I [Imperial] Am Not This Kind of Man

Chapter 20 - Great Money-Making Scheme

Qin Nuo was startled. He had only been gone for one shichen.1 How had the (unstable) situation suddenly changed? 　　

 “Didn’t they say that they were going to conduct peace negotiations?” He couldn’t resist asking.

Ever since the founding of the country of Bei Shuo and the declaration of its emperor, every couple of years, both parties would be engaged in a conflict. Half a year ago, a great battle had taken place. Da Zhou had lost, but Bei Shuo hadn’t been any better off.2 Even as the victor, Bei Shuo had also suffered severe losses. Moreover, their national strength was below that of Da Zhou’s. Seeing that it appeared that it would be impossible for them to breach Juyong Pass, they simply stopped in their tracks and proposed a peace talk.3　　

Naturally, Da Zhou wouldn’t refuse this request. However, they had to be extremely prudent when considering the conditions of this peace talk.　　

Bei Shuo wanted a large sum of gold and silver (money), an open market, and a princess for a marriage alliance.4　　

Both parties had remained at the negotiation stage regarding Bei Shuo’s requests. In the first place, both countries were a long distance away from each other; just the (diplomatic) envoy’s trips to and fro took two to three months. They had been at it for about half a year now and they still hadn’t come to a settlement.　　

“Breaking their promise; going back on their word. This gang of thieving barbarians!” Qin Xun cursed.　　

“Even so, they shouldn’t start a battle at this time.” Qin Nuo stroked his chin. Last time, Bei Shuo had formed an alliance with Dong Xia and several other small tribes, gathering an army of over 500,000 men, yet they were still unable to breach Juyong Pass. What can they do with 200,000 soldiers and horses? Moreover, the temperature is about to become colder and the water plants in the North will wither. Their army’s provisions will be a big problem. It’d be even worse if the war is delayed and they encounter a blizzard. It truly isn’t a good time to send troops.”　　

“Who knows? As expected of barbarians5–they simply do not have even an iota of courtesy, attacking during the national mourning period.”　　

Qin Nuo was speechless. ‘Refraining from attacking during the national mourning period?’ It’s not like they’re Duke Xiang of Song6–who cares whether you’re mourning or not? Furthermore, they (Bei Shuo) should be taking advantage of the new emperor’s succession of the throne–the time when the imperial court and government is most unstable–to dredge up some minor benefits. 

Because of the news of Bei Shuo’s invasion, everyone was deeply worried. Even the aloof new Emperor Qin Cong’s complexion was extremely bad. 　　

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Looking at Qin Cong’s pale complexion, Qin Nuo couldn’t help feeling a little sympathetic towards him. This occupation of being “emperor” was not an easy one! Emperor Jingyao had certainly enjoyed himself, endlessly relishing in the arts and beauties throughout his entire lifetime. And all he had left for his offspring were several messes that needed to be cleaned up.  

The banquet ended abruptly. After they kowtowed to express gratitude for the imperial benevolence, the imperial clansmen withdrew from the main hall. 　　

Even the usually optimistic Qin Xun had no interest in schmoozing. He rushed to the plaza, hurriedly squeezing into his carriage and leaving the court. 　

Qin Nuo went over to the Western Palace to give Qin Zhi notice and left a step later than everyone else.　　

The wheels of the carriage rolled on the bluestone slabs, producing a rhythmic noise. Qin Nuo reclined on the cushion in the carriage, absent-mindedly thinking about the days to come.　　 

Just as he was feeling drowsy, the horse in front suddenly neighed and the carriage jolted.　　

Qin Nuo hastily held onto his seat and steadied his body. The hoarse shouting of the coachman entered his ears, “What are you doing? Is there still any law of the state, with horses being allowed to run amok in broad daylight in the capital on an official road? Hey, stop right there, stop right there, why’d they run…”　　

Inside the carriage, Qin Nuo lifted the window curtain open and poked his head out to look in the direction [of the horse]. All he could see was the black horse’s butt dashing off along the public road at a speed of about eighty yards [per hour].7　　 

His coachman was hopping mad and letting out a stream of invectives. When he saw that Qin Nuo had been disturbed, he realized that he had acted inappropriately. He promptly stopped and smiled obsequiously as he said, “King, an uncivilized person came out of who knows where and pushed through, shoving and bumping into us.8 If it wasn’t for my*9 fast reaction, they would have almost collided with the royal vehicle. This kind of thing with no manners ought to be taught a lesson.”

