Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

Gui Yutong glared up at Gui Delun. “I’ve chosen who I want to be with. Father, please.”

“A piece of filth who only wants your body, who’s trapping you into marriage? Let me kill him. I’ll adopt your child as mine, and this will have never happened,” Gui Delun rumbled, scowling at Hui.

Is this how the Fu Clan happened? Wait, no. There was a lot more clan murder going on over there. Hui paused. Actually, that would be pretty useful for me, if Gui Delun decided to haul off and murder half his clan…

No, no. I don’t think I could ever convince him to do that. Or rather, it’d take far longer than the ten years I have before Starbound Sect’s souls dissipate.

“He isn’t trapping me into marriage! Father, this is… it’s what I want. Please. Just let us get married, and it’ll all be fine. You approved of him earlier. What’s different now?” Gui Yutong asked.

“Now, he’s… tainted you,” Gui Delun snarled.

“Father! We would have had children one way or another. What’s the difference if we have them before or after we get married?” Gui Yutong argued.

“This is unacceptable. I cannot allow this.” Gui Delun crossed his arms.

Lying on the ground, Hui managed a smile. “Er, Senior.”

Gui Delun turned and glared at Hui.

Argh! Stop glaring at me! I’m trying to fix this, but dammit, I don’t understand this situation! I’m also pretty sure that isn’t actually my child, but for now, let’s go ahead and pretend it is.

At the end of the day, I don’t want to get kicked out of the sect. I’d rather marry Gui Yutong as her beard rather than get attacked and thrown out by Gui Delun. If the whole world thinks that’s Xie Hao’s child, then… whatever. Xie Hao isn’t even my real name!

And if it is my child… somehow, against all odds… then I’ll step up and take responsibility. In that case, I have no problem with marrying Gui Yutong. She… seems pretty reasonable, for an All-Heavens Sect Peak Lord. She might have some problems with me killing her father, but we’ll work through it when it happens.

Gui Delun cleared his throat. His eyes narrowed dangerously.

…Anyways, before I go on with imagining our lives together, let’s go ahead and keep Gui Delun from killing me right here, right now!

Hui looked Gui Delun in the eye and gave him as serious a look as he could manage from his place prone on the floor. “Senior, I’m fully devoted to Gui Yutong. I, Xie Hao, am prepared to spend the rest of my life with her,” Xie Hao’s life, anyways, “and I’m willing to marry her today, if need be, to prove my devotion.”

Gui Delun twisted his lips. “Then do it.”

“Sir. Should I fetch my finest robes, or…?”

“Now.”

“Father, maybe… a few moments for us?” Gui Yutong requested.

Gui Delun narrowed his eyes.

“We’ll stand right here. You can watch us,” Gui Yutong offered.

On the floor, Hui nodded.

Gui Delun snorted. He flicked his sleeve and turned away.

Hui dusted off his robes and climbed to his feet. He made eye contact with Gui Yutong. Explain this. Now.

Gui Yutong’s eyes flickered. She glanced at Gui Delun and took a few steps away from her father, then sighed. “Xie Hao, father sensed your energy on me. I’m sorry. I didn’t think.”

Hui frowned. A second later, his eyes lit up. “Last night?”

“Ah… yes. I sensed your aura…” Gui Yutong said vaguely.

Hui’s eyes widened. Ah. Even though we took our disguises off, we didn’t change our aura. She sensed our aura from Sectgoer, and cozied up to him to snatch his aura and use it to disguise the aura of whoever’s child is actually inside her. But then… He looked at Gui Yutong. “Is your brother doing well?”

She waved her hand.

Not him, huh. “Then, Bai Jingwen…?”

“Better… better than I could have imagined,” Gui Yutong said weakly.

Ha. She didn’t expect it, either. But she doesn’t seem sad? Well… I guess she does love Bai Jingwen. But I imagine she probably wasn’t expecting it so quickly, if at all… Hui cleared his throat. He frowned at Gui Yutong. “Is this… entirely unexpected?”

Gui Yutong shrugged vaguely. “There were clues, shall we say.”

I am definitely learning far more about this situation than I really want to. In any case, it sounds like she understood she was undertaking a risky endeavor, and continued anyways. That’s good. I’d hate to hear that Bai Jingwen tricked her, even if inadvertently.

Hui shook his head. We can have a long conversation about this later, once we get out of this situation. But first…

I have to say. I didn’t expect to marry Gui Yutong first. Maybe Bai Xue before Li Xiang, but… well, here we are. As far as I can see, my options are to get kicked out of the sect, marry Gui Yutong, or convince Gui Delun that his precious daughter is lying to him, that is not my child, and his precious daughter is banging a hermaphroditic lotus lady… and then get kicked out of the sect for good measure, because I don’t see that one going over well…

Right. So. Looks like I’m marrying Gui Yutong…

Peak Lord startled. I’ll go marry Bai Xue real quick!

Wait. That sounds like a party. I want in! Rogue shouted.

Sectgoer glanced up. Is it our child?

No, it isn’t. But we have to marry her anyways or else get thrown out of the sect, Hui explained.

It’s Bai Jingwen’s, isn’t it, Rogue chuckled, grinning.

… Did you know that lotuses are hermaphroditic? Hui returned, rolling his eyes.

We all know it, now. Especially Gui Yutong, Rogue said.

In any case, there’s no way you’re officially marrying Bai Xue before I marry Gui Yutong. We’re about to do things shotgun style, and I don’t think the Bai Clan is going to marry off its heir without some pomp and circumstance, Hui pointed out.

Can’t hear you, on my way to the Bai Clan, Peak Lord responded.

Gui Delun cleared his throat. “Shall we?”

Hui glanced at Gui Yutong. She sighed and shrugged. “I’d rather it was her, but…”

Yes, yes. I’ll be your beard, and I will absolutely use this as blackmail material to keep you out of the way when I destroy All-Heavens, Hui thought, nodding back. “I understand, Elder Sister.”

“I won’t… get in the way. If you…” she let her voice trail off. Her gaze fell to the floor.

Mmm, that is one benefit of this world, after all. I don’t have to worry about monogamy getting in the way. So what if I marry Gui Yutong? She’s just another wife. Ah, being someone’s beard isn’t so bad in this world. Hui nodded. “I understand.”

She nodded. “Shall we exchange the three vows and pay our respects, then?”

Hui nodded. “Let’s.”

The two of them walked over to Gui Delun. He narrowed his eyes at Hui and crossed his arms, then nodded. “Although this isn’t very proper… at least you didn’t flee your responsibility.”

Flee my responsibility? I’m over here not fleeing Bai Jingwen’s responsibilities! I’m taking on extra responsibilities, dammit! Hui nodded, smiling. “I would never.”

Gui Delun stepped back.

Gui Yutong took Hui’s hands. She leaned toward him. “Thank you.”

“You owe me one,” Hui whispered back.

Gui Yutong nodded. She squeezed his hands, then released them and began to kowtow. Hui followed her lead. My apologies, Li Xiang, Bai Xue. Don’t worry. I’ll marry you soon enough!

Though… I’m not really sure Li Xiang cares about marrying me, one way or another… Ah, it is troublesome to love a sword, at times.

He snuck a glance at Gui Delun as he completed the three kowtows. When he realizes who I am… oh man. I hope I’m there to see his face.