Life Going Wild With Plug-ins

Chapter 34 - I learnt how to eat by myself! losingface.jpg


At noon, I tried my utmost to independently eat my own meal. It was rather difficult, but I was barely able to eat my fill.

Ye Tan silently looked sideways at me, a few times he couldn’t help but come to my aid, until ultimately he was forced to stop.

I thought, I need to practice a lot more, I can’t always depend on him.


The Swords Convention has passed, and the big event of the Yang Lake is over, Yang Qingzhou at last breathed a sigh of relief, and he was not as nervous as when he was accompanying the guests the day before. From time to time, he would chat and laugh with the guests, and someone even urged him to get married.

I listened to this while remembering that everybody here seemed to need to find a person to like, to settle down with, grow close with, and grow old together with. I also remembered what Ye Tan said yesterday, that if I waited until I had a woman I liked, and I was with her everyday, then it wouldn’t be the same as with other people.

Since I had this thought, I bluntly asked: “A-Tan, are you married?”

Ye Tan was surprised: “Of course not.”

“What’s the type you like?” I cheerfully asked.

Ye Tan stared blankly, and unnaturally responded: “This subordinate cannot like other people, cannot get married, and also cannot want a partner.”

I widened my eyes as I looked at him: “How do you know you won’t have a woman you like?”

Ye Tan didn’t know how to answer, so he just foolishly repeated: “This subordinate just won’t.”

I found it increasingly inexplicable, and I was unable to make sense of his logic: “Yesterday you decisively said I would have a woman I liked in the future, but you yourself won’t have one, so why would I? You just won’t? Why?”

Ye Tan thought for a moment, then knelt down on one knee and said: “This subordinate dedicates my entire life to Master, so I don’t fall in love, and I don’t need a family.”

This guy really is brain-dead, I can only offer earnest advice: “Aiya, being a guard is just a job, why should you lose yourself entirely? In the future you can eat breakfast in the morning and come to work, then eat dinner in the evening and return home after work, the two sides don’t have to conflict, do they? Why go so far.”

Ye Tan didn’t raise his head and didn’t answer, he only kept kneeling with a straight neck.

Alas, this unlucky child, it still doesn’t make sense, I can only use practical actions to influence him.


Yang Qingzhou left in the afternoon, for some reason he advised me over and over again to be more careful these few days, but I was unclear why, so I carelessly agreed. When we returned to the town, I dragged Ye Tan to an eight-sided pavilion overlooking the lake. In this place there are a few interconnected main roads, bustling with people going back and forth, there are fisherwomen picking lotus seeds on the lake, riding on their long boats, and young ladies washing clothes on the side of the stream. They’re all at the prime of their youth, cute and full of life.

I think each one is very good.

I poked Ye Tan’s arm: “What about this girl with the dark green clothes? I like how she looks, quick, go ask her if she wants to marry you.”

“What does Master mean?” Ye Tan couldn’t help but say.

“I’m finding you a wife.” I winked.

Ye Tan resolutely refused: “This subordinate won’t get married.”

“Hey, how would you know if you don’t try.” This guy, doesn’t even dare try a little bit, he’s really going against his master.

I encouraged him again and again, until Ye Tan helplessly got up and very unwillingly walked over towards that young lady, and said the words to her in a low voice. When the young lady heard him, she grabbed her basket of clothes and broke into a run.

Ye Tan walked back again: “She ran.”

“She didn’t agree.” I wondered, my Ye Tan is handsome and confident, tall and dashing, what about him isn’t good? Why’d she have to run.

I presumed this was a one-time mistake, so I spent half the day waiting for another opportunity, and every time I saw a nice-looking young lady I urged Ye Tan to go hit on her.

Without exception, every person that heard him ran, the only difference was their speed as they got away.

I’m confused.

“Is our method not correct?” I asked Ye Tan as I ate some melon seeds, “I’m angry, my A-Tan is so good, why run?”

But Ye Tan didn’t answer, instead he asked me with a gloomy expression: “Master, why do you insist that this subordinate gets married.”

“Why not? The things that everyone else has, I naturally also want A-Tan to have.” I shook out the melon seed shells form my hand as I spoke.

Ye Tan stared blankly as he heard this, and mumbled to himself: “.....I see.”

I thought about it for a moment, and felt like perhaps this matter can only be chanced upon, and wasn’t something that could be solved by hitting on one or two girls: “Maybe the time hasn’t arrived, no worries, we can slowly take care of it. A-Tan, when you have someone you like, you can tell me in advance, and I will surely think of a way to let you marry the best young lady.”

Ye Tan looked pensive as he blushed, and he just shook his head.

I thought about it, and added: “It’s not just limited to girls. If you ever feel like you’re unhappy with your work, and you want another master, I can also help you find a good one.”

Hearing this, Ye Tan was startled, and he sputtered as he knelt: “Master, how could that be.”

He hadn’t been this frightened in a long time, so I hurriedly helped him up: “A-Tan is so good, of course you deserve the best.” I’m such a tactless and impulsive person that can barely defend myself, how could I keep being a burden to him.

“This subordinate only has one Master, you, and as long as you don’t expel this subordinate, this subordinate will not be disloyal.”