Where else could the uncivilized person be from? Those who could walk on the official path were either family of a functionary or the officials of the imperial court—in any case, none of them were without the word “official”.　　

 Ignoring the coachman’s complaint, Qin Nuo’s gaze fell onto the captain of the guard next to him.

The captain of the bodyguards of Commandery Prince Jun’s Mansion was named Zhang Juzhe10, an eighth-rank low-level military officer11 who had been dispatched by the Ministry of Internal Affairs and was quite devoted to his duties. He bowed in salute and explained, “According to what I*12 saw just now, their style of dress and outfit should be the fast horse messenger13 of the Ministry of War. However, [I]* do not know why he is in such a hurry. Do you want me*14 to send someone to catch up to him and call him to account?”　　　

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Qin Nuo instantly knew what was going on. He commanded, “No need. Let’s go.” The matters of war at the border were most urgent; it was hard to avoid acting somewhat discourteously.　　

 The carriage resumed on its way.　　

Among the guards, a voice couldn’t help muttering, “For this fast horseback rider to be in such a hurry, it must be a super urgent matter of war at the border. Could it be an invasion by Bei Shuo?”　　

Although he deliberately lowered his voice, Qin Nuo—who was inside the carriage—could still hear him because of the natural projection of his voice.

His eyes followed the direction of the open car window and saw that the voice belonged to a burly middle-aged man with a dark eye patch over one eye. The man wore iron chainmail,15 with an air similar to the lone pirates Qin Nuo had seen in the movies from his previous life; it was the marksman named Lu Dong whom he had brought back from the Shence Battalion.　　

It was at this time that Qin Nuo remembered that this fellow had made a racket that he didn’t want to be an military instructor for the mansion’s servants and squeezed into the honor guard,  causing the steward to complain that he had lowered the overall appearance of the honor guard.

As expected of someone who had a background at the northern border. When it was the real deal, he (LD) immediately “smelled the first signs.”16  　　 

When Qin Nuo had left the imperial palace, the Left and Right Chancellors and the several important subjects of the Ministry of War had been told to stay. He presumed that this matter would be spread all over the capital tomorrow, so there was no need to keep it a secret. Hence, Qin Nuo replied without reservation, “Your guess is correct. The court has received news that the army of Bei Shuo has invaded.”  　　

Lu Dong had originally been muttering to himself; he hadn’t expected for Qin Nuo’s voice to come from above the top of his head. He instantly raised his head and looked over at Qin Nuo with a fervent gaze, “Is what [you]* said true? This group of ‘wolf cubs’; it is precisely this season that they like to come raid.17” 

This excited gaze…A half-handicapped person like you couldn’t be thinking of going to battle and fighting in the war, could you? 　　

Zhang Juzhe, who was on the side, also couldn’t resist saying, “Deputy Commander Lu couldn’t be thinking of going to battle and killing the enemy, right?” Because Lu Dong had been a ranked officer in Shence Battalion, he had also received the status of a deputy commander in the Honor Guard. 

Like a pierced rubber ball, Lu Dong deflated instantly.18 In the end, he shook his head and sighed.　　

Qin Nuo suddenly recalled that when Zhao Pingyi had recommended Luo Dong to him, he (ZPY) had bragged about the latter being the best among the mounted archers in the entirety of Bei Shuo.19 He (QN) couldn’t resist inquiring, “I heard that you had been in Bei Shuo for a long time. How do you feel that this war will proceed?”　　

Lu Dong’s interest had already waned, “How could a useless person such as myself who has long retired know?”

Qin Nuo was speechless. You still hold the official position of a “xiǎo xiào” in the Shence Battalion though. And that’s at least a Centurion-level post–one that receives a salary from the Ministry of War.20

On the other hand, Zhang Juzhe was better at reading the atmosphere. He immediately answered, “[You] do not need to worry, King. The soldiers at the border are of one mind. Those barbarian thieves won’t be running wild for long.”　　

Lu Dong didn’t say anything, but he chuckled twice.　

