Second Hand Love Letter

As soon as he finished saying that, the green light came on.

The stagnant traffic flowed forward.

Lu Yong knew that he had made an absolutely wrong move, solemnly held his breath, and stiffly remedied, “Don’t get me wrong, I am not throwing the responsibility on you, it is my own decision…”

“I mean, didn’t you have a dog before? Won’t it evoke some touching memories?”

“No, I just don’t think it’s a good idea to have a dog at the moment. I don’t mean anything else.”

The more he talked, the more chaotic the words became, and the more mistakes were made.

Shen Wenqiu said, “Alright, alright. I know it’s very inconvenient for me to stay at your house. After all, it is easy to send a dog away, but it is not that simple to open your mouth to drive people away.”

Lu Yong was even more anxious, “I didn’t say you got in the way.”

“Well. You didn’t say that.” Shen Wenqiu replied nonchalantly.

Is he angry? Or did he not take it in his heart? Lu Yong sighed in his heart, every time he was in front of Shen Wenqiu, he would uncontrollably confuse himself.

Lu Yong thought for a while. He tried to save the steadily decreasing temperature and changed the subject. He then asked, “I remember, you used to raise a Samoyed before.”

Lu Yong remembered that the dog raised by Shen Wenqiu was a Samoyed with excellent appearance, white and soft long hair, and was raised very beautifully, a docile and well-behaved girl.

…

He also wanted to see Shen Wenqiu on the weekend that year, but he didn’t dare to visit without an invitation, so he strolled around his neighborhood. Before long, he met Shen Wenqiu.

Shen Wenqiu walked in the sunny shade of the trees, with one hand wrapped around the dog leash, and his other hand was eating popsicles. When he saw him, he dragged the dog and trotted to him. “Dayong, are you here to play with me?”

Lu Yong wanted to lie and said that he happened to be passing by here, but he really didn’t know how to speak, he nodded and said “En” in a harsh voice.

Shen Wenqiu smiled at him, and he suddenly felt that all his tenderness had melted in those clear and beautiful smiling eyes.

Shen Wenqiu handed the milk ice cream to his mouth without disdain, and babbled, “You are sweating, do you want to eat popsicles? I’m going to share the popsicles for you to cool down.”

Lu Yong looked at the tooth marks on the soft surface of the ice cream, and then at Shen Wenqiu’s moist lips, his heart was pounding, his mouth became dry, his face and his ears were red. He couldn’t help thinking, if he kissed Shen Wenqiu now, it would taste like milk ice cream, right?

Shen Wenqiu also seemed to feel that the atmosphere had become awkward, and he was also a little uncomfortable, he then said, “It doesn’t seem to be hygienic… I’ll buy you one more.”

Lu Yong said, “I’ll just buy it myself.”

Shen Wenqiu nodded, “Then I’ll bring you to buy.”

Lu Yong asked, “Is this your dog?”

“Yes.” Shen Wenqiu said happily, and the dog sat upright beside Shen Wenqiu, raising its head as if it had understood, and let out an appropriate “Woof”.

“Good girl.” Shen Wenqiu touched the dog’s head. He bent down, then squatted down, put his arms around the big snow-white dog, pressed his face onto it, and said, “She’s called ice cream, a two-year-old female, very beautiful, right? Do you want to touch it? I just took her to bathe a few days ago, her fur is fragrant and soft, and it’s comfortable to touch.”

Shen Wenqiu hugged the snow-white Samoyed who was smiling foolishly, Lu Yong’s head was a little dizzy by his adorableness, he suddenly felt that Shen Wenqiu looked like this dog when he laughed. And he would suddenly feel that, no, the dog was still far less lovely than Shen Wenqiu.

Shen Wenqiu, “Touch it, don’t be afraid, she is very good and never bites.”

As soon as the voice fell, Samoyed looked at him, and couldn’t bear it anymore, and ate the ice cream not far from its mouth.

Both of them were stunned.

Shen Wenqiu laughed loudly.

…

Lu Yong clumsily found there’s nothing else to say: “I remember it was a female dog, called ice cream, isn’t it?”

“Uh… have you given it away?”

Shen Wenqiu said abruptly, “She’s dead.”

“After my family went bankrupt, I gave her to be raised by others. I heard from the owner that she found an opportunity to escape by herself and was hit and killed by a car on the road near my old house.”

Lu Yong, “…I’m sorry.”

Shen Wenqiu laughed in a low voice, “You are not the one who killed her, why did you apologize?”

“Huh?” Shen Wenqiu suddenly sat up straight, and said, “We’re here, why are you in a daze? You’ve driven past it.”

Lu Yong recovered, “I’ll find a parking space.”

–

They could see it in plain sight that the dog seemed to have recovered at a very fast rate. When it saw Lu Yong coming, he immediately stood up, wagged his tail, and barked happily, “Woof, woof.”

Shen Wenqiu said, “This means that it likes you.”

Lu Yong was caught off guard when he heard the word “like” from Shen Wenqiu’s mouth, his heartbeat like a conditioned reflex, and then calmed down. “Ah, is that so?”

The dirty hair that was originally knotted on the small Pekinese’s body had been cut, and now it had uneven hair and a few pieces of skin with skin diseases were exposed like it was balding. It looked ugly, even the only pair of black grape-like eyes that were barely beautiful had heavy tear stains because of illness.

Shen Wenqiu laughed at him, “It’s so ugly. Hahaha.”

The small Pekinese got angry, “Woof.”

The two went to eat together again, at the same crayfish restaurant they went to the last time.

Shen Wenqiu peeled off two shrimps and was accidentally pricked by crab claws. Lu Yong frowned and said, “I’ll peel it for you, you just eat it.”

