Chapter 53: Discovery

April 28th, 2023

Perhaps because he sensed Fang Li’s unease and avoidance, Xie Huai very considerately didn’t appear the next day. 

Fang Li’s emotions were extremely complicated. 

He felt just like a prisoner on death row. He knew that sooner or later, the executioner’s blade would fall, but as long as the date of his sentence hadn’t been set, he still harbored hopes that fortune would smile upon him, and that day would never come……

After a long time, he laughed bitterly.

Since when had he become so hesitant and indecisive?

But……

If he were really to bring things out into the open with Xie Huai, what if Xie Huai wanted something he couldn’t give?

Whenever he thought about how Xie Huai might feel pain or despair, Fang Li would immediately falter. He still wasn’t willing to hurt him. And moreover, he actually didn’t hate Xie Huai’s closeness……

When Fu Junling came over to pay Fang Li a visit, he only saw him sitting there in a daze, looking dispirited and emitting a melancholy air from his entire body. Immediately, Fu Junling felt a bit of heartache. Yesterday, Xie Huai had obviously looked angry.

Although he didn’t know why Xie Huai had been angry, bullying a fool wasn’t appropriate, was it?

At the beginning, Fu Junling had been accompanying Fang Li to play out of respect for Xie Huai, but after a period of interaction, he found the little fool pretty cute, and he was actually sincerely a bit worried for him right now.

He slowly stepped over, giving him a warm smile. “Let’s go, I’ll take you to play outside.”

Fang Li was a bit hesitant. 

Fu Junling hadn’t hoped for a fool to be able to say much. He pulled Fang Li along and left, taking Fang Li to the seaside cliff in the mountains out back.

Fang Li stood at the edge of Hollow Ridge’s cliff. As far as his eyes could see was the endless expanse of the Fallen Star Sea, towering waves crashing and fierce gales howling. Back then, this was where he’d fallen off the cliff, and he couldn’t help but fall into a daze for a moment.

At the time, he hadn’t once thought that the day would come when he would be back here again. 

He’d thought that none of this would have anything to do with him anymore. 

Fu Junling was afraid the strong gales would blow Fang Li away, and he set up an array to block out the wind. Then, he retrieved from his storage space some firewood, a rack, and so on.

Oh, was he preparing to have a barbeque out in the wilderness?

Fu Junling smiled a little and said, “Wait a bit, let me catch a fish first.”

Fang Li perked up a little bit of interest. Don’t mention it, but he actually missed the fish from the Fallen Star Sea a little. The flavor really was very fragrant, and you couldn’t find it anywhere else……

To think that Fu Junling was actually in the mood for such idle entertainment. Not bad, not bad.

Coming out to get some fresh air was pretty nice, too. Fang Li sat there indolently, lifting his hand as he yawned.

Fu Junling was pretty decent at fishing. He attached the bait to the hook and cast the line far, far out in one toss. When the fish in the Fallen Star Sea smelled flesh, they immediately swarmed up in droves, and the fishing line was quickly pulled taut—

With a flick of his hand, Fu Junling hooked up a fish.

Fang Li looked at the sharp-toothed, gaping-mawed fish. Although the fish looked ferocious, it really was a bit stupid. As soon as it saw flesh, it would bite, so it was very easy to hook……

Fu Junling raised his eyebrows in a smile. “I’ve heard that the fish in the Fallen Star Sea are extremely fragrant, and the flavor is first-class. Today, I’ll finally have a chance to try it.”

He spread a piece of cloth on the ground, then neatly and tidily scaled the fish and put it on a skewer to roast over the fire.

Fu Junling was also someone who knew how to enjoy life. He sprinkled some spices and all kinds of seasoning on the fish, and not too long after, a fragrant aroma wafted up from the fire. Fang Li’s eyes were fixed on the fish.

Although it hadn’t been too long since he’d died and then returned, it felt like he hadn’t had it in ages.

Fu Junling took a look at Fang Li’s impatient, wide-eyed expression and gave the fish straight to him, then fished himself up another one and began to roast it. 