Qin Nuo glanced at him and said with a smile, “I’m not too worried about the northern border. Bei Shuo has fought in many great battles earlier, and their vitality has been severely damaged. They merely want to take advantage of the instability of the national mourning period to obtain some benefits. The cold winter is approaching; I presume that the troops will withdraw soon. I am worried that there are people with the heart to do so who will profit from the chaos.21”

Zhang Juzhe smiled and said, “The king has wise judgment.”　　

A look of surprise appeared on Lu Dong’s face. He glanced at Qin Nuo again. After enduring the urge over and over again, he was finally unable to resist,22  “[I] wouldn’t have thought that the king (QN) would also have thought of this step. To think that some people have said that the king—uh.” Obviously realizing that his words were inappropriate, he shut his mouth.

Qin Nuo did not find his words disrespectful,23 “Ha, compared to my brothers, I*24 am indeed more foolish.25 It is inevitable that the palace workers misunderstand.”　　

Seeing that Qin Nuo wasn’t going to pursue the matter, Lu Dong chuckled and continued to say, “I*26 think so as well. There is no doubt that the remaining forces of Nan Chen definitely won’t allow this opportunity to slip by.”

Qin Nuo was taken aback. He hadn’t even thought of that; when he had talked about people with the heart to do so taking advantage of the chaos, he had been concerned that the Huo Family and Pei Ling in the capital would clash again.  

The remaining forces of Nan Chen? Several years ago, after Nan Chen had been vanquished, a prince had fled to the South with twenty thousand remnant soldiers and sought refuge in Wuli,27 which had originally been Nan Chen’s vassal state. Afterwards, they occupied the land of three counties28 and established a small court, refusing to surrender.29 Due to the fact that they occupied a natural stronghold which had a winding road and poisonous miasma saturating the air, Pei Ling dispatched troops to scout out the situation several times with no results.30　 

Not long afterwards, Bei Shuo assembled their army and invaded from the North, and Pei Ling led the army back to the South. After a fierce battle, although Da Zhou had a satisfying victory, Bei Shuo did not give up their evil intentions. They continuously harassed the border, and Pei Ling himself was appointed to an idle post31 due to his enormous meritorious service,32 so both sides had wins and losses. Hence, these years, Da Zhou’s gaze had always been focused on Bei Shuo. From beginning to end, they (DZ) hadn’t been able to free up any hands to deal with the little court of the remaining forces of Nan Chen that were forced to move away to a small part of the territory.33　　

According to hearsay, this prince of the Southern Dynasties was quite capable. During the several years when he had been forced to move away to a smaller territory, he had first married the princess of Wuli. Then he occupied their “nest,”34 nibbling away at and annexing35 Wuli’s territory. Now he proclaimed himself as the king of the land36; he was already a force that could not be underestimated.　　

The remaining forces of Nan Chen hated Da Zhou to the bones. Now that their hands were free, Qin Nuo was afraid that they really would cause trouble.　　

Once he thought of this, Qin Nuo couldn’t resist wanting to return to the imperial palace and warn the important ministers who were still discussing official business. But then he reconsidered it and gave up on the idea. There were countless capable people in the court. There was no need for an idle king like him to worry about it.　　

With the army pressuring the border, the court’s response was extremely speedy. The next day, they issued multiple consecutive imperial edicts, deploying the troops, horses, rations, and fodder of various regions of the country. 　　

In a rare occurrence, Qin Nuo had Li Wan make a copy of the imperial bulletin. Additionally,  he came to understand some of the court’s movements through Qin Xun. As expected, the court was wary of the remaining forces of Nan Chen.　　

With regards to the resurgence of the conflict with Bei Shuo, the situation among the people also became tense. The price of food in the capital changed thrice a day. Qin Nuo couldn’t resist sighing with regret that he had overlooked this great opportunity to get rich. However, within a couple of days, the grain merchants who had the most egregiously inflated prices were directly subjected to the inspection of their properties, confiscation of possessions, and extermination of their entire family clan. This made Qin Nuo sigh endlessly once again. If he wanted to get rich, he’d better rely on his skills conscientiously. 　　

At the moment, he was in his feudal land.　　

