Ch20 - Sunlight and blood in his hands 

NSFW. 

Trigger warning: rape, aphrodisiac usage, depictions of gore (unrelated to previous scene). Please do not proceed if you are uncomfortable with these themes.  

I dreamt of that cat again.

Ginger all over, it would circle around Sheng Min Ou’s feet and meow cutely… that cat.

As I walked up the stairs and came to a dimly lit corridor, a ray of sunlight spilled from a small window at the end of the hallway, becoming its only source of light.

Most of the doors were firmly shut, and around this time most of the residents still hadn’t returned home yet. 

The soles of my shoes scraped across the cement as I stopped in front of the third door to the right side of the corridor. The door that should have also been tightly closed revealed a small slit into the room, as bright rays of light leaked from within, forming a coruscating beam of white against the darkened surface of the ground.

Perhaps in the morning Sheng Min Ou had left in too much of a hurry, so he didn’t notice that he left the door unlocked. With this thought in mind, I reached a hand out to the door handle, and gently pushed against it to reveal the room.

Inside, the room was scrupulously clean as always, and the thin white curtains blew gently with the breeze. I noticed a strange smell carried by the wind, it reeked of fish being left out for too long, and this scent had me unwittingly creasing my brows.

After searching all over the place, I quickly found the source of the scent – it was a white gift box left on Sheng Min Ou’s bed.

The gift box wasn’t too bulky or too small, it was at a size where a cake with a diameter of thirty centimetres would fit perfectly. The box was wrapped with a cutesy, satin pink ribbon and there was a delicate little card left on top.

I know I shouldn’t have looked at it. Back then I had already figured out my feelings for Sheng Min Ou, however I knew Sheng Min Ou only saw me as a clingy and slightly annoying foster brother that grew up with him and had no blood relation to him whatsoever.

He had the right to socialise and meet anyone he wanted, and he had the rights to like whoever he wanted to. Therefore, it was also perfectly within his rights to be pursued romantically by someone else.

This was a normal thing, it was unavoidable. I told myself this, repeating the same phrase over and over again under my breath. However, a strong sense of possessiveness clouded my logical thoughts, resulting in my actions contradicting with my words, as I still ended up picking up that card and opening it up. 

‘It seemed like you really liked it.’ 

The handwriting on the card was almost illegible and looked like wild splatters of ink on a page, with the message being signed off with one word, ‘Yang’.

Qi Yang. Almost instantly, I thought of him.

I threw away the card and clenched my teeth as I untied the pink ribbon that had been carefully done up in a perfect bow. 

I was going to find out what the hell he was up to!

The satin ribbon unfurled and I took a deep breath, opening the lid of the box with both hands.

Before this point, I had imagined several things could be in the box. Books, flowers, or expensive designer items, they all seemed like gifts that were appropriate for Sheng Min Ou.

I never expected to find a dead cat inside. 

It was tiny, its frail, weakened body curled up within the box, its stomach having been ripped open and disemboweled with a knife. The cat’s murky eyes were still half opened, it’s long tongue crooked as a bit poked out from its mouth. I had no idea how long it had been dead for, but the unexplainable stench from before was the rotting, decomposing scent from its corpse.

The impact of this scene on me could not be understated more. I stood there transfixed, because of the sheer shock I received from the sight I witnessed, my whole body was rigid, and I was unable to move.

The organs that were still slick with blood were littered within the box and they filled up my vision, prickling at each nerve that took in the sight.

It was so triggering that sharp cramps formed in my stomach. 

Against my will, the sight of this cat overlapped with the image of my father when he had horrifically passed away back when I was ten years old.

At the funeral, the adults were whispering amongst themselves, their tone laced with pity as they remarked, “It’s truly unfortunate, I heard that his whole lower half of the body had been obliterated, and the guts and intestines were poured across the floor.”

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

“By the time he got to the hospital, the doctor took one glance and already confirmed that he didn’t have much time left. It’s a pity, he still had two sons, the younger one is still only ten years old.”

“Tbe ralii vbc’a xcbk? Ktf bivfg bcf vbfrc’a tjnf jcs yibbv gfijalbc klat atf ojwlis, tf’r jvbqafv ogbw atf bgqtjcjuf. Coafg yflcu qgfucjca klat atf sbecu bcf, Wljcu Ulcu kjcafv ab ajxf tlw yjmx, yea Yiv Oe cfnfg gfifcafv. Rbk ibbx, tf’r ifoa Wljcu Ulcu ab gjlrf akb rbcr jibcf, tbk jgf atfs fnfg ublcu ab wjcjuf…” 

“That’s true, even if she tried to re-marry it would be hard, they really only have themselves to blame…”

In the transparent coffin father was covered up by a cheap bouquet of flowers, and on his body lay a vibrant, red cotton blanket. His pale features still appeared lively, and his complexion seemed even better than what it looked like when he had been alive.

