I and My Husband Sleep in a Coffin

Wen Feng Jin was flipping through the antique books one by one. As he reached a certain point, his fingers froze for a second and there was a slight change in his expression which he immediately covered up. He picked up another one and said to Baiyu, “These books are incomplete. There is a date and numerical order written on the last page of each one.”

“You should have a total of thirty-one books, there are only seventeen here.”

“What? There are so many missing?” Baiyu picked up a book and turned to the last page but realized that the date and number mentioned were all written in special characters which he had initially thought were the author’s signature.

“If you couldn’t understand the words, how did you manage to practice your crafts?”

The black-as-charcoal Da Bai flashed his white teeth and smiled proudly, “I guessed of course!”

Wang Xiao Mie thought to himself, it must’ve been hard growing up.

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“Oh right, Feng Jin, since you can understand what’s written, is there any mention of the weapons?” Wang Xiao Mie leaned over to have a look.

Wen Feng Jin rolled up the book and gently tapped on Wang Xiao Mie’s head, “Only several materials were listed and the rest of the notes are written in special texts. By the way, I saw that you kept rubbing your neck.”

A sturdy and cold hand pinched the back of Wang Xiao Mie’s neck like the act of carrying a kitten and began rubbing, “Does it hurt here?”

“Wa!” Wang Xiao Mie screeched and reached backward to push Wen Feng Jin’s hand away. “Stop pinching, it hurts! it’s probably just a stiff neck.” 

A smile was hidden in Wen Feng Jin’s eyes as he let go of his hand and placed the book back into the box.

At that moment, a loud bang erupted from the living window. Something that resembled a large bat was plastered to the windowpane, staring at them with unblinking eyes!

“F*ck!” Wang Xiao Mie and Baiyu screamed in unison.

They jumped in shock and Wang Xiao Mie frantically leaped into Wen Feng Jin’s arms. While Baiyu wanted to do the same, he realized there was no place for him and could only hug the box of books on the floor.

Grandpa, watch over me!

Cloaked in dark clothing with a head of greasy hair, the face pressed forcefully against the glass. Its body twisted in a deformed manner as it tried to fit into the window, blocking out the light and dimming the room.

The two frightened pups shivered as the figure continued to watch them without making any movements. The black eyes rumbled in its sockets like the sound of glass marbles colliding. 

After he decided to take a peek, Wang Xiao Mie realized that the thing was staring straight at him while slowly pulling up a smile…

Oh mother!!! 

Wang Xiao Mie swallowed his saliva in fear. Wen Feng Jin was hugging him tightly with one hand while also staring back at the creature which was now grinning broadly at him. Wen Feng Jin responded with an ice-cold smirk.

Feeling a little braver, Wang Xiao Mie asked optimistically, “Da Bai! Da Bai! Look, why isn’t he moving? Could he be a tenant upstairs who accidentally fell down?”

Baiyu was almost in tears, “I live on the top floor! How can anyone be living above me!”

“…” Wang Xiao Mie made another guess, “Say, could this be some kind of Spiderman cosplay?”

“… I have never seen anyone doing things like this to cosplay Spiderman…” Baiyu took a closer look at the ‘oversized bat’ and his whole body shivered intensely, “B, b, but look. C, c, can you see what he’s holding? Doesn’t it look like my grandfather’s book?”

Wang Xiao Mie took a quick peek, “Nope, it doesn’t look like it…”

Baiyu was relieved, “Oh, that’s good…”

Wang Xiao Mie facepalmed, “…Because it is it!”

Baiyu instantly changed his expression. He stared back at the figure angrily and scolded, “No wonder I felt that there were too many missing! So they were stolen by you, you thieving scum!”

The ghastly figure turned to look at him and Baiyu’s spunky attitude was hastily withdrawn. His voice turned timid as he shrunk back behind the box.

At this point, Wen Feng Jin had begun to move.

It had to be said that his family’s Xiao Wenzi is indeed worthy of being called a big boss. After all, he was someone who had raised a group of monsters and even had the nerve to call them cute.

Seeing that Wang Xiao Mie was no longer scared, Wen Feng Jin carefully placed him behind himself and stepped towards the window.

When it saw Wen Feng Jin approaching, the strange creature broadened its grin and cast a provocative look before letting go of its grip and dropped down.

This is the sixth floor!

Biayu and Wang Xiao Mie were shocked by its actions.

“Xiao Wenzi!” Wang Xiao Mie called out to Wen Feng Jin.

“It’s ok, I’ll be back soon.” Wen Feng Jin turned and walked towards the window. His hair fluttered as he opened the window and jumped down.

Wang Xiao Mie nervously approached the window and looked down. Baiyu was most likely impoverished and could only rent a place in the most dilapidated part of the city. The buildings were close together and the majority of them were falling apart, causing the narrow alleyways to be clogged up with debris.

The strange figure was like a ninja, fluttering as a feather between buildings. Wen Feng Jin was hot on his tail and after a while, they entered an alley and disappeared from sight.

Baiyu watched with Wang Xiao Mie and exclaimed, “My God, those two can fly! Now what do we do?”

“What can we do other than wait?” Wang Xiao Mie frowned with worry. He tilted his head and the discomfort in his neck reemerged.

…..

In the circuitous and dirty alleyway, the figure on the run suddenly stopped in his tracks. As though being pulled by something, he dived head down into a pile of garbage bags.

The descended figure got up from the ground with unbroken limbs. He leaned against the wall and looked up at the sky. 

Seconds later, Wen Feng Jin landed from above. He squinted at the figure and said, “Not running anymore? Give me the book and tell me where’s the person who ordered you to steal it.”

