I and My Husband Sleep in a Coffin

Wang Xiao Mie’s diary: Today, I’m having a hotpot in my own grave.

A misty river flowed along the artificially excavated river channels and rockeries. A rocky cliff beside a stone bank with a red-tiled pavilion, exactly alike those at scenic spots.

On top of the stone walls were inlaid with luminous pearls and mermaid lamps that shone across the whole landscape, making the place bright as day.

Wang Xiao Mie pulled up the hem of his cumbersome ancient wedding wear and tucked it into his waistband. He rolled the long sleeves all the way up to his shoulders. Like an aristocrat eating a popsicle, he squatted by the river and began making his hotpot. He placed the seasonings and donkey’s hooves found from the graverobbers’ backpack into the pot.

The lava-like stew was bubbling. Wang Xiao Mie stared at it greedily as he swallowed his saliva. He partly felt the pain for his chrysanthemum, partly couldn’t wait to dig in.

“Feng Jin, don’t wash anymore. Come here. Have some hotpot.” Wang Xiao Mie shouted.

Wen Feng Jin had his hair tied up and his clothes rolled up, just like Wang Xiao Mie’s. One look at the messy handiwork and it was obvious whose it was. The devil that at one point could strike fear into the hearts of people with just his name, was now squatting by the riverbank and doing laundry with a gloomy face.

A long time ago, he trusted the words of his wood-brained subordinates and chose the most flamboyant wedding clothes and had several sets of spares made. As it turned out, after Wang Xiao Mie knew that he could get a change of clothes, refused to put on the old one again unless it’s been washed.

“These were worn for over a thousand years and never washed?!” Wang Xiao Mie’s disgust was too obvious. Wen Feng Jin could only swallow back the words on the tip of his tongue: the clothes are all dust-proof.

But in order to see Wang Xiao Mie change, he still gladly brought over the new garment.

What happened after only proved that there is no good ending for a hooligan.

When Wang Xiao Mie finished changing, he handed the dirty laundry to him with one hand pinching his nose: “boss, do you know how to wash clothes?”

Wen Feng Jin: “…”

As the mighty historical figure who could summon the wind and call forth the storm, how could he possibly…. not know how to do this!

Once upon a time, the initially poor little Wen Feng Jin, from a very young age, already knew how to wash his own clothes. Although it was a very long time ago, he could still remember.

Looking at the pitiful expression Wang Xiao Mie was making, Wen Feng Jin nodded with a stiff face.

In conclusion, he was urged by the cheering Wang Xiao Mie to find a wooden basin from the side hall, squatted down, and began doing the laundry by the river.

The invincible demon lord listened to Wang Xiao Mie’s chatter as he rubbed the clothes: let’s bring the rack for the decorations into the side hall where we’ll use as the laundry room. The rack is good for drying clothes.

Wen Feng Jin: ….. That’s not a clothes hanger, it’s a weapon display.

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Hearing Wang Xiao Mie calling him, Wen Feng Jin glanced at the mahogany basin and stood up quickly. He tidied up his clothes and went over to him.

“Don’t pull down your sleeves yet! You’re not done washing!” Wang Xiao Mie hurriedly stopped him.

“…..” Wen Feng Jin looked at his shriveled sleeves and submissively rolled them back up.

Two people who were full of historical elements squatted in front of a hotpot. It was a comical scene full of discrepancies, as if Tan Seng and his three disciples (TN: the main characters from Journey to the West) squatting on the roadside and smoking cigarettes.

Wang Xiao Mie breathed in the scent from the hotpot and thought: what would a graverobber think when he sees two big dumplings eating donkey’s hooves in the tomb? 

Good tomb robbers, please bring more donkey hooves the next time you come!

A few days ago, he never would have thought that he could eat hotpot in this underground palace.

Wen Feng Jin watched the steaming pungent cuisine that was the bubbling red liquid and felt uneasy: “This thing is like the vermillion concoction of those Taoist priests, is it really edible?”

Wang Xiao Mie took out two washed cans and spoke as he added food for him: “Don’t worry, these are delicious. Nowadays, people can’t live without spicy food! Here you go, have a try!” Wang Xiao Mie shoved the chopsticks and food to him. He then eagerly stuffed the scorching hot food into his mouth.

Wang Xiao Mie’s mouth was numbed and his eyes turned moist from the savory stock and the spiciness that rushed to the skull, this long lost taste made him feel alive again.

“Gosh, was this tomb robber from Sichuan!? Too spicy!”

Seeing Wang Xiao Mie who was in tears but did not stop eating, Wen Feng Jin eyed at the can in his hand and stared at the poignant piece of meat. In the end, he still pincered a piece with his chopstick and placed it in his mouth.

Wang Xiao Mie at this point began to observe Wen Feng Jin, from the point when he started chewing slowly to his face turning slightly red, then his nose started twitching due to the spiciness. Finally, he disregarded the etiquette and swallowed it quickly. The beautiful and elegant face showed a distorted expression.

Wang Xiao Mie held his can and LOLed: “So you’re not good with spicy food.”

Wen Feng Jin suppressed the spiciness with some difficulty. He frowned and said: “I’ve always preferred sour food.”

“I dread sour food.” He was fine with soy sauce and vinegar, but not with fruits, it would cause his teeth to fall. 

The two of them blew the steam and slowly ate the tendons of the donkey’s hooves.

At some point, Wang Xiao Mie said: “I’ve turned into this living corpse, I don’t intend to leave anymore. I’ll stay and accompany you. After all, my relatives don’t like me. And my parents would probably just pay someone to deal with my body after they realized I was dead.”

“Although I still don’t fully believe everything you said before, seeing how you’re alone, and I’m also alone. I won’t hide this from you but I’m gay, that’s ‘broken sleeve’ in your language. If you can be honest and upfront with me, then we can start as friends and live together in this underground palace. Therefore, you don’t have to deceive me…”

“Lately, I realized that I’m getting more and more unusual. Does this have something to do with you?” Wang Xiao Mie voiced his thought in one breath but his chopsticks did not stop moving.

It was nerve-wracking for him but he wanted to create a casual atmosphere so he could easily test Wen Feng Jin.

After all, the other is a thousand-years dumpling, one wrong move and he could gnaw me to death!

What past and present reincarnation, to him who only had his twenty-something years of memories, was not very convincing.

Unless he could one day recover his memories as Mian Deng, otherwise, it was extremely hard for him to become someone else.

Wen Feng Jin’s hand that was holding the chopsticks froze for a second. He looked up at Wang Xiao Mie.

Wang Xiao Mie swallowed his saliva in jitters.

After a moment of silence, Wen Feng Jin’s face turned gloomy. He bit the side of his lips, drooped his brows and eyes, then said: “I’m happy you’re willing to stay and accompany me. Don’t worry, I will not hurt you. I also did not do anything to you.” 

Wang Xiao Mie frowned suspiciously: “You really didn’t do anything?”

Wen Feng Jin’s hands clenched. He lowered his head and a tuft of hair fell over his cheek.

“I’m not mistaken. Mian Deng, you are who you are. I am certain you are the one I’ve been waiting for.” Then he said with a self-mocking smile: “and you, even in your previous life, you still doubted me like everyone else because of my peculiar pupils. Why is it that even till now… I still cannot have your total trust?”

“I’ve waited for you for so many years! How could I bear to hurt you?!” His voice was trembling and hoarse like he was crying.

Wang Xiao Mie: “….” At this very moment, I feel that I’m such a scum.