I and My Husband Sleep in a Coffin

Chapter 52 Believe it or not, I’ll hatch eggs for you!

‘Clomp clomp clomp!’

‘Clomp clomp clomp!’

The sound of running came from the stairs, which were approaching quickly from afar. Wen Fengjin frowned and looked at the door as he changed into his nightgown and prepared to lie in the coffin.

The door swung open the following second, and a wet and slick dumb guy stepped into Wen Fengjin's line of sight. The fool’s eyes were wide open and his hair was sticking out randomly as he shouted in panic and horror.

"Xiao Wenzi! I’m growing hairy!"

"..." For a brief period, Wen Fengjin remained quiet, his long and narrow deep eyes slowly dropping, tracing the water drops running down from the pink fruit over the smooth belly to the sunken navel.

They eventually landed on the little thing, which was likewise dripping wet and dangling a little due to racing...

"Yeah." Wen Fengjin observed, "It's long and looks beautiful."

{WXM says "我长毛了" The word 长 can mean chang: long and also zhang: head; grow; increase. 毛=hair}

Wang Xiaomie, who was terrified enough to turn into a hamster, was taken aback when he noticed Wen Fengjin's gaze. He lowered his head and noticed his little brother shivering from the chill caused by the air conditioner.

"..."

"Ah~!" Wang Xiaomie's face flushed, and he reached for the nightgown draped on the chair next to him, putting it on regardless of whether he was wet or not. He'd simply hurried out, his mind blank from fear, and had completely forgotten to put on his bathrobe!

Wang Xiaomie, who had flown into a rage due to embarrassment, cried after wrapping up the clothing, "I'm not talking about that hair! It's my chest! CHEST! I just saw in the mirror that my chest and shoulders are completely red with a feather-like veined pattern!"

"Zongzi is also a corpse! Fengjin, do you think I'll keep growing hair after the expiration date? yingyingying…"

Wen Fengjin: "..."

Wang Xiaomie, seeing that Wen Fengjin was silent and didn't speak, assumed that he'd guessed correctly and became even more terrified: "Everything was fine before. Why are there so many red tattoos popping up all of a sudden? Is it because it's too hot in the summer? Will my body rot in a matter of days...forget it. Let me die."

Wang Xiaomie let out a loud cry as he remembered the zombies in horror movies with hideous faces, jet-black nails, and covered in black hair from head to toe.

Wen Fengjin frowned, stepped out of the coffin, and approached Wang Xiaomie. With one hand, he grasped Xiaomie's damp hair and swept his palm over the long, dripping hair, creating a white mist to rise as the hair dried and turned fluffy.

Wang Xiaomie's nightgown was softly lifted by the other hand's fingers. The loose nightgown slipped off, revealing rounded shoulders and a prominent collarbone that outlined a beautiful arc, as well as smooth skin that was soft and youthful with no extra lines telling the story of the infinite vitality concealed beneath this slow-beating heart.

There was no evidence of the red feather pattern that Wang Xiaomie had complained about.

The icy, pointy fingertips pushed against the flesh, pressed a small indentation, and glided down the thin chest along the collarbone before resting over the heart and covering it with the full palm.

Wang Xiaomie flinched in fear.

Wen Fengjin's long and narrow eyes hung low as he examined the body he'd expertly nourished and found no problems.

"Zombies do have a layer of hair on their skin, and the color of the hair can indicate the age of a zombie." Wen Fengjin let go of his palm and pinched Wang Xiaomie's chin, lifting his anxious face.

The clear eyes reflected a man with silver hair that cascaded down his shoulders, gorgeous enough to be a little sharp.

Wen Fengjin's mood improved when he looked at himself in those eyes, and his thin rosy lips curved at the corners.

"But you are not a true zombie. You were raised by my blood sacrifice. Even after obtaining that portion of Yan Chun, your heart continues to beat slowly. Xiaomie, you're the same as before. Are you certain you're not overly nervous today?

"It shouldn't be, I saw it..." Wang Xiaomie carefully recalled what he saw in the mirror just now, but the mirror was fogged by hot water at the time, so he was skeptical after hearing what Wen Fengjin stated.

"That thing is like a tattoo," Wang Xiaomie remarked. "It's red and like a feather."

Wen Fengjin thought for a while after hearing this, "What were you doing just now?"

"I didn't do anything; I just took a hot bath."

"Hot water..."

Wen Fengjin suddenly swung his arms around Wang Xiaomie's waist. Wang Xiaomie stumbled and bumped his forehead into Wen Fengjin's chest. Something soft touched him behind his ears and sucked hard before he could ask a question.

"!!!"

Wang Xiaomie extended out his fingers and tightly clutched the soft nightgown on Wen Fengjin's chest, closed his eyes, and controlled himself while blushing, his brilliant and clean forehead pressed against Fengjin's muscular chest.

A half-minute had elapsed.

Overhead, a hoarse bass pierced his skull and brain.

"Okay," Fengjin remarked at this point.

Okay? What exactly did he mean? Wen Fengjin pulled Wang Xiaomie away with his shoulders, but there was no tenderness or smile on his face. Those dark eyes were staring coldly at his neck.