Fang Li lowered his eyes with satisfaction.

Fu Junling watched the young man eat with a satiated expression and laughed softly. Following that, he then sighed softly, suddenly saying, “This was where that devil died.”

Fang Li’s movements paused for a moment. He knew Fu Junling’s words weren’t directed at him, but that he was talking to himself.

As expected, Fu Junling revealed a reminiscent expression, saying, “The day that the Thousand Immortals’ Alliance attacked Hollow Ridge, I didn’t come. It was only later that I heard that when Xie Huai had been rescued, all of the meridians in his body had been severed, and it had almost been too late to save him……”

Fang Li’s chest became heavy.

Fu Junling let out a bitter laugh. “You might not even believe me when I say that I’ve met the devil before, and at the time, he…… Actually wasn’t so terrible. And moreover, Xie Huai seemed to somewhat……”

Fu Junling paused, then said a little uncertainly, “Xie Huai seemed to like the devil.”

Fang Li: “Cough cough cough—”

He almost choked on a fish bone!

Fu Junling rushed to pat his back, then shook his head. “But maybe it was just my misperception. The devil hurt Xie Huai that badly, how could Xie Huai still like him? Plus, if the devil had cared about him even a little bit, he wouldn’t have hurt him to that extent, and then left him all alone, don’t you think so……”

Fu Junling paused, then laughed. “What am I saying these things to you for, it’s not like you understand.

“But it’s good that the devil is dead. Only, Xie Huai still refuses to return. I’m afraid he still can’t let it go in his heart……” Fu Junling let out a gloomy sigh.

Fang Li gripped the fish in his hand tightly. It was obviously extremely fragrant, yet it suddenly became hard to swallow.

That’s right, it was good that he’d died.

The plot was already over, and they shouldn’t have anything to do with each other anymore.

So, why did you have to find me again?

Regardless of whether it was Tao Lu, or Fu Junling……

By Xie Huai’s side were friends who sincerely cared for him, yet because of himself, Xie Huai would rather keep watch over this place all alone.

He would be hard-pressed to escape the blame for Xie Huai becoming like this, but to him, this was truly a problem that was difficult to solve……

If he were to leave, would Xie Huai forget him and become like before?

Fang Li sat there blankly.

Xie Huai had come back from his trip down the ridge to buy food, but he didn’t find Fang Li in the residential palace. He circled around and finally saw Fang Li in the back mountains near the seaside cliff.

The young man was resting on a rock, his head lowered, emitting a solemn aura from his entire body, as if he might leave at any time.

Just like nine years ago.

Fang Li had also been sitting here like this, waiting for him.

He had come back half-alive after retrieving the Nine-Petaled Lotus, wanting to enter this endless hell together with him, yet Fang Li had only smiled at him, then used the love parasite to control him to kill himself.

That moment.

Was like a nightmare that was impossible to shake off.

Ever since then, he’d never stepped foot onto the seaside cliff even once.

A dark red seemed to appear in the depths of Xie Huai’s eyes. That day, even after all the meridians in his body had been severed, he hadn’t been able to struggle free of his restraints. Even today, he couldn’t free himself.

It was he who had killed this person with his own hands.

It couldn’t be that you’re going to leave me yet again?

Are you that unwilling to stay by my side?

Before he himself had even come to his senses, Xie Huai had already stepped forward and grabbed hold of Fang Li’s hand!

Fang Li was suddenly hauled up by Xie Huai, and the roast fish in his hand fell to the ground. He raised his head and met Xie Huai’s eyes, which faintly held a savage expression, as if they’d returned to that day……

He couldn’t help but shiver.

Xie Huai—what was up with him?

Fu Junling was also completely surprised, looking at Xie Huai with a frown.

He’d only brought Fang Li here to eat roast fish. Was Xie Huai going to get angry over even this? He’d never seen Xie Huai look so terrifying. Before, no matter when or where, this person had always been aloof and at ease, leaving no room for doubt that even facing death wouldn’t be enough to change the expression on his face.

