Chapter 66: Not Letting Go

Fang Li suddenly opened his eyes.

He breathed frantically, his chest throbbing with pain. Although the strike hadn’t been aimed at his life, it had still heavily injured him. Fu Junling wasn’t the Great Sage reincarnated for nothing. To think he had the ability to challenge Xie Huai.

The people of the world said that the Great Sage was full of mercy and compassion and lent his aid to all, and even his passing had incited earth-shaking calamities and raging fires because of the heavenly Dao’s grief, to the point that the world had been thrown into disaster…… Looking at it now, rumors couldn’t be trusted after all. Perhaps it was precisely because he’d committed some kind of atrocity that had infuriated the heavens that he’d been smited by the old man up above.

Fang Li wasn’t clear on what had happened tens of thousands of years ago. Perhaps the Great Sage had been a good person in the beginning and had once done good things, but he’d really lived far, far too long…… At least, the person who’d reawoken now—

—Wasn’t the merciful and compassionate saint in the rumors, but an emotionless person who stood up on high and looked down with contempt on all living things.

As for why Yan Sui had been able to so coincidentally enter the secret domain and so coincidentally bring the jade talismans back to the Great Sage’s reincarnation.

As the only Unified Dao true immortal in ten thousand years, the Great Sage’s tricks were inscrutable and profound. Perhaps he had ways to deceive fate and re-enter the cycle of reincarnation without destroying his karmic ties. Perhaps Yan Sui had only been a stepping stone for his awakening.

When Fu Junling had revealed his own identity, if not for the fact that Fang Li had prepared himself, and furthermore, that he wasn’t the real Yan Sui, his consciousness would probably have been shaken, allowing Fu Junling to win……

Fang Li let out a gloomy sigh.

Regardless of whether it was the original book or now, even until his very death, Yan Sui hadn’t known the truth. But to Yan Sui, that wasn’t necessarily an unfortunate thing.

Yan Sui couldn’t forgive himself for bringing disaster back to the Windbearer Sect. He had already been in so much pain after causing that incident. If he were to know that everything had already been set in stone much earlier, that the moment that he’d personally handed the white and black talismans to his Shixiong, he would cause the Shixiong who’d cared for and cherished him to disappear……

If he were made to face everything in person right now.

How much pain would he be in?

Luckily, Yan Sui wasn’t here anymore, and there was no need for him to know of these things, either.

As for Fu Junling.

He hadn’t been able to obtain the jade talisman from Fang Li, and now that his identity had been revealed, at least, there was no need to fear his hidden schemes.

Fang Li exhaled.

He looked around him.

The familiar sleeping quarters put him in a daze for a moment. Just how long had he been unconscious to have returned all the way to Hollow Ridge?

He recalled that when he’d fainted, it had been Xie Huai who’d caught him, so it had been Xie Huai who’d brought him back. Then where had Wu Yimei gone? But Xie Huai shouldn’t make trouble for Wu Yimei.

He’d been caught sneaking off by Xie Huai again, and this time, he’d even been caught at the scene of the crime…… Fang Li’s face paled a little from guilt. Xie Huai must be at the peak of his anger right now, right?

Fang Li took a deep breath and pushed the door open softly.

He couldn’t be more familiar with Hollow Ridge, but Xie Huai was sure to have placed down a barrier. He wouldn’t let Fang Li leave so easily.

Fang Li wandered around the palace aimlessly, waging war with himself in his head. To run or not to run, that was the question. If he was to run, he might get caught, but if he didn’t run, he was sure to be flayed alive…… This really was a dilemma……

Right, now that his identity had been thoroughly revealed, forget the fact that Xie Huai had known long ago, even Fu Junling was aware. Fu Junling definitely wouldn’t let things go so easily. It would still be best if he went to get his weapon first. His lifebound spirit weapon, the black stone halberd, was still there.

Restoring his strength was very important right now. With his lifebound weapon in hand, he would be able to fight against Fu Junling next time.

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, Fang Li acted. He snuck around toward the bamboo building in the back, but as soon as he crossed the palace walls to the forbidden area, he saw a white silhouette standing all alone at the edge of the bamboo forest.

From amidst the bamboo trees, Xie Huai glanced at him impassively.

This fellow, he’d been waiting here with net in hand!

How had Xie Huai known that he would come here after waking up?

Fang Li’s mind went blank for a moment. His body acted faster than his mind, and he turned to run, but before he’d taken two steps, his wrist was caught firmly in Xie Huai’s grip, and he was pressed against the wall.

