Waiting for You in a City

On the day of the earthquake rescue commendation meeting, Xu Qin went to the hospital, changed into a white coat, and set off with her colleagues.

When they arrived at the hall and got out of the car, several groups of soldiers were marching in line to the venue, the men each held their heads high and walked in unison.

Most of the doctors and nurses were women, the team was idle, trotting and chattering, crazy about the handsome men in the team next door. After all, the upper body of the military uniform was tall and straight, with long arms and long legs, they were really heroic.

The soldiers didn’t look sideways, but they secretly glanced at the nurses from the corner of their eyes. When the young boys heard the girls’ crisp and melodious laughter, they were more or less yearning for it.

The two groups of people entered the venue in very different styles.

Two-thirds of the audience seats were allocated to the military. Health workers, journalists and social aid workers made up the remaining one-third.

Xu Qin and her colleagues looked for a seat together and glanced at the soldiers. Rows of soldiers sat upright and looked imposing.

Xu Qin grew up in the Meng family and could tell the difference in the subtleties of the military uniforms, and soon found the armed police fire brigade, four or five rows behind her. But she was in the left zone, and they were in the central zone.

Her gaze crossed the soldier’s faces, and she suddenly saw Song Yan.

He sat upright with his back straight, perhaps sensing it, his gaze moved over with no expression on his face, but the next second, he winked at her.

She couldn’t help but purse her lips and smile, after she sat down, she looked back at him again, there was no figure to block her view, which was good.

This commendation party was broadcast live nationwide during prime time, there was still half an hour before the start, the people in the audience were basically seated.

Several presenters dressed in Chinese costumes were on the stage exchanging manuscripts, the staff was busy.

The soldier’s area was quiet, and someone from Xu Qin’s side spoke in a low voice. Not long after she sat down, she wanted to go to the bathroom, so she got up to go to the bathroom.

When she came out of the bathroom, she ran into Song Yan. He was wearing a military uniform and held a military cap in his hand.

She laughed, trotted over a few steps, staring at him with twinkling eyes: “You followed me?”

“En, I came to see you.” He said, “It’s not easy to meet each other.” He glanced up and down at her as he spoke.

She put her hands in her pockets, feeling uncomfortable: “It’s weird to wear a white coat when not working, but the leader requested us to wear like this.”

“It’s pretty.” Song Yan said, still remembering, “How’s your hand?”

She raised her wrist to show him that the wound had scabbed over. He held her hand, stroked her wrist with his rough thumb, and didn’t touch the wound: “It should be healed soon.”

“En.” She pursed her lips and smiled, her eyes wandering around him unconsciously.

“What are you looking at?”

“You’re so handsome in a military uniform.” Xu Qin said, her fingers touched his military uniform, the rough and hard fabric, very textured, she was reluctant to let go, she touched around, whispered, “Can you wear it home?”

“Do you like it?” He asked in a low voice, his voice a little seductive.

She nodded: “I like it.”

“Good.” He whispered in her ear, “I’ll wear it back next time.” As she spoke, her fingers hooked the pockets of her white coat and pulled it, “What about you, can you sneak this one back?”

“I can.” She said, her cheeks were hot for some reason.

He smiled: “Well, it’s settled.”

Someone came over from the other side of the bathroom, and he slightly distanced himself from her, withdrew his smile, and said, “Go in.”

“En.”

The entrances for the two seats were not at the same place, and Song Yan entered first.

Xu Qin walked to another entrance, and a soldier walked over. After rubbing shoulders, he called out, “Doctor Xu?”

She turned around, it was Lu Jie.

She didn’t have a good impression of him, so she nodded expressionlessly.

“I didn’t expect to meet here again.” Lu Jie was still so hearty, “Song Yan should be here too, but I haven’t seen him yet.”

Xu Qin was in no mood to talk to him, and said, “The conference is about to start, I’ll go in first.”

Lu Jie mistakenly thought that she was displeased when she heard Song Yan’s name, so he let it go.

