Chapter 81 – Waking Up

xiin12-16 minutes 11.06.2023

translator: xiin
editors: butter & XavierForest

Song Yu was sweating from the pain, his forehead burning hot. He briefly regained consciousness at the cold touch, slowly opening his eyes to reveal confused, light-colored pupils and staring blankly at the person in front of him. 

The darkness outlined Xie Sui’s familiar and reassuring figure. He called out softly, “Xie Sui.”

Xie Sui placed his cold fingers against his forehead, bent over, and spoke in a very low voice, “You have a fever?”

His words seemed to be a gentle inquiry, but it also seemed like he was having a conversation with himself.

Song Yu’s thoughts were confused from the fever. His voice was muffled as he replied, “Mm.” Yet he still attempted to stand up for himself, “I’m not going to the hospital.”

He hated hospitals. 

Xie Sui’s gaze was heavy as it focused on him.

A long time later, he blinked and shifted his line of sight. His voice was soft, “Alright, we won’t go to the hospital. Let’s go home first.”

Xie Sui leaned over and wrapped his arm around Song Yu’s waist, lifting him up.

In that moment when he was held in Xie Sui’s arms––

Song Yu was caught off guard. The elegant scent of laundry detergent reached the tip of his nose, and his ear was pressed against Xie Sui’s chest, separated only by a layer of clean clothing. He could clearly hear the sound of his heart beating.

Darkness and a fever had put all his senses into a series of conflicting states––he sometimes felt groggy and sometimes felt like his senses were magnified with incomparable clarity. For example, right now, it felt like a large stone had been thrown into his foggy consciousness, causing his limbs to go numb and his burning hot blood to freeze for a second.

Song Yu stretched out his hand to push him away, but his entire body felt as weak as water and he couldn’t push anything at all.

On top of that, the exhaustion that followed his extreme mood fluctuations washed over him like the tide.

He could only weakly grab at Xie Sui’s clothes with his fingers like a drowning person.

“Don’t do that, it’s embarrassing to be held. I’ll walk on my own.”

––He muttered and complained. Under his sweaty black hair, his pale ears had turned red, tempting others to have a nibble.

The rain outside had slowed down.

Xie Sui felt as though he was holding onto a body that generated heat which burned at the tip of his heart. Every weak word from the person in his arms agitated his nerves.

It was just that he had no idea that Song Yu was the most aggravating when he was ill. He was like a wild cat who refused to retract its claws even when sick.

All the panic and anger that he’d pushed down deep in his heart as he searched for Song Yu resurfaced.

His expression chilled, and his voice was ice cold.

“How are you going to walk back? Will you crawl?”

Song Yu had never been on the receiving end of Xie Sui’s temper before. After stilling for a moment, a subtle feeling of grievance welled up in his heart.

When he thought about how he’d told 008 that he liked Xie Sui just now, he felt even worse.

Xie Sui and Zhao Ziyu were destined lovers.

What kind of scum man had he fallen for?

Song Yu felt extremely unhappy, “You don’t have to worry about it. I’ll walk with my own legs.”

As soon as he spoke, even he was surprised by the hoarseness of his own voice. It was soft and weak, with strong notes of grievance and anger, like that of a spoiled child.

He burned as much from anger as from the fever he had.

Who was he acting spoiled with?

The fingers Song Yu had wrapped around his clothing tightened with a bit more force, and he struggled angrily in Xie Sui’s arms, flailing and scratching a few times.

Xie Sui froze for a long time, feeling chagrin over his hoarse voice.

All of a sudden, his moodiness was overwhelmed by a surge of emotion.

He lowered his gaze and looked at the sick youth. Helpless heartache finally prevailed.

Xie Sui had liked him for so long, and they had spent so much time together. He naturally understood Song Yu’s emotions like the back of his hand.

He used his fingers to help him tuck his damp black hair behind his ear, then said softly, “If you walk on your own, then won’t I be very useless? This isn’t how the plot should develop.”

His gentle movements dispelled some of Song Yu’s anger.