There was a faint, tender smile on Xie Huai’s cool face, but the depths of his eyes hid a trace of madness. He leaned closer, his voice low and hoarse. “Your Excellency, where do you still want to run to?”

Fang Li met Xie Huai’s obsessive, murky eyes and trembled. Immediately, he deflated like a balloon and said in a very low voice, “I wasn’t running, I was taking a walk.”

“Oh?” Xie Huai’s tone was meaningful. He pulled gently, fastening Fang Li in his arms, his lips brushing softly against Fang Li’s ears as he said mildly, “I said before, if you let me discover that you’ve tricked me again……”

Fang Li’s heart was cold. Of course he remembered those words, but at the time, he’d also had no choice. If he hadn’t agreed, he would’ve immediately been done. It really hadn’t been said from the heart!

But no matter how many reasons there were……

Lying was lying.

Fang Li lowered his head without a word, his expression incomparably downcast, like a child who’d been caught red-handed.

Xie Huai gazed at the young man in his arms.

He’d long anticipated that Fang Li wouldn’t stay put and was sure to run, and before he left, he would very likely come here. The pain and anger accumulating in his chest tormented him, and he’d made up his mind not to let this person off so easily……

But when faced with his interrogation, Fang Li didn’t argue or make excuses at all. This appearance, as if he’d lost his soul…… It was as if nothing mattered to him, as if there was nothing that he cared about anymore.

Just like nine years ago.

Without a single attachment to anything in this world.

Xie Huai’s chest suddenly throbbed. He remembered that Fang Li was injured right now, and it had been done by his most beloved Shixiong.

But that person stopped being your Shixiong a long time ago. He’s no more than a ghost with your Shixiong’s memories who’s lived for thousands of years and has come back through the cycle of reincarnation.

If he were really still your Shixiong, how could he bear to hurt you like that?

But for Fang Li, he must not be willing to believe everything that had happened inside the ruins. It must be a terrible blow that he could hardly withstand. Xie Huai couldn’t help but remember the youth’s admiration and fondness toward his Shixiong in the illusion. But the person that he’d most cared about had heartlessly tricked him and hurt him.

He’d watched him suffer a thousand torments, unable to climb back up, then trampled his sincerity into the mud.

Xie Huai could practically feel Fang Li’s pain as his own, and his heart almost softened.

But……

Since when have you felt the least bit of heartache for everything I’ve suffered?

Besides, is this the reason you let yourself fall, deceiving and hurting others without restraint?

At this thought, Xie Huai’s heart chilled. He told himself not to pity this person, it wasn’t worth it at all. He closed his eyes fiercely, wanting to say something ferocious, but in the end, his lips only moved without making a sound.

He only tightened his arms, holding this person tightly.

In the midst of his daze,

He seemed to have returned to that dark, gloomy underground. In the ruins, the youth’s body had been ice-cold. He couldn’t find the way back, and despair had been drowning him bit by bit. At that time, Xie Hai had been the only one to keep him company, to keep him warm……

Even if it was only for a moment.

It was fine.

Even if he couldn’t get a single response for everything that he gave, without any of it even being known…… He still didn’t want to see him suffer.

Fang Li was held tightly by Xie Huai. After a long while, he carefully raised his eyes.

He’d originally thought Xie Huai would sort him out. After all, he’d been the one originally at fault, and looking at Xie Huai’s appearance just now, he definitely wouldn’t let him off lightly…… But Xie Huai only held him tightly without speaking.

Xie Huai’s embrace was very warm, putting one inexplicably at ease.

As if, no matter when or where, as long as you needed it, he would stay by your side, not letting you be alone……

This kind of Xie Huai made Fang Li feel even more guilty.

And he finally made up his mind.

He didn’t know how to respond to Xie Huai’s feelings, but there was one thing that he had always understood clearly, which was that he didn’t want to hurt Xie Huai’s heart.

Fang Li took a deep breath. His eyelashes quivered, and he said, word by word, “Before, I was the one who was wrong. Whatever you want to do, it’s all fine.”

Xie Huai’s expression froze slightly, and he fixed his eyes on Fang Li.

The young man’s complexion was a little pale, but his eyes were clear and bright and calm, with a hint of resolution.

But there was no trace of his earlier avoidance.

Xie Huai’s heart suddenly sank. He opened his mouth slowly. “Oh? Even dual cultivation is fine?”

Fang Li pressed his lips together and very, very slowly, and with much difficulty, nodded.

If that’s what you want, if that can clear away your anger, I can agree to you.

