Unspeakable

In Li Qing’s memory Shen Kanyu as a child was always a very good boy, never smiling nor crying and not making a scene. The loudest he cried was the day he was born, when the nurse slapped him hard on the buttocks.

When he was more than three years old, he was still a fleshy little glutinous rice ball still walking wobbly and not weaned but already know how to make his own milk to drink. He also knew to leave more milk powder for his brother, each time he would only have one or two spoonful of milk powder for a hundred of milliliter of water.

The first time he was able to make one himself, he was so excited and took the bottle to her thigh as he said naively looking at her.

“I mwake mwilk.”

However she was so busy making nutritious meals for Shen Danxi that she didn’t think about how hungry such young child must be to run and make milk on his own and how dangerous it was to be exposed to hot water as she casually responded.

“Really? That’s great.”

The white tender face flushed with pink as he excitedly giggled and clutched her pants to make her taste his own brewed milk.

“Mommy drink! It taste good!”

But again she was so impatient with his pestering that she couldn’t resist pulling him off her pants.

“Be a good boy and drink by yourself on the side, mommy is busy.”

He usually like to cuddle her or Shen Zhihang’s calf but the latter would directly put him away while she would only squat down to hold him when she was soft heartened so it was the first time she pulled him rudely like this.

The little dumpling’s eyes got red when his mother pulled him away, but he didn’t make a fuss. He just sucked his fleshy little nose and nodded obediently.

“Oh! Okay!”

She thought he had really run off to the side to drink the milk obediently and didn’t expect that after she finished cooking and turning her head, she saw him standing at the kitchen door waiting with a milk bottle in his arms flashing her pink, boyish smile with only a few teeth.

He raised his short little hand with a smile and held the bottle out to her.

“Mamma drink!”

Her nose tingled and she hurriedly took the bottle and took a sip.

It was almost bland and tasteless, with every little milk powder put in.

She frowned and said that mom would make another bottle.

He shook his little head like a rattle saying that this was a good to drink and then gulped down the milk bottle.

Compared to Shen Zhihang Li Qing felt that she treated the boy much better, at least when Shen Zhihang wanted to beat him she would go to stop him. However the difference was just like between 50 steps and 100 steps.

The birth of Shen Kanyu was an unwelcomed accident, at first the couple didn’t reject the child that much it was just that Shen Danxi’s health was not good and they had to put more effort into caring for him and had no time to care for the other child.

However when Shen Kanyu learned to crawl around the house, there was one time when Li Qing could not find him anywhere. She was so anxious trying to find him and didn’t notice that Shen Danxi was running with high fever when she found Shen Kanyu, Shen Danxi was already burning out and lost his consciousness, his breathing stopped on the way to the hospital.

This incident made their treatment to Shen Kanyu changed into being fed up with him, they began to send him to various relatives’ home and rarely took him with them.

Later when got Shen Kanyu household registration booklet they took him to have his blood type tested and found that it was completely consistent with Shen Danxi’s and Shen Zhihang’s blood type. They thought that in case Shen Danxi was seriously ill in the future then Shen Kanyu could give blood transfusion or do organ transplant, so all the more they didn’t want to give feelings to the child afraid that they would be soft heartened in the future and delay Shen Danxi’ treatment opportunity.

Later, Shen Kanyu became a delinquent and even do shameless things like take someone’s love and getting himself pregnant, so they’re relationship with him drop into freezing point.

Li Qing has not contacted Shen Kanyu for a long time and thought that his attitude towards her would be as cold and disgusted as she was towards him, and it was unlikely that he would easily agree to donate his liver.

But as soon as he received her call, he called her mom several times in a row and said bunch of words like a machine gun as if he was afraid that she would never have the chance to call her mom or talk to her again in his life.

She had prepared a lot of words to convince him to donate his liver but she only had her opening and he already said.

“Yes, I’ll go tomorrow.”

In fact, Shen Zhihang’s situation was not that serious but they just want to prepare in advance. She really did not expect him to agree readily and even promised so urgently.

It’s like—

It’s like he was afraid they won’t want his liver.

—

Shen Kanyu returned home at almost seven o’clock, Gu Yansheng wearing a light gray home shirt was sitting on the sofa and was using the laptop to deal with business, while Tian Tian leaned against his waist and drank her milk. Her cheeks were round and full of tender light pink color unique to children.

Because Shen Kanyu practiced to come and go without a trace, to open the door without a sound and using his “light steps”, the father and daughter did not notice he was back and was still concentrating on their own business.

Shen Kanyu felt that there could be no better picture than this, and he could not help but stand at the door for a while. He even breathe very softly for fear of disturbing them.

Until his vision couldn’t stand any longer, he carried a bag of newly brought meat and vegetables. He then sat down on the armrest of the sofa, but was frightened when he knocked Gu Yutian’s milk and splashed it on her face.

Gu Yansheng was also startled, he turned his hear to look at him for a while before reacting.

“When did you come back….”

