ku’s face.

His two arms were level, his two hands placed on either side of Chi Ku’s face.

“Your face is so cold,” he said in a small voice.

The part of his face that suffered the most from the cold was the bridge of his nose. Chi Ku had a high nose bridge. He placed his nose in Tao Huainan’s hand, using Tao Huainan’s palm to warm it.

–

Tao Xiaodong kept two days free to spend with his brothers. He brought them out to have fun.

On the hundred-metre-long ice slide, Tao Huainan held Chi Ku’s hand and slid down together, both terrified and joyful, leaning against Chi Ku’s side like a chubby, happy little bird.

Tao Xiaodong left them to their devices once he brought them over. He sat at the rest area, watching through the glass as Chi Ku led Tao Huainan up the slide again and again.

Because he could not see, he rarely came into contact with the sort of things that children normally played with. Without Chi Ku by his side, he would never have dared to go up that thing. Tao Huainan would call out “Chi Ku” at least a hundred times a day.

Chi Ku’s ear hurt from all the shouting. “Lower your voice,” he admonished.

“But I’m afraid you won’t hear me,” Tao Huainan shouted with a laugh.

“I can hear you.” Chi Ku pulled him aside, out of the way of an incoming sled.

Tao Huainan was too happy; he turned and hugged, enveloping Chi Ku with his two arms. He hopped and said, “The slide’s so fun, I want to play some more.”

Chi Ku was annoyed at his clinginess. Frowning, he said, “Let go of me.”

Tao Huainan let go, but still held his hand. Again and again, he would call out, “Chi Ku.”

–

After a day of playing, the two children were tired. They calmed down as soon as they got into the car.

They were dragged back to the hotel and had dinner, after which they both showered and then slept. Tao Xiaodong finally had a moment of peace. Once he saw them both asleep, he left the room and went next door to discuss matters with Da Huang.

They were fine before bed, but when Tao Xiaodong returned two hours later, he could tell something was wrong just from the sound of their breathing. He switched the lights on and looked at the bed. Chi Ku’s eyes were tightly shut, both sides of his face flushed and swollen, his lips slightly open. Tao Xiaodong frowned and reached out to touch him. His forehead was burning hot.

Tao Huainan was completely oblivious, his leg across Chi Ku’s body as he slept, his little tummy rumbling.

–

After calling Da Huang over, Tao Xiaodong wrapped Chi Ku up in a blanket and picked him up, then called a taxi to get them to the hospital. His head and face tightly covered, Chi Ku woke up on the way and struggled; Tao Xiaodong told him not to move.

Chi Ku stopped moving. When they reached the car, he poked his head out and realised that Tao Xiaodong was carrying him. A little uncomfortable, he shifted, wanting to get down. Tao Xiaodong asked whether he felt unwell.

Chi Ku began to shake his head, but stopped. He nodded and said, “Yes.”

“Where?” asked Tao Xiaodong.

Children found it difficult to say where their discomfort came from; it was hard to describe. On top of this, Chi Ku was trained to be insensitive to pain from a young age, so he was even less equipped to explain.

Tao Xiaodong patted him through the blanket. “It’s fine. Ge’s bringing you to the hospital.” 

–

From the day he was born up till now, Chi Ku had never experienced anything like this, being carried to the hospital to see the doctor for a fever.

In the depths of winter, at the end of the lunar year, he was beaten and chased out of the house naked—back then, he never passed a day without a fever. Now in the city, his cheap life became precious; even a simple fever brought him to the hospital in the middle of the night. Chi Ku wanted to say that it wasn’t necessary; he opened his mouth, and then didn’t say it.

–

Half the night passed; the doctor finally told them that he had measles. He would be fine after a few days of care, but he wasn’t allowed out in the wind.

Tao Xiaodong wrapped him up tightly again and brought him back. When they came back, Tao Huainan was sitting up in bed, wiping his tears. Hearing the door, he immediately asked, “What’s wrong with Chi Ku?”

Tao Xiaodong and Chi Ku were both surprised that he was awake. Beside them, Da Huang said, “I couldn’t comfort him. When he heard that you went to see the doctor, he just exploded.”

Tao Xiaodong placed Chi Ku onto the bed. Tao Huainan quickly reached out to feel him. “What is it…”

“Nothing, just measles.” Tao Xiaodong coaxed his little brother, then turned to Da Huang. “You just had to tell him we went to see the doctor. How could he not explode? Of course he’s terrified.”

“I tried, but I couldn’t trick him. Let’s not talk about it, I ended up giving him tens of made-up excuses.” Da Huang yawned and said, “Measles are no big deal, lots of people got it when I was a kid.”

Chi Ku came out of his swaddling. Tao Huainan cried so hard he was sobbing; he felt his way over and leaned against Chi Ku, touching his face. “What are measles? You scared me to death…”1 Da (大) = prefix literally meaning “big”, but also meaning “older”. You have Xiao Nan (“little Nan”), and you also have Da Huang (“big Huang”).