Of the three country estates37 allocated under Commandery King Chun’s name, this Changshui38 Manor south of the city was the most excellent. Not only was the soil fertile, it was also close to the mountains and water.39 The scenery was breathtaking. Most wonderful of all, it had a hot spring. 　　

The mansion in the country estate was built next to the hot spring. It was designed and built by the previous owner of the country estate who had also been a commandery king. This Commandery King Lai40 was a sophisticated person. The manor in his mountain estate was built to be elaborate and cozy. It was a shame that he hadn’t been able to enjoy it due to the fact that he was ordered to commit suicide (by the emperor) as a result of getting caught up in the Rebellion of the Four Kings.41   　　

It was truly dangerous to be an imperial clansman! Even if you only loved to play around all your life and never got involved in politics, simply because your older brother from the same mother participated in a rebellion, it was hard for you to be spared from an unpleasant fate, and you would be ordered to commit suicide! After understanding the reason for his biological uncle’s demise, Qin Nuo couldn’t resist internally commenting, “Fortunately, I don’t have any biological brothers; I just have the one younger sister.”　

At this moment, he was lying languidly in the hot spring pool and twirling a round bath bean42 with his fingers.　　

Although this Da Zhou dynasty that he was in was not a dynasty mentioned in any historical records(in terms of where he had transmigrated from), its social productivity far surpassed that of a normal feudal dynasty. From what he witnessed everyday, farm crops like corn, potatoes, and chili had already been introduced at an earlier time. It was much more advanced in techniques like spinning (for textiles) and foundry metallurgy than the ancient times that he knew about. 43

This was true even for everyday beverages. Qin Nuo easily held up the ceramic glazed wine cup which was resting on the white marble platform next to him with both hands. The scarlet red (grape) wine looked just like a pure gemstone under the illumination of the candlelight.　　

He took a slight sip. It tasted sweet, carrying a trace of alcoholic acidity; it was light in flavor yet not intoxicating. It was rare for a country estate like this to actually be able to store ice and even be able to brew its own (grape) wine. 　　

But the alcohol had a subtle acerbic taste, so a large amount of crystal sugar was added to neutralize and conceal this taste. Hence, when one tasted it, it was somewhat overly unctuous. 

He recalled the country estate steward’s boast when the wine had been brought in: ‘There is a vineyard on the north side of the hamlet. It is not that I*44 am boasting, but the (grape) wine that our hamlet brews is among the top in the whole capital. Though it could not compare to the sweet and rich wine of the Western Regions, it is  an absolutely first-class product nevertheless.’ 

Among the currently trending grape wines, the Western Regions’s wine was the most expensive. Its taste was sweet and rich. The wine that they (DZ) brewed themselves tended to have a bitter taste. The acerbic taste was extremely strong in lower-quality wine; it was hard to take. The higher-quality ones were like this cup before his eyes: the bitterness was suppressed to the lowest level; however, because too much sugar was added, the taste was also compromised.　　

As expected, beauty standards were always subject to change along with the development of history. In the modern society of the future, some people sought this particular bitter and astringent taste in their grape wine. Artisans specially used oaken barrels and other cellaring methods to intensify the bitterness and astringency of wine. On the other hand, in this era, the sweeter, richer, and more delicious the wine was, the better.　

The method to remove the bitter taste in grape wine was actually very simple. Should he try to use this to get rich?　　

It had already been many days since he had left the imperial palace. He was no longer a greenhorn who didn’t understand anything about the secular economy. Qin Nuo knew that in this time period, salt, iron, wine, and the like were all monopolized by the government or managed by some state-approved merchants. And behind these giant merchants, there were rich and powerful aristocrats who wielded the power.　

Take beverages for example. There were only so many businesses with the license to engage with the product in the capital. The beverages in the major restaurants and traders all came from these businesses. There were also a couple minor merchants who brewed and sold their own beverages. However, they didn’t amount to much, so naturally no one bothered with them. However, if their business grew, there would definitely be people coming up to their door to teach a lesson to these nasty people who “forgot their morality for their greed.” 

If he really did make this kind of grape wine by fermentation and invested a great amount into the market, it would undoubtedly affect the interests of the large clique of rich and powerful aristocrats. Although he was also an imperial clansman, due to his identity as an idle commandery king, he was better off being as low-profile as possible.　　

