Ferocious Dog of Old

“I do believe you.” Tao Huainan lifted a hand to touch Chi Cheng’s face. “And I know you’re really amazing, but you’d suffer too much.”

Chi Cheng indifferently rubbed his chin. “Don’t overthink it.”

They sat like that from afternoon to dusk, and then Chi Cheng needed to go prepare dinner for them. Holding onto a piece of his shirt, Tao Huainan was quiet and peaceful the entire time. Chi Cheng patted him when he wanted to get up, and before Tao Huianan shifted away, he raised his head and softly kissed Chi Cheng’s chin.

Chi Cheng ruffled his hair and placed him to the side, getting up and going into the kitchen by himself.

–

Tao Xiaodong ignored both of these two little brothers; he became angry no matter who he saw.

But as an older brother, he couldn’t stay away from home forever. Tao Huainan called him twice a day. Tao Xiaodong took a few more days before he returned, and when he came back, he immediately took off his clothes and went to shower; he didn’t talk to the two of them.

Tao Huainan waited for him at the door, while Chi Cheng went to cut some fruit.

After finishing, Tao Xiaodong came out with a towel still on his hair. The two younger ones were both looking at him.

“Ge,” Chi Cheng called out.

Tao Xiaodong pretended to not hear him.

“Ge, please don’t ignore me.” Tao Huainan stretched out a hand in his direction, and Tao Xiaodong smacked the back of his hand as he walked past. Pulling his hand back, Tao Huainan rubbed his hand and said, “Are you finally going to start abusing us?” 

Tao Xiaodong replied as he continued walking, “I finally understand why so many parents hit their children.” 

“Because you can’t work off your anger until you hit something?” Tao Huainan asked.

Glancing at Chi Cheng, Tao Xiaodong said, “You should be glad you aren’t my true younger brother right now. Or else I’d be beating you up today.”

–

Tao Xiaodong’s head still ached whenever he looked at them. Even though it was Chi Cheng who’d done it and Tao Huainan was the one who was affected by it—Tao Xiaodong was well aware he hadn’t known what was going to happen—he couldn’t help but be angry at the both of them. They had always been a pair. 

He didn’t stay in the living room; he went back to his own room and sat down on his bed. He’d lately contacted a lot of his friends and was now waiting for some things to be done—he’d also contacted friends with children about his brothers’ ages to ask about schools. There were a ton of unreplied messages on his phone, but he wasn’t really in the mood to look at them.

Chi Cheng came in from the living room. Tao Huainan wasn’t following behind him.

Seeing him, Tao Xiaodong’s heart tightened; he was too lazy to even raise his head.

Chi Cheng walked over and sat on the floor. Next to Tao Xiaodong’s leg, he called out, “Ge.”

Tao Xiaodong still didn’t lift up his head, keeping his eyes focused on his phone.

“Hit me, ge.” Chi Cheng’s arms circled around his knees, and he said to Tao Xiaodong, “I might not be your true younger brother, but you’re my true older brother. It’s right and natural for you to hit me if I did something wrong.”

Only then did Tao Xiaodong look at him. Gazing at the top of Chi Cheng’s head, he let out a ‘oh’ after a long, long time. “Cheating now, are we? Your brother write the script for you?”

“No.” Chi Cheng raised his head and looked at him. “I’m not great with words. Ge, don’t be angry anymore.”

–

The two of them definitely needed to have a talk. It didn’t matter if Tao Xiaodong hit him or not; Chi Cheng needed to apologise no matter what. It didn’t matter why he did it—he still did something wrong after all. 

Tao Huainan didn’t eavesdrop on their conversation, returning back to his own room. It was very hard for Chi Cheng to talk so frankly with someone else; there were many things he wouldn’t say even to Tao Huainan. It was okay if he didn’t say everything to Tao Huainan, and if Tao Huainan got angry, he didn’t need to coax him and only needed to wait for a few days to pass—but it was different with ge.

“I don’t care if you were the top scorer or not. That’s just a title. It’s no difference to me whether you were the first or the tenth.” Tao Xiaodong was finally willing to talk to Chi Cheng, and both his eyes and voice were filled with helplessness. “I was more than happy for you to study in the blind school during primary school since Tao Huainan was so young back then, so timid. I would’ve been so worried if I sent him there by himself—he was unable to be away from us for even a single day.”

Whenever he talked about this, it always felt like it’d only been a few years since he sent the two little radishes into the blind school. But now, looking back, quite a number of years had already passed; the two children were now entering high school.

Tao Xiaodong thought about the stubborn, quiet little child who’d barely spoke and looked again at the Chi Cheng who was now not much shorter than him and said with a frown, “I was also fine with you staying with him during junior high since you studied well and didn’t need me to worry about you. But do you think high school is like primary school? Do you think you can get a top score just by casually glancing over some papers?”

Chi Cheng didn’t speak, silently listening to his scolding.

“Your score determines what school you get into. What do you think you’re repaying me by doing something like this? The last three years are something both Tao Huainan and I owe you. The two of us won’t be able to repay you for ending up in a shitty high school, screwing up your university entrance exams and being unable to do anything with your life.” Tao Xiaodong spoke very deliberately, his words intentionally carrying thorns. He was honestly trying to anger Chi Cheng.

