Shattered Memories

t/n: hihi sorry for the hiatus but i’m back! btw if anyone would like to be an editor, pls dm me on discord (misa#7404). I think I’d be able to work faster with the help :’)

Swish. His hand turning the pages was quite rough. Erhart was expressionless as usual, but his actions showed that he was more sensitive than ever.

For example, a hand swiping the blonde hair flowing down from his forehead, his fingers tapping the table in an irregular rhythm nervously, or the gaze that would unconsciously glance at the balcony while reading a book. In the past, he often went in and out of the balcony and looked out over the sea.

“Your Highness. Can you not concentrate?”

Leah, who was watching him from afar with a nervous face, cautiously spoke to him. As soon as her eyes met Erhart, she blinked in the other direction. Count Aholren, who had been invited to teach history to Erhart, was sweating profusely and smiling to the point that the corners of his mouth cramped.

“You look tired. Your Highness. How about postponing to next time?”

When Leah prompted, Count Aholren was surprised.

In any case, he was a prince who had not yet reached the age of adulthood, and he had an obligation to learn. In Djerba, the Emperor pretended to be on his side but obstructed his learning, but Olivia wanted him to learn many things. Aholren was the person who was invited for that reason.

“I’d rather do that. Count.”

Although he had never listened to him teach so far, he couldn’t deal with it today. Erhart agreed without hesitation.

“May the brilliance of God touch the feet of Your Highness.”

“Your Highness. I’ll be leaving for a while too.”

As soon as he finished his perfunctory greetings, the Count, who looked rather uncomfortable, hurriedly left. Leah followed after him. Erhart, who was alone, lifted himself up from the chair and went out to the balcony.

He felt heavy on the inside.

He counted the date to himself. It’s only three days. Three days. Meanwhile, Rayan did not show his nose. Instead of his black hair and clear green eyes that poked out above the water, he could only see pure white foam and rippling waves.

The first day was understandable.

Because Rayan told him he would come in two days after absurdly saying that he should grow up quickly. It was ridiculous, but since he didn’t have the ability to stop the mermaid who quickly disappeared into the sea after finishing what he had to say, Erhart was going to tell him that there was no need to be so considerate when he came the next day.

It was from the next day that he felt strange.

Rayan was nowhere to be seen. He wondered if he was hiding somewhere, so he called out his name several times and looked for good places where he could have hidden. He looked for him until just before dawn, but he could not find the mermaid with blue-green eyes that twinkled in the starlight. Still, he thought a situation might have come up, but Rayan still didn’t show up.

“…”

As if the other would appear if he stared, Erhart held the railing of the balcony and glared at the sea spread out beyond. As much as he longed for and expected it, it was impossible for the mermaid to show up during the day where the sun could be seen, but it was like a meaningless habit that continued for several days.

“…Rayan.”

Erhart grabbed the railing of the balcony and called out the mermaid’s name in a stifled voice. Then, like a miracle, he would come out of the water and wave his hand. Or so he wished.

Rayan. He muttered his name again. Erhart’s eyes, who were whispering Rayan’s name, opened wide for a moment. Clearly, the waves swayed. Last time he had discovered Rayan in this way. So it couldn’t be a mistake.

""

Without any time to think, Erhart turned around and slammed the bedroom door. Leah, who was returning from seeing the Count off, collided with his shoulder. Erhart couldn’t stop running, even as he watched Leah be pushed back two steps by the recoil of his running power.

“Your Highness! Your Highness!”

When the prince, who did not respond to any invitations and never left the castle, rushed to the front gate without any dignity, the soldiers guarding the gate were in a hurry and opened the way. Erhart didn’t even look at them, and he didn’t slow down. He ran without a break, and his breath ran a little.

Holding back even the desire to catch his breath, he stood on the cliff and confirmed the gleam he had found on the balcony earlier. If it’s clear that he’s been there, he was thinking of going down right away, regardless of other people’s gaze.

“… ”

But when he stood on the cliff, barely holding his breath, all he saw in front of him was the blue waves and the foam crashing into the stone rocks. So, it was an illusion created by his delusion and earnestness.

When he realized it, the collapse he had barely swallowed pulled him down. A strange feeling of weakness wrapped around his legs. Your Highness, Your Highness. He could hear Leah gasping and calling out to him from behind. Erhart didn’t look back, but Leah had narrowed the distance. She touched the throbbing spot where he had bumped into with one hand.

“You were like this last time too, what happened?”

“…”

“Your Highness.”

He looked frustrated. Leah knew that Erhart had been nervous for the past few days and was trying to figure out what could be the cause. He had been so sensitive ever since the day he received Olivia’s greetings, so she was worried inside that it might have touched the prince’s nerves.

“It’s not a big deal.”