But right now, Xie Huai looked like he was going to kill.

Fang Li’s body had undergone the Dragon-Bone Body Forging Pill and was actually already very strong, but Xie Huai’s strength still caused his bones to crackle, as if he was going to be thoroughly crushed. His brow couldn’t help but crease in pain.

Fu Junling became anxious, worried that Xie Huai wouldn’t be able to control himself and would hurt Fang Li. He rushed forward to stop him. “Don’t be angry, I was the one who brought him here……”

Fu Junling’s voice clogged up. He saw Xie Huai turn his head to look at him, those eyes bone-cuttingly frigid.

Xie Huai said, word by word, “You shouldn’t have brought him here.”

Fu Junling knew Xie Huai had really gotten angry. He might have unwittingly touched a nerve of Xie Huai’s. Just why was this fool so important to him?

Although he didn’t understand, he still followed along with Xie Huai to say, “I was the one who was wrong. Hurry and let go, you’re hurting him.”

Xie Huai lowered his eyes, and only then did he realize that Fang Li had a pained expression. His hand couldn’t help but loosen, and then he revealed a self-mocking smile.

He was the one who’d lost his composure.

But what about you, do you really not understand my feelings at all?

Or, do you not want to understand?

Xie Huai closed his eyes and simply dragged Fang Li away by the hand.

Fang Li was pushed by Xie Huai into his room.

If one were to say that yesterday, Xie Huai had only been a little bit unhappy, but had still been willing to patiently play games with him, then the Xie Huai of today was like a ferocious beast who’d already lost control, as if he wanted to rip him to shreds at every moment. The dense, raging emotions in his eyes were murky and unclear, yet made one’s heart beat wildly…… Just like the day the love parasite had acted up, and Fang Li had suddenly barged into his territory. Only, at that time, Xie Huai had only had killing intent, but the Xie Huai right now seemed to hold more complicated feelings……

Fang Li knew that right now, he had to keep steady.

He instinctively felt that Xie Huai was on the brink of losing control, his expression uneasy.

Xie Huai watched Fang Li’s current appearance. What, so you can also feel fear……?

Since you can also feel fear.

Then why did you act so decisively back then?

Why did you insist on having me kill you with my own hands?

You thought it was for my own good, but did you ever ask my thoughts, did you ever ask me if I wanted you to do such a thing……

Did you ever ask me if I would rather have this meaningless reputation, or to fall into hell together with you, never to part?

After a long time, Xie Huai let out an extremely low, soft laugh.

He said in a slow, hoarse voice, “Your body has already recuperated now, but in order to truly completely recover, you’ll have to cultivate to dissolve the spiritual power in your body. I have a method that can let even a fool cultivate normally.”

Fang Li was a little startled. There was even a method like that?

Xie Huai gave him a profound look and said, enunciating each word, “Dual cultivation. Even if you don’t understand anything at all, don’t do anything at all, you’ll be able to cultivate without any obstructions.”

Fang Li’s entire body went stiff, goosebumps appearing on his skin, every hair on his body standing on end.

Dual cultivation was absolutely impossible!

That was his absolute limit!

He didn’t know whether Xie Huai’s words were true or false, whether they were for the sake of testing him, but he didn’t dare take the risk. How could he dual cultivate with Xie Huai?

Did he really have no choice but to lay his cards on the table?

That was just as well. Going on like this in such a vague manner wasn’t a solution. It would be better to say things clearly, and when the time came, Xie Huai could kill him or dice him as he pleased. Anyways, dual cultivation was impossible!

After Xie Huai spoke those words.

His gaze was fixed unblinkingly on Fang Li’s eyes, not letting a single trace of emotion in his eyes escape him.

Sure enough, this was something Fang Li couldn’t accept.

It was also his limit.

Xie Huai’s mouth pulled in derision. At this point, this moment, there was no way for him to fool himself any longer, no way for him to escape the answer that he’d vaguely sensed but had been unwilling to face ever since their reunion.

