A Broken Resolution (2)

“No one seemed to be inside the building.”

As soon as the Knight Commander reported, Joshua shook the pointed gate a couple of times to confirm that it was locked. The sun felt hotter even though it was still spring. When he found a beautiful tree planted between the beach and the mansion, he turned to it.

“I’ll wait here.”

Under the tree’s shade, Joshua felt troubled again. He imagined scenes about his and Ariad’s reunion countless times for the past three weeks, whether he should be the one to say something first, whether he should raise his voice at her or just grab her arm and drag her out of there. Just in time, the voice he was waiting for rang faintly.

“Can’t you go around one more time? The weather is so nice that I don’t want to go in. Just one more lap.”

Even though it was quite far, the refreshing voice got stuck in his ears and Joshua’s head naturally turned towards it.From a distance, he could see the side profile of a pale face and the hem of a woman’s baby blue dress gently rippling along the breeze. The woman’s belly protruded even more than the last time he saw it and her small hands were tightly held by another man. Joshua’s reason darkened at the sight. Soon after, she laughed.

“Don’t be disappointed. I already accepted your love. It’s been a long time since someone took care of me like this on my birthday.”

Under the fine purple strands gently swaying in the spring breeze, a  beautiful smile was spreading across such beautiful lips.

“My birthday is———”

Suddenly, their words faded as if they had been cut off. Obviously, he had seen their lips move but no more conversation was heard. Everything in sight began to blur.

Strangely, only the woman’s wide and gentle smile was clear in the meantime. For a moment, she turned her head toward the tree he had been hiding. As soon as their eyes were about to meet, Joshua swiftly hid behind the wooden pillar. After a while, he suddenly felt silly and grinned. Why was he hiding? He criticized his unexplainable actions too late as his messy emotions swirled around. He exhaled a dry sigh and swept his face roughly with his hands. He already made up his mind. He would have to lock her or tie her up. Possessing her body was enough. He couldn’t care less about what she had to say once he got her back. But why did all of his resolutions suddenly become distant? He leaned his head against a wooden post. The back of his dress shirt got crumpled and his waxed hair was a mess. As the light pouring through the dense leafy canopy touched his eyes, he frowned and raised his right arm to cover the expression on his face.

The reason why he felt so stunned as if he had been hit on the head was probably that he had clearly confirmed how tight and stable Ariad and Deon’s connection was. He didn’t even have space to enter. Ariad seemed happier than he imagined. Unlike how she was often nervous when she was with him, she looked more comfortable at Deon’s side. The couple smiling underneath the warm sunlight seemed picture-perfect and he had no place in there. Ariad was truly drifting away from Joshua’s life.

“Sir, why are you staying still?”

The Knight Commander asked nervously but Joshua still couldn’t move a step. With his back to them, he seemed to have hardened as he covered his eyes with his right arm. The silence seemed endless and it took him a long time to speak again.

“I don’t think I can.”

Joshua felt the chaotic swirling of emotions gradually sinking down there. That woman’s smile had broken down his overwhelmingly possessive desire to tie her up and possess her. The fact that he recognized it again on top of the resolutions that had collapsed unknowingly was firmly established.

“That’s not what I really wanted….”

Yes. What he wanted in the first place was that heartfelt smile, those brilliant eyes looking at him, her beautiful smile at the end of the day, and her loving heart. Those were the things that he would never get even if he was forced to get drunk. After realizing it a long time ago, he almost acted somewhat impulsively due to the intense desire he had for her. In the end, they had to be released so that he could watch them from a distance. He didn’t want her to be ruined by his grasping hands. It wasn’t until he faced the things he wanted right in front of his eyes that he thought so. The sound of crashing waves muffled in his ears slowly cleared as his distant mind returned. Nevertheless, her bright smile in that vision was engraved in his mind.

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