With his eyebrows drawn together, Chi Cheng said, “I’ve never thought about repaying you—and neither could I ever repay you. If you didn’t bring me here, there wouldn’t even be a high school to talk about. I wouldn’t have gone to school. I might not even be alive. I can never pay you back.” 

“I don’t need you to pay me back.” Tao Xiaodong nudged Chi Cheng’s arms with his knees, saying, “Do you feel particularly capable? With Tao Huainan as your responsibility, do you feel like you can do anything to the point you can hold up the sky with just a bit of effort?”

Chi Cheng really wasn’t great with words; he didn’t know how he should explain himself to Tao Xiaodong. Him doing this had nothing to do with repaying him.

He sat there with his head lowered for a while and then raised it. He looked at Tao Xiaodong and said, “Ge, I’ll just ask you one thing. If you were my age and Tao Huianan was entering high school like now, what would you do?”

Tao Xiaodong refused to indulge him. With a wave of his hand, he said, “I don’t know. Don’t talk about hypotheticals with me.” 

–

He might have said he wouldn’t discuss hypotheticals, but Tao Xiaodong also spent a long while in silence afterwards. Both of them were clear—if it had been Tao Xiaodong, he would’ve done something even more drastic.

School was important, grades were important, but they weren’t as important as ‘my little brother’. That year, after Chi Cheng’s fight in school, he only ever answered one thing no matter who asked: he hit my brother. It was the same now when it came down to it: he is my brother.

“I want to be tied to him my whole life. I want him to live under our gaze every single day.” Chi Cheng was still in the same position as earlier, slowly talking to Tao Xiaodong. His eyes were very calm, yet they also carried sincerity. “I know that’s not possible.”

Tao Huainan hadn’t come out of his room, but Chi Cheng still turned around to glance in that direction before looking back and continuing in a low voice, “One day, he will need to live independently. There will be times when you and I can’t always be watching over him, but I want those times to come later. I want to wait until he’s surrounded by adults, when there aren’t any terrible people who will cause trouble for him out of curiosity or inexplicable spite. Then, he too will be an adult and will be a ‘blind person’ at most. But now—he’s a ‘blind child’. He’s too easy to bully.”

–

In Tao Xiaodong’s memories, Chi Cheng had never spoken so much before. He spoke somewhat self-consciously, and he was also uneasy after he finished. He truly wasn’t used to dissecting open his heart like this, to speak out loud his inner thoughts. 

He placed himself in the same position as Tao Xiaodong as he spoke; they were two older brothers, communicating with each other. Dimly, faintly, Tao Xiaodong felt like Chi Cheng had grown up quite a lot again.

“If he was my true younger brother, everything would be much easier to accept. You guys wouldn’t feel like you owe me anything, and there wouldn’t be anything about repaying this or repaying that. It would be a simple ‘you brothers get along so well’.” 

Chi Cheng pushed himself off the floor with a hand. When he stood up, his voice was a bit heavy. “I could only wish you were my true older brother, but I was born Chi and not Tao. I really do want to do a lot of things for you two—and it’s not because you took me in. It’s because he’s my younger brother, and you are my ge.” 

He turned and left as soon as he finished. It was summer, peak heat, and some sweat had already gathered on his forehead just by sitting on the floor and talking for a while. As he walked, Chi Cheng tugged up his shirt and wiped away the sweat; Tao Xiaodong watched him from behind. His body still had that thinness that came from youth—he was a child both skinny and tall.

Within his own field, Tao Xiaodong was open and friendly, able to become friends with just anyone. He understood human kindness, human favours; he had a way with words.

And yet today, he was made fully speechless by the child at home who didn’t know how to talk. His heart felt both soft and swollen, and it also felt a bit of bittersweetness that came from being an older brother all these years. To those words, he didn’t know what to say. 

–

Credits:
Author – Bu Wen San Jiu (Not Asking If It’s Three or Nine)
Raw link 
Translation – Amy

Note from Amy and Nande:

Hey everyone! Thanks for being so patient as we recharged and worked out how we wanted to proceed. Moving forward, we have decided to place Ferocious Dog of Old behind proof of purchase starting next week (chapter 46). New updates will be on Google Drive, and access will be given only to those who provide us with proof of having purchased the book. 

We made this decision due to the Situation That Shall Not Be Named. Updates will still be at the same pace as before, one chapter a week (unless we suddenly get more time on our hands). We understand if that means some of you will wait for us to fully translate the novel prior to paying for access. We stress that the purchase is to the author directly and not to us.

As of this chapter, we have translated 45 out of 126 chapters, over a third of the entire novel. On JJWXC, VIP chapters started at chapter 25. We believe that if you have stuck with us so far and for so long, you have a general understanding of whether you like the novel enough (and/or our translation style) to support the author and her work.

Previous chapters will remain unlocked on this site as a ‘preview’, if you will, for you and future readers to decide if you can and/or wish to support the author based on our work.