Compared to beverages, this thing was much safer. Qin Nuo’s gaze returned to the small, round bath bean. 　　

The bath bean was about the size of a fingertip.45 It was a soft cyan color with the sweet smell of osmanthus flowers. The bath beans that the Commandery King Manor used were all top-grade products supplied by several cosmetics stores. The smell was fresh and clean, but the effectiveness of cleaning was ultimately inferior to the scientific and technological goods developed by the chemistry industry of the future. 46

Nowadays, the bath bean could be divided into many types: one exclusively for brushing one’s teeth with, one for bathing, and one for moistening the skin and adding fragrance after bathing.

Furthermore, this thing was not under any court ban. The workshops among the people could manufacture it as they pleased.　　

Qin Nuo had made handmade soap before in his past life and he still remembered the fundamental steps. As an improved version of the bath bean, he believed that it would be much more popular than this thing (the current bath bean).  　　

The materials to make the bath bean were all readily available in the estate. As for the mold, good tools were the prerequisite for the successful execution of a job,47 so he planned to go to a craftsman’s workshop tomorrow to get a good one forged. 　　

Having decided on the first step towards getting rich, Qin Nuo’s mood was lifted. He drank another mouthful of grape wine. It wasn’t only the taste of the wine, but its alcohol concentration that was a huge issue. 　　

Qin Nuo still roughly remembered the distillation equipment for alcohol purification. He decided to draw up a plan for it later on as well. After the alcohol was purified, even if he didn’t sell it, he could use it himself. Moreover, not only could highly purified alcohol be used to brew alcohol, it could also be used to make other complementary goods (to handmade soap) such as floral water and toner.

Thank you for reading my translation!

