The Scum Shou’s Survival Guide

Ch 41 – Late night rendezvous~

Do you really hate seeing me so much….. you would rather I sleep with some other woman, so you can push me away!

Blue veins stood up in sharp relief on Li ZeChen’s forehead, his hands which were hanging by his sides began trembling as he curled them into fists. His voice was tense and full of pain, “Do you even know what you are saying……”

Ye Ming suddenly averted his gaze, as if he couldn’t bear the cruelty of his own actions. But his tone remained hard with determination, “Your Majesty must have an heir, else the nation will be not be secure.”

“This beloved official is really loyal and devoted, heh….” A hoarse chuckle escaped Li ZeChen’s throat, his heart slowly growing cold.

Ye Ming knelt down and prostrated himself on the ground, “Chén cannot be the cause of the nation’s downfall, asking His Majesty to please attach greater importance to the needs of the country.”

Note: Chén (臣) – this servant/official

Li ZeChen looked stonily at the man kneeling before him.

You are selfless enough, but you must understand, I wish you could be a little bit more selfish sometimes, be a bit less inhibited by what you think is right…… do you even realise how cruel you are. 

You gave me something beautiful to look forward to, but at the same time you wrested it away from me, telling me that everything was but a lie that I dreamt up, in the end leaving me with nothing in my grasp. 

[Ding! Li ZeChen’s blackening value +10, current blackening value is 80]

After a long while, Li ZeChen slowly loosened his fists. He gave a low, bitter laugh, “Very well, zhèn will listen to you.”

Note: Zhèn (朕) – I (imperial use)

With that, he turned around and left without hesitation. To the trembling eunuch at his side, he said, “To Concubine Chen’s palace!”

Once Ye Ming could no longer see Li ZeChen’s figure, he slowly got up from the ground.

[888: He really left, guess he’s going to play around now.]

[Ye Ming: Nah, this is just a man’s way of protecting his pride. Just because you visit a concubine’s palace, who says anything has to happen? They can also spend time by having a nice heart to heart chat.]

[888: ……Are you so sure?]

[Ye Ming: Absolutely.]

[888: Need I remind you that the blackening value has risen again.]

[Ye Ming: Don’t worry, he just thinks that I don’t care about him. I just need find a chance to show him how much I really care, and that I’m actually doing this for his own good. It’s not easy to get rid of the blackening value~]

[888: Hehe……]

And that is why humans are such ineffable creatures. If it were him (888), he probably would have beaten this spicy chicken to death long ago, what maniac would want to continue this never ending hot and cold game with him (YM)? If you don’t like the spicy chicken’s attitude, then give him a good stomp. If it’s not enough, then stomp on him again.

T/N : Spicy chicken (辣鸡) is a slang used by the Chinese. Simply put, là jī (辣鸡 – spicy chicken) sounds a lot like lā jī (垃圾 – rubbish). So 888 is calling Ye Ming garbage. I’m keeping ‘spicy chicken’ because… it’s funny.   (And because I can’t think of a suitable replacement lolol)  

………………

Li ZeChen left the Fengyang palace in large strides, his expression dark and cold. He halted at the gateway of the palace for a moment.

The eunuch carefully asked Li ZeChen, “Your Majesty…….. are we still going?”

After having served Li ZeChen for so long, he well understood the place Ye Ming held in Li ZeChen’s heart, and believed that Li ZeChen’s earlier instruction were but words spoken out of anger.

The corner of Li ZeChen’s mouth twitched slightly. He looked back at the palace, where specks of candle flames illuminated the interior, his gaze full of helplessness. Finally, he closed his eyes, and replied, “Yes.”

The eunuch was stunned. Has the Emperor finally given up?

Concubine Chen was asleep. She had gone to bed early, as was her wont, but today she was startled awake by a sudden clamor within her palace.  She listened in a bewildered daze to her maid telling her that the Emperor was about to arrive, and the shock cleared her head like an icy splash of water to the face. Trembling with anxiety, she grabbed on to the elderly maid’s hand and asked, “His-His Majesty is really coming here?”

