Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

Inspired by Jordinio's work that made me fall in love with the word 'grind.'

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A/N: Despite my love for Naruto... we're all aware of the sheer plotholes not even including the storytelling but the timeline itself. So, as any respectable fanfic writer, I decided to wing it. To make it more simpler for me and the character's growth. For convenience's sake, I will be using a timeline from fandom which was linked on reddit. Hmm, what else... ah, yes, everyone who's aware of my work knows harem runs deep in this one so beware~!

No trap stuff intended even remotely and possible traps may just be girls. It obviously starts at the 'novice' village but this work is started on a whim as I wanted to try a gamer system myself. Again, like with the quest maker ff, I intend to get a hang of naruto word and develop some head canons before using them on PoI but that doesn't mean that this project is short in any way.

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[Congratulations! Trait Maker 766618 is the first to reach the Mythical Trait Maker! Divine Evolution Commencing.]

It has been years but the announcement that hung over the consciousness of every individual be it a blabbering infant or a deranged old coot was still remembered by many. After all, in the Trait Maker Planet... a Mythical Trait Maker was unheard of but the fact that this announcement only came once the fabled rebel called Cowl brought the Federation to its knees before disappearing. Even the rebellion lost most of its best fighters after the rebels won which made many detectives, historians, and organization clutch their hair in anger but not Kaye. He was just happy keeping to himself fully knowing that his trait was just too close to the legendary rebel and letting it known to others, no matter how common the notion of revealing one's trait was, just not within him... unfortunately, with how he had 'personalized' himself and he honestly hated every second of it.

Traits.

A mysterious concept that dwells within every single living being on the planet Trait Maker and can range from mighty powers such as manipulation of matter to something as... mundane as vomiting soda and making a wickedly fetishized company out of it. Truly— Sickly Cola wasn't fooling anybody!

Everyone has a trait awakened after six years of age but not everyone could use it. A trait can only be activated with a trigger. Some pass their entire life without knowing what this trigger is while some find it the next day after the required age while pissing people around. The trigger can be any specific action be it speech, bodily movement, and as such...

While it is true for the most part that the harsher the conditions of the trait, the more rewarding it is... Kaye was positively tired. Not of his trait but his stupid choices. Traits and their hosts share a reasonably strange relationship. Even now nobody knows if these traits are a form of living beings or not but many speculations were beginning to build up after that announcement once the Federation fell.

Yet, here he was, overseeing the world on the ledge of a tall skyscraper.

"Stop!" A growling grumble made him smirk as he looked back at the many old mercenaries aiming their weapons from guns to laser-pointed swords... oh, well.

"I mean... there is no platform to step forward to so I am indeed... paused," Kaye replied calmly. Hating every second of not feeling anything despite the situation but then this hate was washed away in an instant, bringing his mood back to equilibrium much to his annoyance... which was washed away again. He looked barely injured while many mercenaries were having it even hard to hold out. It was honestly a wonder why the rising mercenary just didn't run away and let himself get cornered like this.

Again, he was tired. Just that. But Kaye realized that those who do not have their emotions kept in check, their desires forever suppressed, would never be able to realize his own twisted thoughts. The harsher the conditions... the greater the rewards. And Kaye felt like a fool to be so eager to give up these things when he could have very well chosen other personalization options.

"Hand us the Gem of Kalin," one of the women hissed furiously.

"This old thing?" A fist-sized gem appeared on Kaye's palm as everyone's gaze was attracted to it. They hated the fact that Kaye just one-shotted the best merc with a strange steal trait that allowed him to... steal things. If not, then the gem would have disappeared from Kaye's hand this instant.

"Why the hell would you steal from the client," An old man groaned but his body was sharper and straighter than others. His hawk-like gaze trailed every twitch of his body as Kaye yawned, "I don't know... really. At this point, I don't even consider anything..." And it was true, not an attempt at being some mysterious lord. Sleeping didn't bring him satisfaction. Eating didn't bring him joy. He had crushes in high school but damn his trait and his choices...

Just... damn... he felt pathetic... aaaaannnndddd— woosh! He wasn't even allowed to feel pity for himself.