I stared at that familiar yet alien face and heard the relentless gossiping from people talking about business that wasn’t theirs. Unsettled, I glanced at Sheng Min Ou who was by my side, and quietly slipped my hand into his.

He tilted his head to take a look at me. Usually he would have shaken off my hand but it was only in that moment that he allowed me to grab onto him without making another move. 

The sudden, unexpected death, the horrifyingly gruesome scene, even the viscous liquids that seeped through the box, it reminded me of the puddle of blood that leaked from my father’s hospital bed.

I didn’t need to see my reflection to know that the look on my face must have been terrifying, and for a few seconds, I didn’t even realise that I had stopped breathing.

It was at this moment that the scene in front of me turned dark, as a pair of slightly cold hands came from behind me and covered up my eyes.

In an instant, goosebumps erupted from the back of my neck and my heartbeat spiked. I almost dropped the lid of the box that I was holding and started to instinctively fight back, like a cat that had it’s tail stepped on. 

“It’s me.”

It was just two short words, uttered in a pace that wasn’t rushed or spoken too slowly, and it even was absent of any strong emotion, but it stopped me from thrashing around immediately.

“Ge?” 

In the darkness, my heart which had felt too tight for my chest suddenly seemed to be able to relax again. The clean scent of soap mixed with a trace of disinfectant lingering in Sheng Min Ou’s fingers seemed to displace the smell of the rotting corpse, and successfully calmed down the frenzied, erratic beating of my heart.

My fingertips traced at the hands, but I didn’t even get time to confirm anything else when in the next instant, the hand hooked me back and continued pressing on my eyes as my whole body was dragged back towards the door.

“Stay outside.”

Slightly disoriented, I spun in a circle and waited for the hands to lift from my eyes, when I realised that I was already far away from the bed, and was now facing the door of the apartment. 

“Ge…”

I turned around and looked towards him. Sheng Min Ou had his back facing me, his tall, wide build completely covering the gift box laying on the bed.

“Get out.” Sheng Min Ou instructed, without even turning his head to look my way, his tone leaving no room for any objections.

I pressed my lips together, and backed out the door. 

In your teens, it was the time when you were the most reckless, never learning from any of the incidents that happened. Although I had just been terrified to the extent that my hands were still covered in cold sweat, and I had cursed Qi Yang that psychopath thousands of times in my mind already, but after standing in that corridor for a while, I couldn’t resist the curiosity and the need to understand in my heart. Through the crack in the door, I quietly took a peek again at the scene within the room.

Sheng Min Ou lowered his body to pick up the box on his bed. As his back was facing the door, I was unable to see his expression, but it was evident that he was not terrified at the gift. Unlike me, he did not appear shocked at all to find a dead cat on his bed, as from beginning to end he remained so resolutely calm that it was unnerving.

He seemed to want to place the lid back on the box again, but just as he was in the process of doing so, he suddenly stopped, maintaining his pose without moving, just like a tape machine that suddenly froze while playing a cassette.

His shoulders were trembling, and through the silence, I thought I could hear rough breathing sounds. 

He seemed to be suppressing something, pushing back on it, and as he was torn between this stalemate, he seemed to be able to arrive at a conclusion.

The tape started playing again as he moved once more, placing the lid to one side, then stooped down as he placed both hands into the box.

From my angle I could only make out that his hands seemed to always be moving, but I couldn’t see what exactly he was doing.

This behaviour was truthfully abnormal to me, and anxiety filled my heart as I became more desperate than before to know what was going on. 

Just when I wanted to push the door further so I could widen the slit where I peeked, Sheng Min Ou straightened his back, shifted his body slightly and placed his hands, which were covered in blood all over, into the sunlight.

His long, slender hands rotated under the sun as he examined the scene of sunlight and blood in his hands, his eyes lit ablaze in unconcealed, maniacal joy.

Despite clearly standing under the sun, he seemed to be shrouded in a cloud of darkness that no one could get past.

My chest returned to the tightness I had felt previously, and before he could catch me looking at him I hurriedly retrieved my gaze and pressed my back against the wall, breathing heavily as I gulped. 

I thought back to the photos which were tucked in the book, and remembered Qi Yang’s bizarre words and phrases. I even thought back to when my father died, the puddle of blood that was by Sheng Min Ou’s feet…

At that moment, I suddenly came to a realisation. Killing the cat wasn’t Qi Yang threatening Sheng Min Ou or making a demand, it was a present for him, it was to appease, to please.

It was as Qi Yang had said, he knew what Sheng Min Ou liked.

“…Your eyes look like those of a wolf’s, it’s untameable.” 

“This is a place where you can scream as much as you want…”

“Help me….”

“Are you going to kill me?”

“…Your eyes look like those of a wolf’s, it’s untameable.” 

…..

“This is a place where you can scream as much as you want…”

…..

“…Your eyes look like those of a wolf’s, it’s untameable.” 

