Good Night, Liang Xiao

Content warnings: Suicide of a side character, suicidal thoughts

Oh.

In fact, Ye Ji’an already had a few suspicions of his own. Liang Xiao was especially popular among female colleagues and there were a few girls who were blatantly showing interest in him. They seemed to be quite suitable in all aspects, but their efforts were all for naught. Obviously, they were not his type.

Then is it me? Ye Ji’an nearly couldn’t stop himself from asking.

No, it was not “nearly couldn’t stop himself”. “Barely needed to stop himself” was more appropriate. Ye Ji’an knew that he would be unable to ask such a question after all. Even if he was on the cusp of asking that question, he would still require some form of outside influence before he would be willing to open his mouth.

Ye Ji’an felt like his heavy head was burning up but kept his lips shut. He was already a veteran at preventing himself from saying inappropriate things.

Then, he heard Liang Xiao speak again. 

“But I don’t plan on confessing now. I know I will definitely fail if I try.”

These words were firm and objective. It reminded Ye Ji’an of the way Liang Xiao, in the past, used to methodically analyze the state of the stock market every morning, standing prominently at the head of the conference table among a group of colleagues who were still sluggish from sleep.

Now, Liang Xiao’s attitude still made Ye Ji’an feel calm and relaxed, yet inexplicably, he also felt a little let down.

So what had Liang Xiao been expecting here?

Had he ever considered this before?

And did it have any relation to Ye Ji’an himself?

Ye Ji’an couldn’t answer a single one of these questions.

The shoegaze CD was already playing the second half. If Ye Ji’an recalled correctly, the current song was the eighth track on the album, with the title To begin let’s get closer. The lead singer was still humming this line.

“Why aren’t you speaking anymore, Senior?” Liang Xiao raised his eyelids and asked, “Sure enough, my sexual orientation will have an impact on our relationship?”

“How could that be,” Ye Ji’an immediately smiled, almost like a fight-or-flight response. “I’m thinking about how to encourage you.”

“Senior really resembles my elder brother.” Liang Xiao also smiled, always good at making the atmosphere comfortable. “But he’s definitely not as gentle. He would scold me all the time.”

“You also have brothers at home?” Ye Ji’an was a little surprised.

“Yeah. An elder brother nine years older than me,” Liang Xiao lowered his eyes a little, then suddenly looked over again.

“He’s no longer with us. Twelve years ago, he committed suicide by jumping off a building in New York. We didn’t meet each other often. I saw him in the newspapers.”

Liang Xiao seemed very calm, so Ye Ji’an remained silent as well. He simply opened another can of beer and filled their glasses.

Although he was a person who thought on a daily basis about how to end it quickly, this moment in time seemed strangely beautiful, and he did not want to see the heavy sense of loss come crushing down onto a cloud, its weight pushing the cloud into the depths of an abyss.

So, he raised his glass silently. Liang Xiao also held up the beer in his hand. There was a perfectly gentle look on his face—Ye Ji’an was unable to see any cracks in his expression.

“It was the most difficult time in our family, but he chose to escape. I despise people who commit suicide. There are few who do not die in an ungainly manner, and it’s all their own fault.” The two cups collided with a crisp sound. “Senior, we must cherish life.”

Ye Ji’an instantly felt like he had been seen through. With dark circles under his eyes and a Redbull, he would work overtime until he was barely conscious. He wasn’t sure if he had spoken nonsense to this little brother during those occasions. 

Nonsense such as the fengshui1Fengshui is an ancient Chinese art of arranging buildings, objects, and space in an environment to achieve harmony and balanceof his future burial place that he had signed a contract with the insurance company for. Nonsense such as the mockingly high price of his mortgage, which made him tempted to hang himself.

However, Liang Xiao was now more worried about something else.

“Liang Xiao,” Ye Ji’an called out, keeping in mind that this person did not want him to call him ‘Xiao Xiao2Little Xiao’ anymore. “Are you uncomfortable?”

“What?”

“Talking about these things.”

“Just a little,” Liang Xiao replied and massaged the bridge of his nose.

“Then why are you still smiling?”

“Sorry,” Liang Xiao said, picking up a piece of omelette with his chopsticks. “I finally had a meal with Senior but I’m talking about these things.”

“Stop smiling. You’re not a front desk employee.”

Liang Xiao was stunned for a while. As expected, the smile froze on his face, as if he didn’t know what to do other than smile.

