Perfection

 It was a silent night in the dark streets in a strange city.

　　Wen Jianing and Lu Jinlang parked their car on the side of the road and stared at each other in silence. If it wasn’t because of Xie Ruoming’s phone call tonight, Wen Jianing might be making love with Lu Jinlang on the big bed in the hotel room. After that, he would rest his head on Lu Jinlang’s shoulder and sleep quietly.

　　After such a long time has passed since he wanted to confess his identity to Lu Jinlang last time, Wen Jianing kept thinking whether he should not be hasty and whether he should consider the possible consequences. He’s also greedy for Lu Jinlang’s warmth, and he was also afraid that a momentary impulse would have an unpredictable impact on their relationship.

　　But the reason why impulse is called impulse is because it is unpredictable.

　　The first time he almost said it was because of impulse, and this time it was still because of impulse, and there was no second phone call to suddenly interrupt the conversation between them.

　　The windows of the car are closed, and Lu Jinlang smells of alcohol. He said, “What are you talking about?”

　　The words have already been said. Of course, Wen Jianing has no room for regret. So he once again solemnly said to Lu Jinlang, “I said, I am Wen Jianing.”

　　Lu Jinlang stretched out his hand, gently placed it on Wen Jianing’s shoulder, and said, “Stop it. Let’s go back and have a rest.”

　　Wen Jianing asked him, “Do you think I’m not thinking straight?”

　　Lu Jinlang did not deny, but said, “You need to rest now.”

　　Wen Jianing shook his head, “No, I don’t need to rest. I told you that I am not Ke Xinhang. The soul in this body does not belong to his original owner.”

　　The two of them have known each other for so long, and their time together is not too short. Lu Jinlang couldn’t think why he could say such a thing except for the sudden insanity of the other party.

　　He stretched out his hand and rubbed his forehead, and said, “Wen Jianing has been dead for a long time.”

　　Wen Jianing opened his mouth and gave an accurate time. It was the second day of the Academy Award ceremony and the exact time of his death. “I drank too much wine that night and couldn’t wake up. When I woke up again. I’m already in the body now.”

　　”What is this?” Lu Jinlang suddenly became a little unhappy, “Fictional story?”

　　Wen Jianing looked at him in a daze, “I want to know too, maybe it is.”

　　Lu Jinlang tugged at his clothes with annoyance. He realized that he didn’t like hearing these words. He said, “What exactly are you trying to prove?”

　　Wen Jianing said, “To prove who I am. The day I woke up was my funeral. I went to the cemetery and saw you. I’m not lying. I’m not getting crazy. I’m telling the truth.”

　　But Lu Jinlang felt that he couldn’t accept these truths. He said, “We’ll move out after we go back. Whether we move back to the original apartment or my villa, we can’t live in that house anyway. Now, you are caught in a delusion.”

　　”This is not a delusion!” Wen Jianing suddenly felt powerless, because no matter how he explained it, the person he loved was unwilling to believe him. He even grabbed a handful of his own hair and tried to think about what else he could say to prove himself to Lu Jinlang.

　　But Lu Jinlang obviously didn’t want to continue listening. He reached out and hugged Wen Jianing and said, “Will you go back to the hotel first?”

　　Wen Jianing didn’t go against him this time. It’s not appropriate for them to quarrel here. Even though there are no reporters at all, as long as a passer-by takes a photo with their mobile phone, they’ll be in trouble.

　　On the drive back to the hotel, both of them were silent.

　　Lu Jinlang opened the car window, and the cool night breeze quickly dissipated his alcohol. His thoughts became clearer and clearer, but at the same time it became more and more chaotic. He began to wonder if Wen Jianing’s words were true or false. He looked out of the car window in a daze.

　　The car had reached the hotel, Wen Jianing parked the car in the hotel parking lot and took the elevator upstairs with Lu Jinlang. There was a monitor in the elevator, so the two kept their distance and did not say a word.

　　After swiping the card to enter the room, the moment Wen Jianing reached out to lock the door, he repeated, “Whether you believe it or not, I am Wen Jianing.”

　　Lu Jinlang walked to the bed and sat down and began to change shoes. He looked up at Wen Jianing and said, “You need to rest.”

　　Wen Jianing summoned up all his courage saying these words, he couldn’t back down again at this time, he stood in front of Lu Jinlang, “Why won’t you listen to me?”

　　Lu Jinlang had changed into slippers, so he raised his head to look at him, and said, “What do you want me to hear? Listen to how you come back to life by inhabiting a corpse?”

　　Wen Jianing looked at him and reached out to hold his head.

　　If the person sitting here today is Wen Cuilan, he can find 1001 reasons to make Wen Cuilan believe him. But the person sitting here is Lu Jinlang. Lu Jinlang’s knowledge of Wen Jianing can also be learned by others from various sources. It seems that no matter what he says, there is no way to convince Lu Jinlang.