Ye Tan stared blankly at me, and said the words: “.....until death stops me.”

“What are you talking about.” I frowned and reprimanded him, “If we ever really meet a bad person, you need to do everything you can to protect yourself.”

Ye Tan didn’t respectfully agree as usual, which meant he refused.

Speaking of this, I remembered the repeated warning Yang Qingzhou gave me today, and I had a somewhat bad premonition, so I took out a small bag of gold and gave it to him: “Yang Qingzhou said our activity in the last few days has been too large, I don’t know what that means..... You go buy a few more guards just in case, I’ll wait for you here.”


Ye Tan agreed and left, and I leisurely went to the next-door tea stand to get some sweet roasted chestnuts, I ate half a bag before my sight suddenly went black, and my head was covered with a burlap sack.

“It’s only this invalid? What about the one with the sword?” A few people pushed and shoved me as they dragged me out of the shop, muttering apprehensively amongst each other, discussing about giving me a beating first as a warning.

I was greatly alarmed: “Wait wait! Don’t hit me!”

Only one person seemed to disapprove, and asked: “Why?”

I only have 10 HP, I’m so weak I would drop dead from one touch, so I couldn’t help but be panic-stricken: “I’m especially fragile and a little bump would kill me, anything you want to discuss is fine, but you must absolutely not hit me.”

“Hey, this youngster dares give orders to these grandfathers....” The one speaking grabbed me by the neck and lifted me up.

Before he could use any force, I felt a sweet taste in my throat and passed out.


I’m weak.

It wasn’t a joke.


The time I was unconscious for shouldn’t have been long, before I was fully conscious, I heard someone muttering and cursing next to me.

“How did he become like this? Did you beat him up?”

“Pah, I just picked him up, that’s it, how was I supposed to know this invalid wouldn’t be able to take it.”

“.....strange, how can his pulse be so weak. Be careful not to kill him. And the sword?”

“The one carrying the sword wasn’t there, we just grabbed this one.”

“That’s fine, I heard he was outstanding, going up against a hundred people and not being defeated once, I reckon he’s skilled. You keep an eye on this person for the time being, don’t cause any accidents, I still hope we can trade him. Have we made contact?”

“Still no news..... hey, he woke up, he’s awake.”


I had just opened my eyes, there was dust everywhere and it looked like we were in a firewood room. I was laying on the ground, my right hand was tied to a column so tightly it was extremely painful. Three young men crouched around me, staring, one had a long beard, one an elegant long robe1 , and the last one had a yellow face and an emaciated body.

Seeing that I was awake, the bearded man grabbed my shoulders and lifted me up: “Hello, sickly guy, your father2 has something to ask you—”

As I was gently raised up, bloody foam started flowing from the corner of my mouth.

The young man with the long robe was so frightened he quickly elbowed him and slapped his hand, and that man cried out loudly: “Eh, big brother, If I touch you, will you also vomit blood?!”

“Maybe he is injured or has an illness.” The long-robed young man held my wrist somewhat perplexed, and asked: “Brother, what’s wrong with you?”

“Wrist..... hurts.” I was choked with sobs.

The long-robed man looked twice, then reached up and untied the rope from my wrist, but the other two hesitated a bit, and he said: “Forget it, someone this weak won’t be able to walk a few steps, let alone escape.” He got up to leave, but before leaving he anxiously ordered: “This person’s body.... it’s really very poor, if you leave him alone he could die at any moment, so you must be absolutely careful not to kill him.”

The bearded man and the gaunt man both heard this, and looked at me with an increasingly cautious expression.

I leaned on the wall, wanting to stand up, but I was still feeling a bit exhausted, the two men looked at me from the distance and asked: “What are you doing?”

“The ground.... too cold. I can’t stand it.” I wiped the blood from the corner of my mouth.

“Fuck this little bastard....” The bearded man gestured, hating that he couldn’t beat me up, but restrained himself as he looked at my figure, teetering on the verge of collapse, “Forget it, I’m really out of luck.”

Saying this, he covered my eyes and, gnashing his teeth, helped me out of the firewood room, we walked around, twisting and turning for a short while, until he finally pushed me onto a bed. I took off the black cloth from my eyes, and found I was sitting in a simple, small room, I covered my stomach with my hand and slowly sat up, making an anxious expression.

The bearded man glared at me with his eyes: “What’s going on with you this time?”

“I’m hungry.” I held my stomach, hanging off the edge of the bed, “I feel..... ah.... like I won’t be able to bear it soon.”

“You mother—!!” The bearded man angrily kicked a table and sent it flying, then hammered punches into the wall again and again, causing the ground to shake.

I had only felt the room shake, and already there was blood flowing from the corner of my mouth again, so I feebly said: “Don’t get really angry next to me, I’m weak.”

“Fuck!! Let me kill him!! Your father won’t do this!!! Go to hell!!!” He frantically rushed at me, but luckily that gaunt man by his side cut him off, dragging him out the door. Outside there was the loud sound of clattering, and I estimated there were very few trees left unbroken out in the courtyard.