Wang Xiaomie cocked his head to glance at his shoulder.

"F*ck, it's there again!"

He noticed blood red and thin lines wrapping over his left chest and shoulder and spreading all the way up to his neck, forming a slew of feather-shaped totems.

Wen Fengjin's face sank, and he felt the same smooth skin when he pressed on the pattern. There were no protrusions in the area, nor was it a simple tattoo inscribed on the skin, but rather a red line buried in flesh and blood.

"Does it hurt?" Wen Fengjin squeezed on the bit of skin.

Wang Xiaomie shook his head: "It doesn't hurt. I'm not feeling it at all. I didn't have anything like this before. Is it because of Zhen Bei and that Yan Chun dude?"

"This is not certain, and it could be related to the elixir's efficacy. After all, it is one-of-a-kind and has no written records, let alone predecessors who know what would happen if the elixir is consumed."

When Wen Fengjin saw this feather design, the first phrase that came to his mind was 'Ascension to Immortal[1],' and something beyond his control made his face look ugly, and his fingers stroked over that spot.

He stated: "Let's wait a night and see what happens. If it is the elixir's effect, we can only observe it gradually."

Wang Xiaomie nodded, and the lines on his body vanished after a while. They were both lying back in the coffin. The room was dark after the lights were turned off, and Wang Xiaomie hugged Wen Fengjin firmly and sobbed, "Xiao Wenzi." A moment later, he called out, "Fengjin."

Wen Fengjin was not irritable. He let Wang Xiaomie rest his head on his shoulder and leisurely kissed the whorl of his hair.

"Go to sleep; I'll watch over you." The mesmerizing voice gently reassured Wang Xiaomie, giving him a great sense of security.

"Hmm." He responded, closed his eyes, and napped for a time, but couldn't stop peering at his shoulder or looking up at Wen Fengjin's jaw in the dark. A cool kiss brushed on his eyelids suddenly.

The eye that was subjected to the external force closed automatically, leaving only one large eye that blinked uncomfortably.

"Xiao Wenzi..."

"Yeah?"

"Will I grow feathers all over my body and become a birdman?"

"...No."

"Xiao Wenzi."

"What?"

"In case…if by chance I really become a birdman, will you still..."

"Yes."

"...So resolute? No hesitation at all?"

"Um."

"...After turning into such a big bird in the future, what if I want to sleep in a bird's nest rather than in a coffin?"

"We’ll make our way back to the underground palace. The acacia tree is a good place to put a bird's nest."

"What if I lay eggs?"

"As you wish."

"How about we eat those eggs? Boiled or fried? Steamed egg custard with salt is my favorite."

"Hatch, don't eat."

"...Hatch a nest of little bird people? When I think of my kids eating worms and flying around the house on a daily basis, I don’t want to raise them. I won’t bring them up."

"I’ll raise them."

"......"

For a brief while, Wang Xiaomie was strangely silent. He yanked open Wen Fengjin's loose pajamas and buried his face in them, murmuring, "Won't you find them repulsive? Think about it, birdman!"

Wang Xiaomie didn't hear Wen Fengjin say anything. He waited for a long time and was about to raise his head in puzzlement when he heard Fengjin exclaim bluntly, "...Disgusting."

Wang Xiaomie: "..." You're done for, you're toast, laozi will kick you in the crotch and turn you into a childless scumbag!

Wang Xiaomie scowled and prepared to bite Wen Fengjin. He was on the verge of opening his mouth and biting the flesh in front of him.

"If you hatch them, I won't (think them disgusting)," Wen Fengjin added.

Wang Xiaomie halted, closed his mouth, wiped the saliva from it quietly, and silently stuffed his face back.

"...Xiao Wenzi."

"Yeah?"

"I'm worried that I won't be able to sleep. I don't want to become a birdman."

"I'll accompany you."

"Then sing a song for me. I might fall asleep if I listen to it. "

Wang Xiaomie remarked this casually. He was surprised to hear Wen Fengjin hum an old Northern Kingdom nursery rhyme. He muttered to himself, 'I taught you this,' and then ceased speaking.

Wen Fengjin's voice was really nice to listen to.

The raspy, cold voice had a unique magnetic bass. It would make people's ears itch as soon as it came out of his throat.

There was no additional light in the dim coffin, and the illuminating night pearl was removed and covered up with the double phoenix red quilt. Wang Xiaomie closed his eyes and listened to the nursery rhyme singing near his ears. He finally fell asleep after a few tries.

When he awoke the next morning, it was already bright, and he was still in Wen Fengjin's arms. Wen Fengjin opened his eyes as soon as he moved: "Awake?"

"Umm, didn't you sleep last night?" Wang Xiaomie questioned, stretching his stiff waist.

"I don't need sleep." Wen Fengjin put his hand on Wang Xiaomie's neck and observed it when he finished speaking, but there was still nothing on it.

After being apprehensive for the entire night, this thing didn't hurt or itch, and they had no idea what it was. Wang Xiaomie simply ignored it and resigned himself to fate.

As a result, he comforted Wen Fengjin and continued to do what he was supposed to do. Whatever happens tomorrow, life must go on for now.

