I Want to Smile Beside you in the Spring That I Haven’t Seen Yet

"Sorry I made you wait."

As I stared blankly at the old piano, which looked like it hadn't been used in years, Akari came out from the counter with a tray of cream soda.

"Please, enjoy your meal. If you don't mind this kind of restaurant, you can take your time."

"Excuse me… How much is the price..."

The other day, I went out with Kana and the others, watched a popular movie, ate expensive sweets, and bought trendy clothes. So I wasn't sure what was in my wallet.

I didn't think a glass of juice would cost a thousand yen, but I didn't have the menu handy to check, so I thought I'd ask before I started.

Then Akari rolled her eyes for a moment and stopped her movement, then she let out a funny laugh.

"What are you talking about? There's no way I'm going to take money. I brought them in, and I served you drinks on my own accord."

"'Eh... I see. But I'm sorry. I'm not a child like I was back then anymore, and I can pay properly... Well, if it goes over a thousand yen, that's something..."

She smiled at my words and shook her head, "Don't be shy.

"Haruka-chan is still a student, so it's fine to have an adult treat you. If you're still worried about it, I'd be happy if you could come back to the store when you're an adult and can earn your own money. At that time, I'll definitely make sure you pay for it." 

Akari smiled mischievously at me, and I smiled and said, "Thank you." 

The words, "When you can earn your own money," stung my heart.

I was embarrassed to realize that I had been trying to pay for something I did not earn by myself, saying that I was not a child anymore.

And even though I complained about my parents, I still ended up using the allowance my parents gave me to hang out with my friends.

And I hadn't even decided what I wanted to do with my life, neither did I even know if I'll be able to earn money when I grow up.

I was disgusted by my own patheticness.

Thank you very much, I'll take your word for it.

I bowed to Akari and opened the straw bag.

The cream soda was placed on a cork coaster.

A bright green melon soda, white vanilla ice cream with a hint of yellow, and bright red cherries.

The nostalgia of the colors, unchanged from those days, almost moved me to tears.

I am aware that I have been strangely unstable lately.

Before, I used to be able to swallow any bad news with a smile, and even if my mother said something harsh to me, I was able to ignore it.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that I would forget about it after I went to bed, but after a day, I would feel much calmer.

But these days, my heart was always in turmoil, regardless if I was at home or at school.

My love life was not coming true, my relationships with my family and friends were sometimes stressful, and I felt like I couldn't make any decisions about my future, so it was as though I was losing my footing.

Everything was going wrong. One after another, things kept coming to disturb me.

I had forgotten how to swallow my dark feelings like before.

With a sigh, I scooped a small scoop of vanilla ice cream with a long-handled spoon.

The ice made a crackling sound.

The melon soda that had touched the surface of the ice cream was frozen yellow-green and stuck to it.

I remembered how I used to love eating this part of the ice cream, which had a crunchy, sherbet-like texture.

Back then, every day was nothing but fun, and the future seemed to shine brightly.

And yet... When did I become such a dull, cloudy, and boring person?

I sighed for what seemed like the umpteenth time and brought the ice cream to my mouth.

It was sweet, cold, and delicious.

Sucking melon soda through a straw, it smelt sweet and good, and it gently irritated my tongue.

It tasted the same as it did back then.

I have changed so much, but this store and its taste have not changed at all.

Suddenly, I wished I could go back.

I wanted to forget about the person I loved, my friends, my family, my future, everything, and just smile innocently like when I was a child. I can't do that, though.

I sighed again and casually looked outside.

The unreliable light of a nearly dead fluorescent lamp illuminated an empty, dark alleyway.

As I gazed blankly at it, a boy in a navy blue blazer walked in front of me.

His pale hair and neat profile stood out in the bluish-white light.

—It was that boy.

The moment I saw him, I involuntarily stood up with a start.

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I muttered, "Excuse me," to Akari and the old man, who looked at me in surprise, and rushed out the door of the store.

"Amane!"

I called out from the front, and he turned around quickly and rolled his eyes in surprise.

Amane stopped and his lips quivered faintly. It appeared to have moved into the form of "a far". I wonder if he remembered me.

"Um, I'm sorry, I'm suddenly... you know? I met you in the park there the other day..."

When I pointed toward the park, he narrowed his eyes and nodded his head.

"I'm sorry I stopped you so suddenly, you must have been surprised. Well, I've been wanting to see you, so I was happy to see you…"

After saying that, I felt embarrassed that I had said I missed him and was happy to see him.

Amane took out a small notebook and pen from his pocket.

He opened the page and wrote something on it.

Then he showed me what he had written.

"Me, too."

I smiled at him, feeling happy.

Just then, I heard a door open behind me and Akari-san appeared.

"Haruka-chan, are you friends?"

"Oh, yes, we're friends, or... well, we've only met once."

"Right. Good evening," She smiled at Amane.

He smiled and bailed.

"Hey, why not join us, if you like? It's a chance to get to know each other, so why don't you come in and have a chat?" 

At Akari's words, Amane smiled again and nodded.