Besides, he could even give his life away to Xie Huai. Wasn’t it just dual cultivation? What was so impossible about it? When he thought about it like that, it seemed like it wasn’t that hard to accept, either…… One’s boundaries were probably pushed step by step just like this……

Whatever the case, it was just the fall of the blade. If it was dual cultivation, then so be it!

Xie Huai saw through Fang Li’s thoughts.

A chill swept through his chest, his whole body cold as if soaking in an icy abyss. Ha…… So you don’t care about anything at all anymore? Does that person’s betrayal give you this much pain?

And so? If I said that I wanted your life.

Would you agree without any hesitation, giving your life to me, and having me kill you once again?

A viciousness suddenly rose from the depths of Xie Huai’s eyes, the pain making his expression ferocious.

He really hated this person to the extreme.

This utter indifference, in this world, other than your Shixiong, there’s no one you cherish, not even yourself. When have your eyes ever seen anyone else?

You want to clear all debts so simply,  just like that. How could that be possible?

A low, bone-chilling laugh of unclear meaning leaked out of Xie Huai’s throat.

Fang Li had gathered his resolve and agreed to dual cultivate. He didn’t know why, but he suddenly thought of the original story, which he hadn’t thought about in a long time. He recalled all the colorful ways Xie Huai had been done this and that to, and his ears couldn’t help but turn red. Blasphemous, how blasphemous, the original story was long gone. Why was he still thinking up nonsense?

Those things couldn’t possibly happen!

Just as Fang Li’s mind was in utter chaos, he heard Xie Huai finally speak. His cool, clear voice fell into Fang Li’s ears, leisurely and irreverent. “If you want me to let you off, it’s not out of the question, but everything that Your Excellency did to me back then, I’ll return in kind.”

Fang Li: ?

What did “return in kind” mean?

Were they not going to dual cultivate right now?

Xie Huai gazed at the young man’s surprised and perplexed eyes, his lips curving coldly with derision.  Are you that impatient? Did you forget that you’ve just been injured by Fu Junling?

Fang Li was brought back by Xie Huai in a daze, and then Xie Huai left.

He didn’t intend to run, either.

Anyways, Xie Huai could do whatever he wanted. If he wanted to kill him or dice him, he could do as he pleased.

Fang Li sat in the room by himself.

But what did Xie Huai’s “return in kind” mean? At the time, he’d besieged Xie Huai’s sect in order to bring Xie Huai back, but right now, Fang Li didn’t have a sect, nor did he intend to run. Xie Huai wouldn’t need to go to such trouble on that front, right?

And then, he’d kept Xie Huai by his side, pretending to dote on him, forging marks on him, and even humiliating Xie Huai in front of his subordinates.

But it was just the two of them on Hollow Ridge right now. Who would Xie Huai show it all to?

Fang Li thought things wouldn’t be so simple.

After about half a shichen, Xie Huai returned again, a bowl of medicine in his hands.

Fang Li finally remembered that he was still injured. Before preparing his revenge, Xie Huai had even remembered to make medicine for him? Fang Li’s emotions immediately become complicated again. There was even a last meal before the execution, Xie Huai really was too particular about things.

Fang Li didn’t stand on ceremony. He picked up the bowl and drank it dry.

As the spiritual medicine entered his body, it alleviated the pain in his chest. At the time, Fu Junling hadn’t intended to kill him, so there was no threat to his life. After a few days, it should heal.

Then, Fang Li looked up at Xie Huai, waiting cautiously for Xie Huai to act.

But Xie Huai only glanced down at him and said, “Sleep.”

Fang Li: ?

Things definitely wouldn’t be so simple!

But Xie Huai left as soon as he was done speaking. Fang Li furrowed his brow and fell into contemplation for a few moments. He could only take things one step at a time, so he simply laid down in bed. Perhaps it was the medicine taking effect, but after not too long, he thoroughly sank into a deep sleep.

……………………

Fang Li slept very deeply that night.

In his dreams were those sinuous scenes from the book, seemingly becoming reality. He became Yan Sui, and he was currently doing this and that to Xie Huai. Xie Huai’s cool, celestial, and indifferent face was suffused with passion. Xie Huai’s ink-black eyes were fixed on him, his pale lips slightly parted, and he suddenly seized hold of Fang Li’s hand and lifted his head to meet him……

This dream was really too shameful.

Fang Li felt his neck itch, as if feathers were brushing past over and over. He struggled to wake up, but it felt like his eyelids were heavy……

Finally, he let out a muffled groan and slowly opened his eyes, then blanked.

It couldn’t be that he still wasn’t awake?