The two went their separate ways.

But Lu Jie finally couldn’t hold back anymore, and said to her back: “It’s really impossible for you and Song Yan?”

There was no one else in the outer hall, and the echo was empty.

Xu Qin stopped and turned around: “What?”

Lu Jie smiled suddenly: “I just think it’s a pity that he has loved you for so many years. He entered military school for you, became a special forces soldier for you, so many hardships experienced, why couldn’t you guys be together?”

Xu Qin was stunned: “He….. What military school, special forces?”

……

In the venue, the host walked up to the stage: “There are still five minutes left before the start of the conference, please take your seats as soon as possible and do not move around at will.”

Song Yan glanced at Xu Qin’s seat, which was empty.

Ten minutes had passed and she had not yet entered. He couldn’t help but frown.

……

Outside the venue, the hall was resplendent and silent.

Xu Qin stood alone, her face pale.

Lu Jie’s words appeared in front of her eyes like frames of pictures.

He said that Song Yan was the hardest and most desperate one in their team. He gritted his teeth and endured the devilish training like carrying weights, launching into the water, and skydiving.

He worked hard day and night, performed missions again and again, made meritorious deeds, until the last time, he suddenly became a traitor who betrayed military secrets.

Lu Jie said that he always clearly remembered that day, Song Yan was disarmed and dragged away in front of all his teammates, and later he only knew that he had committed a crime that was serious enough to be executed. There was a private way of punishing traitors in the team, and he couldn’t survive the torture.

He also said that Song Yan was not that kind of person, but he couldn’t save him, let alone who wanted to put him to death. He always thought that Song Yan was dead. It was not until this year when he met him again in Wang Xiang that he asked that absurd question: “Are you not dead?”

Xu Qin’s mind circled around those words dumbly,

I don’t know who wanted him dead.

I don’t know who wanted him dead.

Fu Wenying’s mocking smile appeared in front of her eyes: “His name is Song…what is it again?”

Zhai Miao’s accusation in the courtyard half a year ago was also suddenly clear: “It’s not enough that you almost killed my brother!”

The disgusting and bitter emotions swept up from the limbs and bones little by little, and suddenly overwhelmed the river and the sea,

Xu Qin stood on the spot, panting heavily, she turned stiffly and walked out, just as she took a step, the security guard rushed up and grabbed her and pushed her into the arena: “The conference is about to start, why are you dawdling, hurry up go in!”

Xu Qin was pushed into the venue, the door closed behind her, and her eyes were full of splendor. On the stage, red and green dancers rushed onto the stage, and impassioned music sounded.

She stood at the exit of the sound system, trembling all over. She didn’t know where to go. She wanted to go back out of the gate, but Xiao Nan ran over and pulled her back, “Doctor Xu, why are you running around? Go back to your seat, this is a live broadcast!”

She was forcibly pulled back to her seat and sat down. The music and performance on the stage highlighted the theme of the earthquake and became more tragic.

Her eyes were out of focus, her gaze was scattered, she didn’t know where to look.

Behind her, Song Yan glanced at her, only the back of her head could be seen.

After the opening song and dance, several hosts came to the stage and chanted their praises. Xu Qin sat under the stage, all kinds of emotions were surging in her heart, and she almost wanted to vomit. Recitation, poetry, performance, one show after another, with constant applause, she couldn’t sit still, and every second became extremely tormented.

Just when she was about to stand up and run away, she suddenly heard her own name: “Xu Qin, a burn surgeon at the Third Military Hospital…”

She woke up suddenly, the people around her were pushing her. It was her turn, it was time for the commendation session. She and Song Yan had to go on stage.

She turned around and saw that Song Yan had gotten up from his seat, the applause was thunderous, she stood up and walked onto the stage.

The ceiling lights were on, and her face was pale.

Song Yan and her met in the center of the stage, quickly glanced at her, and found that she was a little strange, but standing under everyone’s sight at the moment, he couldn’t say anything.

