SAYE

“Let’s go,” Gu Fei said. “Son of a gun, let’s go get your admission letter.

Author: Wu Zhe, Translated by Ami <3

     662 points.

     When Gu Fei announced the number out loud, Jiang Cheng’s brain emptied for a brief moment from the sudden relaxing of tensions.

     He sat on the edge of the bed and spaced out for almost twenty seconds before slowly regaining his ability for thought.

     It was enough—higher even than Jiang Cheng’s own estimate. After all, he had done his fair share of skipping class, fighting, and general fooling around in the early days. All those times he crammed in the days leading up to tests, he was only relying on some cleverness. An atypical overachiever was no match for your stereotypical overachievers. A score like this was entirely satisfactory.

     Not to mention, based on the scores in their province from the past few years, it wouldn’t be a problem to get into the school and program he wanted.

     The words he’d said to Shen Yiqing, “I can prove myself, no matter where I am”, had finally been realized. He wasn’t just talking out of his ass.

     Even though Shen Yiqing wouldn’t know this—nor was he planning to let her know—it was enough for himself that he knew this. It was what he wanted this whole time.

     “Cheng-ge.” Gu Fei called out to him, pulling his thoughts back to reality. 

     “Mmn.” Jiang Cheng lifted his gaze at him.

     “Congratulations,” Gu Fei said. “Your efforts weren’t in vain.”

     “Your hard work all this time wasn’t in vain.” Jiang Cheng reached over and gently caressed Gu Fei’s face. “Thank you.”

     “Don’t force me to say you’re welcome,” Gu Fei said.

     “You’ve worked hard, boyfriend.” Jiang Cheng smiled.

     “All in the service of my boyfriend.” Gu Fei squeezed Jiang Cheng’s hand.

     “Check your score.” Jiang Cheng looked at the computer screen. “Hurry, let’s see what you got.”

     “I’m probably somewhere in the 300s—doesn’t make a difference either way.” Gu Fei turned to the screen and started typing in his examinee number. “I was thinking before that mine is probably just your score divided by two.”

     “I never heard of this kind of estimation.” Jiang Cheng smiled.

     “Innovative, right?” Gu Fei typed in his number and clicked.

     In the moment when the page was loading, Jiang Cheng suddenly felt a little difficulty breathing. He felt even more nervous than when waiting for his own score. He could feel through his elbow propped on his knees that his legs were shaking slightly. 

     Gu Fei’s score wouldn’t be very high—he had used his class time to play two whole years of idiotic Aixiaochu. Even if he had spent the last few months accompanying Jiang Cheng in his studies, it wasn’t a systematic review. A normal estimate would put his score in the 300s, if he performed as usual… 

     Still, he was anxious. The page was loading—the laptop was a little laggy, and the display a little slow. Jiang Cheng waited for a fraction of a second before he gave up and put his forehead against Gu Fei’s shoulder.

     He couldn’t bear to watch.

     A few seconds later, Gu Fei’s shoulder shook a couple times.

     “What is it?” Jiang Cheng didn’t move. He kept his forehead on Gu Fei’s shoulder.

     Gu Fei didn’t speak as he continued to laugh.

     “Gu Fei you ass!” Jiang Cheng yelled.

     “I got over 400,” Gu Fei said. “It’s just that this number is kind of funny.”

     Over 400? Jiang Cheng arched his brows. Based on last year’s statistics, this score was more than enough to make it into any of the third-tier universities. He swiftly turned to look at the total score displayed on the screen.

     419? [1]

     “Fuck.” Jiang Cheng said.

     “Isn’t it?” Gu Fei laughed as he said.

     “Your Language Art score is pretty good! And your Humanities Comprehensive isn’t too bad either.” Jiang Cheng’s attention had immediately shifted away. “If it wasn’t for Math… and this English…”

     “I didn’t think my math score would go above 30.” Gu Fei smiled. “This is already me overperforming.”

     Gu Fei’s Language Arts score was 128, but the two subjects of math and English dragged it down too much. These weren’t things that he could make up for just from a few months of studying with      Jiang Cheng.

     Although as a whole, with everything else Gu Fei was busy doing in these months, it was already pretty great that he was able to get this score from just occasionally quizzing Jiang Cheng or flipping through his notes from time to time.

     Jiang Cheng stood up, walked up behind Gu Fei, and bent down to hug him. Then he nuzzled his head in the crook of Gu Fei’s neck.

     “You should give Lao-Xu a call.” Gu Fei reached back and gently squeezed the back of Jiang Cheng’s neck. “He must be waiting for you to call him. Or else he’s gonna call back real soon.”