Which was—perhaps Fang Li had never loved him.

If Fang Li loved him, he couldn’t possibly leave him alone to suffer pain and torment even while clearly being alive, unwilling to come back and see him even once.

If Fang Li loved him, he wouldn’t be unwilling to reveal his identity after he’d been discovered, only wanting to leave him.

If you really loved someone, cared about someone.

How could you bear to see them suffer and be in pain, how could you want to leave them?

But if Fang Li didn’t love him, everything made sense.

Thinking about it now.

Even back then, Fang Li had never once said that he liked him.

He’d tied him to his side, yet had strictly maintained propriety, unwilling to cross the line. Not because Fang Li liked him, but because he didn’t like him.

He’d used the love parasite on him, yet had been unwilling for anything to happen between them, not because he was unwilling to cause Xie Huai grievance, but because to him, the love parasite had been a trick for the sake of controlling Xie Huai to kill him.

And during this period of time, it was impossible for Fang Li not to have sensed his feelings, but the closer he got, the more Fang Li wanted to avoid him.

Only if he didn’t feel love would he be like this.

So, everything had been his one-sided fantasy.

His own wishful thinking.

But even so, he’d still fallen for him, finally giving away his whole heart.

To think that at this point, he was still unable to give up this person.

Only, the one thing that Xie Huai couldn’t understand was, if Fang Li had really had no feelings at all for him and hadn’t cared about him in the least, then why had he treated him like that?

Back then, he’d trapped him by his side and had wanted Xie Huai to become his.

Fang Li’s protection toward him and the kindness that he’d occasionally exposed couldn’t have been a lie, and even when he’d planned to die at the end, he’d still thought about using his own life to clear Xie Huai’s name, wanting to die by his hand.

And it had been precisely these contradictions that had caused Xie Huai to become unable to extricate himself, finally falling in love with him……

But if everything you did wasn’t because you loved me.

Then—what was it for?

But no matter what, no matter what Fang Li’s real purpose had been, Xie Huai could never let go of this person again.

He couldn’t bear the pain of losing him once again.

Thinking about it now, the feelings that he hadn’t had time to speak aloud had been nothing more than a joke. If I were really to speak them, you would definitely leave without any hesitation, wouldn’t you?

Because that’s just the kind of person you are.

Appearing gentle and mild, carefree and indolent, as if you don’t care about anything at all. But in truth, no one has ever been able to change your mind about the things you’ve decided.

The corner of Xie Huai’s lips pulled in self-mocking.

During this period of time, Fang Li had also been steeped in torment. He steeled his heart and was just about to lay his cards on the table, opening his mouth to speak, when he heard Xie Huai let out a soft, derisive laugh. Those black eyes held not a trace of warmth, glancing at him coldly. “But, I won’t dual cultivate with you. I’ll find another method to cure you.”

Sure enough, that sentence had been for swindling him?

But he still felt a bit of hesitation in his heart. Although he felt extremely guilty toward Xie Huai, dragging things on like this wasn’t a solution……

Xie Huai didn’t let slip a single fluctuation on Fang Li’s face. Before he could open his mouth, Xie Huai said blandly, “Do you know what this place is?”

Fang Li looked at him. Of course I know.

Xie Huai’s cold, gloomy eyes were fixed on him, and he said slowly, pausing after each word, “Before, there was a devil who lived here. He was crafty and treacherous, and not a single word of truth came out of his mouth. He tricked me until I was running in circles, and if I were to learn that that devil hasn’t died, but has been living a carefree life, I’ll be sure to give him a fate worse than death and make him taste every single thing I went through.”

Fang Li: “……”

Forget it, forget it. Laying his cards on the table could wait for another day.

Another day!

………………………

The Author Has Something to Say:

Xie Huai: Since you don’t love me, why did you have to provoke me? A heartbreaker is bound to die a painful death!

Author: Shixiong……

Fang Li: (Frantically covering mouth) Stop talking nonsense!