The host introduced to the audience and the live TV audience their touching stories of rescuing the baby.

Xu Qin knew the importance and suppressed everything in her heart, when it was her turn to speak, she could still say calmly: “This is what I should do, the duty of a doctor is to save people.”

But after saying this, she didn’t have much to say, and the host praised: “Dr. Xu is not good with words, she talks less and does more.”

Xu Qin was taken aback. Talk less, do more, wasn’t this the man in military uniform next to her?

Her nose was sore, she couldn’t help it, she just wanted to step down at the moment, but there were still people to commend, the host introduced one by one, and other soldiers came on stage one by one.

She and Song Yan stood to the side slightly, and when they retreated to the side, Song Yan asked very lowly: “What’s wrong? Under the weather?”

She hurriedly made an excuse: “I seem to have eaten something bad.”

He whispered: “Endure it a little longer, we’ll step down soon.”

“En.” She glanced at his profile. Ever since she came to the stage, she has been afraid to look him in the eye, fearing that she would cry. At this moment, his side face was also quiet and calm, neither showing mountains nor revealing water, not revealing a trace of dark past.

Xu Qin blinked her eyes vigorously, reminding herself that she was still on the stage, she was about to look away, but at this moment, she saw Song Yan quickly glance at the other soldiers in the center of the stage, special forces, artillery, PLA, and armored troops.

He glanced at their military uniforms, then looked flatly at the audience.

Xu Qin suddenly remembered the night when Song Yan looked at the soldiers who walked past him, and the look in his eyes was the same one just now.

He was envious.

Like a little boy with only paper airplanes, he envied other children’s remote-controlled planes and tanks.

She couldn’t hold back any longer, and tears welled up in her eyes like crazy.

She quickly turned her head, let the tears flow, and quickly wiped them when it had dripped enough. People in the audience thought that she was touched by the deeds of other people, she didn’t feel different.

Finally, the leader came to give the certificate, the crowd applauded, and it was time to step down.

Xu Qin did not go down to Song Yan’s side, she quickly walked in the opposite direction.

There was also thunderous applause from the audience, and she rushed out of the venue without returning to the audience.

She appeared on the streets on a winter night in a white coat, stopped a car, and went straight to the west.

It took more than half an hour to reach the compound.

The servant came to open the door and said that they were in the tea hall.

Xu Qin did not change her shoes, she stepped directly into the doorway, walked quickly through the living room, and entered the tea hall.

Meng Huaijin and Fu Wenying were making tea, and they were a little surprised to see her sudden visit.

Fu Wenying didn’t intend to talk to her, but seeing that her face was cold, her feet were still wearing shoes, she frowned: “What are you doing?”

Xu Qin walked to the tea table, looked down at Fu Wenying, and asked, “Was it you? Was it you who almost killed Song Yan six or seven years ago?”

Fu Wenying’s face changed suddenly, and she paused for a second: “Who told you that?”

Xu Qin understood, and a large tear rolled down her cheek.

The tea hall was quiet, no one spoke, no one comforted.

She wiped the tears from her face and turned her head to look at Meng Huaijin: “Dad, you too?”

Meng Huaijin’s eyebrows furrowed, but he shook his head again: “Qin Qin, Dad doesn’t know what to say.”

Fu Wenying: “This matter has nothing to do with your father. He knew later.”

She downplayed it, had nothing else to say, let alone an apology, no explanation at all.

Xu Qin stood there, trembled and waited for a full minute, but no one spoke, as if it was just a trivial matter that could be passed by turning the page.

But this time, she couldn’t let it go.