     “Mhm.” Jiang Cheng answered.

     This year, the Number One Scholar of the Humanities Exams in their province had gotten 664. Jiang Cheng’s score of 662 didn’t allow Lao-Xu to experience what it felt like to be the homeroom teacher of the Number One Scholar, though it was probably the highest score he’d seen since he started teaching at Fourth High. Lao-Xu was so thrilled that he couldn’t even speak properly. Every time he thought about it he would give Jiang Cheng a call to marvel at the result. It almost felt like he could retire and end his teaching career right then and have no regrets.

     For the next few days, Jiang Cheng’s phone rang off the hook.

     There were calls from his classmates, teachers, the principal, the school directors, the school board, and from student enrollment offices. Even going out to get breakfast, he would be recognized by the breakfast stall owner. 

     “Are you that student, Jiang Cheng? The one who got the highest score in the whole city on the University Entrance Exams? The Jiang Cheng who’s the top five or top ten of the province or something?”

     “Uh huh,” Jiang Cheng answered. “I’d like a tray of meat buns…”

     “Hahahahaha, see that!” The owner gleefully rested his hands on his hips akimbo. “The Number One Scholar in the city got there by eating breakfast at my stall every day! My breakfast nourishes the brain!”

     “And tofu pudding…” Jiang Cheng continued helplessly.

     “That’s right! Tofu pudding also nourishes the brain!” The owner continued gloating. [2]

     “Fried…” Jiang Cheng was cut off before he could finish.

     “Fried dough fritters and fried pancakes are also…” The owner kept on.

     “Double portions to go!” Jiang Cheng raised his voice and also cut him off.

     “No problemo!” The owner started to pack up his food. “Today’s breakfast is on the house, Top Scholar!”

     When he came back to his apartment, Jiang Cheng took his phone out and turned it off.

     “What if someone is looking for you?” Gu Fei asked.

     “There’s not much left to do. It’s just the teachers at the enrollment offices who keep calling. The entry scores are about to come out and it’s time for applications—they’re all gunning for recruitment,” Jiang Cheng said. “I’ve already decided where I’m going a long time ago, there’s no use playing tug-of-war with them at this point.”

     “Have you told Lao-Xu?” Gu Fei asked.

     “… I guess I’ll tell him now.” Jiang Cheng thought about it and turned his phone back on, then looked at Gu Fei. “I want to go the the Law program at R University.”

     “Ah.” Gu Fei blinked at him.

     Jiang Cheng stared at the power on screen on his phone. It was the first time he talked to Gu Fei about the school he wanted to go to. For some reason, he felt an inexplicable sense of anxiety after he said it out loud.

     “You’d decided on this before?” Gu Fei asked.

     “Mhm.” Jiang Cheng nodded. “I’d thought about it in middle school. It’s something I’m interested in, and I like the idea of having a solid skill in hand.”

     “Good.” Gu Fei pulled him into his arms. “A top program is better than a top school, right?”

     Jiang Cheng smiled as he turned and kissed Gu Fei.

     Lao-Xu had a hard time wrapping his head around Jiang Cheng’s decision—he attempted to verify with Jiang Cheng multiple times, “You can get into B University with this score. You really don’t want to go?”

     “No.” Jiang Cheng said.

     “But B University’s Humanities programs are the best in the country,” Lao-Xu said. “You’re really not going to consider it?”

     “R University has the best Law program,” Jiang Cheng said. “Really Xu-zong. I’m not going to consider B University. If my score is over the entry threshold I’ll just apply to R University directly.”

     “Alright then, alright. The best program is certainly important.” Lao-Xu thought about it some more. “You know what you’re doing, kid. Xu-zong supports you! Either way, wherever you go, you’ll always be my most promising student!”

     “Xu-zong,” Jiang Cheng gave a little smile, “I’m going to keep my phone off for the next little while. If anyone else from other schools ask, can you talk to them for me?”

     “Sure sure, alright,” Lao-Xu answered. Then he added after a little thought, “Ah Jiang Cheng, you’re pretty close with Gu Fei, right?”

     “Mhm,” Jiang Cheng glanced at Gu Fei beside him, “what is it?”

     “I checked his score,” Lao-Xu said. “He can get into a third-tier no problem. It’s just that… third-tier schools all have high tuition. I’m worried about his family’s situation… If he has any trouble, both Teacher Lu and I can help him think of something. If I talk to him, he’ll refuse for sure. So I’m wondering if you can talk to him—see what he’s thinking.”

