Ferocious Dog of Old

For a very long period of time afterwards, Tao Huainan remained in that state of mind. Whenever he became interested or curious about something, as long as he imagined Chi Ku doing it, all his interest or curiosity would immediately disappear. He resolutely rejected those imaginings.

The result was: the boy had reached the age of sexual awakening and growing up, yet there was nothing suggestive or sensual in his brain at all. 

–

Within Tao Huainan’s muddle-headed innocence, Chi Ku grew taller and taller. His shoulders turned sturdier, more solid, and his voice became even more pleasant to the ears—and no one said he was ugly anymore. 

Every day of growing up was ordinary and not very exciting, but every single tomorrow was a new story.

–

It was going to be Tao Huainan’s birthday tomorrow. He was going to turn sixteen.

Chi Ku was also sixteen. He’d been born in the latter half of the year, so he was less than a year older than Tao Huainan. Just as Tao Huainan was about to touch the beginning of sixteen, Chi Ku was at its end. 

Third year of junior high had started for only one month when Chi Ku, in third year junior high’s first monthly exam, unsurprisingly grabbed the entire school’s top score once again.

Ah—it was Chi Cheng now.

–

Last year, his household registration thoroughly left the Chi family. Tao Xiaodong didn’t meet enough of the criteria to adopt him, so now Chi Cheng was under Huang-ge’s family household registration. Not finding it troublesome, Tao Xiaodong tossed and turned for a good few days before everything was settled; in the end, it was a Chi Cheng that was registered.

“‘Ku’ his granny1. Only grandsons find life bitter.” Tao Xiaodong found the name ‘Chi Ku’ irritating no matter how he looked at it; it was ugly.

The moment ‘Chi Cheng’ was added under the new household registration, Tao Xiaodong had slipped an arm around his shoulders, amusement in his eyes. He’d said to Chi Cheng, “Start running for ge. Go, fly2.” 

From that day on, the ‘humble name’ that was used to help him survive was gone. The ‘bitterness’—the suffering3—from his past was also gone.

Tao Huainan wasn’t used to it in the beginning, ‘Chi Ku’ still leaving his mouth as soon as he opened it. He’d called it for too many years. Later, the new name came easier to him, but other people called Chi Cheng the same way; it didn’t feel intimate enough to Tao Huainan.

After going around in circles again and again and again, Tao Huainan groped over to Chi Cheng one day while he was studying. He called out, “Ku-ge.” It was usually just Tao Xiaodong who called him that as a joke; Tao Huainan now followed along.

Chi Cheng gave him a look and let him be.

–

Tao Huainan went to bed early. Chi Cheng studied for a lot longer than him, but before ten, he too went to sleep.

In the middle of the night, Tao Huainan’s cell phone alarm began to ring; both of them woke up. One of Chi Cheng’s arms was wrapped around him from the back—when he woke, he pulled it away and flipped over.

Tao Huainan was unbelievably sleepy. One minute later, an alarm rang again.

“Say ‘happy birthday’ to me.” Tao Huainan reached behind himself and patted Chi Cheng.

With his eyes closed, Chi Cheng said, “Happy birthday.”

“And?” Tao Huainan turned over, face turned towards Chi Cheng.

Chi Cheng was about to fall back asleep; he didn’t respond.

Tao Huainan didn’t hear anything from him even after waiting a long while, and so he unhappily patted him again. Chi Cheng barely managed to crack open his eyes. “Hm?”

“That’s it? Think about how much I say to you whenever it’s your birthday,” Tao Huainan grumbled.

The blind boy had a sense of ritual: he would also turn on alarms for Chi Cheng’s birthday, and when he woke up in the middle of the night, he’d say a long string of nice-sounding words. To summarise them all, he hoped xiao-ge would forever be happy. 

Chi Cheng didn’t have that sense of ritual, and he also really wasn’t that sensitive. Right now, he was just sleepy; he couldn’t open his eyes. 

“I’m leaving.” Tao Huainan wasn’t sleepy anymore. Flipping up the blanket, he was about to get up.

Chi Cheng pulled him back with an arm. “Where you going?”

“I’m going to ge’s room.” Tao Huainan moved his arm away. “Ge’s not like you.”

Chi Cheng dragged him back. He didn’t know what kind of fuss Tao Huainan was making in the middle of the night; his brain was about to turn into mush from trying to understand.

