1735 He Must Have Fallen Into Complete Despair
The look on Chu Qi’s face softened when he saw the girl falling silent. His tone became gentle. “Ji’er, I know you can’t just forget what you found out about how your father treated you when you were born. I was just as shocked as you were when I found out. If even I could not accept it, it must be much worse for you—the victim.

“However, no one wanted that to happen. Your parents have been living in guilt for many years—they dote on your more than your other siblings because of this. You can’t just wipe away all their love for you just because of that incident and put yourself down like that.”

Ji’er lowered her head and said nothing.

...

Chu Qi could not bear to berate her any longer when he saw her looking like that. He hugged her for quite a while before he said, “His Majesty was wrong for what happened back then, but it must not have been on purpose. Your mother suddenly stopped breathing and he must have fallen into complete despair. If he had eventually killed you, I’m sure he would have taken his own life in the end as well.

“I don’t remember what happened, so I can’t tell you exactly what the situation was like, but even a ferocious tiger would not hurt its cub. How could someone like His Majesty willingly kill his own child? I heard that His Majesty fell into a state of madness that day and had lost his mind completely. If your mother didn’t wake up, it wouldn’t have been just you—everyone else present would have been killed on the spot. Your father would not have chosen to come out of it alive either.”

Ji’er’s face was covered in tears at this point.

Chu Qi lifted her face gently and it pained him to see her face covered in tears. He used his sleeve to wipe away the tears and his deep, dark eyes stared into hers. His voice softened. “Ji’er, you did nothing wrong. There is no need to put yourself down and torture yourself like that. I never want to hear you saying those things again. You’re not allowed to think of yourself like that, understand?”

Ji’er looked at him blankly.
Lil Qi had never been a man of many words, but he had just told her so much.

She knew the effort that he had put into this.

She suddenly felt that she had made a big mistake.

Her stubbornness had caused a huge commotion with everyone going out to find her. They were all worried for her.

She should not have done this at all.

Ji’er buried her face into Chu Qi’s chest and said in a muffled voice, “I understand.”

“That’s good.” Chu Qi finally felt relieved as he patted her back. He said softly, “Hurry up and get some rest. We still need to rush out tomorrow after you’re rested and head back to the imperial capital as soon as possible. Your mother and siblings are looking forward to having you home.”

“Alright.” Ji’er nodded. After listening to him, the thorn in her heart did not seem as painful as before. She hesitated before asking, “Would everyone else blame me for this?”

“What would they be blaming you for?” Chu Qi asked.

“They would blame me for being stubborn, being so selfish, and not considering the thoughts of others…”

“That won’t happen. Everyone is worried for you and they will all be happy to see you come home.” Chu Qi comforted her and rubbed her head. He continued, “That said, Ji’er, you’re not allowed to do something like this next time. Promise me that you’ll never do this again. It’ll just make me worried and hurt your parents. You shouldn’t make the people who love you feel so sad and anxious.”

Ji’er nodded as she looked into his gentle eyes. “Alright.” She bit her lip as she spoke and said with slight hesitation, “But Father, he… I still don’t think I’ll be able to face him.”

“That’s fine. Take it slow. No one is forcing you to forgive your father immediately—your father feels the same way. All he hopes is that you won’t hurt yourself. He was willing to travel through the darkness because of this. He even refused to linger in case you would feel sad and hurt.” Chu Qi consoled her.

Ji’er felt a tinge of regret when she heard this. “Father, he…”

“There’s no need to worry about that now—nothing will change by doing that. Hurry up and get some sleep. Nothing will happen to your father. If you’re still worried, we can leave earlier tomorrow and perhaps we can catch up to him sooner,” Chu Qi said.

 

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