Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

"You won?! YOU?" Sarutobi looked at all three of his disciples with the wrinkles near the corner of his eyes stretching somewhat as his widened gaze trailed Tsunade's irritated visage.

"Yes, me! I still can't understand why you all would even enter into a bet with me knowing that my students would wreck yours!" She always bragged so she thought if the two are still willing to bet then it must be because they have some form of secret... but no. Her students just shot the remaining six out of the park!

"Well..." Hiruzen muttered, not knowing how to put it but everyone could just trust their resident researcher to be as deliberate while as mocking as ever, "Tsunade, we did bet but not against your students. It was your horrible luck we were counting on. In just these two months, you have lost over 3,000,000 Ryo in gambling... we expected your bad luck to just screw with your team somehow. Apparently, skill does trump over luck, whether good or bad."

"Bunch of bastards!" Tsunade hissed as Jiraiya winced, his ribs aching and the woman stared at the Third Hokage, "But you will keep your promise, right, Sensei? I would feel horrible if something happened to the stash you asked Jiraiya for safety."

Realizing which stash she was talking about, Hiruzen's eyes widened while Orochimaru chuckled with his eyes narrowed and Jiraiya gulped.

"Of course... your team, as an assault force, covers all the basics for being promoted to a chunin. You still have ten months before the end of the year. Complete 20 C-ranked missions without any problems and your team will be promoted quick enough."

"And what if the mission rank turned out to be faulty?" Tsunade inquired so that there aren't any loopholes.

"You can choose to give it up and it will be considered complete for our bargain. Or, you can choose to continue but it will still be counted as 1 C-rank mission amongst ourselves."

"Hmm," she nodded, "Alright, it's you two's treat," she looked at the losers and Orochimaru shrugged while Jiraiya grinned, "You got it, it's a date!"

Ignoring to even comment on it, she left while Orochimaru followed but stopped when he was Jiraiya still in his position.

"I'll meet you there. I have something to report to Sensei," Jiraiya smiled as the man left with a small stare.

"So?" Hiruzen's expression grew somber while Jiraiya hummed thoughtfully, "Sensei... you must know that my information network is still young. It needs more people to work and integrate into... I did find quite a great detail but..."

Hiruzen grumbled as he saw his disciple's shameless expression and scoffed, "Fine, fine. You can build another redlight district but you will only get 400,000 Ryo as initial capital."

"More than enough," the man chortled and spoke with a huge grin, "And I did find something... but it's a tad, too serious."

His smile soon receded, "Uzushiogakure controls Land of Whirpool and has many, many business ventures that allow them to peacefully invest themselves in seals. Even their teams only take up a mission if they feel like having a vacation. But... a few merchants who are now no longer in the Land of Whirpool purchased a large number of seals of various kinds across the entire island at once. By the time Uzushiogakure realized what was happening, they were nowhere to be found."

"My sources suggest that two teams from Uzushiogakure left to investigate this but never returned. It is unlike a seal master to get captured or the Uzumaki skills would have been long revealed. Most likely speculation is that these shinobi used some triggering seals and tried to take their assaulters with them. With that being said, the merchants of Kirigakure are extremely interested in business ideas within the Land of Whirlpool," Jiraiya said meaningfully, "But others have yet to make a move. Maybe we're just being paranoid?"

Hiruzen frowned, "Maybe... but keep this knowledge to yourself. Not even Tsunade and Orochimaru need to be informed about this."

"But—"

"That's enough of it," Hiruzen looked up and stated sharply, "Go and relax. It's rarer than a war Tsunade to win a gamble."

Jiraiya frowned and left reluctantly.

After a few minutes... Hiruzen called for another shinobi and soon, a blue-haired man with his long hair simply falling on his back walked into the office and knelt, "Lord Third!"

"Dan... try your mission again. Tsunade is relaxing with Orochimaru and Jiraiya in the usual spot."

" Lord Third... my identity is already—"

"Then be honest. This could be your last mission of this kind so make it count," Hiruzen smiled and Dan blinked before nodding and flickering away.

"Huff... What did Tsunade change in her diet? Winning gambles and making stable political moves for her clan..." He shook his head with a sigh.