Shen Kanyu took a quick deep breath and didn’t dare to look at Gu Yansheng as he lowered his head and drew a tissue to help Gu Yutian wipe her face.

The little girl opened her hand and her two water eyes looked at him as she puffed and twisted her face to hug Gu Yansheng.

“You ewbow away! Do not want you!”

Shen Kanyu froze for a moment then smiled and put his hand back. His voice a little low.

“Then daddy will help you wipe.”

Gu Yansheng took the little girl into his arms and looked Shen Kanyu reproachfully while wiping Gu Yutian’s face.

“Why are you scaring the child?”

He wasn’t able to say anything as Gu Yutian who was very aggrieved, with her face that was drenched with milk was not yet wipe cleaned said in full tears.

“Papa, Papa he doesn’t wove me, he aways bullies me!”

Gu Yunshenng hurriedly soothed in a soft voice.

“It’s not like that, Papa is just teasing you.”

Shen Kanyu sat there in a daze, not expecting the child to cry like this all of a sudden. He felt uncomfortable and wanted to reach out, to run to her and pat her head but he was afraid to make her more unhappy so he had to take his hand back and said in a dumb voice.

“I’m sorry sweety, Papa didn’t mean to.”

He didn’t meant to sit here, he just had some trouble standing and wanted to rest for a while otherwise he would have lost the strength to even stand and cook dinner for them.

The child was really frightened, she kept on crying and told him to go away. Gu Yansheng couldn’t coaxed him well for a while and had no choice but to say.

“Go to into the bedroom, and I’ll coax her again.”

“….Ok.”

Shen Kanyu nodded and didn’t dare to look at Gu Yunsheng, he just stood up on the sofa but stumbled and fell on the ground. The glass on the tea table was almost swept down by his arm, he quickly got up and pushed the glass as he smiled at Gu Yunsheng.

“Sorry, the slippers are too slippery. I’m going to cook, I got the hoof tendons today and it’s very fresh ah. Do you want to eat it spicy or braised?”

Gu Yansheng opened his mouth to ask how the slipper were slipper enough to make him stumble in place but Gu Yuntian made too much noise, and Shen Kanyu already continued to said his words.

“I bought a lot, how about half spicy and half braised? A’sheng?”

He picked up the meat that he had just put on the ground and repeated himself.

“Half each is very good.”

Gu Yansheng opened his mouth but before he could speak, he was interrupted by him.

“You were drunk last night, are you having a hangover today? There is honey water in the fridge, it can relieve your hangover. I’ll get some for you okay?”

“You….”

Gu Yansheng saw that his left hand carrying the bag was somewhat twisted and was covered with bruise and purple seizure marks. His hands was also shaking from the heavy bag he was holding.

“Your hand?”

“Oh….my hands, my hands are dirty.”

Shen Kenyu hastily hid his hands.

“A’sheng don’t worry I will wash them very clean before I go to cook.”

After saying this, he walked into the kitchen with a large bag of meat and vegetable with his trembling hands, and slightly hunched over.

—

Shen Kanyu cooked dinner for Gu Yansheng and Gu Yutian, he gently place the dishes in front of them but did not leave the table as usual and instead slowly sat down.

Gu Yutian saw that there was an egg yolk cake she loved to eat, she doesn’t even remember what just happened long ago as she excitedly forks it into the bowl and eats it.

Gu Yansheng thought Shen Kanyu was going to eat with them and felt comfortable but when he saw him just sitting there with his eyelashes lowered, not knowing what he was thinking he couldn’t help but asked.

“Aren’t you going to eat?”

Shen Kanyu heard his voice and said “En,” he slowly stood up holding the edge of the table but he just stood up and did not move for a while.

Gu Yansheng frowned.

“En what? Did you hear me?”

Shen Kanyu really didn’t hear what he was talking about, he just felt so tired that his eyesight and hearing became very poor. He wanted to sit lazily and have a rest but he forgot that this was the dining room and the place where he couldn’t sit. If A’sheng was talking to him that means he must want him to go.

A’sheng now should be particularly annoyed with him, hated him and wanted him to die immediately….he also has been loitering in around him making him feel unhappy.

Su Tong was now engaged, and A’sheng must be particularly annoyed to him now. If he was unhappy and wants to scold him and beat him, it doesn’t really matter to him but he doesn’t want to make him unhappy.

He held the table and stood for a while before he suddenly muttered.

“A’sheng sweety sorry ah….no fruit salad today. The fruit I bought today I dropped it and is dirty. If you want to eat I’ll go out later to buy another fruits. What fruits do you want?”

 Gu Yansheng looked up and saw an apologetic smile on his face, he does not looked unsightly at all as his face and lisp were rosy but his smile looked exceptionally strained.

“You can skip the fruit.”

Gu Yansheng answered his question then repeated her earlier question.

“Aren’t you going to eat?”

Once the words were out of his mouth he subconsciously went to look at the meal on the table and realized he has asked for nothing.

The meal that Shen Kanyu cooked was not a portion for three people.

And on