But Kaye was just too accustomed to trolling others. It was his... daily activity at this point. It brought him no joy, but then again, if he can't feel anything, Kaye humbly thought he should bring terror to others in the most mundane manner so that they can realize how lucky they are during fortunate events. Stealing a candy here... tripping a child there. Snapping a bully's mom's nude pic and spreading it in the school... ah, the dull joys of life. Oh, and of course starting a massive crime ring just because.

He sighed once again. The trigger of his trait was as simple as thinking.

'Status.'

[Name: Kaye

Age: 24

Title: Bored Baiter

Gamer Traits: Gamer Mind; Stats Physiology

Level: 177

PHYSIQUE: 69/100

MENTAL: 69/100

ENERGY: 690/1000 (6.9/sec)

Points: 885

Skills:

Titles:]

When Kaye should have been satisfied by seeing such a mythical distribution of his stats... he felt nothing. He focused on his skill, one particular skill to be exact.

[Reincarnation Technique (1/1):

A mysterious technique formed by a skill-maker trait that allows the registered host to bend the laws of the universe and reincarnate in a random location and at a random time. The age of the reincarnated body is suspected to be the same age as the current host but exceptions are likely to be kept in mind. This technique can only be used once.]

Honestly, this was a technique briefly found and later leaked from the headquarters of the rebel leader Cowl. While many thought that the disappearance of that man was linked to this technique, not many could attest... aside from those who had traits similar to Kaye.

Oh, he never believed only he had such weirs traits...

But even he admitted he wasn't tired or bored enough to commit suicide... however, a planned suicide that could troll the wealthiest force of the world, however... had a nice ring to it. Maybe he would be satisfied in the next life?

"Gem of Kalin," Kaye gave a hollow chuckle, "Kalin meaning fortune. It's an apt name given that this gem has the key to the rebels' knowledge about the previous federation and all their operations."

He looked at others and shrugged before stretching his arm out, "You want this?"

The hint of exasperation on their faces couldn't be more evident as everyone knew it wouldn't be this easy.

Saddened by the fact that they wouldn't even humor him on the last leg of his life, he groaned, "Fine, here, take it."

Kaye tossed the gem in their direction, much to their surprise, and then...

Fwip!

Wind impacted his body as he free-fell from the ground, fully intending on landing on the antique Qustang that the old merc was so proud of.

Meanwhile, others were surprised. They felt that Kaye surely must have some sort of glider and it all made sense to them but when they brawled amongst themselves to take the gem... it fell on the ground. It didn't matter to them. After all, this gem could survive a point-blank blast from a tank!

Yet...

*Crack*

The barely audible sound stopped the mercs dead cold in their tracks and they looked at the gem... no, a counterfeit made of glass breaking apart.

"Fuck him— let's chase after him—" Before they could rouse themselves, a large crashing thud and the following blare of a familiar car made their expressions pale.

---

"Puh— hahahahahahahahahahaha!" A child held his belly and laughed out loud. Tears streamed from his eyes as he just couldn't hold his voice while he flopped his feet up and down and leaned against a tree next to a small pond in a courtyard.

The Koi Fish in the pond stared at the boy before swimming and minding its own business while the boy's chuckles grew even louder until he felt breathless and wheezed, rubbing his tears away before sighing in contentment and looking at the gloomy sky collected over his head. Oh, boy! He had never felt the sky brighter than THIS! Joy is in the eyes of the beholder and now... he just felt too content.

Sure, this world was fucked up and his life expectancy didn't surpass the age of 15 but boy he felt giddy! Just eleven more years of laughing, crying, anger, and finally, lust, was a price worth splatting his inside over onto that horribly painted antique car! Good riddance!

He grew silent and then finally settled. Oh, he won't make the same mistakes again. Even now, he loved the grind but to feel satisfaction, he decided to be more... human in his choices this time... if IT followed him here, too.

With bated breath, he thought internally, 'Activate.'

[Booting Gamer Trait. Stabilizing Trait. Scanning surroundings...]

He knew that his trait was just too good. He suspected that this scan which allowed the quests to form at its own convenience unlike the Mission Maker Trait of the legendary Rebel, had the range of the entire planet not to mention how the rewards from these few 'game' quests threatened to break the economy at times.

[Scan successful. Trait Reset. Personalization beginning.]