---

"Ah, Cinnamon, it feels that we haven't met in such a long time... I missed you, my dear friend," Kai smiled as he fed the unsuspecting koi fish in their clan compound's courtyard pond. He kept his hand in the water as Cinnamon the Koi was slowly reaching out and about to eat a treat from his hand when—

"Kai-chan! Let's go!" A loud, boisterous tomato came crashing into him while the Koi fish scurried away fearfully as Kai's lipa parted in bewilderment. So close... yet so far. His heart could barely take it!

"Just— ugh!" Kai groaned and pulled Kushina away, "You're all bones, Kushina! At least grow up a bit!"

"Shut it!" sporting a red redder than the red of her red hair, Kushina hissed, "Come on, Mikoto said that she will give us a treat for winning at her clan compound's ramen place. Don't get me wrong, I like Ichiraku Ramen but Teuchi-san still couldn't get his hands on that Gruff Boar and that shop in Mikoto's compound just has the best flavor—"

Kai held like a rag doll against his will, was dragged away from his precious Cinnamon and grind while forced to hear the very immaculate report on ramen and why it tingles Kushina's taste buds in the most pleasant manner.

They soon reached the Uchiha compound and got the entry before finding Mikoto waiting for them at Kushina's favorite store tied with Ichiraku Ramen but seeing another acquaintance put a damper on Kushina's mood as Kai nodded with a smile that still screamed innocent but deadly in the eyes of Kushina and Mikoto.

"Good Evening, Fugaku-san. Looking... uh, fit as usual."

"Hmm, Kai, I hope you are well," Fugaku spoke with a stoic expression that didn't really suggest he prayed for anyone's wellness... ever.

The group fell into a tense silence. Well, the two did. Fugaku was perfectly happy in silence and Kai didn't feel awkward. The moment you feel awkward, you lose, after all.

"Ehm, so, Fugaku-san heard about our crushing victory over the teams of the Third's disciples and wanted to congratulate you guys." Mikoto chuckled wryly with annoyance flashing in her eyes. It wasn't just the age gap of 7-8 years that made Mikoto feel weird. It's just that she knew it for a fact that most, in the Uchiha, who wanted to marry her did so to become the next patriarch of the clan. Honestly, Mikoto wished that her father would just have a child with their maid to free her of the responsibility but he was too loyal to her late mother that he could never do anything like that.

"Hmm, indeed. We at Konoha police know it at a good authority that Noha Utatane, Hiro Mitokado, and Sen Sato are being considered for Konoha Anbu. Of course, this information isn't classified so, be at ease."

"Uta, Mito, Sato who?" Kai shrugged and Fugaku's brows briefly concentrated into a frown before he shook his head. Always serious.

"Are we going to eat ramen or not?" Kushina grumbled while Mikoto chuckled, her mood brightening at her friend's antics, and nodded, "Sure, come with me."

As they entered, Fugaku silently followed but them Mikoto suddenly pulled him out of the store and stated in passing, "Give me a minute with Fugaku-san. You guys can order."

As she brought him aside, Mikoto frowned, "Fugaku-san, please don't take this the wrong way because even my father adores you but I am not interested in you. Not because of the age gap but just..."

"I'm well aware of that," Fugaku nodded calmly, "But I was led to believe that the clan leader's daughter would know that things like infatuation and romance are ideas suited for civilians and not us Shinobi. Besides, when you get older, you will have to either take the mantle of the Matriarch and marry someone from the clan or step down and let someone else become the Patriarch who would marry you to solidify his role."

Mikoto's stare only got more and more dreary as Fugaku seemed to have planned for her entire life and she snapped, "Or I can leave the clan and mary any shinobi!"

Fugaku nodded and sighed softly, "You could. But Uchiha Dojutsu is coveted and the clan rule states that any member who wishes to leave must have seals integrated into their eyes that would cause your eyes to lose their light should they be removed from your body. But still, seals like these are barely a deterrent to the rightfully motivated ones. And I am told that you went through War Protocols... then you must know a few unsaid things that can happen to a kunoichi with a bloodline as coveted as Uchiha.