What plot? His brain felt heavy, and his logic remained very simple. Xie Sui’s words puzzled him.

There was movement by his ear; he was being taken away.

Xie Sui’s voice was so gentle that it seemed to hold a bit of demonic allure in their nighttime surroundings, “The hero who wakes up the heroine in the dark and gloomy classroom. Do you remember?”

“You’re terrified, and I’m terribly distressed.”

“Two people, on a rainy day.”

Enough, stop talking.

Song Yu wanted to cover his mouth with his hand, but he was thoroughly exhausted.

Xie Sui laughed lightly, “Director Song.” As he leaned down, the inhale and exhale of his breath brushed against the side of his ear, “Did you arrange tonight as the beginning of our love?”

Director Song: “……”

No matter how he argued, he wouldn’t be able to explain things clearly.

He resigned himself and buried his head in Xie Sui’s arms, revealing only the back of his head and his bright red ears. It was too embarrassing––

He completely gave up on struggling. Compared with Xie Sui’s scenario, being held in his arms was nothing.

––It really had to come to this for him to settle down.

Song Yu fell into a deep sleep in Xie Sui’s arms after he quieted down.

Xie Sui took him home, helped him with a simple change of clothing, prepared fever medicine for him, then fed it to him one mouthful at a time.

He didn’t know if Song Yu had gotten a simple fever or if it was a relapse of an old illness, so he didn’t dare to leave all night. He quietly watched Song Yu’s sleeping face, his eyes deep.

Beneath the light from the desk lamp, the youth’s face was no longer flushed. His skin seemed to be coated in a thin layer of ice and snow, appearing fragile and pale.

In the previous life, Xie Sui had been an extremely light sleeper for a very long time. Insomnia had become a habit, so now, he sat quietly into the middle of the night without any trace of drowsiness.

It was still raining outside, and his thoughts wandered for a long time.

He thought of the despair that had flooded over him like a tide in the haunted house, and the scene of that tombstone in the dark rain.

“Water…”

Song Yu murmured, pulling him back from his thoughts.

The youth’s eyelashes trembled, his eyebrows furrowed with pain. His voice was hoarse when he opened his mouth.

Xie Sui got up to pour him water, and when he came back, he wrapped his fingers around his hand to help him drink. He had never taken care of anyone so gently and carefully before.

After drinking water, the burning feeling in Song Yu’s throat receded.

The furrow between Song Yu’s brows relaxed. His body was completely powerless, but he no longer felt as uncomfortable as he had in the auditorium. His eyelashes rose up slowly, half asleep and half awake as he looked at Xie Sui’s profile. Light flowed over his cool, pale skin, and his eyebrows and eyes were as cold as before. 

The room was comfortable, the bed was soft, but it wasn’t his.

So, had he taken over Xie Sui’s bed again?

Song Yu opened his eyelids with difficulty, but then closed them again.

Fatigue permeated every inch of his bones. He muttered, “Come up and sleep together.”

Xie Sui was taken aback for a moment, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. Did he know what he was talking about? Only, the night was too gentle, and so was his heart. He lightly kissed the youth’s eyebrows over his closed eyes.

“Okay.”

In his previous life, Xie Sui had been someone with a strong sense of personal territory. He required absolute silence in everything, and even the slightest disturbance would make him highly alert. This included other people’s breathing, but Song Yu was the exception.

It seemed that when they were young, they had also slept on the same bed like this.

The manor, midsummer nights, the cool breeze, and the scent of youth.

The lights turned off and the room fell into silence.

Song Yu’s fever also seemed to have mostly receded.

The more things were like this, the more Xie Sui wondered––what exactly was his illness?

“Yuyu.” He called out softly.

Song Yu was already sound asleep.

Xie Sui chuckled in the darkness. Even he didn’t know what he was laughing about. He closed his eyes and fell into a dream for the first time.

His memories stretched out. They held vines climbing up pitch black iron gates, a large black dog that barked crazily, the fragrance from an orchard that wafted over from miles away. There was a boy who sat on the iron gate under a blue sky dotted with white clouds, who had thin and pale legs and clear and bright eyes. He was panicked and terrified, and even as he turned his head to ask him to catch him, he could still use his excellent verbal skills to make him feel depressed.

