Waiting for You in a City

The following week in Di City was unusually dark and deserted. The red alert for smog lasted for seven days, and the PM2.5 value soared to over 500 several times.

Schools were closed, small shops were closed, and some companies, such as emerging industries in the CBD and foreign companies, had closures to allow employees to work from home.

But these were just a few.

Most of the office workers who were running around for their livelihood were still squeezing into the subway, sitting on the bus, driving their private cars, running along on their own paths. Their faces were covered by anti-smog masks, and their eyes were dazed and numb.

On this day, at 7:30 in the morning, the city had just barely awoken, but Song Yan had already led his team to finish a firefighting mission in the second half of the night.

In the winter morning, the temperature was very low.

The firefighters were covered in ashes, cold and tired, and exhaustion was written on everyone’s face. They parked next to a fire hydrant on the side of the road to wash the vehicle and hose.

While filling the truck with water, Song Yan sat on the curb and smoked, probably because he was tired, his mind was empty and he didn’t think about anything.

The surrounding visibility was less than ten meters. The overcast weather would stifle one’s mood.

The head of the squad was here, and several members came over and sat around on the ground. Song Yan passed the cigarette carton to them and each took one, silently puffing.

Everyone had toiled all night long and didn’t want to talk much.

And didn’t dare to.

Anyone with a discerning eye could see that something was wrong with Captain Song these days. Coming back from vacation this time he was more depressed than last time. You couldn’t see any difference when going out for missions or training, he was as rigorous and serious as before, would joke around with but also lecture others; but once things settled down, he seemed a little dispirited.

It was as if someone had stretched his muscles and broken his bones.

No one dared to ask.

The winter morning air was cold and acrid, making everyone’s expressions tremble.

Xiao Ge wrinkled his nose, red from the cold, and said: “I want to take a hot bath right now.”

Jiang Yi said: “I don’t need to take a shower, just give me a place to lie down and let me sleep for three days and three nights.”

Yang Chi: “Keep dreaming. There is still physical training today.”

Xiao Ge was still obsessed with his dirty appearance, saying: “Every time I come back from a mission, I only have this one wish.”

Tong Ming heard it, and smiled foolishly: “My wish is to have some hot water to drink, the tap water is too cold.”

Li Cheng did not speak, but looked eagerly at the breakfast shop across the street. The nearby residents were eating breakfast, steam rushing out, the aroma assailed his nostrils.

Yang Chi turned his head and asked Song Yan: “Ge, what about you? Every time the mission is over, what do you want the most?”

Song Yan smoked, looked at the group of young people who were pale in the wind, and said: “For everyone to be present.”

Everyone was stunned for a moment, then grinned.

“Stop laughing, each one of your fucking faces is darker than the next.” Song Yan took the last puff of his cigarette, twisted the cigarette butt from his mouth and pressed it out by his feet, stood up, “Everyone leave.”

The group of youths followed and got up from the ground: “Time to go back.”

Song Yan raised his chin and pointed to the opposite side: “Fill your stomachs first.”

“Okay!” The crowd cheered.

A bunch of people walked towards the breakfast shop, covered in dust. The people around hurried past, some cast a curious but short glance, some frowned at their messy appearance, some turned a blind eye and continued their day’s journey.

Everyone was used to the prosperity and stability of this city, just as they were used to its coldness and desolation.

……

Xu Qin had been sleeping drowsily for a week, the sleeping pills she got from Pan Qingqing helped. She didn’t know if she slept well, but at least she was able to fall asleep.

On the days of morning shifts, she gets up at 7:30.

While washing, the morning news was playing on the TV in the living room, house prices had risen together with PM2.5:

“House prices in the eight districts of Di City continue to rise, with an average price exceeding 62,000 per square meter; among them, the blocks by Qi Feng Road takes the lead in the whole city, the average price of the high-end community Zong Lu Gardens even reaches 140,000 per square……”

Xu Qin washed her face, thinking about the upcoming selection of attending physicians. If successful, the scope of her surgeries will be greatly expanded, and her salary will also increase significantly.

Just after washing, the phone rang. It was Fu Wenying calling, saying that it was a routine call to ask if she was doing well. But Xu Qin knew that she wanted to ask about her recent blind date.

Xu Qin went on a blind date again. When Fu Wenying proposed it, she had objected, but to no avail.

The other party was the son of a certain minister, rich and handsome, knowledgeable and talented, he said to Xu Qin: “You don’t have to do anything, you don’t even have to go to work, marry into my family and enjoy life with peace of mind, as long as you bear a son.”

Even Jiang Yu had been better.

Xu Qin said: “I don’t like him.”

Fu Wenying sighed: “Why do you look down on him?”

Xu Qin was silent for a long time, then said softly: “Mom, I’ve said before, I have someone I like. Can you—”

Suddenly there was such an impulse in her heart, she wanted to make a protest, but the words had only just begun, and could see no end, she knew that she was powerless.

The turbulent thoughts that had arisen without a head just now subsided in an instant without a tail.