Her maid was also wearing an expression of one who had been struck by lightning by the heavens, her voice quivered with excitement as she answered, “Yes, there’s no mistake about it! His Majesty’s eunuch just dropped by to inform us, they will be arriving soon. My lady, hurry up and wash your face, ai, and rub the sleep from your eyes!”

T/N : ‘Sleep’ as in the stuff stuck to your eyes. FYI, we Chinese call it ‘eye shit’.  

Flustered, Concubine Chen hurried to wash her face and brush her hair at the same time. She has never been pushed to such a frenzy before. Before she could put on her shoes, the Emperor’s arrival was announced. Panicking, she rushed out, tripped and fell flat on her face in a prostrated position.

And so, what greeted Li ZeChen was the sight of a woman with long messy hair collapsing to the ground in front of him.

Such a unseemly display……. the maids who were kneeling nearby shivered and broke out in a cold sweat. Such a rare opportunity has arrived, but now it seems like it will be wasted instead. How would the Emperor be interested in such a stupid and clumsy woman.

In terms of looks and family background, Concubine Chen was fairly unremarkable. And now the Emperor will be even less inclined to look at her.

Concubine Chen was close to tears, and couldn’t react for a long moment. She finally lifted her head, trembling from head to foot, “Chén welcomes Your Majesty…..”

Li ZeChen shot her a quick, indifferent look. Then he walked in as if nothing had happened. The eunuch by his side quickly closed the doors and kept guard outside.

Everyone: “…….”

His Majesty just went in without saying a word??? Isn’t he angry at all?

Concubine Chen watched as Li ZeChen entered and the doors were closed behind him. She has received instruction before on how to serve the Emperor, and understood her role, but she couldn’t help feeling so nervous that her hands and feet trembled. She has always been rather reserved, and still felt embarrassed at the thought of serving a man. But the man in front of her now was the Emperor, and so she has to grit her teeth, gather her courage, and step forward to help him disrobe.

Li ZeChen turned his head and looked at her.

Likely owing to the abrupt nature of his visit, the girl’s current appearance was really miserable. Her eyes were still somewhat unfocused, her hair was barely brushed, her clothes were crumpled and twisted in places. Her face was white and nervous, her fear palpable.

His sudden appearance must have really given her a fright.

Li ZeChen sighed, “You can go to bed, zhèn will stay here for a while.”

Concubine Chen replied confusedly, “Chén qiè should attend to Your Majesty tonight.”

Note: Chén qiè (臣妾) – I, your servant

Li ZeChen had chosen Concubine Chen’s palace because he had heard that she was of a peaceable and quiet nature, and was fairly obedient. Right now, looking at her abject state, his temper fizzled out as quickly as it came. Hence he only said coldly, “This is zhèn’s will.”

Concubine Chen hesitated, but she was deathly afraid of Li ZeChen. She tiptoed to her bed, turning her head back to look at him every three steps along the way. When she realised that Li ZeChen was not angry, she finally closed her eyes to sleep. However, because she was still frightened, she covertly peeked at him through her lashes.

She watched Li ZeChen sit on a chair.

Concubine Chen was eventually too tired to fight the heaviness of her eyelids, and fell asleep. In the middle of the night, she woke up in a daze to see Li ZeChen still seated in the same spot, as if he had never moved. Could it be just her imagination….. is Li ZeChen just here to sit through the night in her palace?

When Concubine Chen opened her eyes again in the morning, Li ZeChen was gone, as if last night was all but a dream.

………………

Li ZeChen stopped frequenting Fengyang Palace. He began spending the night in the palaces of his other concubines. Ye Ming stayed in his own palace without a fuss, and did not ask for Li ZeChen’s whereabouts.

Ye Ming had just finished his breakfast today, and strolled to the gardens as usual. Suddenly, he heard the whispers of several palace women drifting over from the rockery.

“His Majesty went to Concubine Chen’s palace again today. He has already stayed there for several days.”

“Really? Could His Majesty have taken a liking to Concubine Chen?”

“Could it be that the Young Master has fallen out of favour…..”

Ye Ming paused, then turned and walked away as if he had not heard anything.

[Ye Ming: Everyone in the palace here is a qualified actor. While sharing gossip in secret, they have to ensure that I would overhear. But they couldn’t be too obvious about it either, lest I realise that they were doing it on purpose. It’s really not an easy task.]