She wiped a handful of tears from her face and whispered:

“Mom, I’ve always treated you as my own mother, and I’ve never hated you. Even if you objected to me being with Song Yan, hit me, ignored me, even if you meddled in my work, I have never hated you. ……I’ve been thinking about taking the initiative to reconcile with you. I’ve always thought it’s just your personality, not that you don’t treat me as a daughter. ……”

When she said this, she took a breath and wanted to continue to speak calmly, but tears flowed uncontrollably, she couldn’t bear it, and cried out in a lost voice:

“I’m just a fool. I’m a tool you kept at home for you to marry off. Just because this tool had a human nature and had thoughts about having feelings, started not listening to you, you were afraid that she would break away from your control, so you wanted to destroy her beloved, so that she would never be lured off track by him, so that she would have no more expectations in this life, and obediently be your puppet doll!”

Her shoulders were shaking from crying, as if she had been betrayed: “You didn’t regard me as your daughter at all? Not at all! …Liar!”

She looked at Meng Huaijin and burst into tears,

“That’s not what you said when you picked me up from the orphanage. You said you would take me home, that you were my father, and that you would love me like a father. You said it! You said it yourself! …Liar, liar!”

Meng Huaijin’s eyes were wet, his cheeks twitched slightly, and he didn’t say a word.

Fu Wenying couldn’t sit still anymore, and said sharply: “How could you talk to your parents like this?! Have all these years of your upbringing been in vain?! How can any parent be perfect?! You clearly remember only the bad, and you have completely forgotten all the good. Who raised you all these years, who took care of you when you were sick, who helped you out when you were bullied? You have lived with this family for so many years, just for this one thing, for this man, you would deny everything your parents have done, break it off with your parents? I’m not a perfect mother, but are you a perfect daughter?!”

Her voice was so harsh, Xu Qin stopped suddenly, the venting in her head just now was cut off in the middle, her mind was suddenly blank, leaving only barrenness.

She looked at her blankly, her face mottled with tears.

Meng Huaijin sighed heavily, lowered his head and held his hand to support his forehead.

Fu Wenying said coldly: “Qin Qin, what I have done, I will not deny it. But you should also think about it, you think I disappoint you, but as a daughter, did you not also disappoint me!”

“Hypocrite.” Xu Qin said suddenly.

“What did you say about me?”

“Hypocrite. I let you down? It’s just that I fell in love with him. You say he is not worthy of me, what qualifications do you have? To be able to do such a thing, what qualifications do you have? You consider yourself noble, but regard a person’s life as an ant, and secretly plot his murder. What qualifications do you have to say that he is not worthy? You are the one who is not worthy. You are not even worthy of saying that you are a ‘good person’!”

Fu Wenying turned livid and stood up: “If you dare to say one more thing, I—”

“Come kill me!” Xu Qin’s eyes were red, “If I’m no longer obedient, come kill me!”

Fu Wenying was stunned for a moment, not knowing that a child who never knew how to resist would be like this.

Xu Qin gasped violently, and said word by word: “I will not pursue what he suffered at the beginning, and half the life he lost. From now on, I have nothing to do with you. I am warning you, don’t hurt him again. Yes, in your eyes, I have nothing, but I will die for him.”

After she finished speaking, she turned around and left, but when she looked up, she saw a family portrait hanging on the wall. In the photo, Meng Huaijin and Fu Wenying were sitting on a bench, and she and Meng Yanchen were standing on both sides.

The family looked happy.

Looking at the picture, tears flowed like a gate again, she suddenly bent down, and burst into tears. Her thin body trembled from top to bottom.

Meng Huaijin saw her stop and got up: “Qin Qin——”

But in the next second, Xu Qin rushed forward, grabbed the photo frame, tore it off and smashed it to the ground. With a loud bang, the wooden frame broke and the glass shattered.

She cried convulsively, and hurried out the door.

There was a sudden dead silence in the house.

Meng Huaijin covered his eyes and sat down slumped.

Fu Wenying stood in place, pursed her lips tightly, her chest rose and fell violently, she restrained herself with all her strength, and was about to sit down slowly, but she was suddenly startled, her whole body felt cold——

Meng Yanchen stood on the steps at the other end of the living room, his face pale.