Tao Huainan was held back from leaving, but he was still unhappy—mainly because he felt like there was a difference between the way they treated each other; he felt like Chi Cheng had treated him half-heartedly,

Lifting up his arm, Chi Cheng pressed Tao Huainan’s face downwards and into a pillow with one hand. Tao Huainan made a few protesting noises into the pillow, struggling, and then Chi Cheng tugged him towards his own body. With his face squashed into Chi Cheng’s body, Tao Huainan heard him say, “That’s enough, go to sleep. I’ll still be with you next year.”

That sentence sounded rather nice, so Tao Huainan was finally satisfied, happily adjusting himself into a comfortable position. Holding onto Chi Cheng’s clothes, he hummed, “I’ll be with you too.”

Chi Cheng squeezed the back of his head and said, “Sleep.”

–

At this age, Tao Huainan grew year by year, and he slowly grew taller as well. He became craftier too, and sometimes Tao Xiaodong would laugh and say he was like a little fox4.

But it didn’t matter what his numerical age was: at home, he was still that annoying brat who whined all day.

And as time passed, he became even more annoying than before. 

–

“Happy birthday, little cub.” Tao Xiaodong threw the gift box over onto his bed. Hugging it, Tao Huainan felt it.

“What’s this?”

“Cellphone,” Tao Xiaodong said.

“A phone again?” Tao Huainan got off the bed and went out in his slippers, putting the box onto the dining table. “Hurry and return it. The one I’m using now still works fine.”

“Didn’t you say it wasn’t convenient to use?” Tao Xiaodong opened the box and handed the phone to Chi Cheng, who’d come out of the kitchen. “Set it up for him, I’m feeling too lazy right now.”

“You’re just wasting money, Tao Xiaodong.” Tao Huainan sat by the side, his fingers tapping against the table. “You’re rich now? Is money easy to earn?”

Amused, Tao Xiaodong nodded and said, “Yes, easy.” 

Tao Huainan had WeChat now, as well as QQ and Weibo. His phone even had a text to speech app, and he’d occasionally listen to books. But sometimes the talkback feature5 didn’t work well with an interface that it couldn’t read—during those times, Tao Huainan could only go look for Chi Cheng to help him.

“I already have several phones. Even the kind that comes included with a phone bill is enough for me to use.” Tao Huainan was still grumbling. “When it comes to me, what’s the difference between a phone that’s worth a few thousand and a phone that’s worth a few hundred?” 

He didn’t think much of what he said, but the older brother wasn’t happy listening to it. Why was it just their family’s younger brother who couldn’t see the difference. Even if he couldn’t see it, he still needed to have it. If other people had something, so must the little cub at home.

–

They went with ge to his shop during the day. Ge and Huang-ge had opened a new shop again. It was really large, and there were many, many deaf and mute people working in it—they were all part-time students.

Tao Huainan really liked going to the shop now. He liked the atmosphere there; everyone was kind and very friendly.

While Chi Cheng helped Tao Huainan download apps, Tao Huainan sat next to him with his legs crossed and said, “Don’t forget the text to speech app.” 

“Already done.”

“I haven’t even finished yesterday’s book yet.” Tao Huainan patted Chi Cheng’s leg. “Can you help me fast forward to where I was before?”

There was nothing to it; Chi Cheng let out a ‘mn’.

He’d just tapped into the app on Tao Huainan’s old phone when Tao Huainan remembered something and suddenly leaned over, holding onto the phone. He said, “Nevermind. Don’t do it.”

Chi Cheng glanced at him and asked, raising his eyebrows, “Listening to nonsense again?”

“No, not nonsense.” Covering the phone, Tao Huainan refused to let him fix it. “I’ll do it myself later.”

Chi Cheng pushed aside his hand, looked at the progress and adjusted it on Tao Huainan’s new phone. He didn’t read the text.

Tao Huainan was still explaining. “It really isn’t nonsense, the book just happened to reach that part.” 

Too lazy to deal with him, Chi Cheng gave his face a pinch. He said, “Go listen to your porn book.” 

–

Tao Huainan had once downloaded a random book, and when he started listening to it, some obscene content had started playing before he’d listened to more than a few sentences. Tao Huainan had flushed all over and thought it was bad—but he didn’t turn it off.

Next to him, Chi Cheng had tugged off one of his earphones and stuffed it into his own ear. After listening to a few sentences, he’d deleted the book and had even told Tao Huainan he couldn’t listen to those kinds of books.