　　The only time the two of them were together was probably during the filming of “Duel”. But because of the nature of their work, there was no private contact.

　　After a short silence, Wen Jianing said, “I came out to act when I was less than 20 years old, and I started from minor roles. The first drama I acted in was a martial arts movie. I accidentally fell on my back by the prop rock on the scene. Several days…” He began to talk in detail about his experience since his debut.

　　Lu Jinlang didn’t say a word. He sat by the bed and listened.

　　Wen Jianing talked about it for a long time, some of the experiences were very detailed, and some of them passed by.

　　”The first time I saw you was actually at a dinner party. You may not remember it. At that time, you were not very famous. I was dragged to accompany you, but they were very polite to you.”

　　This is a small detail. Wen Jianing doesn’t know if Lu Jinlang remembers it. If he remembers the first time they met, he should know that he didn’t lie. Because this kind of dinner party has never been reported, people outside can’t know about the situation.

　　Lu Jinlang still did not speak, he became more silent.

　　Wen Jianing later talked about a lot of details about the filming of “Duel”. At the end, he said, “I have a birthmark on the base of my thigh. It is not very large and not obvious, but my mother knows it. She’s still here. You can call her if you have any questions. I can also give you her phone number in Canada.”

　　Lu Jinlang looked at Wen Jianing and immediately took out his cell phone, but he didn’t call Wen Cuilan. He called Lu Yunan and said, “Yunan, help me check a few things.” Then he gave instructions one by one, all related to the things Wen Jianing told him just now.

　　Then he hung up the phone and said to Wen Jianing, “Since you said I must check, then I will check immediately.”

　　It’s impossible for Lu Yunan to get news right away, not to mention that it’s already so late, and they have to go to bed.

　　For the first time. The two people were lying on the same bed, but they didn’t touch each other at all.

　　Wen Jianing turned over and turned his back to Lu Jinlang. He opened his eyes and looked at the darkness in front of him. He knew that Lu Jinlang was upset, but he didn’t even know why Lu Jinlang was upset.

　　Is Lu Jinlang upset because he himself doesn’t understand what this sudden anger is all about? Is it because the people around him lied to him? Because he is not Ke Xinhang? Or because he insists on saying that he is Wen Jianing?

　　In fact, at this time, if Wen Jianing was really just Ke Xinhang, he might turn around and hug the lover who was twelve years older than him, acting like a baby so that he would not be upset, but unfortunately he is not. Although everything seems to be heading in a bad direction, he doesn’t intend to stop there. This opportunity to summon up courage may not be available next time.

　　That night, Wen Jianing suffered from insomnia for a long time. As for whether Lu Jinlang was well asleep, he didn’t know. It was almost in the middle of the night that he could not bear the tiredness and fell asleep, but he was constantly dreaming in his sleep. He dreamed that he was arguing with Lu Jinlang. Later, Lu Jinlang said: Since you are Wen Jianing, let’s break up. Then he woke up and found that it was still dark. He slept for less than four hours.

　　After opening his eyes for a while, Wen Jianing pretended to be asleep again, rolled over inadvertently, leaned gently against Lu Jinlang’s side, and touched Lu Jinlang’s shoulder with his forehead.

　　After a while, Lu Jinlang raised his hand to embrace him, but Wen Jianing didn’t know whether he was asleep or awake.

　　Later, he seemed to fall asleep in a daze. When he woke up, Wen Jianing saw that Lu Jinlang was already sitting on the bed and was talking on the phone.

　　Seeing him open his eyes, Lu Jinlang got out of bed with his mobile phone and walked towards the balcony.

　　During the phone call, Lu Jinlang only gave a soft “um” twice.

　　Wen Jianing sat up, leaning his back against the head of the bed.

　　After a while, Lu Jinlang walked in from the balcony. With the cool air in the morning, he walked to the bed and sat down, gently touched Wen Jianing’s face, and said, “You’ve woken up?”

　　Wen Jianing was puzzled. He raised his hand and put it on the back of Lu Jinlang’s hand and said, “Is that Yunan on the phone?”

　　Lu Jinlang did not answer him, but said, “Do you want to take a bath? I’m ready to go down for breakfast.”

　　Wen Jianing grabbed Lu Jinlang’s hand tightly, “Is that Yunan? What did he say?”

　　Lu Jinlang’s face sank slightly.

　　Wen Jianing saw his expression and suddenly realized that he was trying to avoid it. He realized in a daze. Lu Jinlang didn’t know it, but he was trying to deny it, because who he liked is not the mature man who was two years older than him, but who he liked is the young, beautiful and youthful newcomers in the entertainment industry.

　　The young man who has just entered the entertainment industry is clear and pure, just like Yan Ruowei at the beginning. The longer he was in this business, the more things he was contaminated with, and it will make Lu Jinlang gradually lose interest, just like Yan ruowei he saw later.

　　Regardless of the reason, at one point, Wen Jianing is definitely not a person Lu Jinlang would like.