…..

“Are you going to kill me?”

…..

“Help me….” 

The ringing by my ears were conversations that were endlessly looped on repeat, it felt as if I had heard of it before, but no matter how I tried I couldn’t remember what it was about.

Lost and in a daze, I started searching for the origins of the sound, the black corridor becoming twisted and distorted in front of me, shifting into a vortex, sucking me into scorching lava.

I let out a painful scream, my body becoming ignited by flames, the skin of my body melting from the blistering heat.

It was too hot, so hot that I was going to go crazy, like a lost fly buzzing around seeking for the one thing that was going to be the antidote. Desperate, I dashed around blind and continued running into walls. 

Just when I thought I was going to be devoured by the flames, a vast expanse of the ocean suddenly appeared in front of me, its waves a rich ultramarine blue, the coolness mesmerizing and addicting. I didn’t give it a second thought as I dived headfirst into it.

The fire was quickly extinguished as I floated on the surface of the water. I took a deep breath, and the waves started getting bigger and bigger, the force of it continuously slamming into me, threatening to make my whole frame fall apart.

The swaying of the waves….

The soreness of my muscles… 

I opened my eyes, and in front of me was total darkness, something had covered up my eyes.

I tried hesitatingly to take off whatever was wrapped around my eyes, but I found that both my hands were bound together, and even more damning was the fact that each of my feet were also constrained to something.

My hands were tied together, my legs were apart. I was forced to remain in a position where I was half kneeling and half laying down as I was tied to something… it seemed like it was a bed.

From behind me came the relentless sounds of strong, continuous pounding, each time it happened it incited my rage, slowly chipping away and inflicting more damage on the dignity I had as a man. 

In this type of situation, I could figure out what was happening to me even if I used my kneecaps to think.

“You son… of a bitch….” I cursed in a hoarse voice, my voice dying out at moments beyond my control, “You’re despicable, you, nngh, let go of me…..”

The man behind me didn’t seem to be frightened seeing that I had woken up, insead, his actions towards me became even more rough and merciless.

The hand at my waist tightened, as if he was laughing at my helplessness, as he lowered his body to bite at the side of my neck, cruel and ruthless like a wild beast tearing at the skin and flesh of its prey. 

I let out a stifled grunt in response to the pain, and bit tight on my lips, not allowing myself to let out any embarrassing sounds.

A liquid trickled down from my neck and I had no doubt it was blood that had seeped out from the wound he inflicted.

“You… fucker…. Don’t ever let me find out who you are…..”

My forehead fell to where my wrists were both tied together, as my body continued shaking and trembling. Luo Zheng Yun’s injection made my conscience feel heavy and my body soft all over, as I couldn’t summon an ounce of strength. Despite this, I could feel the searing heat all over, as each part of my body became sensitive to a degree I had never experienced. 

Even the most miniscule amount of friction between my body and the bedsheets would elicit a painful ache that was hard to suppress.

“I will…. ahh.. kill you…..” Though the intention behind my words were overflowing with malice, when I heard the words that came out of my mouth, even I thought they lacked resolute strength behind it, as it appeared soft and weak instead. It didn’t sound like a warning that someone was going to be killed, but rather it came out like a flirty phrase said on the bed.

The man who was violating me did not say a single word from beginning to end, only when I was cursing at him using extremely foul words did he suddenly thrust into the deepest parts of my body, like a punishment, as he forced me to break my silence, relishing in the sounds I made.

The more pleasure my body received, the more ashamed my mind was. 

If I had a knife in my hands, I would unhesitatingly stab it into the man behind me, then dice up his body into mince and feed it to the dogs.

The muscles in my thighs continued trembling, and if it wasn’t for the man forcibly holding me up, I would have immediately fallen face flat onto the bed.

I started regretting waking up in the middle of this, even him violating me whilst I was unconscious was better than the limbo I suffered, torn between mind and body.

As the temperature on my body continued rising, all traces of logic started disappearing. I thought I was going crazy, drowning in the tormenting ecstasy as wave after wave washed over me. 

My silence which I had held on for so long finally shattered as I started pleading against my wishes.

“Don’t…” I straightened my chest, my body still arched upwards, as I wanted to prop myself up, but I was only halfway to getting up when a fierce, thundering wave hit me with the force of a tsunami, as I plummeted and crashed back down into the bedsheets.

The intense, repeated assaults were unbearable as it sucked all my mental and physical strength. I let out light, trembling breaths as I was lost in the swamp of darkness, my mouth forming the same shapes and I continued muttering and repeating the same phrase.

“I’ll kill you…. Bastard….” 

Yet the man behind me simply traced my sweat soaked spine from top to bottom, then with a choking hold grabbed onto the back of my neck as he started assaulting me again, completely unphased.

I will fucking rip this bastard to shreds.

At the end of my consciousness, this was my last remaining thought.