[888: …….]

[Ye Ming: I’ve just realised our dear Emperor has a very cute side to him, turns out he’s actually a very childish and proud little boy. He has visited other women, and is eager for me to know it. I didn’t ask about it, so he devises a method to make sure I know it. Does he really think I would be jealous?]

[888: You definitely wouldn’t be jealous.]

[Ye Ming: You’re wrong! I’m super jealous ah!!!]

888: I give up, what the hell is this?

[Ye Ming: I also want to live with so many beautiful women ah! Even if I can’t touch them, at least I can still look at them and feast on the eye candy, right! Hehehehehe……..] He snickered obnoxiously.

[888: …….] This scum!

Time continued to pass in this way, and Ye Ming continued his days nonchalantly. But the expression of servants tasked with serving him reflected what those on the outside had already suspected, that he has fallen out of favour with the Emperor. They looked constantly worried, and always hovered around him, on the verge of asking him to persuade the Emperor to return, but Ye Ming remained unmoved.

[888: Li ZeChen hasn’t been to see you for over a month now. Congratulations, he has set a new record.]

[Ye Ming: I estimate that he won’t be able to hold back for much longer.]

[888: Oh? You have already sent him packing to someone else, will he really come back? Is the Emperor really so spineless?]

[Ye Ming: Ai, love has always been a tiresome little creature. The one who falls in love first is always destined to be the loser~ ]

[Ye Ming: But that’s alright, I actually still really like him, I will love him properly ^_^ ]

888: It’s better if you spare the man your love.

………………

Today, Ye Ming retired to bed early after taking his dinner.

He has always been a fairly light sleeper. When he turned around in the middle of the night, he opened his eyes in confusion. There was a black figure in front of him, which scared him thoroughly awake. He was about to call out in alarm, but then the figure moved closer into the moonlight, illuminating his features and revealing him to be Li ZeChen.

Ye Ming immediately got up from the bed to kneel, but Li ZeChen wrapped his arms around him and laid back down on the bed.

Li ZeChen held on to the man in his arms tightly and closed his eyes.

These days, Ye Ming had not inquired on his whereabouts at all. When he knew Li ZeChen had been spending nights in another concubine’s palace, he had remained unaffected….. he really hadn’t cared….. what else can Li ZeChen hope for?

Li ZiChen knew he was neither welcome not wanted, that Ye Ming does not wish to see him at all, but still he came back…..

If all roads were equally painful to walk upon, he would rather choose to be by this person’s side. At least then, he wouldn’t go mad from missing him.

You’ve won, zhèn has been completely defeated by you. 

After having not seen the other for some time, to be enveloped in the man’s familiar scent again made Ye Ming’s heart twist. Nervousness and uncertainty filled him, he had not thought that Li ZeChen would ever return. “Your Majesty……”

In the dark of the night, Li ZeChen’s eyes opened as he whispered, “Don’t speak.”

Don’t say anything, just stay in my arms, let me hold you for awhile…… 

Ye Ming fell silent again, and closed his eyes.

Li ZeChen liked the sight of Ye Ming’s sleeping face. When he was asleep, he would not look at him with indifferent eyes, he will not use thorns disguised as meekness and obedience to protect himself, he will not attempt to distance himself from Li ZeChen.

Li ZeChen reached out to gently trace the contours of Ye Ming’s face, skimming lightly over his lips.

Why can’t you love me? Was I too late, or am I just not good enough for you? Or is it…. because of my identity?

I actually understand what you want….. you want to be able to stand proud, and be a good minister. Back when we were studying together…. I already knew you were such a person…… 

But I am selfish, and want to keep you by my my side. 

I thought I could give you everything, but I didn’t know, this was never what you wanted. 

Li ZeChen slowly gripped his hands into fists.

Do you regret having treated me kindly in the past, thereby drawing my attention….. 

However, it is too late for regrets. 

Thanks to Tsukushi for the ko-fi! 

Note : I fully intended to post a complete chapter instead of splitting it into two halves, but I was too tired to continue, and decided to release this portion first. It’s a decent length, and doesn’t stop at a cliffhanger.