　　Wen Jianing was restraining himself from getting angry, but he grabbed Lu Jinlang’s hand tighter and tighter, and finally threw it away forcefully, saying, “You don’t have to escape reality. What did Yunan tell you just now? You believed me now, didn’t you?”

　　Lu Jinlang looked at him in silence, and then said after a while, “I hope I don’t have believe it.”

　　Lu Yunan is very reliable. He didn’t sleep all night and drove back to help Lu Jinlang find out a lot of news he wanted to know, and even went to the Red Forest Bar where Ke Xinhang was once performed. There, he heard the same message from many people who had been with Ke Xinhang before, that is, before he participated in the competition, his personality suddenly changed a lot.

　　In the past, Ke Xinhang was a bit cold and arrogant, introverted, preferred to sing and play the guitar, and liked to sing original songs written by himself and unpopular English songs. He was completely different from Ke Xinhang they see on TV now. Including the competition, his personality has completely.

　　Lu Yunan also asked Su Shan, the boss of Red Forest. Su Shan didn’t say anything, but Lu Yunan tentatively asked if Ke Xinhang was no longer the Ke Xinhang of the past. Su Shan just raised his head and looked at him deeply, without denying anything.

　　There is still nothing to prove that Ke Xinhang next to Lu Jinlang is actually Wen Jianing, but at this point, Lu Jinlang is more convinced than he is not. It comes down to the fact that he knows his lover well and he doesn’t think he’s crazy or lying.

　　Wen Jianing felt a little hurt because Lu Jinlang was unwilling to accept it. He found that he was thinking everything will go easily. He originally thought that when the two of them were together, because he was himself from beginning to end. Lu Jinlang would not resist, and could accept it more easily.

　　They didn’t argue, they didn’t know what to argue for.

　　Lu Jinlang said, “It’s time to get up, there is still shooting today.”

　　So Wen Jianing got up and went to the bathroom.

　　When he stood in front of the mirror, he thought that even if he was disfigured, maybe it would be easier for Lu Jinlang to accept him.

　　Today’s filming went very poorly. The reason was that the director was in a bad state. He stared at Wen Jianing several times in a daze, as if he had forgotten what he was doing.

　　And Lu Jinlang seems to be looking at another Wen Jianing through another Wen Jianing. There may be some ambiguity in saying this, but he can’t help but recall the Wen Jianing he knew in the past.

　　The two of them have known each other for a long time. They have developed in this industry and have friends of their own, but they have little exchange with each other. Occasionally when they saw each other, they nodded and shook hands, and acted like an old friend to the world outside. But when there were only two of them in private, the atmosphere was cold and there was nothing to say.

　　Lu Jinlang couldn’t accept it, Wen Jianing felt it, but he didn’t understand it completely.

　　The original Wen Jianing is handsome and elegant, and is outstanding as a man. And Lu Jinlang, who loves men by nature, certainly does have a favourable impression on men like him. But as an adult, Lu Jinlang knows how to control feelings. There are not so many love at first sight in this world, and no matter how good and beautiful a man is, as long as Lu Jinlang judges it as impossible, he won’t have even more thoughts, because it’s meaningless.

　　He likes newcomers who are new to the entertainment industry. It is one thing to be pure and simple. But it is more important to him that he can measure all the things that could happen instead of finding himself involved in an intractable situation.

　　In the past, Wen Jianing was someone that Lu Jinlang had never thought of, and that there would never be a beginning between them. This has nothing to do with whether Wen Jianing is older than Lu Jinlang or whether he has been contaminated with the vulgarity of the entertainment industry.

　　However, now the two of them have stopped talking to each other, so Wen Jianing will not know what Lu Jinlang thinks. He just thinks based on what he sees and what he hears.

　　What made it hard for Lu Jinlang to accept was that he thought Wen Jianing and Ke Xinhang were two people. What the other party said now is equivalent to telling him once and for all that I am not the one you originally loved, but it’s another person.

　　Even if he knew and accepted Ke Xinhang’s body that had always been Wen Jianing’s soul, as long as he thought of Wen Jianing, he still felt that he was another person, and he could not think of them as the same person.

　　It’s not that he doesn’t love him anymore, he just feels angry and resistant. If he says it at the beginning, or never says it, things might not be this way now.

　　Lu Jinlang is indeed a mature and stable man, but no one is invincible in the face of emotions.

Notes:
Additional updates for the kofis I received! I was gonna post this few days late than usual for the suspense but hey someone decided to buy me a coffee (☆ｗ☆) I really appreciate the support!

I just can’t with double negative…..

The biggest reason why Lu Jinlang (in my understanding) doesn’t want to be entangled with Wen Jianing is simply because he doesn’t want any troubles. The more established someone is, the more attention they’ll attract, and that means that when something happened, the bigger the trouble he is going to face, he was afraid that he can’t handle things if he got together with someone who is already established. I guess that’s why for him newcomer with no reputation like Ke Xinhang is a safer choice.