That's why every chunin and higher-ranked Kunoichi of our clans have THAT seal in certain locations."

Had it been before she activated her Sharingan, she certainly would have felt cowed. Everything Fugaku spoke came with cold logic that left nothing for her to refute but who wouldn't be unwilling? She didn't want this kind of life... stuck to a man who barely spoke and when he did, made her feel so awful. It's dull. Cold.

"Fugaku-san, I have had a tough day today, sparring and all. I would appreciate it if we don't talk anymore... don't misunderstand. I am aware that you are merely trying to correct my mindset in a way you believe is right, but I don't wish to have to ask you to leave again and again every time."

Fugaku's gaze flickered and he nodded with a barely suppressed sigh and inquired, "I understand... but is there someone else? I believe I fulfill all the requirements to be met."

"Nah, there isn't any. And you just fulfilled my father's requirements. If that's the case, you may as well marry him... I've been told that many nobles are coming out of the closet. Why not a shinobi, too?"

Fugaku grew speechless. Even he didn't feel anything for Mikoto but understood that lying to a fellow clansman just wasn't right. Smiling at her joke, as crass as it may be, Fugaku left.

"Huff!" Mikoto sighed and sat down in front of Kai and Kushina with Kai don with his first bowl and Kushina on her fourth.

"You two really have it easy, huh," Mikoto pouted as they grinned.

"Say, Kai-chan, Kushina, what kind of person would you like to settle down with?"

'Ah... too much cheese girl, I thought we're here for the ramen,' Kai groaned. That weird performance review with Mito certainly made it clear that even if he would want to have a more... generous 'support' system, speaking it out loud would have a contrary effect.

"Hmm, I don't know..." Kushina blushed, "S-someone strong... that doesn't leave me because of my verbal tick... and is strong enough to protect me!"

"Says the girl who folded an Aburame and an Elder's grandson," Kai rolled his eyes.

"Hey!" Kushina blushed even more fiercely.

"Hehe, aren't you in luck, Kai-chan~!" Mikoto teased as she looked at the boy. Just if he would have been her age... well, he could pass off as one barely...

"Nah, not me. Jiraiya-san showed me that any sensible Shinobi would want to settle with someone like Tsunade Sensei... she's the best..." Kai snickered, making his teammate's expressions bleak as they snorted quietly.

---

"Hell no!" Tsunade barked in laughter as her face was flushed with the sake in her system. Jiraiya fully glared at the blue-haired youth while Orochimaru appreciated the chaos unfolding in front of his eyes.

Dan looked at her teammates and smiled politely, "May I please speak with her alone?"

"Over my dead body!" Jiraiya growled as Orochimaru chortled, "You heard him, over his dead body."

"Look dude, you had a shot and you blew it. Did Sensei put you up on it again? Honestly, he likes to brag that his wife left your kind after she had him but damnit, not everyone likes that!" Tsunade grumbled, "If you wanna drink, you can join but nothing else."

"I would be honored," Dan smiled but Orochimaru noticed a twinkle that Jiraiya and Tsunade would fail to see. Oh, the kind of twinkle Jiraiya had the night he almost lost his toad nuts forever. The twinkle of reckless planning.

'Oh, boy. This night is unfolding even better than I could have expected, fufufu.'

Dan entered the fray but it was clear to everyone that he had the social skills needed to ease into the situation and that made him earn Jiraiya's begrudging respect yet they didn't stop drinking. For all their bodies were better and more resistant than any civilian's imagination, special concoctions still left them in a state of high unless they used chakra to rectify the situation. But why wouldn't they want to relax?

But Orochimaru was waiting and he hoped that the reckless seed would bore a bloody fruit in front of his eyes and it did.

"Tsunade," Holding Tsunade's hand as Jiraiya stiffened, Dan spoke with an ostentatiously sincere expression and exhaled a sigh full of regret, "It was true that the Hokage set us up but that life is behind me now. I swear. The moments I had with you... I... felt lost without you. Please don't hate me when I—"

Dan's gaze flickered as he leaned forward with his lips slightly puckered out and his eyes closed. A mistake, Orochimaru smirked and held the table as they were giving the treat, and damn he was already short on research funds, meanwhile, Dan didn't see the punch coming as Tsunade's quicker reaction showed how long ago she had cleared the alcohol from her system. The punch broke his nose with an audible crunch before Dan's body tore through the partition of their private table and blasted out of the restaurant's wall.