     After ending the call with Lao-Xu, Jiang Cheng turned his phone off and set it on the table before breathing out a sigh of relief. “All quiet now.”

     “What does Lao-Xu want you to talk to me about?” Gu Fei asked.

     “He said third-tier schools have high tuition rates, so if it’s difficult for you to bear… he and Lao-Lu can help think of something.” Jiang Cheng looked at him.

     “He thinks I’ll refuse, so he asked you to come talk to me first?” Gu Fei smiled.

     “Mhm.” Jiang Cheng sighed. He had actually considered this problem before,  but didn’t manage to ask it out loud. Lao-Xu said he knew what he was doing, but Gu Fei was the one who really knew what he was doing. For almost twenty years he had handled his own life. How he wanted to do something and how to go about it—Gu Fei’s thought process on that was clearer than anyone’s. “Though I feel like it doesn’t make much of a difference whether I talk to you about it or not.”

     “Cheng-ge,” Gu Fei pinched Jiang Cheng’s chin, “do you trust me?”

     “I do,” Jiang Cheng answered without thinking.

     “If I want to, I can also prove myself, no matter where I am,” Gu Fei said.

     “Mmn.” Jiang Cheng looked at him and nodded.

     Jiang Cheng didn’t ask about Gu Fei’s decision again. He didn’t know whether Lao-Xu had gone to talk to Gu Fei again either.

     Although he’d already guessed what Gu Fei’s decision was. With Gu Fei’s personality, he would never accept any kind of “think of something”. In the last almost twenty years of his life, he had only himself. If he could deal with something on his own, then he dealt with it on his own—it was already a habit.

     If he couldn’t handle a high tuition, then he would find a school where he could afford the tuition.

     Jiang Cheng knew that whatever choice Gu Fei made, he would not interfere, nor would he feel sorry for him or lament his choice.

     That was the sort of person Gu Fei was. If ever he was willing to open his eyes, he would be invincible.

     When it came to his boyfriend, Jiang Cheng felt like he needn’t even blink when singing his praises—he could blurt out an entire essay with a perfect score without even missing a beat.

     Jiang Cheng didn’t turn his phone back on until after he submitted his application.

     He spent every day with Gu Fei, just like before. They would take some jobs, take some pictures, eat, sleep, and walk Gu Miao.

     The days had gone by with nothing of significance happening. The peaceful days should’ve gone by very slowly, except this time, time felt more like a gust of wind—he only scrunched up his eyes as it came, and already it had passed.

     There was no suspense to Jiang Cheng’s application—he went with where he wanted to go. Gu Fei’s application made Lao-Xu a little sad. He had foregone the third-tier universities and applied to a Normal School.

     Jiang Cheng thought that there was nothing wrong with his boyfriend’s decision. The tuition was low at that school, and there was financial aid to boot. He would also have a stable job upon graduation. The most important point was that the school wasn’t very far from Gu Fei’s home. They had even passed by a couple of times when they went prowling around town—the campus was pretty large.

     “How did you go about telling Lao-Xu?” Jiang Cheng asked. “He must’ve thought it a shame. He must not have given up without a hundred rounds of back and forth, huh?”

     “I said I want to be a good teacher like him,” Gu Fei leaned forward on the windowsill with a cigarette in his mouth, “and he suddenly couldn’t go on.”

     Jiang Cheng burst out laughing from his nest on the sofa. “You really are too much.”

     “It’s true—words of utmost sincerity,” Gu Fei said. “A college diploma is enough to teach middle school around here…”

     “Teacher Gu will specialize in conquering all sorts of rebels.” Jiang Cheng cracked up.

     The two of them laughed together for a while, then eventually they both fell quiet.

     With his one sentence, Gu Fei had drawn two parallel lines.

     Jiang Cheng slumped on the sofa with his legs on the coffee table, and his eyes staring blankly at the TV. He wasn’t thinking about anything, his mind was completely empty of thoughts. He didn’t even know what was playing on TV.

     Though he could sense the slightest stir from Gu Fei’s side.

     The guy had smoked three cigarettes, drank almost a whole glass of water, and went to the bathroom once.

     “Cheng-ge.” Gu Fei sat down beside Jiang Cheng.

     “I don’t feel like talking right now.” Jiang Cheng stared at the TV. “Don’t worry about me, I’m just gonna space out for a while.”

     “Mhm.” Gu Fei didn’t keep talking. He sat beside Jiang Cheng and stared at the TV with him.

     Jiang Cheng continued staring until his eyes started to feel dry, and he was so hungry that he felt a little nauseous. He grabbed the remote, turned off the TV, and turned to look at Gu Fei.

