Life Going Wild With Plug-ins

Chapter 43 - The small loyal dog’s Fan Club has gained another member.


As we were about to go out the door I held a stack of banknotes and counted it, apparently during the festival one should give red envelopes to children so they have fun, but I didn’t have a standard for how much to give, I didn’t know if one hundred taels counted as too much or too little? Should I give silver or gold? Gold might be a bit excessive, I can’t let people discover anything strange or I will be forced to do a System Retraction....

I had no clue, so I had to ask for outside help: “A-Tan, when we go out I want to give out red envelopes to Ye Xiao and Qiqi, can you tell me how much is appropriate?”

Ye Tan stood in front of the window obediently and quietly, and replied: “Whatever you instruct, Master.”

I was very dissatisfied: “I’m asking you, can’t we have a proper conversation? If you don’t want to talk I’ll go find someone else to consult with.”

Ye Tan though about it, and earnestly replied: “Master has always been generous, just give them one guan1 .”

I fell into deep thought.

A guan.

I thought for a long time, and finally asked: “How much is one guan.”

Ye Tan looked at me, then bowed his head as he answered: “Replying to Master, one guan is one thousand copper coins, and one silver tael is three guan.”


......

I feel like there is a little problem with Ye Tan’s definition of generosity.

But I, as a cognitively-challenged person who knows nothing about prices, might not be qualified to question him.

I asked again: “Isn’t that too little? What can you buy with one guan?”

Ye Tan: “The items and food sold at the temple fair won’t cost more than a few coins, in any case, they might not even be able to spend all of it.”

I see, hey, that’s actually a lot.

But when I thought about being a magnificent Creator God, handing out red envelopes and saying: “Here, I’ll give you one third of a silver tael.”

.....it was wrong. Very poor and pedantic. I can’t bear it.


I went out of the room and yelled “Let’s go”, and Ye Xiao came out pushing Ye Lan, who was wearing a moon-white long robe, looking very uncomfortable. This was the first time I had seen him wearing light colours, and it was really eye-catching.

Ye Xiao proudly said: “How is it, Boss, does he look good? I picked it.”

I nodded: “Yeah, very good, but how come you’re still wearing black, why don’t you wear something like him?”

Ye Xiao scratched his head: “I’m not too used to wearing such flashy colours, I’ve always felt like they make you a target.”

Ye Lan said immediately after: “I’m also not used to it.”

Ye Xiao was accustomed to it: “Bear with it.”

Ye Lan readily followed his advice: “Alright.”


Since they mentioned it, in fact, Ye Tan is also wearing new clothes today.

Last time I went to the tailor’s I made an appointment to visit and take measurements, and had a few pieces made according to Ye Tan’s instructions. I had thought that Ye Tan didn’t pay any particular attention towards clothes, since he had only said a few words about it, so I didn’t expect that he would whisper instructions to the tailor for a long time and even give him a design he’d drawn.

Seeing him being so meticulous, I couldn’t help but look forward to the results. When I got a hold of them and had a look, everything was a monotone black, with every single piece looking exactly the same, and I couldn’t tell them apart from each other.

Ye Tan saw my confusion, so he grabbed one by the collar, flipped it over, and pointed at something for me to see: “Each one has a number so they don’t get mixed up.”

Black clothes number one, black clothes number two, black clothes number three, and so on and so forth.

I was dumbstruck.

I: “Then, what were you telling the tailor for that long, what on earth were you talking about?”

Ye Tan once again turned the clothes over and pointed out the nooks and crannies on them: “The cuffs have four secret pockets, you can store silver needles or sleeping drugs here. On the side of the leg there is a thin strap, so you can place up to thirty daggers. Also here on the trouser leg there is.....”

I hurriedly cupped my hands: “Alright, I’m convinced.”

So, there was no dress-up play to speak of with Ye Tan and I, and the most I asked was: “Which number are you wearing today?”

Ye Tan seriously answered: “Responding to Master, number seven.”

Sigh. Doesn’t matter, I have nothing to say.


Qiqi came out just as she was straightening out her skirt, her hair wasn’t tied up, instead it trailed over her shoulders like a satin cape. She had on a long skirt, which she rarely wore, and a water-blue short jacket with the patterned silk skirt draped over it2 . She lifted up a section of the skirt, afraid it would drag on the ground, and revealed a pair of small, snow-white boots.

Qiqi saw us all staring at her without moving, and blushed: “What are you doing, staring at me like that.... I, I also know it’s inappropriate.....”

Ye Xiao immediately said: “Qiqi is super cute!!”

I nodded: “It just feels like something is missing.”

Ye Xiao and I crouched by her side and looked her up and down for a long time, then I asked: “Should she wear a flower?”

Ye Xiao: “That’s right, Qiqi don’t you have any silver hairpins or something like that?”

Qiqi: “Of course not!”

I hurriedly said: “We’ll buy one at the temple fair later. First we’ll have to make do with picking a flower that’s currently available.....”

We turned and looked around, but inside the garden there were only scallions and garlic shoots.

I remember when I had just bought this Garden, there were still a few bengal roses and haitang crabapples and whatnot, but as I looked I saw they had all turned into vegetables and seasonings before I realised it.

It’s too miserable, Qiqi, you’ve really invested too much into this Association.....


I moved to the corner and crouched down, then waved towards them: “Ye Xiao, Ye Lan, Qiqi, you guys come here, crouch next to me.”