[Please chose two sub-sets of gamer traits that will be allocated to the host permanently until a few conditions are met—

1) Gamer Mind: Utter calmness and logic prevail over the thoughts of the host.

2) Stats Physiology: The host can adapt to a leveling system where each level will grant stats points. Allocation of the stat points to the appropriate stats will enhance the host appropriately while consuming the energy around the host.

3) Skill Tree: The host can develop a skill tree and gain skill points for each skill leveled to unlock more knowledge. The unlocked skill tree depends on the user's social status.

4) Sleepless Gamer: Sleep is an option. A gamer who sleeps is no gamer.

5) Gamer Body: Instead of stat points, the host will have a gamer's body which means death greets you not when your head is separated but when your Hit Points is turned 0. As such, stats will become more diverse for proper computation of hit and stamina bar.]

He looked at the options placed in front of him and grew thoughtful only for a second. First of all, fuck Gamer's mind!

And then he looked at Stats Physiology before shaking his head again. As lucrative as it sounded to allocate points and then grow stronger, it was barely satisfactory to him, and after years of dullness, the last thing he wanted was strength provided on a platter when there was a bigger platter available to him in the form of the skill tree.

Heck, the combination of the skill tree and sleepless gamer went so well that it was all in his own hands. If he wanted to train, he can. If not, he can sleep!

While Gamer Body intrigued him... fuck that, too, just because of how similar it sounded to Gamer Mind. Oh, he understood that this trait was his own and he was, technically, cursing himself. Damn right he was!

And thus, he selected the two options he wanted with a thought.

[Gamer Personalization completed. Stats scanned and adjusted. Stat attributes scanned and adjusted. No category related to stats acquired. Specialized stats passively unlocked for grinding purposes.]

Information about his trait once again filled his mind as he nodded in satisfaction.

As stated, if no specialized stat feature is chosen then all the stats are unlocked. Well, just for his eyes that is without any special effect. Meaning, that even if he has a hp bar, a slice of his head means he's dead and not when hp falls to zero. Understandable.

[Name: Kai

Age: 4

Title: Uzumaki Maid

Gamer Traits: Skill Tree; Sleepless Gamer

Rank: Civilian

Hit Points: 100℅

Stamina: 100℅ (0.1/min)

Chakra: Dormant

Physique: 4/1000

Mental: 7/1000

Perception: 3/1000

Skills:

Titles:]

'The fuck... so much for ALL stats... energy just turned to chakra, hp and stamina are irrelevant to growth of the stat to a certain extent so no dopamine on that... and there is only the addition of perception.'

Kaye... no, Kai blinked and resisted the urge to groan but was still happy that at least, he felt annoyed. His trait in these matters was quite simple. Physique was the sum total of stat that described his body be it dexterity, strength output, agility, reaction time— everything related to his physical movement was contained in that one stat and was an average of individual stats of the body so... he was quite surprised when he was already THAT strong at just the bratty age of four. But he didn't mind he was reincarnated young. He would be happy to ogle the ladies with an innocent expression. Well, not really... but it's nice to have the option, no?

He then continued with his other aspects.

[Uzumaki Maid: Increases the favorability of the head of Uzumaki Clan.]

[Skills:

1) Sprint (2/3): Increases the speed during the sprint and reduces the stamina consumed during the sprint by 10℅. Current consumption: 2/min.

Next Level: Sprint for 540/600 mins Or 1 SP.]

[Completed Skills:

1) Dishwashing (1/1)

2) Massage (3/3)

3) Seal Language (5/5)]

[Skill points: 11]

Kai hummed in amusement. Skills of his trait were different than others. In reality, because the skills he gained came with the knowledge from the trait, there was a clause that he can actively practice 5 skills at once, and once a skill is full mastered, the knowledge about it will belong to Kai and will be added to the permanent slots which do not have such restrictions. Every trait has its own restrictions and this was Kai's. That's all.

Every leveling of a skill brought him a skill point and he tried to open a skill tree... but found none. Again, the restriction of social position now came to be. But this barely affected him. Instead, he stood up stretched his body while letting out a loud and an audible yawn.

"Damn... I'm gonna hit the bed—"

"Kai, Mistress is calling for you to show for her massage. Don't be late!"

The stern shout from the head butler of the compound made Kai groan.

'Fine, I'll rub the old coot...'