     “Hm?” Gu Fei turned to him as well. “Hungry?”

     “There will be a way.” Jiang Cheng said.

     “Mhm.” Gu Fei nodded.

     “Even if we can’t think of it right now, there will be a way in the future,” Jiang Cheng said. “Even if there’s no way, even if we have to keep going back and forth between two places for the rest of our lives, that’s also not a big deal.”

     “Mhm.” Gu Fei looked at him.

     “Think of it as me being shameless if you want,” Jiang Cheng frowned, “but no one is allowed to let go.”

     “Mhm.” Gu Fei nodded.

     Jiang Cheng knew the problem could not be solved with only a childish perseverance, it was far from enough. However, the only thing they could do at the moment was childish perseverance. And so they would persevere.

     He did not continue discussing the matter any further with Gu Fei—nothing would come of it anyway. Besides, the days were passing by way too quickly. So quickly that they only had time to celebrate another joint birthday together before it was over.

     His admission letter arrived.

     Lao-Xu’s call came in on Gu Fei’s phone, “That son of a gun Jiang Cheng! Is he addicted to having his phone off! Does he not want his admission letter!”

     “Let’s go,” Gu Fei said. “Son of a gun, let’s go get your admission letter.

     It was Jiang Cheng’s first time coming back to Fourth High after the exams.

     There were red horizontal banners hung on both walls next to the front gate of the school: Top Scholar of the City; Top 10 in the Province; Student Jiang Cheng. After all, it was an incident worthy of being written into the history of Fourth High, so they pulled out all the stops.

     “What the shit.” After looking at the banners, Jiang Cheng froze upon entering the gate. The glass display case inside the gates was also covered in a sea of red. He had come to terms with the banners and posters, but there was a gigantic blown-up photo of him inside the display case. “That’s me?”

     “Uh huh.” Gu Fei took one look and started laughing. “Yes, student Jiang Cheng.”

     “What the shit, did they use the photo I gave them for my student ID? They could’ve used the ones from the basketball games! Why use this one!” Jiang Cheng was instantly extremely displeased. “It’s so fugly!”

     “Not at all.” Gu Fei quickly pulled out his phone and snapped a bunch of pictures of the display case. “Very handsome. The only ones who can manage to take such good looking ID photos are the two of us, and no one else.”

     “Do you have shame? You had to tag yourself along even when complimenting someone else?” Jiang Cheng glanced at him, then after a moment of thought, still couldn’t let it go. “Can I talk to the school about switching out the picture? Maybe get one of yours?”

     “Cheng-ge how are you so… vain?” Gu Fei couldn’t stop laughing. “Who in Fourth High doesn’t know that you’re handsome?”

     Jiang Cheng glared at him without a word.

     “Alright fine, we’ll go talk to Lao-Xu about it,” Gu Fei said. “I’ll just blow up one of my photos of you and give it to the school myself, how’s that?”

     “Alright,” Jiang Cheng said.

     It might be summer break, but cram school had already started. The whole way from the front gates to Lao-Xu’s office, Jiang Cheng received a great number of praises, commendations, and looks.

     It was only then, only in the moment when he accepted the admissions letter from Lao-Xu’s hands, did Jiang Cheng feel a final sense of reality about his University Entrance Exams.

     “Let me see… Good news! Congratulations on your admittance to our school’s law program…” Gu Fei took the admissions letter and read it intently. “Law major… sounds very impressive huh, Cheng-ge.”

     “It’s very impressive in reality too!” Lao-Xu was a little excited. “Come on Da-Fei, why don’t you take a picture of me and Jiang Cheng. Use my cell phone. Here Jiang Cheng, hold your admissions letter.”

     Despite thinking that taking a picture like this was more than a little silly, still Jiang Cheng stood beside Lao-Xu and held up his admissions letter in front of him.

     Lao-Xu took a long time to smooth out his clothes. “Ready.”

     Gu Fei took a photo of them with Lao-Xu’s phone.

     “Xu-zong, it’s about time for you to get a new phone,” he said when he handed the phone back to Lao-Xu. “I take a picture with your cell phone, and it looks like it was taken with a wired phone.”

     “Oh you nag, I was just about to buy a new phone. It’s a joyful occasion after all!” Lao-Xu thought about it for a second. “How about you take another one with your phone and send it to me.”

     “Ah…” Jiang Cheng sighed. He had no choice but to hold up the admissions letter once again and crack open his mouth.

     Coming back to the apartment after getting his admissions letter, Jiang Cheng lay on the bed and breathed out. Everything seemed to be settling into place.

