The Perfect Relationship

Chapter 109: I'm Sorry

Seeing Shao Junling's lost and dejected look, Yin Chang sat back down and spoke softly, "Today is your birthday, we shouldn't be talking about this... If you really are so against accepting Dad's inheritance, I'll keep it for you for now. When you're ready to take it, just let me know, okay?"

As for the impulsive words Shao Junling had said earlier about wanting to be his boyfriend, Yin Chang chose to dismiss it as a rebellious outburst. He only said those things because for the past eight years, this child had focused all his attention on himself, and was not used to being apart...

Yin Chang continued, "You're grown up now, and you're in university. Besides your studies, you can attend more social events and meet different people. Try to engage with others more, and maybe one day you will meet someone you really like."

Shao Junling slowly raised his head and looked at him with red eyes.

Yin Chang struggled to say, "You'll realize then that being with them is completely different from being with me..."

As he spoke, Yin Chang felt like he was using a blunt knife to cut their tightly entwined souls. Every word he said was a cut, and both were heartbroken.

But he still appeared resolute, as if he would rather tear Shao Junling away from himself.

Shao Junling opened his mouth and finally spoke again, "So, are you not going to care about me anymore in the future?"

"How could I..." Yin Chang restrained himself from wanting to pull Shao Junling into his arms and hold him tightly. He softly said, "Silly boy, you will always be the closest person to me in my life."

A faint glimmer of hope lit up in Shao Junling's cold heart, but then he realized that their relationship could never progress any further. This thought extinguished that flicker of hope and filled him with despair.

Being the closest person forever also meant that he would never be the person Yin Chang loved the most.

Yin Chang's words did not ease the tension between them, instead making the awkwardness even deeper.

They sat facing each other, not knowing what to say or do. Despite being so close, they felt like they were miles apart.

The untouched birthday cake sat there, and no one had any appetite for it. Yin Chang sighed, "Go to bed early." He had to wake up early to film tomorrow, and couldn't continue to dwell in his melancholy.

Shao Junling obediently nodded, but maybe because of what was said earlier, he was slow to react. He sat there for a few moments before numbly starting to clean up the table.

Yin Chang finished washing up and laid down first. Soon, Shao Junling also got into bed, but kept his back turned towards Yin Chang.

The room was so quiet they could hear each other's breathing. Yin Chang knew that Shao Junling couldn't sleep either, and couldn't help but whisper, "I'm sorry, I should have made you happy today..."

There was no response for a long time, and Yin Chang was anxious. But then he heard Shao Junling's voice, soft and gentle, as if it was a delicate thread of hope barely holding on, "Brother, can you kiss me?"

His calm tone sounded like it was hanging on by a thread, and there was a hint of an indistinguishable plea in his voice.

Yin Chang trembled, as his reason and feelings battled in his mind. He finally sat up slightly, wanting to lean over and kiss Shao Junling's forehead.

But when his hand touched Shao Junling's cheek, he felt a slight wetness. His chest suddenly filled with sourness, and his stomach spasmed in discomfort.

Slowly leaning in, he kissed away the tears on Shao Junling's face. Starting from the corner of his eye, to his cheeks, and finally his lips. He couldn't hold back anymore, and let out a sigh as he kissed him.

Shao Junling hadn't tasted any of the good wine his brother had prepared for him. But in that moment, he tasted it in his brother's kiss.

This was the first time Yin Chang had kissed him in a sober state. It was completely different from the playful teasing from when he was drunk. His brother's kiss was gentle and affectionate, like the most tender lover in the world.

As if sensing Shao Junling's sadness, Yin Chang felt anxious and lost. The decision he made was to help his brother live a freer and happier life, but why did he feel like he had hurt him?

Yin Chang couldn't figure out where he went wrong, and could only unconsciously hold him in his arms, repeatedly apologizing in his heart.

He didn't know when he fell asleep. When he woke up the next morning, Yin Chang felt like something was missing in the room.

Feeling around his side, he realized that it was empty. Yin Chang suddenly sat up and looked around, then found a crumpled note pinned down by the egg. It read:

"Brother, I've returned to school. I've upgraded Shao Junling's voice package.

When I'm not here, remember to eat properly. Don't drink too much, because you might do strange things when you're drunk, and you'll forget everything when you wake up - that's not good for anyone.

If you can't sleep at night, you can chat with Xiao ling, or let it recite some poetry to you. I've recorded over a hundred poems in its memory, I hope it helps you sleep.

Also, don't get too attached to the role you're playing. It's just a way to pass the time, there's no need to risk your life for it.

I won't come back for Chinese New Year.

Little brother, Shao Junling."

Clutching the note, Yin Chang sat on the bed, tears flowing from his eyes, unable to stop.

Shao Junling had no jet lag from the start, and he couldn't sleep at all last night.

After Yin Chang fell asleep, he opened his eyes and looked at his brother's flawless face. All he could think about was the impulsive words Yin Chang said to him, "I don't need you to repay me." This sentence was a kind of expulsion to him, a clear statement from his brother that he no longer needed him. 

