How To Say I Love You

“Jie Ge, I just want to rely on my own efforts to fight for something. I can’t always rely on you, I am a man too.” Lin Le Yang finally said the words buried deep in his heart. He didn’t want to be a little white face[1], neither did he want to live in Ji Ge’s shadow for a lifetime. He wanted to stand beside him, shoulder to shoulder.

Ji Mian sneered and said mercilessly, “You don’t want to rely on me, but how did you go to college, pay tuition, enter the entertainment industry, acting in the film? You are my partner, is it so wrong to want to provide you with the best living conditions? You resist my help while accepting it. Do you think me as such a hard-pressed person, you are determined on paying me back but eventually end up using my funds? You are my artist, I want to offer you the best resources and advanced platform, right? You don’t want to enjoy my resources instead you seek development outside. You want to have your cake and eat it too. Lin Le Yang, think about it yourself. In public and private, what could I do to wrong you? And how do you repay me? If you really think that I have restricted you and made you not live like a man. You should not have signed into my company at the beginning. You could have entered the entertainment circle with your own strength.”

Lin Le Yang turned to look at him, his face was full of disbelief. Was it really Ji Ge who said these words? He had never been so cold, so mean, so unfeeling to him!

Ji Mian didn’t even look at him and continued. “Every word I said to you, you promised on the surface, but forget once you turn your head. I let you focus, let you feel at ease so that you do nothing except giving it your all in scenes. I have given you everything I could, and considered all I could take into account, but what about you? What did you give back to me? Alienation, suspicion, even resistance. Lin Le Yang, what do you want me to do?”

Lin Le Yang suddenly realized that Ji Ge must be so angry that he would say these words. If there was no Fang Kun and Xiao Jiashu today, Ji Ge may have found him in a hotel room, and the picture of that scene would be extremely unbearable. He was frightened, angry and terrified so he lost control of his temper.

“I am sorry, Ji Ge, I know am in the wrong. I will not go to a party again in the future. I will honestly stay home after filming. I don’t want you to do anything, I just want to be with you.” He choked.

Ji Mian gave him a deep look, “You have just admitted to a lot of mistakes. However, you can’t answer my question, can you? Then I will tell you what you really want. You want me to provide you with the best of everything, yet you don’t want me to control and interfere with you. You are enjoying my attention, but you are making any progress. You want to stand on the same height as me not to consolidate our feelings, but to maintain your ridiculous dignity. Lin Le Yang, I have never insulted you. I have always placed you in on an equal footing. You are looking at yourself. Dignity is indeed important, but it is too when it becomes about self-esteem. Is this not a manifestation of inferiority?”

He parked the car downstairs of the apartment and said tiredly. “Let’s go back, maybe we were to fast at the beginning of the relationship, and now we should slow down a bit.”

“What do you mean Ji Ge? You want to break up with me?” Lin Le Yang panicked and refused to get off the car. “Please give me another chance. I really love you, not for your money and status. It’s precisely because of this that I can’t comfortably enjoy everything you have brought me, that I did so many wrong things. Isn’t it possible that UI will listen to you from now on?”

Ji Mian rubbed his forehead, “Then if I say you should fire Chen Pengxin, will you?”

Lin Le Yang froze, as he thought about it for a while. “Jie Ge, except for this, I promise you everything else. Just as you can’t forget the kindness of Mr Xiu, so do I. He didn’t know about Ding Zhen, otherwise, he would never have knowingly pushed me into the fire pit. If I turn around and throw him away after I develop, Ji Ge won’t this feel cold?”

Ji Mian stared at him for a while, waving his hand, “It’s up to you.”

“Jie Ge, I don’t want to be here tonight, will you take me to your house?” Lin Le Yang used his killer move. Even if he was killed by Ji Ge in bed, he would not break up with him.

Ji Mian held the steering wheel tightly with one hand, the other on his forehead, the handsome face shrouded in the shadow. After a while, he muttered, “I don’t want to break up with you, just want to let you adjust your mind. If you are always so sensitive or resistant, we won’t last. The problem is with you, not with me.”

“I know, so I have been adjusting.” But Lin Le Yang’s so-called adjustment referred to sexual orientation, not mentality. He thought that he was covering it up very well, and Ji Ge could not see it.

“It’s good that you adjust as soon as possible. If you can’t, I won’t force you.” Ji Mian was really worn-out, and once again told him, “Go back first, I haven’t been in the mood recently.”

Lin Le Yang stared at him for a long time, to make sure he was not angry and didn’t want to break up. Afterwards, he exited the car.

  [1] Little white face = pretty boy/gigolo, usually derogatory.