Fu Wenying waited calmly for a while, realizing that she didn’t dare to speak, she just asked: “Qin Qin, what mom told you back then, you haven’t forgotten right? Listen to what mom says, okay?”

After hanging up the phone, Xu Qin stood there for a while, looking at her watch, it was time to go to work.

She went to the living room to get the remote control to turn off the TV, when the figure of a firefighter appeared on the screen:

“Yesterday afternoon, a child accidentally got stuck in the revolving door at the entrance of Xin Tian Di Plaza. The Qi Feng Road Fire Squadron rushed to the rescue after receiving the report……”

Xu Qin’s fingers slowed for a second, as if her thoughts had slipped, or as if there was a disharmony between her brain neurons and her fingers. After coming back to her senses, she quickly turned off the TV, took the keys and headed out.

But it was like a crack had opened in a glass bottle filled with sand, and hands desperately tried to stop it, but the sand continued to leak out of the crack.

With her back against the elevator wall, she stood in the downward elevator, her eyes were full of images of him leaving her home silently that day.

On the way to the hospital, she stopped at a red light, and her eyes saw the images again. She forced her mind to go blank and not to think about it.

When this compulsive subconsciousness was about to collapse, she quickly turned her head to look out the car window, only to see the dusky smog with tall buildings hidden within.

The whole world was desolate and depressing. Caught off guard, a red car sped past her line of sight. The car body was as bright as fire, drawing a streak of color against the gray background.

In an instant, the barrier of thinking was broken, and she suddenly thought: at this time, in another corner of this city, what was Song Yan doing?

On another block, Song Yan and the soldiers under him were huddled in a small shop for breakfast.

Everyone was already hungry, youtiao, soy milk, noodles, soup dumplings, and steamed dumplings were all served on the table, and whatever they could get their hands on was delivered into their mouths.

The indoor heating was high, and the tables were next to the steamer in the kitchen. The faces that were pale in the cold wind not long ago gradually turned rosy.

Song Yan didn’t eat much, and he wasn’t in a hurry. He looked up at his brothers from time to time, all young soldiers from all corners of the country. The youngest was nineteen years old, and the oldest was only twenty-five.

By next year, he may leave; some of them would end active service next year, unable to stay and need to resettle, and face changing jobs.

Iron-clad army camps with overflowing soldiers, most soldiers could not continue to work in the army.

Xiao Ge sucked on the noodles and asked Jiang Yi: “Jiang ge, where do you plan to go after retiring next year?”

Jiang Yi smiled: “Go back to my hometown and see if I want to be a security guard or do auto repair.”

Li Cheng said: “Think of other paths, you can also go into entrepreneurship to do specialty fire management.”

Jiang Yi said: “There are so many soldiers that retire every year, how can that be up to me? Besides, I am from the countryside. It doesn’t matter if I don’t have a background, but I can’t trust anyone.”

Song Yan didn’t say a word, but buried himself in eating noodles.

Working in firefighting all these years, every year they would send their comrades to retire and demobilize. Everyone was born in poverty and had no way out. The skills learned in the team had nowhere to be used outside in society. They could only return to their hometowns to do some unskilled work to make ends meet.

Come in obscurity, leave in obscurity.

Song Yan changed the topic: “The higher ups said that the salary will be raised next year.”

Everyone was excited: “By how much?”

Song Yan: “Three hundred.”

Everyone was very happy, Yang Chi calculated silently in his heart, and smiled happily: “That’s great, it’ll be four thousand five hundred a month.”

Li Cheng envied: “I only have around three thousand.”

Yang Chi said: “You just got here, let it simmer.”

Li Cheng nodded: “Yeah.”

Song Yan smiled very lightly, and said: “From next year, the system will be reformed, and weekends will also be off on rotation. It won’t be so tiring.”

Li Cheng looked indifferent: “Anyway, I have nowhere to go on vacation.”

Xiao Ge glared at him: “Sleep. I’m exhausted from this day-to-day.”

Yang Chi: “Xiao Ge, you are tired all day long, do you use your right hand too much?”

Xiao Ge: “I’ll kick you to death!”

When the boys were frolicking together, a young girl walked by the table, Xiao Ge inadvertently turned his head and looked, following her with his eyes. Song Yan looked over and saw that the girl was about the same age as Xiao Ge, petite and delicate, she bought breakfast and left.

Song Yan looked at Xiao Ge again, and saw in his eyes the most primitive love and desire of young men for women, which was fleeting. When Xiao Ge turned his head back, the smile disappeared, and he looked down at the black ash all over his body, and fell silent.

Song Yan drank the soy milk, feeling so complicated that he didn’t know what to think.

It was at this moment that he thought of his girl.

These days he was busy training and on duty, not thinking about her. But when he thought of her now, it was like a sharp knife pierced his heart, a hole was torn open, and cold wind poured into it.

He had fallen short.

……

The smog was getting heavier day by day, schools continued to be closed, and hospitals continued to operate as usual.