The tree of them stood beside me and towered over me, looking down at me condescendingly.

“Crouch down, a little closer.” I urged.

Ye Xiao crouched down next to me and asked: “Boss, what are you doing.”

There should be a gap in the line of sight at the foot of this wall, so the people monitoring us should not be able to see us. I took out a few banknotes from my arms and divided them between the three of them, then lowered my voice and furtively said: “Today is a celebration so I’m giving you red envelopes. I’m giving them to you in secret, so don’t say anything when you go out.”

Ye Xiao counted them: “Wow, ten taels? So much!”

I deeply thought: I controlled myself to lower the amount to this limit, I couldn’t bring myself to do any less.

Qiqi held the banknotes and said: “This is too much, right? This is enough to buy two and a half of me.....”

Ye Xiao heard this and proudly said: “Hahahaha you really are cheap, I was worth two thousand taels! Isn’t it great!”

Qiqi angrily said: “You’re saying I’m cheap again! How can there be someone as bad at talking as you?!”

I remembered that during the first time we met, I also taunted her by saying she was cheap, and I felt deeply ashamed, so I thought of a way to comfort her and hurriedly pointed to Ye Tan in the distance: “Oh, right, Qiqi, do you know how much Ye Tan was worth?”

Qiqi shook her head: “Big brother Ye Tan must have been very expensive, right?”

I encouraged her: “Just make a guess.”

Qiqi lowered her head and thought for a moment, then said: “If I was big brother Ye Tan’s master, no matter how much money someone offered me, I wouldn’t be willing to sell him.”


......

I was stunned: “When the hell did your relationship become so good?!”

Qiqi got angry: “Big brother Ye Tan buys vegetables and washes them and chops wood every day in the morning before I’ve even woken up, then he goes to practice with his sword, and at noon he still helps me wash clothes and put the laundry out to dry, you don’t know how much he does! Unlike you three useless people who do nothing but eat and sleep.”

Ye Xiao and I lowered our heads in shame.

Hey, that’s not right, I’m actually a cripple with completely exhausted and depleted meridians, what do I have to be ashamed of?

I forcefully returned to the previous topic: “Sigh, no, I only spent one tael to buy Ye Tan.”

Qiqi: “Huh?!”

I: “It’s because at that time he had been crippled by his former master, so I was given a discount and not charged anything. The one tael wasn’t his price, it was the processing fee.”

Qiqi was stunned for a moment, and suddenly became indignant, firmly stepping on my shoes with her foot: “Big brother Ye Tan certainly feels very hurt about this matter! You’re bringing it up to make fun of him! You’re too much!!”

Ye Tan hurriedly picked Qiqi up and carried her off: “You shouldn’t be unreasonable towards Master.”

Qiqi bit her lower lip and looked like she was about to cry, so Ye Tan panicked: “Don’t cry. I don’t care about this matter..... I was lucky it was like that, because I was able to serve Master, so it was the most fortunate thing that happened to me.”

I: “That’s right, I was really poor at that time, and only had a total of one tael on me. Had the Nightrunner’s processing fee been more expensive by even half a penny, I certainly wouldn’t have been able to pick A-Tan up.”

At this, Qiqi’s expression was a little appeased, and I gave her some meaningful and heartfelt words: “So, Qiqi, you’re not the cheapest person in the garden, and it is clear that your price is not representative of anything. Isn’t that right, A-Tan?”

Ye Tan was half-kneeling on the ground, patting off the dirt from my shoe that Qiqi had stepped on, and he didn’t even lift his head as he agreed: “Yes.”


Ye Tan was clearly always silent, but everybody seemed to like him so much, even Qiqi, who angrily criticises us every day, wanted to protect him. It’s really a little miraculous, how on earth does he do it?

I hurriedly pulled him up: “Don’t worry about it, we’re leaving.”


I remembered this was the first time I heard how much Ye Xiao was worth, and I blurted out a question: “Oh, right, what about Ye Lan?”

“.....two thousand and three.” Ye Xiao was suddenly deflated.

I gasped in surprise: “Oh, surprisingly you were cheaper than him.”

“I couldn’t do anything about it, it’s because he has too many accomplishments, and I don’t know how many times he has seized the first place on the trials. If he wasn’t stupid, he should have been four thousand taels.” Ye Xiao lifted his sight towards Ye Lan and spoke in a gloomy tone, Ye Lan gazed blankly back at him, seemingly not understanding why he felt sad. I was just about to console the pair of unfortunate people when Ye Xiao suddenly laughed in a loud voice: “But that day boss only happened to bring around four thousand taels, hahahaha, luckily this guy is stupid, or else that day we wouldn’t have been able to afford him.”

“Even if I was worth a lot, this is still the first time I have touched so much money.” Ye Xiao brandished his hand with a heroic spirit that reached the clouds, “Let’s go, my treat, I’ll take you all to have delicious food and strong drinks.”


Ye Tan: “Don’t walk ahead of Master.”

Ye Xiao: “Oh. Sorry.”


My dignity completely relied on being saved by Ye Tan.

 

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1 A guan originally refers to a string with coins with a hole in the middle threaded through. Reference picture. Top.

2 She’s described as wearing a 襦裙 Ruqun, which is traditional chinese attire made up of a short jacket usually worn under a long skirt. Reference pic. Top.