“Why should I?”

“I heard that I like you very much?”

“This can also be considered one of the reasons.”

“How come I don’t know about it?”

“Ha… Don’t they all say that the person involved is always the last to know?”

Those involved couldn’t see things clearly.

He felt that, even in his last life, he’d probably been in love with Song Yu since he was a child.

Childhood sweethearts, the first awakenings of love.

It would have also been a planned, deliberate yet subtle pursuit after they’d grown up and reunited. It was just that he wasn’t sure… if he’d succeeded or not.

The next day was a Saturday. Song Yu had taken fever medicine, and the oppressive feeling he’d felt had already disappeared by the time he woke up at noon.

He was in good health. The main reason why he’d felt so uncomfortable yesterday was due to that dream. Just like the other night where he’d had a dream he couldn’t remember––he’d woken up feeling like he’d drowned.

His pain and anxiety had disappeared, but his memory hadn’t been erased.

He still remembered the conversation he had with 008, as well as the memory that had caused him so much suffering.

The clearest part of the scene was still the syringe he’d stepped on.

After he woke up and came back to his senses, he rolled up his sleeve in a daze and looked at his own fair arm––so, had he been killed by someone injecting alcohol into his body in his previous life? As soon as this idea floated up in his mind, Song Yu’s face instantly turned pale. Not from fear, but from confusion.

Who had it been? The warehouse had been too dark, and the dream had been so bizarre. He could only remember that heart-wrenching conversation. It seemed that it had been because of something Xie Sui had done, and the person he’d heard sounded like Qin Mo––paranoid and crazy. He hadn’t been able to obtain Xie Sui, so he’d dragged him down to hell with him? He really lived up to his character settings in the book.

He remembered that Xie Sui had called him.

In the end, would Xie Sui blame himself for this incident?

His childhood best friend and playmate had suffered because of him.

“If you’re awake, then eat something.” The door opened. Xie Sui spoke calmly as he stepped inside.

His features were clear and handsome, his voice as cold as a spring.

Song Yu was stunned for a moment. He glanced at him, then immediately lowered his head.

“Okay.”

Song Yu felt a headache coming on when he saw him.

Especially because he’d confessed to 008 yesterday that he kind of liked him. Now, he was even more confused about how to deal with it.

It was as though there was now a gap in his heart and a whole pile of thoughts had burst out, messing him up. If it weren’t for that stupid system 008’s words, he definitely wouldn’t be so torn.

What the hell was a soulmate?

Who was Zhao Ziyu? Could they hurry and show up?

But this person surnamed Zhao was like a thorn in his heart. He just wished he could pull it out and bite it to pieces.

Song Yu clutched at his hair in frustration, then put on his shoes and went to wash up. It wasn’t the first time he’d stayed overnight at Xie Sui’s place and naturally everything he needed was there. Song Yu stared at himself in the mirror while brushing his teeth, his brain full of 008’s nonsense about them both being ‘proud sons of heaven, equally outstanding, and equally intelligent’.

His mouth was filled with foam, and his thoughts were scattered.

Come on, wasn’t the handsome guy in the mirror both outstanding and smart? On what basis were those two the well-matched pair? Was it just because Zhao Ziyu had been chosen by heaven, while he was condemned by heaven? But hadn’t they both been chosen by heaven?

Song Yu pursed his lips. His entire figure gave off sleepy and irritated vibes.

He woodenly brushed his teeth. Having just woken up, he didn’t have any solid thoughts, and everything was just messy.

By the time he sat down at the table––

Only then did his eyes grow wide. He sucked in a breath, his teeth itching with hatred. He stabbed his chopsticks into his bowl––

The one who’d trapped him in the auditorium had also been Qin Mo!

Butter’s Ramblings:
*stab chopstick in rice*

XavierForest’s Thoughts:
We all know where he really wants to stab those chopsticks.