I Attacked Because I Was Afraid Of Death

Chapter 29: Spark it aflame (1)

This was completely different from Base L.
Base L had been built on the outskirts of City L and the survivors did not live much differently than before the end of the world.
The Longteng Base was a refuge built by a group of people in the most precarious and remote places in the mountain col, in order to avoid zombies, and most of the houses were simple, made of wood and stone.

Wo Na led Chi Xin and they never met any woman along the way. All the men they encountered would look at Wo Na with disgusting and lecherous eyes, only to give the same look to Chi Xin.
But Wo Na kept a cold face as if she was accustomed to this situation, while Chi Xin shrank into her thick scarf.

It wasn’t until they reached the most remote place with no light around that she barely noticed a feminine figure. The figure was sneaking and fumbling around, and Chi Xin had no idea what they were doing.
Wo Na looked over and whispered: “Ai Xi, what are you doing?”
The figure was startled but when she saw Wo Na, she leaped over and buried her petite body in her arms.
“Sister Wo Na! I… I was so worried about you!”
Her voice was very soft and delicate, mixed with broken sobs. Wo Na turned a gentle gaze to her and patted her shoulder lightly.
“It’s okay, I’m alright, I’m back.”

Ai Xi raised her head and revealed her childish face. She looked suspiciously at Chi Xin and asked: “Who’s that?”
“Newcomer.” Wo Na didn’t want to say more.
“Oh.” Ai Xi nodded in understanding, “Does she have to hurt to not be eaten too?”
Wo Na’s face changed and Chi Xin reacted half a second later; she quickly understood what Ai Xi meant by “hurt” and her clenched fist trembled.
“Ai Xi, how old are you?” She tried her best to suppress the anger in her heart, making her voice hoarse.
The young girl was taken aback. She looked at Chi Xin, then at Wo Na, and whispered: “14 years old.”
Fourteen?
Chi Xin glanced at her small figure; she would have never guessed she was over twelve.

At this time, Wo Na patted Ai Xi again and said: You should go back. If you insist on being so reckless, don’t let them catch you. You won’t be able to get out of it.”
Ai Xi seemed very afraid of any possible punishment. Her small head glanced behind them and she quickly said: “Then I will go back first but Sister should go back soon too. Otherwise it will hurt more.”

At such a close distance, Chi Xin could clearly see the bitterness on Wo Na’s face. Ai Xi infused her with some sort of strength and when she left, the two women did not speak for a while.
“She’s only 12.” Wo Na broke the silence first, “She always tells people she’s 14 but she has just graduated from elementary school. But that group of beasts… that group of beasts…”
Her trembling voice choked in her throat and her hand was held by warm fingers. Wo Na raised her head abruptly and saw Chi Xin’s face oddly bright in the dark.
“It will be okay.” Chi Xin said.
This was her purpose all along.

But if her tone was very sincere, she looked very weak. Wo Na thought she was joking and after hesitating, she stretched out her hand.
“You have just arrived, you don’t understand yet.” She said, “I don’t know how you got here, whether you got cheated or got bought… but remember that once you enter this place, you have to accept whatever happens. Throw away all of your previous knowledge and education, surviving is the most important. Do you understand?”

Chi Xin agreed with her last sentence: “Only when you’re alive can you resist.”
“What do you know!”
Wo Na suddenly became angry. She stared at Chi Xin fiercely and added: “Looking at your appearance, you don’t know anything about human suffering. You must have been blessed by your parents and they helped you survive until now, didn’t they? You don’t know how hard it is for a lone woman to survive these days… Do you know what price many people have paid for their survival?”
Chi Xin looked at her silently and Wo Na pointed to the deep darkness behind the row of huts.
“Do you know how cruelly the people who tried to resist were killed? Do you know how many people jumped from here and were left with no bones?”
She added: “No, you don’t know anything. Your eyes are clear, not poisoned by the world yet. But now that you’re here… your life is over. The previous you is dead. Dead.”

Chi Xin watched Wo Na say such cruel words but her expression was sad, almost broken. At the end of her speech, she couldn’t hold it anymore and made a low sobbing sound while covering her face.
After a while, Wo Na put down her hand. Her eyes were wet with tears but her expression had returned to normal.
“I’m sorry.” She said, “I have been in this place for so long, my mind is inevitably distorted.”
Chi Xin had managed to hide her anger and listening to Wo Na’s apology, she only shook her head slightly while the woman adjusted her emotions and led her inside.

There were a total of ten small rooms, each housing about three women. Wo Na quickly explained this to her as she brought her to the one on the far left.
It was very rudimentary, with only one bed, one cupboard, and one table inside. Wo Na took out a cup and handed it to Chi Xin.
“Take it. This is the only container you can hold things in. Keep it carefully.”
Chi Xin looked at this ordinary stainless steel cup and couldn’t help to ask: “This thing?”
“This. Whether you want to drink water, eat porridge, or wash your face, you have to use this cup. Even for washing your hair.” Wo Na answered, “You are lucky, I’m the only one in this room at the moment. You don’t need to get along with other girls.”
She tried to smile stiffly: “Because you come from the outside world, you may not be able to get along with some people happily.”
Chi Xin instantly thought of Han Yiyi and nodded deeply.

She placed the cup on the table casually and looked around the room.
“Just now, you said you couldn’t resist here.” Chi Xin said slowly, “But when you were being dragged out there earlier, those people said you were being beaten for resisting. Why?”
She spoke very quickly but her voice was soft, minimizing her aggressiveness. 
Sure enough, Wo Na did not hide away and replied: “But you saw I wasn’t resisting as I was being beaten.”
Chi Xin thought for a while: “You mean…”
“Blind obedience or fear will only bore them faster and they will keep trying to get more girls from the outside.” Wo Na glanced at her, “I’m not a saint nor a martyr but with our limited resources, once a new girl arrives, what do you think will happen to the “scraps” who occupied said resources?”

Chi Xin’s eyes narrowed. She remembered that in the movie, the original Chi Xin had probably been one of those the men had gotten bored of. When the protagonist group had found her in the black market, it had looked as if her soul had been stripped away and all will to live had disappeared. Her eyes had been hollow and every time someone had touched her, she had exploded in a frenzied counterattack and obviously suffered from grave PTSD.