Xie Huai’s cool, flawless face was just before his eyes, a nearly indiscernible smile at the corners of his lips. His fingertips just barely flitted across Fang Li’s collar, and he suddenly bent his head down, and a kiss fell softly on Fang Li’s neck.

Fang Li reflexively wanted to push, but he found that he couldn’t lift his hands. His entire body was limp and powerless, as if all of his strength had been sucked dry.

What was going on?

A dense mist permeated the room, and the scent of sandalwood entered his nose. Amidst the white mist, Xie Huai’s face appeared even more indistinct, so beautiful that stirred up one’s very heart and soul, but Fang Li’s heart was chilly. He finally knew why he had no strength.

This room had been lit with sedative incense.

As luck would have it, it was even the same type that he’d used on Xie Huai before.

But at the time, he had taken antidote pills every night, so the poison naturally wouldn’t affect him. But now, the person who wouldn’t be affected by the poison had become Xie Huai.

Was this what Xie Huai had meant by returning in kind?

Who wasn’t an expert at lighting incense?

As his mind wandered, his neck was bitten fiercely, and the pain made the corners of Fang Li’s eyes redden. He revealed an aggrieved, dissatisfied expression…… Back then, he’d pinched Xie Huai’s neck for the sake of faking marks, but he’d used his hands, okay?!

Yet Xie Huai was using his mouth. Wasn’t that a little overboard?

How could Xie Huai not tell what Fang Li was thinking? The corners of Xie Huai’s lips hooked up teasingly, and he said slowly, in a hoarse voice, “In the eyes of the world, this is precisely how you destroyed my name. Your Excellency, now that you’re paying back what you did back then, you haven’t forgotten, have you?”

Fang Li immediately averted his eyes with a guilty conscience.

Forget it, forget it, you can do whatever you want!

Xie Huai gazed at Fang Li’s averted eyes and his embarrassed, faintly flushed face. So, you’re this unwilling to be touched by me? He laughed coldly and gripped Fang Li’s chin, meeting his misty, damp eyes, and kissed him fiercely again.

………………………

Xie Huai had said that he would return in kind, and sure enough, he was returning in kind. These days, the sedative incense never stopped burning.

Fang Li could only let Xie Huai do as he pleased.

It just had to be that although the incense made him unable to move, it wouldn’t completely knock him unconscious. Being toyed with by Xie Huai night after night, starting from some point, as soon as he closed his eyes, Xie Huai’s tender kisses would appear in his mind as if thoroughly etched into his brain, so that even if he wanted to forget, he couldn’t.

And because he couldn’t move.

Xie Huai had to personally help him eat, drink, and change. All of it made Fang Li extremely embarrassed.

Fang Li couldn’t help but recall in detail, had he been this excessive back then? He had only faked some marks, and he had always been careful to maintain a proper distance, and even the sedative incense had been because he’d been afraid Xie Huai would kill him. Xie Huai seemed to be acting a bit unreasonable……

But when he thought about it some more, he’d brought a massive army to besiege Cloudbank Keep, captured Xie Huai in front of everyone, stolen away his lifebound spirit sword, and sealed his cultivation, keeping Xie Huai by his side to humiliate him without restraint and making the entire world misunderstand him. If one were to really tally it up one by one, he himself had still been the more unreasonable one, so he immediately lost the courage to complain. He was a big, strong man, he’d said he’d let Xie Huai do whatever he wanted.

It had just been a few days, how could he not be able to do it already?

He could!

Today, Xie Huai had prepared another table full of extravagant dishes for Fang Li, and they were all dishes that he liked.

But Fang Li’s eyes were full of distress.

Eating was also a difficult task. Right now, he couldn’t even lift his hands, and he needed Xie Huai to feed him.

Xie Huai ignored Fang Li’s desolate expression and pulled him into his arms, slowly and leisurely feeding him, occasionally touching the young man’s lips, occasionally brushing past his ears suggestively.

Although he didn’t make any unreasonable movements, it made Fang Li’s face and ears turn red.

After finally finishing a meal with some difficulty, Xie Huai finally showed mercy and returned Fang Li to the divan. With a wave of his hand, he cleared everything away, then took out a jade bottle and put it in front of Fang Li.

Fang Li looked at Xie Huai doubtfully, not understanding what was going on this time.

Xie Huai looked at him meaningfully, slowly opening his mouth. “Back then, Your Excellency used the love parasite on me, but abandoned me for seven days and nights, causing me to suffer a pain worse than death. Tell me, what should I do so as not to disgrace what Your Excellency did to me back then?”