Tao Huainan was a clean, pure little cub, and he’d never actively gone searching for those kinds of books. He normally listened to respectable books. After being scolded by Chi Ku6, he’d felt both embarrassed and wronged, nattering on and explaining for half the day. Chi Cheng knew he was actually very obedient, so later, he didn’t really mind him.

–

Once Chi Cheng finished downloading everything and had turned on the talkback feature, he handed the phone back to Tao Huainan.

Only then did Tao Huainan relax. He hid it in his pocket, not even daring to pull it out.

He truly couldn’t let Chi Cheng find out about the book he was listening to yesterday. If he found out, then Tao Huainan wouldn’t be able to explain himself. This book was different from previous erotic books; in those books, anything that was out of the normal was usually related to their actions or the language they spoke.

Tao Huainan didn’t know how he should describe yesterday’s book—things didn’t feel right the more he listened. He hadn’t even dared to imagine the relationship between the people in the book. As he listened, his heart squeezed until it had felt uncomfortable.

But he still wanted to finish it.

If Chi Cheng found out, he might get angry. And if he got angry, he might refuse to let Tao Huainan continue listening to books in the future. Chi Cheng minded him too strictly these days; he turned fiercer the older he became. There wasn’t a hint of him softening.

–

The child had grown up like a sapling. He was more open than before and was no longer so closed off.

When he was in the store, Tao Huainan played quite well with the other young deaf or mute people. The group of disabled people gathered together, and when they had free time and weren’t doing anything, they would chat about random things in their group chat.

The company had a main group chat, and these disabled people had their own group chat. Tao Huainan was also in it.

It sounded like it would be very difficult to have blind and mute people together. In the past, they wouldn’t be able to communicate at all, but now that there were phones, speech and text circled around each other. One would rely on their ears while the other relied on their eyes, and it wasn’t difficult to socialise at all. 

They had their own world. Within this little circle of theirs, everyone felt relaxed and at ease.

–

Chi Cheng was upstairs, studying and doing papers. He left Tao Huainan downstairs to play.

Ge was also downstairs. He had clients today.

Chi Cheng did two hours’ worth of papers, and when he was about to finish, he felt someone pat his shoulder. Turning his head around, Chi Cheng saw a university student, new to the store, gesturing to him. 

Chi Cheng raised an eyebrow, using his facial expression to ask what’s up.

The university student pointed downstairs. Opening his mouth, he couldn’t speak; he could only urgently and empathetically call out ‘ah’ twice. 

Chi Cheng stood up and followed him downstairs.

They’d just reached the second floor when he saw Tao Huainan sitting on the sofa in the rest area, holding onto his own shoulder. Chi Cheng could tell he was in pain as soon as he saw his face, but Tao Huainan was still cheerfully grinning, all scatter-brained.

Chi Cheng walked over. “What happened?” 

As soon as Tao Huainan heard him come over, he reached out to touch him. He whispered, “I knocked into a nail.”

Chi Cheng frowned and went to spread open his collar. There was a span of red on Tao Huainan’s pale skin, and there was a small dot of blood right in the middle. The bead had oozed out just enough; it was about to flow down. 

“Where’d you knock into it?” Chi Cheng asked, his voice grave.

“There’s a new shelf over there. I didn’t know.” Tao Huainan swung his hand. “I’m sorry.”

There was no end to it after just a short while of not having seen him. After knocking into something and after being in pain, he still considerately knew not to bother ge and his work; he only knew to look for xiao-ge.

–
The author has something to say:
Plucking out some seedlings again.

–

1 This is a double pun! The first pun is: a common way to swear in Chinese is by using ‘his/her/your mum’ (or insert any family member here). Tao Xiaodong uses ‘his granny’ here as the swear. The second pun is with the Chinese slang of calling others your grandson or getting someone to call themselves your grandson. Except Chi Ku actually is her grandson LOL.
2 The ‘cheng’ (骋) character means to gallop ahead, to give (yourself, or someone else) free rein.
3 The ‘ku’ (苦) character can also mean suffering (such as, to endure suffering).
4 Foxes in Chinese culture are a symbol of craftiness/trickery. The nine-tailed fox in Chinese mythology are shapeshifters, so they sometimes can be seen as untrustworthy.
5 An accessibility service on phones for blind/visually impaired users. It gives audio descriptions, vibrations and/or other audible feedback to tell the user what’s happening on the phone screen.
6 The raws randomly went back to using Chi Ku here, so we kept it!