“Cry if you want to cry. It’s okay to be expressionless too.” Ye Ji’an raised his hand, propped himself up over the low coffee table, and touched Liang Xiao’s cheek. He could feel the smooth and soft skin underneath his fingertips. Only when the rubbing generated heat did Ye Ji’an realize what he was doing.

Liang Xiao’s whole body was out of sorts. For example, even the root of his neck was red. 

“Is senior drunk?”

Ye Ji’an also suddenly regained his senses and withdrew his hand. He couldn’t answer the question—he must be really drunk. He would get touchy-feely whenever he got drunk and his current victim was a rookie who worked diligently under his hands and already had someone he liked…Ye Ji’an scolded himself inwardly. 

Am I a perverted boss? What’s wrong with me?

Unexpectedly, Liang Xiao smiled again. “I really don’t have the urge to cry. If senior wants to see it, I can only act it out.”

Imitating a little bunny3Because bunnies look cute and pitiful with the use of eye drops? Forget it. 

“Maybe because I am a fragile person, I tend to cry secretly at home…” Ye Ji’an said, swallowing a mouthful of saliva. He warned himself to stop exaggerating, then explained, “Actually, what I want to say is, we are already so familiar with each other. You are also much younger than I am. There’s no need to act tough in front of me. As for office etiquette, it’s up to you to act appropriately.”

“Speaking of this matter, people in the company have already started talking about how I’m getting too close to Senior.”

“Really?”

“They say I’m eating with you very frequently.”

“Is that not the case? Do you mind?”

Liang Xiao looked a little surprised and curious. “I thought you would care about all these?”

Ye Ji’an knew what he was referring to. “I mind the tattoos because I’m afraid of being fired. What if the boss can’t stand this stuff? That chairman, who I’ve only met at major conferences, is rumoured to be someone who cares a lot about employee image—a inflexible old man. He requested the HR department to strictly screen photos, even for normal interviews.” 

After thinking about it, Ye Ji’an felt that it was not good to gossip about the boss with a junior, so he quickly changed the subject. “But the company can’t fire me for making friends with someone, right? There’s no rule against making friends.”

Liang Xiao had been holding it in for a while, and now he finally laughed with a puchi sound. He laughed harder and harder. Once he finished, he kept his head down and focused on eating the dishes. He even dared to eat the ginger slices in the beef brisket. Ye Ji’an was amazed and thought to himself that young people truly had great appetites. 

However, it was true that they had to eat quickly. After their meal, there was still a house to clean. That was the focus of the night. 

However, at just a little past eight, Ye Ji’an received a call right after opening a large cardboard box full of detective novels.

He headed to the kitchen in grief.

Liang Xiao was still washing the dishes. Twenty minutes had already passed and he had only finished washing two pieces of tableware. It was as if he had been handling cultural relics instead of dishes. The pots and pans remained untouched. Looking at Liang Xiao’s expression, it seemed that he at least knew shame. 

“Let’s leave it for now,” Ye Ji’an said, covering his face4Something similar to a facepalm. “Time to work. There’s a meeting at 10:30.”

Liang Xiao, however, looked as if he had a heavy weight taken off him. “I’ll call a cab!”

“It’s very hard to get a cab here. Where’s your Bugatti?”

“Huh?”

“Stop huh-ing, hurry up.”

“That’s a friend’s…”

“Go on, spin your tale more. I saw you in Shinkong Place5A shopping mall franchise. It’s a bright red eh. At that time, I even thought you were chasing a girl.” Ye Ji’an smiled and said earnestly, “Also, I gave it a thought just now and found something strange. You didn’t pay for this apartment with a loan, right?”

Liang Xiao looked away from the car-booking app. “I—”

“Do you have a mine at home?”6A mine at home = rich

Liang Xiao’s eyes widened. The look in his eyes could be described as terrified. “But I’m really sleepy right now and don’t have the energy to drive a car. I even drank half a glass of beer.” Now he even seemed aggrieved.

Ye Ji’an couldn’t do anything. He thought to himself: I’ve already pushed you far enough, how can I force you to be the driver? Besides, drinking and driving is definitely a bad thing. As for himself, he’d already drunk two cups and had even less qualification to touch the steering wheel. 

In a hurry, Ye Ji’an rushed back to his room and changed into a suit to avoid looking as if he had spent the night out. Grabbing on to his laptop and files, he trotted downstairs. He thought that it would be difficult to call for a car based on his usual experience.