Fang Li’s hairs stood on end one by one. No way, right, this definitely wasn’t fine! It would be better to kill him!

But he thought some more. The Hehuan Sect sect master had died a long time ago, so where would Xie Huai go to find another love parasite? All traces of the Entangling Silk Love Parasite were long gone, so Xie Huai couldn’t possibly have one!

Although that was what he thought to himself, Fang Li’s expression revealed a rare trace of unease toward what exactly Xie Huai wanted to do.

Xie Huai was watching the person before him unblinkingly.

During this period of time, Fang Li had been unusually docile, as if he really had made up his mind to compensate him. Regardless of what Xie Huai had done to him, no matter how unwilling he’d been, he’d endured it all, to the point that for a second, he’d gotten the illusion that Fang Li didn’t actually oppose it.

But at this moment, the young man finally showed some unease. A peculiar feeling rose from the bottom of Xie Huai’s heart. He would rather Fang Li look at him like this, he would rather Fang Li be scared of him than to be completely ignored, as if nothing he did to him mattered…… Xie Huai knew it wasn’t right of him, but he couldn’t control the dark side of his heart from growing day by day……

Xie Huai closed his eyes.

But, in the end, it was only a thought.

Forget the fact that he didn’t have the love parasite, even if he did, he wouldn’t be able to bear using something like that on Fang Li. It was just that in the end, he couldn’t be satisfied with letting him off just like that.

Xie Huai caressed the jade bottle in his hand, the corners of his lips hooking up teasingly. He said blandly, “Don’t worry, I don’t have any love parasites, but this twin-fates herb has about the same effect.”

Twin-fates herb?

Fang Li immediately knew what this was.

Every stalk of the twin-fates herb was actually two stalks entangled as one. Its usage was actually just for stimulating that kind of thing, no different from the average drug of that type. It was just that without the parent stalk as an antidote, the effects could last for seven days and nights……

Although this herb was extremely rare, because it didn’t have any impressive uses, most people wouldn’t specifically look for it. After all, there were simply too many substitutes.

Just what kind of nonsense had Xie Huai gone looking for for the sake of getting revenge on him?

He was actually pretty strict……

But this thing was a far cry from the love parasite. It didn’t have the ability to control someone, and it was a one-time use product. For better or for worse, Fang Li was still a cultivator. If he endured it, it would be over!

He would just take it as being poisoned!

Xie Huai lifted his hand and placed a pill into Fang Li’s mouth.

The pill melted as it entered, and Fang Li laughed awkwardly. “You can go now.”

Wasn’t it just bearing with it?

Those seven days really had been a mistake, but sure enough, one had to pay the price for their mistakes. Since you’ve already gone to this extent, leaving me alone should be fine, shouldn’t it?

But Xie Huai had no plans to leave. He wrapped an arm around Fang Li, his chin resting lightly beside Fang Li’s neck as he said unhurriedly, “Don’t worry, I’ll be right here, keeping Your Excellency company……”

It looked like he didn’t intend to leave.

Fang Li: ……

He thought about how considerate he’d been back then, intentionally leaving Xie Huai alone because he hadn’t wanted him to suffer, yet Xie Huai wanted to increase the difficulty for him.

Forget it, do as you please.

Fang Li tightly shut his eyes.

The medicine took effect very quickly.

His breathing became a bit heavy, and his powerless fingers clutched at his sleeves, trembling softly.

Xie Huai watched the young man in his arms.

The hair around his forehead was soaked with sweat, and the young man had his eyes closed in restraint, but his quivering eyelashes revealed his lack of calm inside. But even like this, he didn’t open his mouth to make a single sound. Xie Huai suddenly recalled nine years ago.

Back then, he’d sunk into an endless hell. He had thought this person wouldn’t come, but just when he’d nearly been unable to hold on any longer, this person had appeared before him.

He had decided to kill this person.

But this person’s innocent, compliant manner.

Had disoriented him.

At the time, he hadn’t known that everything had only just begun.

After that, for the sake of this person, he would suffer inescapable torment.

It was you who did this to me first.

So, even if you’ve never loved me at all, even if you’ve only ever used me, I’m still going to keep you by my side…… It’s fine if you take me as someone else, it’s fine if you hate me. I won’t mind any of it.

Xie Huai’s eyes darkened. With a laugh, he pecked softly at the side of Fang Li’s face, feeling the young man’s shiver of restraint. His voice was tender, carrying a bit of hypnotic intent, saying, “There’s no need to fight it…… As long as you need it, I can help you.”

…………………………