I stroked my chest to console myself, calming down for a moment, and the large bearded man came in, he had red in the corners of his eyes, and was carrying a small box of food, as well as a new table.

I shifted towards the table with difficulty, and ate a small portion, the dish was somewhat simple and crude, and it didn’t really satisfy my wealthy tastes.

I asked: “Do you have roast duck?”

The big bearded man was finally unable to control himself, and he burst into a string of obscenities as he held his fists high at the top of his head.

He had yet to hit me when I was already shaken by his surrounding inner strength, so I again coughed up a small mouthful of blood.

The big bearded man was dumbfounded.

He lifted his fists, the corners of his eyes widening towards me with hatred, the rims of his eyes becoming more and more red. As he glared, two lines of hot tears started flowing from his eyes.

“You.... you little bastard.... I.... fuck.....” He became more and more choked up, and suddenly wailed: “In all of my lifetime, this father has never been so wronged!! Wuwuwuwuwu!!!!!!”

The large bearded man angrily fell apart into tears and ran away.

I was stunned.


The gaunt man was bewildered as he came in, looking at me: “What’s wrong?”

There was still blood on the corner of my mouth as I insisted: “I want to eat roast duck.”

“.....” The gaunt man looked at me as though he had suffered serious damage, and he was also stunned: “Turns out not eating roast duck can also make you vomit blood.... alright, fine. Do you have any other requests.”

I thought about it: “I also want triple delicacy doupi3 , with extra chilli.”

“.....okay.”

I also said: “This bed is too hard, I want to switch for a softer quilt.”

“.....fine.”

I spoke again: “The trees in the courtyard are blunt, it doesn’t look good, I like courtyards with ponds.”

“.......” He breathed a deep breath, “I can do that.”


That evening I was inexplicably transferred to a very luxurious large residence, the bed mattress was top-notch silk fabric, and as rich as I was even I had never seen such comfortable material. The decorations inside the house were extremely elaborate, with antique calligraphy and paintings of considerable value, and the courtyard was built with extreme care, with it’s own collection of forest springs, and the koi in the pond being particularly plump.

I guessed that my location might have been moved to the main residence.

I didn’t see anyone in the courtyard, but there were guards patrolling everywhere further out, so I couldn’t slip out, and readily adapted to my circumstances.

The next day, I slept until the sun was high up, there were delicacies spread out on the table, and I selected a few to eat, then carried a plate of peanuts towards the lotus pond to start feeding the fish.

The scenery was delightful, very relaxing, and I was satisfied.

I wished Ye Tan could be here with me.

I leisurely fed the fish for half a sichen, until a gust passed over the top of my head. That gust floated into the main house, then floated back to stand in front of me. I raised my head to look, and it was a young man wearing a black outfit4 .

“Wow, a beauty.” He went in a few circles around me, looking me up and down, “You look really similar to what the boss said, if it wasn’t for my cleverness I would definitely have mistaken you.” He grinned as he walked over to me, taking a handful of peanuts, “Pity, I still have things to do, but I’ll come back to see you when I’m done.” And he turned around and flew off.

After I finished feeding the fish, I slowly went back to eat dinner. The servant girl finished arranging the plates and withdrew, and I hadn’t even moved my chopsticks when I saw the guy from that afternoon looking at me through the window, and he cheerfully greeted me: “Hey! Beauty! We meet again.”

“Are you going to eat?” I asked.

He was startled: “Why, is the beauty inviting me for a meal?”

I nodded, and he happily slid next to me, saying how flattered he was, but he took out a silver needle and poked around for a bit.

“Occupational habit, don’t mind me.” He finished testing for poison, and didn’t refrain from digging into the food.

This person’s hands moved astonishingly fast, I hadn’t even moved my two chopsticks and he had already finished eating the entire table.

I didn’t eat enough, and I really regretted inviting him.

“It’s been a long while since I had the opportunity to eat like this.” He cupped his hands to thank me, and looked back up at the sky, “It’s getting dark, I looked everywhere in the house but didn’t find anything, the boss is going to scold me.”

“What are you looking for?” I was curious.

He grinned: “He’s a beauty with cinnabar in the space between his eyebrows, just like you, but unlike you, he is a prisoner, and you are the Master.”

I said: “No, I’m not the master here, I’m also a prisoner.”

“The beauty can really joke around.” He praised my humour, and patted my shoulder in a friendly manner, “I need to go back, I’m sure we’ll meet again some day. Beauty, is it convenient for you to leave me your name?”

I answered: “Jun Xuanheng.”

He was surprised: “Your name is also really similar to what the boss said, it must truly be fate. I’ll come find you another day and introduce you.” He finished saying this and jumped out the open window, disappearing into the boundless moonlight.


I thought about it. A person inside this house, who is a prisoner, with cinnabar on the forehead, whose name is Jun Xuanheng.


Are you really not talking about me???

 

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1 Specifically a cheongsham.Top.

2 老子 used as a way to refer to oneself arrogantly.Top.

3 A type of breakfast food typically made with rice, meat, egg, and mushrooms, and cut into small squares.Top.

4 勁裝 type of clothes referring to the typical wuxia martial artist’s outfit, like this.Top.