These days, Xu Qin didn’t order takeout anymore, ate in the cafeteria at lunchtime, and found that the food was becoming more and more unpalatable. When she was about to throw it away, she thought of Song Yan again, remembering that he said that the food in the army base was better.

That’s right, soldiers needed physical strength the most, and they couldn’t do without a good meal.

But her job also required physical strength, and after thinking about it, she reluctantly ate a few more bites.

Unlike outpatient clinics, there was no lunch break in the emergency department, and you had to rush back to work after lunch.

This afternoon, Xu Qin completed an operation as the chief surgeon.

Although the difficulty of the operation was not small, the degree of completion was very high. At the end, Xu Qin found that Professor Xu Ken was watching in the observation room next door the whole time, with a serious expression on his face, she was unable to tell if it was good or bad.

Seeing that the operation was over, he turned and left expressionlessly.

Xu Qin quickly packed herself up and ran out to chase after Professor Xu Ken.

“Professor Xu!” Xu Qin ran all the way into the stairwell, and the safety door slammed shut behind her.

Xu Ken stopped.

“I saw that you had watched the operation just now, and I would like to ask you for advice. Do you have any suggestions or pointers for me? Your opinions are very valuable. Thank you.”

The answer was: “Your technique is perfect, I don’t have much to teach you.”

Xu Qin knew Xu Ken’s personality well, he wouldn’t say polite words, that’s for sure. But—

“But you still have a problem with me, don’t you?”

Xu Ken said: “You treat patients like you treat a rabbit in an experiment.”

Xu Qin had always been aware of the differences between Professor Xu and her. She thought it was a difference of opinion between people, which was harmless; and she had always disliked talking and communicating with people, so she had never pointed it out.

But now, the selection for attending physicians had entered a critical juncture, and this disagreement may affect her promotion. If relying on the Meng family’s connections, she would be confident of success, but this time, she hoped to rely on herself like never before.

Forced onto this path, there was no way back. She might as well open up this discussion.

Xu Qin said: “Professor Xu, you and I look at medicine in different ways, but we have the same goal, as long as we save people. You think that doctors need heart and emotion, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with me solving problems using the attitude of a calm and cool-headed spectator, it’s nothing more than a difference of opinion.”

“Medical professionals should be human first.” Xu Ken did not answer directly, but asked instead, “Doctor Xu, do you remember the oath you made when you chose the path of medicine?”

Xu Qin was slightly stunned, her eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“I will uphold the honor and noble traditions of the medical profession. I will give the greatest respect to human life.” Professor Xu said after reading this oath,

“You lack the most basic respect for life, and you have violated the doctor’s oath. The honor and tradition of medicine are not in the hands of people like you. It is precisely because you are an extremely gifted surgeon that it pains me so much.”

After Professor Xu finished speaking, he went downstairs and left.

Xu Qin stood where she was, with a difficult state of mind.

Professor Xu Ken’s words seemed to shock her slightly, but the shock was too pompous-sounding, and she didn’t seem to be that touched by it.

This feeling was like a spider’s thread wrapped around her heart, untouchable but lingering.

When Xu Qin pushed open the security door and went out to the hallway, she raised her head unintentionally, and was greeted with a jolt in her heart.

She saw Song Yan, dressed in an olive green military uniform, with a straight figure, standing by the window at the end of the corridor.

Xu Qin didn’t react for a second or two, she didn’t know why he appeared here at this moment in time. This was also the first time she had seen him wearing a military uniform, a military cap, and a tight belt, which made his shoulders appear wider and his back straighter. Tall and long-legged, the whole being was heroic, tall and straight like a poplar.

Song Yan originally was looking to the side, as if sensing something, his eyes moved over and fell on her.

She had just gotten off the operating table, wearing a light green surgical gown, gray hole shoes on the soles of her feet, and a surgical cap on her head. Looking at him at this moment, her eyes were slightly narrowed, and her expression was still numb.

The whole person could be described by three words: dirty, messy, and poor, extremely unkempt.

Xu Qin was stunned for a second or two, and the first thing she did after she realized it was to quickly tear off the surgical cap on her head, her long black hair fell instantly.

She hastily patted at her hair twice, and was about to walk in his direction unconsciously. She leaned forward and hadn’t taken a step yet. Remembering the promise they made to never see each other again, she quickly stopped and turned in the opposite direction. After turning around, she found that there was a wall behind her, no way out……

She had to turn back to face him again.

Song Yan’s eyes were still, watching her frantic movements from afar.

Xu Qin’s gaze avoided him, she walked towards him boldly, hurriedly, and headed straight to the corner of the hallway between the two of them.

Reaching the corner and about to turn, the safety door beside Song Yan was pushed open, and Deputy Director Liu of the hospital’s logistics support department came out: “Sorry, sorry, Captain Song, I kept you waiting. The people below me were careless, and the information got mixed up you see —eh? Xiao Xu?”

Doctor Xu, who had been called out by a higher-up, calmly came to a stop.