Shao Junling felt pain and resentment in his heart. He was afraid that if he stayed any longer, he would do something irreversible to Yin Chang. That's why he left a note and hurriedly left instead of staying at the Huaihe apartment. 

The ride-hailing service in China was very convenient. As long as you offer a high price, drivers came to pick you up even at two in the morning. Shao Junling didn't return to Huaihe apartment but went straight to the Haicheng International Airport.

He felt like he was in a daze, as if he had lost his soul. 

Once at the airport, Shao Junling bought the last ticket back to Los Angeles and sat in the airport lounge with a hot cup of coffee for four hours straight. During this time, he kept using the memory of Yin Chang's kiss to numb himself, so he didn't fall into despair. 

He didn't know if he was just imagining it, but the more he reminisced, the more he felt that Yin Chang also had reluctance towards him...

It wasn't until the plane took off that his brain began to function again. He was lucky that he had a strong memory. Whenever he wanted, what happened last night would play in his mind like a clear video recording, over and over again. 

As it turned out, his brother knew about his true identity seven years ago, and also knew that he was the son of a murderer. But his brother still treated him well as always, and never looked at him with the eyes of a freak. That's why, even though Yin Chang hurt his heart, he would still put his brother in the most important position and never hate him for it.

His brother wasn't wrong. Shao Junling  himself just wanted too much and couldn't have it, which was indeed painful. But no one said that his brother had to respond to his feelings.

But last night until now, Shao Junling always felt that his brother refused him because he couldn't get past the blood relationship. Now that he thought about it, he felt that something was off - his brother had said he was the "only blood relative" of Yin Dong. What did that mean? Wasn't his brother Uncle Yin's biological son?

Moreover, Luo Chuan had revealed that Uncle Yin was likely a homosexual. If Uncle Yin had never been with a woman, where did his brother come from?

If his brother and Yin Dong were not blood relatives, then it meant he and his brother didn't have a blood relationship, right?

Shao Junling thought back to half a month ago when Luo Chuan talked about Uncle Yin's past, and his brother suddenly became especially nervous...Could it be that his brother's reason for rejecting him was related to Uncle Yin?

Could it be that...he was just a substitute for Uncle Yin?

...

Shao Junling's face changed from green to red to white.

But no matter what the truth was, Shao Junling could only confirm his own heart. From the age of fifteen, he had been aware of his love that was different from familial love.

Looking out the window at the sky 9,000 meters above the ground, Shao Junling thought to himself: Brother, even if you exile me to the ends of the earth, you cannot erase my feelings for you. If you don't believe me, let time prove it.

At that moment, Yin Chang was repeatedly doing retakes on set.

"Yin Chang, what's wrong with you today?" After Yin Chang forgot his lines for the fourth time and was stopped, the director said helplessly, "Do you want to take a half-hour break and adjust?"

Yin Chang took off his costume and walked down, with a look of apology: "I'm sorry for holding everyone up."

The director joked, "Maybe your emotions burst out too much recently and now it's run out?"

Yin Chang sat down at the rest area, and Lu Lingjuan handed him a thermos cup worriedly, "What's wrong with you?"

Yin Chang shook his head, not wanting to say a word. Instead of drinking water, he wiped his cheeks and forced himself to cheer up.

It was finally the end of the day's shooting, and Yin Chang knew his performance wasn't satisfactory, but the director didn't say anything, just told him to go back and relax.

Mi Xiu had fewer scenes after the scene at Seven Steps Poetry, so he went out to shoot an outdoor scene alone today. When he came back to meet with Yin Chang, he was also thinking about eating with Shao Junling. "Where's your younger brother? Call him out to eat."

Yin Chang said, "He left."

Mi Xiu gasped, "What? Changed his mind again today after yesterday? It's just a meal. If you don't want to treat me, there's no need to play with me like that!"

"He really left," Yin Chang smiled and took the initiative to hook his shoulder, "I'll treat you...Oh right, get more people, it's been a long time since I've hung out with you guys, the more the merrier."

Mi Xiu looked at him strangely, but couldn't see through him.

After months, Yin Chang rarely invited everyone to dinner, and all the young actors came to support. However, when they got to the dinner table, Yin Chang ordered alcohol for everyone but himself.

Mi Xiu held up a bottle of wine and asked in confusion, "Not drinking? Have you changed your routine?"

Yin Chang covered the mouth of his cup with his palm, "I'm not feeling well lately, so I'll have tea instead."

Everyone understood that he had been in a bad state of mind since the start of filming that day and was not surprised, "It's alright, we're all friends, you can relax."

The dinner was quite lively. They talked about funny incidents that happened on set, and gossipped. They clinked glasses and laughed. When they finished the meal after ten o'clock, Mi Xiu followed Yin Chang up to the twelfth floor before stopping him, "What's going on with you today?"

Yin Chang asked, "What do you mean?"

Mi Xiu frowned, "I admit your acting is good now, but don't pretend in front of me. Did you fight with your younger brother?"

Yin Chang tensed up, and Mi Xiu rolled his eyes, "I knew it."