But…

Here’s a teaser for the beginning of the second half anyway 

Today, Li ZeChen was in the imperial study room, handling the documents of the country’s affairs. The leader of his secret guard slipped in soundlessly to report to him. 

“Your Majesty, you were correct. Zuo Yu has really passed on the information to the Zheng Guógōng, Li ZeYuan now knows of this matter. It seems that he is ready to act, and waits only for a chance to infiltrate the Imperial palace.” 

Li ZeChen’s eyes were cold, “Zhèn has put up with him for long enough. Since it has come to this,  it’s time to settle this once and for all.”

Today, Li ZeChen was in the imperial study room, handling the documents of the country’s affairs. The leader of his secret guard slipped in soundlessly to report to him.

“Your Majesty, you were correct. Zuo Yu has really passed on the information to the Zheng Guógōng, Li ZeYuan now knows of this matter. It seems that he is ready to act, and waits only for a chance to infiltrate the Imperial palace.”

Li ZeChen’s eyes were cold, “Zhèn has put up with him for long enough. Since it has come to this,  it is time to settle this once and for all.”

In the evening, Li ZeChen returned to Fengyang Palace. As he was taking his meal with Ye Ming, he said, “Zhèn has decided to stay at the temporary palace for a while. Wen Qing, you will accompany zhèn.”

T/N : 行宫 (Xínggōng) – Temporary palaces are imperial palaces for short stays away from the capital, it also serves as a temporary dwelling place of an Emperor.

Ye Ming merely gave a deferential reply, and did not question him on the reason.

Li ZeChen looked at him fixedly, but said nothing more. You are always like this, you show no interest in anything, you don’t question anything, you don’t care about anything. 

The next day, their group set off amidst much pomp and splendor.

The temporary palace was not far from the capital, and was nestled at the base of a forested mountain from which sprang several hot springs. The environment was beautiful and tranquil. This place was specially built by the late Emperor for his Empress, Li ZeYuan’s birth mother. After the passing of the Emperor and Li ZeChen’s ascension to the throne, this place now naturally belonged to him.

Back then, Li ZeChen was an unfavoured Prince, and the late Emperor has only ever brought the Crown Prince and his cohort here, never him. And after Li ZeChen ascended to the throne, he did not indulge in any frivolous pleasures, and hence this was his first time visiting the place.

This was where Li ZeChen had brought Ye Ming. As they walked, there was a rare expression of peace on his face.

“Imperial Father may have been a romantic, but he never stopped loving his Empress. Hence when Li ZeYuan was born, he was immediately conferred with the title of Crown Prince.” Li ZeChen smiled faintly, “This was Imperial Father’s favourite temporary palace, he used to come here every year with Li ZeYuan. In his eyes, only Li ZeYuan was his true son, whereas….. the rest of us were but accidents of birth, we could never stand on the same level as Li ZeYuan. To ensure that the other Princes knew their places, Imperial Father had always treated us very differently.”

T/N : -cough- He means womanizer. 

Of this, Ye Ming knew very well. Recalling how Li ZeChen was treated in the past, his heart could not help but soften. The late Emperor had truly been biased in this regard.

His most beloved son had always been Li ZeYuan. As for the rest of the Princes, if their mothers had significant status to back them up, they could at least live their lives peacefully. But Li ZeChen was born to a palace maid……. life had not been kind to him.

“But I have never blamed him, Imperial Father did this for the stability of the nation. If he had given every Prince hope, and allowed them to start having ideas, the consequences of the resulting internal strife would have been severe. And so, selecting the Crown Prince early was not wrong, but life does not always turn out the way you expect it to…..” Li ZeChen laughed self-deprecatingly, his brows lifting as he continued, “Humans have always been greedy and capricious, always eyeing what does not rightfully belong to them. Like myself, I was not content with my lot….”

T/N : Li ZeChen sometimes uses the normal ‘I’ instead of ‘zhèn’. I just follow along. 

Ye Ming said slowly, “For Your Majesty to be the Emperor, this was Heaven’s will.”

“Is that so…..” Li ZeChen smiled faintly, “But zhèn does not believe in Heaven’s will, you have to work hard and fight for what you want.”