However, this was not the case. The car that Liang Xiao had called for was already waiting for him downstairs, while Liang Xiao himself had his hands stashed in his windbreaker pocket, leisurely standing at the side. He made the little family passenger car look like a luxurious supercar. 

Seeing Ye Ji’an approach, he opened the car door for him very considerately.

“It’s been hard on you,” Ye Ji’an said to the Liang Xiao sitting beside him as soon as the car door closed. He was still busy fastening his seat belt.

“That inflexible old man is really annoying,” Liang Xiao said. Blinking, he continued, “Although he usually doesn’t care much about us, grievances still have their causes and debts still have their owners7Meaning that LX will be holding this against the chairman haha.”

“Hey, don’t bring this up after we reach the company,” Ye Ji’an said, bumping him on the shoulder.

This seemed to remind Liang Xiao of something. “Senior, you should fasten the belt too,” he insisted, holding on to the edge of the belt.

It stood to reason that wearing the seat belt was unnecessary for passengers sitting at the back row8Not sure about other countries, but in china passengers on back seats usually don’t wear seat belts. I’m pretty sure there are no rules stating that you have to wear them either. Still though, seat belts do offer some crash protection so do remember to wear them, but Ye Ji’an still followed Liang Xiao’s suggestion. Even if there was no traffic jam at night, the journey would still take at least an hour, so he turned on the computer and thought about what he might discuss later, and what the leader would ask himself. 

The driver spoke very little, and the air conditioner in the car was set to 26 degrees,9Celsius. It sounds alright, but the back row is usually hotter than the driver’s seat and doesn’t get as much cool air which made people feel dry and dizzy. Ye Ji’an stared at the screen, fighting to keep his eyelids open with sheer willpower. Suddenly, he felt his shoulders sink.

Looking down, he saw Liang Xiao’s high nose bridge, which was illuminated by the streetlights. His jet-black hair tickled his chin. Liang Xiao’s breathing was gentle and steady.

Alright, guess he got really sleepy.

Ye Ji’an tugged off his cashmere scarf and draped it over him.

For some reason, he kept doing unexpected things tonight while being in an inexplicable mood. Yet what was the point of pondering about this? Someone who lived a miserable life filled with meetings out of the blue was not qualified to think about such messy things.

When they arrived at the company, there were still more than ten minutes left before the start of the meeting. Liang Xiao even had a little “morning” grumpiness. Only after he had washed his face with cold water several times, did he regain his quick-witted and suave look. 

Fortunately, the meeting didn’t take too long and ended before twelve. On the large screen, the president of the company, who was currently overseas and in a different timezone, assigned two main tasks.

One of them was an old project that was about to be settled. It was no longer closely related to Ye Ji’an. As for the other task, it was a business trip to Moscow that was assigned to his department.

It was the project that had them in a dilemma ever since the new year started. Even after evaluating the stock, they still could not make the decision of whether to invest in it or not. This trip was meant to settle this issue once and for all. 

The secretary read out the name list in order. The company attached great importance to this trip and would dispatch six employees in total. Three of the names had already been fixed.

As the head of business operations, Ye Ji’an naturally was in that list. As per usual, Xiao Li from the general department also tagged along to settle miscellaneous tasks. As for the last one…

Ye Ji’an squinted and looked at Liang Xiao sitting diagonally across him at the corner of the conference table. In his heart, he wondered whether it was a coincidence or Heaven’s will. It was actually this guy. It turned out to be this guy—it was really this guy10Sounds a little awkward here, I wanted to keep the raw sentence structure intact, the author also repeated this twice.

TN: Poor Liang Xiao… May his brother rest in peace. On a side note, if any of you (or the people around you) are in a bad state of mind, do get help asap, whether it be therapy, spending time with loved ones, downloading an app meant for support or anything else that works for you.

1

Fengshui is an ancient Chinese art of arranging buildings, objects, and space in an environment to achieve harmony and balance

2

Little Xiao

3

Because bunnies look cute and pitiful

4

Something similar to a facepalm

5

A shopping mall franchise

6

A mine at home = rich

7

Meaning that LX will be holding this against the chairman haha

8

Not sure about other countries, but in china passengers on back seats usually don’t wear seat belts. I’m pretty sure there are no rules stating that you have to wear them either. Still though, seat belts do offer some crash protection so do remember to wear them

9

Celsius. It sounds alright, but the back row is usually hotter than the driver’s seat and doesn’t get as much cool air

10

Sounds a little awkward here, I wanted to keep the raw sentence structure intact, the author also repeated this twice