"Orochimaru, contact the hospital..." Tsunade walked out as others gasped in surprise. Oh, she would physically heal Dan but not his mental trauma that Jiraiya got healed that time, too, fortunately. Others around Tsunade are definitely a beast in their own rights but should she get in one serious punch... that's enough.

---

"Nine ribs, all organs ruptured, broken skull, castration alongside broken legs. Even for you, Tsunade, this is..." Hiruzen sighed at the blonde woman standing in front of him when the other person besides the duo growled, "This is an atrocity! What gave you the right to mentally incapacitate an Anbu for provably the rest of his life? Tsunade Senju, heal Dan Kato's mind!"

Tsunade's gaze grew dull as she wondered... Dan was pleasing to the eye. Originally... she would have given him another chance. After all, there won't be any need for lies and they certainly clicked... Originally, she also would have lost her cool and would have argued about the fairness of it all... Originally... Originally...

'Ah... that's right. Grandma has started drinking wine again. I started actively helping out the clan and making sure that Nawaki doesn't waste his time. If the boy wants to become a Hokage, he needs to work for it. Nothing is the same... not even me. Not since I realized that power can be so... seductive. But that was never a problem. Just allowed me to keep the clan in one piece. I wonder how many of them would have died by now? After the three incorrect missions where the clan nins survived only because of the various seals and stock of distracting weapons... we have yet to be attacked again.

Sigh, couldn't I just be allowed to drink happily? Would have been a better night...'

"— ade! Tsunade! Did you hear what I said?!" Danzo spoke in a cold tone as Tsunade blinked and looked around before smiling, "Ah, sorry, Elder Danzo. I was lost in my thoughts."

The man gritted his teeth. Dan and he had a deal. If he manages to get Tsunade and be free of Anbu missions related to seduction, he would work for Root secretly for very lucrative terms but... not only did Danzo lose out on a very experienced Shinobi but also the ability to heal the man that resided in the bitch's mutty paws.

"Tsunade, if you knew why he was there, you could have just sent him away. We're all adults and know that men like Dan, despite being a civilian have too much strength to be treated as such." Hiruzen sighed. Unlike Dan, he liked to be clear and honest when the situation required it.

"Then let's speak like adults," Tsunade snorted, "Sensei, I have no interest in authority. I've seen what this position does to the people I loved. Nawaki is a clear candidate for the Senju seat but I can understand your need for me to 'produce' a backup. Not going to happen."

Danzo's gaze flickered for a second before he hid it as she continued, "As far as Dan goes, he tried to take advantage of the Senju Matriarch believing she was drunk. Be happy he is alive and has a chance to pull through as tiny as it may be. Even Jiraiya of all people knows that it's the last thing a person can do to me ever, I make sure of that."

"Alright, message received loud and clear," Hiruzen sighed and closed his eyes, "You can leave Tsunade. Know this, I do feel regretful to have caused such an incident during your first gambling victory."

Tsunade nodded plainly and snorted before leaving while she could already hear Danzo's arguments as if a hurt little mistress he was.

She smirked and recalled something, "Now that I remember... Nawaki goes to meet Grandma twice a week. She really did a number on him, huh... hehe... but..." Her gaze grew somber, "I must find someone to marry... or else I'll die a single and lone pure flower... ah, that would be too regretful!"

But did she have time for romance with the war almost upon then...

'Fuck being a clan leader... really. Maybe I should find my top dog and hand him or her the administrative work. Let's see, Uzumaki won't cut it. One whiff of ramen and she'd bounce away. The genius wants a fricking harem... pfft, as if! And Mikoto is an Uchiha. Working in an administrative capacity for a Senju is too... controversial. Damn... should I find another disciple?'

'Ah... I forgot to congratulate sensei on his new child. Damn, so old and still going at it with Lady Biwako. She is still pretty, alright... the lucky dog...'

***

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