     Gu Fei sat down beside him with the admissions package, looked through it multiple times backwards and forwards, and still didn’t put it down. Before that, he’d even set up some props and took a few pictures with his camera.

     “Little bunbun,” Jiang Cheng touched his leg, “what exactly are you looking at?”

     “I’m looking at how fucking impressive my boyfriend is,” Gu Fei said. “This admissions package from your R University even looks extremely fancy.”

     “Your boyfriend is right here.” Jiang Cheng pointed at himself. “To see how fucking impressive I am, wouldn’t it be great if you’d turn around and look at the real thing.”

     Gu Fei put down the admissions package, turned to look at Jiang Cheng, and after a long time finally smiled and said, “Cheng-ge.”

     “Hmm?” Jiang Cheng put his leg on Gu Fei’s and rubbed them together.

     “Have I ever told you,” Gu Fei said. “That you are my pride.”

     Jiang Cheng stared at him. He stared for at least two minutes before he finally spoke, “Come here, let me have a bite.”

     Gu Fei lay down beside Jiang Cheng, who rolled over and hugged Gu Fei tight before giving Gu Fei a very intent bite on the shoulder. He could feel like it was a hard bite. Gu Fei sucked in a breath.

     “I can just hand you a knife so you can cut it directly—saves you the trouble of biting,” Gu Fei said.

     “You are my back.” Jiang Cheng said.

     Gu Fei’s admission letter came much later. Jiang Cheng only had a few more days to go before he had to register at the school, when Lao-Xu finally called, “Your admissions letter! Is here!”

     Jiang Cheng also looked through the admissions package backwards and forwards multiple times. He finally understood why Gu Fei did the same that day. It was satisfying. Anything related to the boyfriend was endlessly satisfying to look through.

     “Chinese major.” Jiang Cheng took a bunch of pictures of the admissions letter with his phone. “Amazing, Teacher Gu.”

     “Li Yan said to go out to eat together tomorrow,” Gu Fei said as he laughed. “He mentioned it before when the scores came out, but I didn’t say yes. Now that the admissions have arrived and you’ll have to go register soon, shall we go eat together?”

     “Mhm.” At the mention of the word “register”, Jiang Cheng felt a complicated mix of emotions. However, since they had come to a decision already, he didn’t continue to think about it further. “Let’s go. I feel like I haven’t seen him and the others this whole summer.”

     “Seeing me is enough,” Gu Fei said.

     “That’s right.” Jiang Cheng leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose.

     This meal was something of a two-in-one deal: a celebration of them receiving their admissions letters, and a send-off party for Jiang Cheng.

     Compared to the farewell dinner before, there was no atmosphere of emotional parting during a meal with Li Yan and ‘Not A Good Bird’. They ate meat, drank alcohol, and were generally merry. Jiang Cheng felt like the meal satisfied his body and mind.

     Li Yan and the others had come together and bought a very nice looking suitcase for Jiang Cheng as a gift. There was even a very thoughtful bow on top.

     Jiang Cheng rolled the suitcase back to his apartment, and once again felt a sense of panic at the parting.

     “What am I gonna do?” He looked at Gu Fei.

     “What do you mean what are you gonna do?” Gu Fei blinked.

     “I’m a little… scared.” Jiang Cheng wrapped his arms around Gu Fei. “I suddenly don’t wanna go to registration.”

     “Fine, you can redo the exams next year,” Gu Fei said. “Let’s have another year of endless studying days and nights?”

     “Fuck off.” Jiang Cheng tutted.

     “Don’t be scared.” Gu Fei smiled and held Jiang Cheng tight, rubbing his hands over his back. “Cheng-ge’s the best. Cheng-ge’s not scared of anything. I’m still right here, when you’re scared you can reach back and touch me.”

     “Mhm.” Jiang Cheng closed his eyes.

     “Besides, I’ll be taking you there,” Gu Fei said. “What’s there to be scared of? I can beat up your roommates to start, then you won’t be scared anymore.”

     “Dumbass.” Jiang Cheng started laughing.

     Gu Fei laughed idiotically along with him.

     Jiang Cheng rested his chin on Gu Fei’s shoulder as he gave into the laughter. But slowly, he started to feel a twinge in his nose. Then all of a sudden, he accidentally let a careless tear slip down his face.

Footnote:

[1]: Eh, I had to look this up. It’s a silly English pun: 419 = for one night, as in one-night-stands.. 
[2]: Tofu pudding [豆腐脑] translated literally is “tofu brains”