From the day I was born, from the day I could think, I had known that I could only fight for what I want, else I would have nothing……. And so, to keep surviving, to obtain my heart’s desire, I used every means, fair and foul, to achieve my goals. 

Not only will I seize everything Li ZeYuan has today, I will seize you back from him as well. 

They walked slowly, and eventually came to the site of the hot springs. Everything that was built here was beautiful. The pebbled pathways spread out as far as the eye could see. Deep round pools were sunken into the ground. Hot mist swirled and wafted into the air. The place was like a land in a dream.

Li ZeChen walked over and looked at it intensely for a moment, then took a big step and plunged into the pool. It seemed that he may have slipped on the slippery pebbled paths lining the pools, and hence fell straight in.

Ye Ming had been closely following Li ZeChen. When he saw Li ZeChen fall into the pool, he rushed over without another thought, his sole intent was to pull the person out. But when he reached out, his arms were grabbed by Li ZeChen, and suddenly his whole body was dragged into the hot spring with a resounding splash. He looked up in worry, and met Li ZeChen’s smiling gaze.

There was no need to think about it, it was clear that Li ZeChen’s actions had been deliberate. He made to leave, but was hugged by Li ZeChen.

Li ZeChen rested his chin on Ye Ming’s shoulder, his lips brushing Ye Ming’s ear as he spoke, “You are still the same as before.”

Ye Ming’s face turned red, his eyes flitting about nervously.

Li ZeChen said, “I still recall the first time we met, when I jumped into the lake to retrieve the ball for Third younger sister, you were watching from the side….. I saw the look in your eyes. Everyone was laughing as they watched me, you alone stood there looking worried, as if you wanted very badly to pull me out, you looked at me so kindly…..”

“Since that day, I’ve always thought of you.”

As he spoke of this, he did not refer to himself as zhèn.

Ye Ming’s eyes were blank for a moment, as if he had returned to the scene that was described, recalling the first time they met. But he had not realized that the younger Li ZeChen of that time would still remember the look in Ye Ming’s eyes……

Li ZeChen continued, “After that, you always spoke up for me in front of Li ZeYuan, you would smile at me, and secretly look for a chance to see me…… to ask if I have been well.”

Ye Ming’s lips moved soundlessly for a moment, “I……”

Li ZeChen shook his head, a small smile on his lips, “I know. You don’t feel that way about me. I’ve known since the first time you refused me.”

At that time, I was terrified, furious, lost…… I had stinted on nothing to obtain what I have today, but it turns out that the thing I truly desired was still out of my reach, was there anybody who understood the sense of loss and dismay I felt that day. 

Every night my thoughts were centered on one person, I couldn’t hold myself back, and in the end, I hurt the both of us.  

Li ZeChen gazed at the soft, pink curve of Ye Ming’s lips, they were like the delicate petals of a flower…… he longed to kiss them, but for the first time, he did not.

If you were given the chance again, who would you choose? 

Me? Or Li ZeYuan? 

Once upon a time, I would have been absolutely certain that you would choose me. But now, I’m no longer sure. 

Because now you hate me,  I am no longer the person you wished to protect back then, but someone who has hurt and forced you against your will. 

Li ZeChen closed his eyes and loosened his hold, “Let’s go back.”

The rooms in the temporary palace have already been cleaned in advance, with incense lit and placed inside. The dishes for their evening meal consisted of the wild herbs and edible plants picked from the neighboring mountain tops. Asides from the servants who usually followed after Li ZeChen to serve him, there were also some unfamiliar faces mingled in. These people were the ones who originally stayed here to manage the estate of the temporary palace.

When dusk fell, Li ZeChen left for a while to handle some official matters. Ye Ming went out to the courtyard by himself for a stroll.

Here, a bamboo forest grew in dense, verdant thickets. Ye Ming walked slowly amongst shadowy eaves of the forest. Suddenly, he noticed an elderly eunuch balancing two pails of water on a pole, walking over from the side. This elderly eunuch must have been one of those servants located in the temporary palace, as Ye Ming has never seen him before.