Bai Yu, who was downstairs, had already gotten up early and had taken care of the cleaning conscientiously. Wang Xiaomie went downstairs after washing up and into the kitchen to start breakfast, while Wen Fengjing stood in front of the small desk with Bai Yu's cardboard box upstairs. He picked up a book and opened it, the bottom of his droopy eyes shimmering with an odd light.

Wang Xiaomie frequently made jokes and indulged in buffoonery with Bai Yu after he moved in. Despite the fact that his memory had been restored, Wang Xiaomie was more impressed by the carefree college life. Bai Yu was a classic little sand sculpture[2], and the two could giggle until their tummies hurt while watching TV together.

Wang Xiaomie didn't inform Bai Yu about the situation on his neck, but he did observe it for a day.

But nothing happened today!

Is it truly a side effect of the pill?

Wang Xiaomie couldn't figure out what was going on. When it came time to cook dinner, he wanted to saute steak, but they'd used up all of the butter.

They could have used olive oil instead, but they didn't have any on hand!

"Fengjinnnn, we've run out of butter!" shouted Wang Xiaomie at the top of his lungs.

"You've run out of butter? I'll go out and get it!" Bai Yu poked his head out the kitchen door frame.

Wang Xiaomie pondered it and stated, "Let Fengjin purchase it. These items are available at a grocery near our home. You may not know it, and Fengjin is faster."

"Yeah, you're right," Bai Yu said, scratching his head as he remembered Wen Fengjin's "leaping onto roofs and vaulting over walls" style.

Boss Wen, King Xiaomie's 'errand boy,' soon appeared downstairs. He'd already changed his clothing and picked up the keys and phone from the table to go purchase butter.

Bai Yu quietly sighed as he noticed no displeasure on his face at being treated as an errand boy: It looks like Wang Xiaomie is still at the top of the food chain in this family!

After ten minutes.

Wang Xiaomie, who was busy in the kitchen, heard the doorbell ring. He went outside and spotted Bai Yu, who had also heard the doorbell, exiting the room.

Bai Yu was ready to answer the door, muttering, "He’s back so soon. This speed is astounding."

Wang Xiaomie frowned when he heard this. Something isn't right. Wen Fengjin generally took twenty minutes to make a trip there.

"Wait! Don’t open the door just yet."

"Huh?" Bai Yu instantly let go of the door handle and spun around to inquire, "What's the matter?"

Wang Xiaomie's heart was filled with an inexplicable feeling. He didn't say anything, but hurried to the villa's door and twisted off the cover over the peephole.

Because it was night and the man had his back to the light, he could only see that he was a very ordinary-looking man, dressed in home clothes, like a neighbor knocking on the door, but they rarely saw neighbors nearby, and when they did, they departed quickly, without stopping to talk.

"Could it be that I think too much... Da Bai, take a look. Why do I think this person is weird?" Wang Xiaomie gave Da Bai his position.

Bai Yu leaned in suspiciously to see through the peephole. "What's the problem? Isn't it Boss Wen?"

Wang Xiaomie watched Bai Yu fix his gaze on the peephole for a brief while before abruptly ceasing to move. When he turned around, he had a terrified expression on his face.

"It's that man—it's that man!!!" he cried, his voice quivering.

Wang Xiaomie frowned: "That man? Which one?"

Bai Yu's pupils were dilated and his face was pallid. He fell apart and whisper-shouted, "It's the monster[3] that almost murdered me previously!" while gripping Wang Xiaomie's shoulders and retreating to the sofa.

"!!!"

F*ck! This dude actually knocked on our door! Wang Xiaomie's expression changed as well, but he then remembered that he still had Wen Fengjin!

His Xiao Wenzi was so domineering everyday, and he would blow this thing away in minutes!

Thinking of this, Wang Xiaomei's lofty dreams and lofty goals were instantly rekindled, and he calmed the terrified Da Bai.

"How dare he drop in! Da Bai, don't be afraid. I’ll let my Xiao Wenzi beat him to death!"

"Boss Wen is really great." Bai Yu covered his face, "But he's not at home right now!"

"..."

Oh, he’d forgotten about it.

"...What should we do now?" Bai Yu said.

"I guess we can be afraid now," Wang Xiaomie sighed.

Bai Yu: "..."

Footnotes:

[1] yu hua deng xian: An idiom that means a person attains Dao and ascends to immortality. Describes individuals who are detached from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. It can also allude to the end of one's life.

[2] An Internet buzzword. It rhymes with silly di*khead in Mandarin, so basically "dumba**."

[3] The term used here is yì zú, which translates literally as "different tribe." It is used to describe foreigners, as well as animals and plants that are not human. Given Bai Yu's dread, I chose "monster" in this context.

Translator:

Hello, readers! I’m taking up IHSC from Translating Boredom. They did an excellent job. I hope you find my work enjoyable as well. Please leave a comment and share your thoughts/suggestions.

I adore Xiaomie, and I'm sure you do as well. Let's see where WXM and WFJ's journey takes us. I translate as I read, so no spoilers please. I hope to see you again!

Have a wonderful weekend!