Footnotes

One shichen = two hours半年之前刚刚一场大战，大周吃了败仗，但杀敌一千自损八百，作为胜利方的北朔同样损失惨重，而且它国力本就不如大周。杀敌一千自损八百 (shā dí yī qiān zì sǔn bā bǎi) – lit. kill a thousand enemies and lose eight hundred of your own people. Baidu page here.眼瞅着不可能攻破居庸关了，所以干脆停下了脚步，提出和谈。居庸关 (Jūyōngguān) – Juyongguan, frontier fortress on Great Wall north of Beijing, in Changping district. Wikipedia page here.巨额的金银，开放的坊市，还想要公主和亲。蛮夷 (mányí) – common term for non-Han peoples in former times, not exclusively derogatory / barbarianDuke Xiang of Song (宋襄公) was the leader in the state of Song in the Spring and Autumn period (a period in Chinese history from ~770 to 476 BCE). He’s sometimes considered as one of the Five Hegemons of that time period. He was known for his humanity in war (and this is what Qin Nuo is referring to). You can check out the Wikipedia page on him for more information on why.0.045 miles per hour or 0.02 meters per hour横冲直撞 (héngchōngzhízhuàng) – lit. bashing sideways and colliding straight on (idiom); to push through shoving and bumping / to barge / to charge around violently“小人(xiăorén)” – lit. small person. In this context, it is a self-humbling word. “When common people met officials or when slaves met their masters, they often referred to themselves as “小人(xiăorén)” to express their modesty and lower status” (source). 张居喆  (Zhāng Jūzhé)小校 (xiǎo xiào). Baidu link here.he refers to himself as “your subordinate”传讯飞骑 (chuán xùn fēi qí). 传讯 (chuánxùn) –  to summon for interrogation or trial. Baidu page here. 飞骑 (fēi qí) – fast horse. Baidu page here.he refers to himself as “your subordinate”铁光锁子甲 (tiě guāng suǒzǐjiǎ). 锁子甲 (suǒzǐjiǎ)- Chainmail. Visual example: 不亏是北疆出身的人，真刀实枪打过仗，立刻就嗅到了苗头。真刀实枪 (zhēn dāo zhēn qiāng) – real swords, real spears (idiom) / real weapons / very much for real / every bit real / the genuine article. Baidu page here. 苗头 (miáotou) – first signs / development (of a situation).Specifically, the raw used “打草谷 (dǎ cǎo gǔ)”: “此言当真。这帮狼崽子，就喜欢这个季节来打草谷。” 打草谷 (dǎ cǎo gǔ) refers to how nomadic peoples—more specifically Khitan officials and soldiers—in the name of herding horses, go out to loot to fill funds and provisions for the troops. Baidu page here. Wikipedia page here.The raw said this: 像是被戳破了的皮球，鲁冬雀跃的眼神瞬间熄灭了。雀跃 (quèyuè) – jump for joy, like how small birds or sparrows hop around. 熄灭 (xīmiè) to stop burning / to go out (of fire) / to die out / extinguished. So the part after the comma actually says something along the lines of “Lu Dong’s excited gaze promptly extinguished/died out.”Refer to Chapter 15秦诺无语，你身上还带着神策营小校的官职呢，好歹也是个百夫长级别的职务，还领着兵部的薪水。只是担心有心有人乱中取利。忍了再三，终于忍不住了。再三 (zàisān) – over and over again / again and again. Baidu page here.不以为忤 (bù yǐ wéi wǔ). Baidu page here.QN refers to himself as “this king”愚笨 (yú bèn). Baidu page here.LD refers to himself as “This/your subordinate”乌理国 (wūlǐguó). 乌 (wū) – crow / black. 理 (lǐ) – texture / grain (of wood) / inner essence / intrinsic order / reason / logic / truth / science / natural science (esp. physics) / to manage / to pay attention to / to run (affairs) / to handle / to put in order / to tidy up. 国 (guó) – country / nation / state / national / CL: 個｜个三郡之地 (sān jùn zhī dì).数年前南陈覆灭之后，一个皇子带着两万残兵逃到了南方，投效了原本是南陈附属的乌理国，之后占据三郡之地，建立起一个小朝廷负隅顽抗。负隅顽抗 (fù yú wán kàng), a Chinese expression usually used to describe an enemy’s attitude where they refuse to surrender and continue to act up. Baidu page here.因为占据天险，道路曲折，毒瘴弥漫，裴翎派兵试探了几次都没有结果。投闲置散(tóu xián zhì sàn). Baidu link here.不世之功 (bú shì zhī gōng). Baidu link here.所以这些年，大周的目光一直集中在北疆，这个偏安一隅的南陈残余小朝廷，始终腾不出手来收拾。偏安 (piān’ān) -content to hold a small part of the territory / fig. forced to relinquish the middle ground / forced to move away. “偏安一隅” (piān ān yī yú). Baidu page here.鹊巢鸠占 (quècháojiūzhàn) -the magpie made a nest, the turtledove dwells in it (idiom) / to reap where one has not sown.蚕食吞并 (cánshítūnbìng). 蚕食 (cánshí) -(lit. and fig.) to nibble away at. 吞并 (tūnbìng) -to annex.坐地称王 (zuò dì chēng wáng). I used these Baidu pages as references: 坐地, 称王称霸, and 坐地虎田庄 (tián zhuāng). Baidu link here.Literally “Long Water” (长水 chángshuǐ)依山旁水 (yī shān bàng shuǐ). Baidu link here.莱 (lái)四王之乱 (sì wáng zhī luàn). This historical event is part of the novel’s setting. The closest event I can find in real life with the name is this: 奉天之难 (Fèngtiān zhī nán; Battle of Fengtian), also known as “二帝四王之乱” (èr dì sì wáng zhī luàn;“The Rebellion of Two Emperors and Four Kings,” including the Rebellion of the Four Towns and the Jingyuan Mutiny), which happened during Emperor Dezong of Tang’s reign. Baidu link here.澡豆 (zǎo dòu). It was an ancient version of shower gel that emerged in the 3rd century during the Han Dynasty. It was a luxury product; a powdery soap made from ground beans or peas mixed with spices, various flowers and plants, and even powdered jade. Baidu here. English article here. Other English reference here.纺织铸造冶金等技术都比自己所知的古代要先进很多。he calls himself “小人(xiăorén)”Visual example for size: 味道清新，但清洁效果嘛，终归不如后世化学产业发达的科技产品。工欲善其事，必先利其器 (gōngyùshànqíshì, bìxiānlìqíqì) – “To do a good job, an artisan needs the best tools” (idiom)./ “Good tools are a prerequisite to the successful execution of a job.”