The person in the corner stretched his lips into a wide grin. He clearly resembled a human being but there was a sense of abnormality.

Wen Feng Jin saw through him and frowned, “Looks like it’s pointless no matter what I say to you, a lowly product under someone else’s control.”

Wen Feng Jin disappeared from where he was standing and the man immediately assumed a defensive stance.

Invisible projectiles violently struck at his raised arms. However, the sound it made was not the piercing of flesh but of wood being cut. 

The two then engaged in a speedy battle. Wen Feng Jin’s every strike was quick and brutal! Finally, he attacked with one powerful slash that could fell a tree. The man bent his knees under the pressure but he managed to deflect his sword with both hands. Even so, his body’s movements had become heavily restricted.

Ten claws rushed ferociously at Wen Feng Jin which he managed to dodge while using one leg to kick the other party into the wall.

The rumbling noise of things crashing was heard. The man struggling to get up had his head restrained by Wen Feng Jin.

The sharp claws were aimed at Wen Feng Jin’s thigh this time but before it could act, a distinct sound erupted from the body; it was the sound of wood breaking.

The headless body slumped back onto the floor. Wen Feng Jin had a faint smile on his face as he raised the head to his eye level. Two pairs of eyes stared straight at each other but the one without a body was still eerily grinning! There was not a drop of blood on the broken body, only a few strands of straw were seen falling out.

Wen Feng Jin crushed the wooden head in his hand and dropped the remnants to the ground. He then bent to retrieve the stolen book from the motionless body.

Flipping open the book, Wen Feng Jin’s pupils constricted into a straight line!

The pages were blank. This was a diversion! No one was stealing those books, they were probably missing from the beginning!

“Xiao Mie!” Wen Feng Jin clenched his fists and his eyes turned bloodshot. He hurriedly turned and rushed back…

…

After watching Wen Feng Jin jump out of the window, Wang Xiao Mie sat back on a chair in the living room and rubbed his neck. Baiyu had just finished packing up the box when he noticed his discomfort and said, “Wait here. I’ll go get two cans of cold beer. Maybe you’ll feel better after applying it to your neck.”

“Ok, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Baiyu laughed and went to fetch the beer from his refrigerator. 

Just then, there was a knock on the door. 

Baiyu was about to move when Wang Xiao Mie waved his hand, “I’ll open it. It’s probably Feng Jin.”

“Ok.” Baiyu did not give it much thought. The only other people who would knock on his door would be the bill collectors or his landlord. 

Wang Xiao Mie got up from the chair and went to open the door. Outside stood a woman whose lowered head was swaying slowly. She was wearing a purple silk nightdress and seemingly without undergarments. Wang Xiao Mie looked up and dared not let his eyes wander.

“Hi there, pretty, what can I do for you?”

“Ring…” the woman muttered. She staggered like a drunkard and raised the back of her hand for Wang Xiao Mie to see, “This… ring… has the word ‘Bai’… is it yours?”

Wang Xiao Mie saw the ring on her finger and shouted to the kitchen, “Da Bai! There’s a pretty girl wearing a gold ring with the word ‘Bai’ asking if it’s yours!”

Da Bia laughed, “Haha, I’m poor almost to the point of having to eat dirt, how could I own a gold ring… What the!”

Baiyu abruptly changed his tone, “Get away from her!”

“What?” The moment Wang Xiao Mie turned his head, the woman at the door rushed at him, plunging him over quite a distance!

“Ah!” Wang Xiao Mie covered his head in pain. Just as he was about to get up, the woman with the crazed expression on her face picked up a pillow on the sofa and pressed it over his face.

“How dare you neglect me! How dare you ignore my texts! I will kill you!”

This erratic person was Li Man Man who had previously picked up the ring. She was now wearing a semi-transparent nightdress and sitting on the struggling Wang Xiao Mie. She had an iron grip on the pillow and was suffocating him to death.

With his sight covered in darkness and his breathing blocked, the pain caused by the pillow brushing against his skin was maximized. 

Wang Xiao Mie panicked. Human instincts prompted him to use his hands and shove her away. It did not matter if it was a woman, it was important to survive!

At the same time, Baiyu was rushing over and stood behind her. But looking at her skimpy nightdress, he wavered with where it would be appropriate to place his hands.

Forget it! Baiyu closed his eyes and clenched his teeth as he reached under her arms and tried to pull her away.

But who knew that the woman who seemed so delicate was impossible to budge. Baiyu used up all the strength from the milk he had consumed but still could not move her. At this point, Wang Xiao Mie, being pressed under the pillow, had stopped moving…

!!!

Baiyu’s eyes widened and he cowered on the floor: It’s the end, he’s not moving… 

As he thought of the worst, the motionless Wang Xiao Mie suddenly grabbed his ankle!

“Woah woah woah!”

“Woah my ass!”

Wang Xiao Mie, who laid under the crazy woman, bent his knees and violently pushed her away. After getting up from the ground, he looked at her with vigilance!

Seeing him alive, Baiyu shouted joyously, “You’re incredible! A normal person would’ve been dead by now!”

That’s right, a normal person would have suffocated by now. 

But…

Wang Xiao Mie who had been smothered suddenly remembered one important point.

He’s a dumpling! They don’t need to breathe!

I must’ve filled my brain with water when I washed my face this morning.

As Wang Xiao Mie came to this realization, the woman rose up and charged at him screaming, “I’ll kill you!”

Wang Xiao Mie and Baiyu: Damn! Here she comes again!