Although fully aware of Leah’s concerns and concerns, Erhart turned his back coldly. He glanced up at the sky on the way back to the castle. It was a fleeting glance. Erhart, who straightened his gaze, looked up at the sky and took note of the time.

Erhart, who returned to the castle after causing a not-so-small commotion, kicked Leah, who seemed to have a lot to say, out of the room and locked himself in the bedroom under the pretext of being tired. Instead of wandering around on the balcony again for nothing, he took heavy steps and laid down on the bed.

His eyes were puffy and tired.

At night, he went to the cave to see if Rayan would come, and he continued to hang around until dawn, and even during the day, strangely, he couldn’t sleep even when he closed his eyes. The days he napped for a few days were inconsequential. No, it was normal in the first place, but it was also funny to be unfamiliar with it.

As if tossing himself on a bed large enough to roll over and over again, Erhart closed his eyes, not wanting to think any more, but sleep did not come. The nerves that had not slept for several days were sharp and dangerous as if they were walking with a knife on thin ice.

Erhart’s eyes flashed open as the pieces of negative emotions kept churning through his head.

“Your Highness.”

At the same time, Leah called him from outside.

“Your Highness. The roses are blooming beautifully in the garden. I brewed a cup of your favorite tea. Would you like to enjoy tea time with me today?”

“Your Highness, Your Highness Erhart.”

Her voice was even hoarse.

“Ah. My arms are so sore.”

When he didn’t respond, Leah reminded him that he had bumped into her earlier. Leah, who wouldn’t even exaggerate when her fever was boiling, tried hard to pull him out of his room, who was locked up like a cocoon.

Her plan was quite successful. Erhart grabbed the sensitive emotions that surged out of the room and went out of the bedroom. When he showed up, Leah smiled more comfortably.

“You say you’re hurt, but you smile a lot.”

“When I see you, the pain disappears quickly. Will you have a tea time with me?”

“Let’s do it.”

Leah waved her hands and led him into the garden with the nuance that she would go even if she didn’t feel like it.

After Leah came down to Argen, the garden devoted to her was a sight to behold. It was neat, reflecting her character, and at the same time neat and elegant. The fragrant scent of flowers was in full bloom in the patronage that was not excessive and restrained.

Sweet desserts and rich black tea were prepared on the table that was hastily prepared before they arrived. Originally, it was Erhart’s favorite kind of tea leaves and a snack he had been asking for these days.

“Put this away.”

But as soon as Erhart saw the sweet-smelling cookie, he frowned and waved his hand. Instead of asking him if it weren’t the snacks he had been asking for often these days, Leah wisely spared her words and handed the tray of cookies to the maid, which she removed.

Tea time started in a slightly sharp atmosphere.

“It’s a nice day.”

Leah enjoyed tea time, and Erhart was not very interested but occasionally joined in. When he spoke in this way, he would usually nod his head with a blunt expression on his face and tilt his teacup.

“That’s right. It’s raining.”

However, Erhart did not pay attention to the teacup with the tea leaves he had been pleased with before coming to Argen, nor did he bluntly affirm Leah’s words. But it was sincere. It would have been an excuse if it had been a fine day and the waves of the sea were so calm, but the torrential rain fell and the waves the size of a house engulfed everything.

“Hey, are you going to be so mean?”

“… Leah.”

At her gentle exhortation, Erhart called her like a sigh.

“Is it normal for someone to feel strange and annoyed because something they see every day suddenly disappears?”

Leah realized. Erhart doesn’t have a childish side, he seems bored with everything, so she often forgot, but in fact, he still had a long way from becoming an adult. When he came to Argen and he received Olivia’s letter, it was evident that he had suddenly missed her. While she was in Djerba she saw Olivia glancing at the Emperor and at least once every two days she looked at his face in search of him.

At the same time, it was sad.

The fact that the prince, who didn’t lack access to precious things in the world, had to suffer loss due to this absence.

“Sure. Your Highness. It’s not strange at all.”

Leah quickly said a lot of words that could soothe his heart. She could say anything to Erhart, who was extremely reluctant about the emotions he was experiencing, as long as she could relieve his feelings. As if her efforts were not in vain, his expression became even better than before.

Erhart looked like he was chewing on something, then snorted a little, then took a sip of the tea.

“It’s all cold.”

“Shall I ask them to bring another?”

“Never mi…”

Erhart couldn’t finish his words. A ball of fire stirred inside, and soared. When he looked down, the green lawn was soaked in red blood.

“Y- Your Highness!”

Leah’s shriek could be heard, but it was as if blocked by a single wall. Ah. He heard something like this when Rayan spoke in the water. Erhart grinned at the thought that was not appropriate for this situation, and he stumbled to the floor while shaking his heavy body.