When he saw Ye Ming walking over, the elderly eunuch immediately lowered his pails of water and knelt down to the ground to respectfully greet Ye Ming.

Ye Ming was not used to such deference from others, and said softly, “There’s no need for this, please stand up.”

The elderly eunuch stood up slowly, a smile creasing his wrinkled face. He sighed, “Gōngzǐ is really as benevolent as the rumours say.”

T/N : Gōngzǐ (公子) – son of an official/nobility, usually used to address young noblemen 

Ye Ming was startled, “You have heard of me?”

The old eunuch replied, “This old slave heard it from his Master. Master said that Gōngzǐ is a good man, but unfortunately, is being held against his will, hence Master is feeling very grieved about it.”

Ye Ming began to feel like something was not right, why would an old eunuch here be telling him these things? His voice was low as he spoke, “I have to go back now.”

The elderly eunuch did not try to detain him, and merely replied, “Gōngzǐ, there is no need to be afraid. This old slave is merely a messenger, and would absolutely not dare to harm Gōngzǐ. The Master told this old slave to inform Gōngzǐ that he misses you very much and is worried for you, he cannot bear to see you in this state, and hopes to be able to help you…… if Gōngzǐ does not wish to continue living this way, at midnight tonight, an old friend would like to meet you.”

T/N : zǐ shí (子时) – referring to the time between 11PM to 1AM 

Ye Ming’s eyes revealed his wariness. He turned around and hastened away. After walking for a while, he turned around again to look back at the bamboo forest, but there was nobody there.

[888: Don’t bother guessing, that was Li ZeYuan’s follower.]

[Ye Ming: Was there any need to guess? You look down on me too much.]

[888: …….]

[Ye Ming: But I really didn’t expect that after being shut away for a year, Li ZeYuan’s mind has sharpened a lot. He even knows how to be manipulative now. I didn’t think that besides being bossy and overly domineering, he also has this despicable side to him…… he can barely sustain himself but has the cheek to offer to help me, it’s obvious he just wants to use me ^_^ ]

[888: So will you be going tonight?]

[Ye Ming: Of course I’m going. Weren’t all the plans I laid out for the specific purpose of luring him to me?]

[888: Are you sure you want to do this? If you really meet up with Li ZeYuan, Li ZeChen is sure to hate you, it won’t be the same as his previous temper tantrums. He has already begun testing you today!]

[Ye Ming: Relax, I know what I’m doing.]

When Ye Ming returned to the courtyard, Li ZeChen had just finished his work as well. He looked at Ye Ming intently, “Wen Qing, where did you go today?”

Ye Ming lowered his head, “Just wandered around.”

Li ZeChen’s hands were tightly clenched beneath his sleeves, disappointment flared in his eyes before fading away, but his face revealed none of his thoughts. He said softly, “The day grows late, we should retire early. Tomorrow zhèn will bring you out for a walk in the vicinity, the scenery is worth seeing here.”

Ye Ming looked ill at ease, but he did not dare lift his gaze to meet Li ZeChen’s eyes. He answered simply, “Yes.”

That night, Li ZeChen hugged Ye Ming as they lay on the bed. He remained silent, and eventually, his breathing evened out in sleep.

Ye Ming was unable to sleep. He looked out through the half open window, before deeming the time to be right. His expression revealed his conflict as he struggled with his choices.

After a long while, he seemed to finally come to a decision. Gently lifting Li ZeChen’s arm away from his waist, he sat up on the bed slowly.

These two simple actions left Ye Ming pale and fraught with anxiety. He observed Li ZeChen quietly for a while, before confirming that Li ZeChen was still asleep. Then he quietly put on his shoes and slipped out.

The bamboo forest was not far off. After a short while, Ye Ming arrived at the designated meeting spot, but there was no one waiting for him there.

He stood there frozen for while, then suddenly came to his senses. He must have been mad, why did he come out here? Who was he hoping to see? Who would possibly help him? This sudden act of sneaking away was too impulsive….. his eyes flickered with determination as he made up his mind, and he turned around to leave. But he was suddenly pulled back against a chest, a hand covered his mouth firmly, and warm breath brushed against his ear as he listened to a familiar, deep voice say, “It’s me.”