It so happened that there was a couple at the next table and the guy was peeling for the girl.

“No. You eat your own.” Shen Wenqiu raised his head and glanced at Lu Yong in surprise. Lu Yong knew the meaning of rejection in his eyes and silently retracted his hand.

After eating, Shen Wenqiu wiped his mouth and said, “You usually live so frugally, are you wasting money for me now?”

Lu Yong said, “This is still affordable…”

Shen Wenqiu took the tissue and swept the messy shrimp shells on the table into the empty bowl, and wiped the dirt and oil stains. Wiping it clean, Shen Wenqiu balled up the tissues, threw them into the bowl, and said, “Let’s go.”

There was a small river nearby, with faint lights on both sides. They walked back along the river.

Shen Wenqiu said, “Lu Yong, raise that dog.”

It seems Xiao Baa doesn’t dislike that dog very much. Lu Yong said.

“Let’s talk about it later.” Lu Yong said cautiously, “We still don’t know if its illness can be cured by now.”

Shen Wenqiu took out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket. He skillfully shook one out of the opened gap, held it in his mouth, and lit it in front of Lu Yong. 

He took a puff of a cigarette, then opened his mouth slightly, gray and white smoke gushing out as if a hazy curtain was spread out between them. Shen Wenqiu seemed to lift his thick black eyelashes under the veil. His cheeks were not as full and bright as when he was a boy, he was thin and haggard, and his eyes were dull and gloomy, like some kind of inorganic gem. His shoulders and neck were drooping and looked so fragile that he was afraid that he would be broken at the slightest touch.

Shen Wenqiu said, “I’ll go find some work in a few days and move away. It’s not a good thing to stay with you all the time. You have your life and I have mine.”

Lu Yong, “It’s not so easy to find a job based on your current situation, I think… If you are looking for a job, I can also help you figure out a solution.”

“Don’t bother. I’m not saying I’m going to work.” Shen Wenqiu glanced at him, snorted frivolously, and said, “President Lu, I have my way, we just aren’t on the same path. Do you still not understand?”

Lu Yong didn’t want to let him go, he pursed his lips tightly, his cheek muscles became tighter, and after a long time he said, “I don’t understand.”

Shen Wenqiu: “Do you smoke?”

Lu Yong: “I don’t.”

Just after speaking, Shen Wenqiu took the cigarette that had been smoked into half from his lips, turned around, and suddenly stuffed the end of the filter into Lu Yong’s mouth.

Lu Yong was stunned. He held down himself and sat motionless, holding the cigarette in his mouth, and didn’t know if he should smoke it or not.

This is the cigarette Shen Wenqiu smoked. Lu Yong thought.

Shen Wenqiu succeeded in his prank, smiled, and looked at him with interest. “How are you feeling? Try to take a puff and see.”

Lu Yong took a sip.

The pungent taste of tobacco filled his mouth after the tobacco burned. He swallowed it forcibly and choked. “Cough.”

The first indirect kiss was the smell of tobacco.

Shen Wenqiu gloated and laughed at him, “Hahahaha. How come you can’t even smoke cigarettes, don’t you usually smoke for social gatherings?”

Lu Yong squeezed the cigarette and held it between his fingers: “Smoking is not necessary. People do business with me for my patents and technology, not for whether I can smoke or not. Usually in the company for the sake of the office environment, we ban smoking. But there is a smoking area, they can go there if they want to have to smoke.”

He was in turmoil, and he talked a lot to cover it up.

After speaking, he went back to the original topic.

Shen Wenqiu laughed enough, and gradually kept his smile, and said, “Dayong, you really don’t know my situation at all. After all, we haven’t seen each other in ten years, and our friendship right now is not considered a friendship… I am now shameless, relying on your good-tempered, good-minded, and cheekily eating and drinking with you.”

“Previously, I used to borrow money from my relatives and friends to do business for the family. Basically, I was isolated from my relatives and I’m a person detested by everyone. I can’t pay it back as well, just look at how bad I am now. “

“You give me money, it’s like flinging a meat bun to a dog. It’ll never return.”

Lu Yong exhaled a deep breath from his nose, frowned, and said stiffly, “Don’t say it like that.”

“I’m telling the truth.” Shen Wenqiu said shamelessly, “I see that you are very stupid, and do not know at all what kind of trouble you have taken in.”

“Do you know how much money I owe?”

Lu Yong asked very seriously, “How much?”

Shen Wenqiu said, “Take off the scraps, it’s almost 110 million.”

Shen Wenqiu stared closely at Lu Yong’s face, and finally saw Lu Yong’s calm expression change, revealing a look of shock and incredibleness, and even stopped breathing.

Over the years, he left the ivory tower1 and came to the real adult world.

The truth that Shen Wenqiu understands most is that in front of money, feelings are not worth mentioning. If there are exceptions, it is because the amount is not big enough.

Everyone hopes to make friends with people who make them better, instead of dragging themselves into a quagmire.

“Don’t send out kindness indiscriminately, Lu Yong. Not only am I a bad person, but I’m rotten to the core and can’t be saved. Leave me alone.”

“This is not something you can manage.”

Lu Yong didn’t loosen his brows. He felt that his fingers were being scalded. He lowered his head and found that the cigarette butt had burned to his finger, but there was nowhere to extinguish the cigarette. He could only press the cigarette butt and left his hand hanging helplessly.  The cigarette between the fingers burned out little by little, and the ashes fell.

The sound of a small spark annihilating was almost inaudible.

Lu Yong said, “Indeed, I don’t have that much money.”

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a state of privileged seclusion or separation from the facts and practicalities of the real world.