Ch55 - My darling

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I spent several days calming myself down as I refrained from going to find Sheng Min Ou and even changed his name on my phone to “Do Not Touch”. 

The truth was unexpected but I wasn’t wholly angered over it. Rather, I just needed some time to digest all this information.

Moreover, no matter what Sheng Min Ou did back then, now that the situation had passed, what good was it for me to remain angry in retrospect? Sheng Min Ou was the type of person where even if I did expose him, he wouldn’t bat an eye at me.

And to be precise, I wasn’t angry, I was afraid.

I knew that this world was not all that important to him, and all the living beings which currently existed weren’t anything of significance in his eyes. If he felt like it was necessary, then he would be able to leave everything behind without any semblance of hesitation. He did not revere death, so naturally he would not feel guilt towards the people he left behind, let alone think about what a world without him would mean to me. 

In pursuit of just one trace of happiness, people were able to exhibit extraordinary perseverance. Sheng Min Ou was my hint of happiness.

With him, no matter how arduous things became, I would still be able to endure and get through it. Even if I landed in hell, I would be able to climb my way up. However, if I ended up losing him, then this world would consist only of hardship, no longer as important to me, and no longer as special.

How could one not be afraid to live in a world that was filled only with bitterness?

A few days later Saturday came around, and it was the day of Xiao Sui Guang’s banquet. Zheng Mi Mi had told me to just dress casually as it was a family dinner after all. Therefore, I wore a T-shirt, slipped on some jeans and headed straight there. She stood outside the main gates and had been waiting for me since early in the morning for us to go in together. She had also carefully prepared a bottle of red wine for me to bring as a gift.

I held the bottle of red wine in my arms as I knocked on the door of the Xiao household and was led inside by the housekeeper. I was brought to a compact yet warm reception room. Before I could even get a word out to praise the decor, my eyes fell on Sheng Min Ou, who was ensconced in a leather sofa.

The smile on my face instantly froze, as I turned to Zheng Mi Mi adjacent to me, forcing a pleasant facade as I questioned her on why she hadn’t let me know that Sheng Min Ou would also be present.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Zheng Mi Mi was even more surprised than I was, as she replied with a whisper that only the two of us could hear, “I have no idea, my uncle didn’t tell me that he would be here.”

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Sheng Min Ou was on the sofa there. Before we came in, he seemed to be conversing with Xiao Sui Guang. His posture appeared rather casual, a hand propped on his forehead, an elbow resting on the armrest of the sofa, and a glass of whiskey in his other hand, complete with a spherical ice ball in the drink. Hearing the commotion, he cast his gaze towards the door. As Xiao Sui Guang joked, his gaze lightly swept past Zheng Mi Mi and myself, pausing on our arms, which were interlinked together.

“Young people always have an endless amount of topics to talk about.” He looked straight at me as he smiled, “It’s understandable.”

I jerked my hand away from Zheng Mi Mi in an instant, my words tripping over themselves, “A-Ah, what an embarrassing thing for Mr Sheng to witness.” 

Sheng Min Ou didn’t reply as Xiao Sui Guang’s smile deepened, before he added more oil to the fire. “Ai, look, he’s getting shy now.”

If this was a martial arts movie, I could’ve spit out a liter of blood right about now.

Zheng Mi Mi quickly sat down next to him, laying on an act of being angry as she spoke, “Alright, uncle, don’t make fun of us. By the way, where’s my cousin, how come I haven’t seen her around?”

“Don’t mention her, she came back utterly inebriated last night, and ended up leaving early in the morning.” Xiao Sui Guang replied, sighing incessantly now that he was speaking of his only daughter. 

I moved to Sheng Min Ou and sat next to him in silence, not daring to get too close, as I left about half an arm’s distance in between us. Later, during our subsequent conversation, he didn’t even spare a glance at me. From beginning to end he only responded to Xiao Sui Guang and Zheng Mi Mi’s words, as if I was just plain air to him.

I felt as if I was a fish out of water, frantic and uncomfortable. Several times I was tempted to quietly lean over and initiate some small movements, but then I became afraid that the two people opposite me would catch on, as my frustration became almost palpable.

I couldn’t tell whether God was making a joke out of me right now. How was it that every time without fail, regardless of whether the other person was the same or opposite sex, each time that a situation which could be misinterpreted arose, Sheng Min Ou was always there to witness it? First Mo Qiu, then Shen Xiao Shi, and now Zheng Mi Mi!

I found the soulless conversation to be increasingly onerous to endure, and after roughly half an hour later, a servant came by and let us know that dinner had been served, as we moved to the dining room. 

“Apologies, I’ll be one second, just going to the bathroom.” Sheng Min Ou gave me a barely discernible glance, before he turned and left.

“I need to go too!”

I seized the opportunity to keep up with him, as I trailed after him, following the twists and turns as we came to a rather remote bathroom. After he entered, I rushed in after him, as I locked the door.

“Ge, I can explain…” I took the chance to make my move first as I embraced him tightly from behind, pressing my cheeks close to his back, as I spoke coquettishly, “There really is nothing going on between Zheng Mi Mi and myself, my heart only has you, you and you alone. My body even still smells like you, can you smell it?” 

Ever since I had gotten my hands on Sheng Min Ou’s cologne, I spritzed it on me every day, in the closet, on the bed, and even more on my body.

Sheng Min Ou stopped in his tracks and remained stationary, but his voice was cold as he said,

“It has nothing to do with me, let go.”

Last time he had smiled whilst congratulating me, then later that night I was gagged by a tie and I almost died on his bed. This time, if I believed him when he said that nothing mattered, then I would truly be a fool. 

“My darling, my baby, my wonderful ge ge, in this life I will only ever love you. The situation with Zheng Mi Mi right now, it’s all an act. I’d promised her that I’d act as her pretend boyfriend for the last time, it’s not like I could just go ahead and break my promise.” I didn’t feel shame in being sappy, as I turned up my sweet talking charms to the max, “My heart has always belonged to you, if you don’t believe it why don’t you check for yourself?”

I turned to face him and grabbed his hand as I pressed it against my chest.

Sheng Min Ou frowned, his fingertips brushing against my shirt for a split second before he suddenly jerked his arm back.

“I told you already, it has nothing to do with me.” 

He stepped past me as he approached the basin and leaned slightly over it, pumping the hand wash as he scrubbed his hands so meticulously it was as if he was about to perform surgery.

I guess he really came to wash his hands.

I sighed inwardly, crossing my hands in front of my chest as I leaned against the wall and looked at him.

“Ge, I haven’t bothered you these past few days, nor have I called you to harass you. Did you miss me?” 

He turned the tap on to rinse off all the foam on his hands, then took a wet towel from the side as he dried off.

“What do you think?”

“I think you missed me.”

He directed his gaze at me from the reflection in the mirror, his lips curled up derisively, however he did not reply with any antagonising words. 

Looking at him in the mirror I was moved by an urge to suddenly ask a question as the words left my mouth, “Ge, if one day I suddenly died, would you grieve for me?” After I had done so, I felt like I was being unreasonable, since I was forcing him to give a rather obvious answer.

I lowered my eyes as I laughed at myself, “Forget it, there’s no need to answer.”

Sheng Min Ou brushed past me as he moved towards the bathroom door, stirring up a breeze as he went, as his voice drifted from behind me.

“If you’re not going to use the bathroom, then get out. Don’t leave Mr. Xiao waiting.” 

“Okay…” I dragged out the last syllable, answering him in a lazy voice, as I pushed against the door weakly to walk out.

By the time Sheng Min Ou and I had returned to the table again, we found that someone else had joined the table. Xiao Meng was here.