Waiting for You in a City

The night was silent and the street lights were dim.

The white car was parked beside the clean and deserted street, shaking gently.

The car was full of roses, with delicate fragrance and soft petals.

Xu Qin’s nervous and hasty voice filled the air: “Will someone find out……what if I’m seen?”

Song Yan’s eyes were deep and dark, he kissed her blushing cheeks and her jade-like shoulders: “It’s so late, there won’t be anyone.”

“But……ah……”

“……Hurts?”

“En.”

“You’re too nervous.” He stretched out his hand to stroke, “Relax.”

“……Mmm……”

She raised her neck, gasped for breath, huddled in her seat and did not dare to get up. Being teased by him, she seemed afraid, but at the same time seemed very comfortable.

She looked out of the window from time to time, frightened, ashamed, but also excited and taboo. She also became more sensitive, her feeling of weakness was exponentially magnified, and she was thrown into the clouds again and again.

Her body was hot, her mind was not clear, she was dizzy as the car swayed back and forth. Finally, she was so tired that she fell asleep in a daze.

While she was sleeping, she only felt that he was breathing heavily in her ears, the lights and shadows outside the window were mottled.

She didn’t know how long it had been since she fell asleep, but felt him arrange her clothes softly and quietly.

The car moved.

There should have been street lights, but his coat shaded her eyes. She was unconscious and in a deep sleep.

After the car stopped, Song Yan wrapped her up and carried her.

Xu Qin moved subconsciously and wanted to go by herself, but he whispered in her ear: “Sleep well. I’ll carry you home.”

She gave up struggling and leaned softly into his arms. She could only vaguely feel the cold wind in the winter night, his heartbeat was powerful and lively.

She was later put on the bed and fell asleep comfortably.

This sleep was extremely peaceful, and the sky was bright when she woke up. She was sleepy, stretched her legs and feet under the blankets, rolled over to hug Song Yan, felt around, but there was no one beside her on the bed.

She opened her eyes and saw that the sun was shining brightly outside the rows of wooden windows, the breeze was stirring the gauze curtains, and the walls were light blue.

This……

She sat up at once, and was surprised to find that she was on a big lavender round bed, with a light gray carpet spread out next to it and a white hanging basket of flowers.

This room……

On the left wall was a beige wardrobe, and on the right was a row of wooden windows. The light purple curtains were open, only a thin layer of gauze was drawn, the shade from the trees could be seen outside the window.

A wind chime swayed, tinkling.

Beside the window, sunlight sprinkled over a lounge chair.

The light gray floor extended into the small sitting area, housing a built-in wooden sofa and wooden coffee table. The interior colors were mainly light blue, lavender and light gray, quiet and low-key, pleasing to the eye.

Xu Qin got out of bed, opened the wooden door and walked to the living room,

Ivory walls, brown floors, crescent-colored TV wall, built-in sofa, birch coffee table.

Outside the north-facing window was filled with trees.

The south side faced the courtyard, the front door was open, the sunlight flooded across the floor.

She was even more delighted that a central area was set up behind the sofa in the living room.

A large rectangular wooden table was loosely surrounded by six wooden chairs, already lined with cushions. The table had been specially designed for easy wiring.

There were several floor plugs under the table, this would allow the whole family to gather together to work and complete assignments. The entire wall behind it was filled with bookcases from the floor to the ceiling, divided into countless small square compartments.

Even if there were a group of children in the future, the books of the whole family could be collected in it. There was also a large soft sofa area by the window, full of pillows, perhaps for people to nestle in and read.

Xu Qin’s breathing was a little unsteady.

Stepping out of the threshold, the yard was planted with trees, paved with grass, and had cobblestone paths. The courtyard had been remodeled, a square corridor connected all the rooms. There were milky white lamps and wind chimes hanging along the hallways.

To the east were two separate small bedrooms, and to the west were the kitchen and dining room. The kitchen as a whole was light green, clean and elegant, while the dining room was light apricot, with a hint of bright yellow on the walls, and a small bouquet of daisies rested on the white dining table.

On the other side of the corridor leading to the front gate, there was a big tree with thick branches, which seemed to have been growing for many years. She couldn’t identify the type of tree.

She only recognized at the side of the courtyard, near the bedroom, there were loquat trees and a cherry tree.

The entire courtyard house was very beautiful.

She went around the whole house, but couldn’t find Song Yan, so she sat on the steps of the winding corridor and waited.

She was obviously very happy, but for some reason, she shed tears for no reason.

That year, though she was still young, she envied uncle’s courtyard house. The whole family lived in it happily, laughing every day.

She said: Song Yan, I really like your family.

He said: It’s useless to just say it, do you dare join my household registry?

She was silent for a long time, then said: Then give me a courtyard house.

“I don’t like anything in this world, and I don’t want to go out and meet other people.”

“I just want a courtyard house, and for you to lock me inside it.”

She sniffed slightly, wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes.

Silly,

What she envied was not uncle’s courtyard house, but uncle’s happy home.

From the other side of the screen wall came the sound of a door opening, and the sound of boxes rolling on the ground.

Song Yan went up the corridor, dragging two boxes and paper bags. He had gone to his uncle’s house to move things.

“Why are you sitting there?”

Before he finished speaking, she crossed the courtyard and flew up to wrap her arms around his waist:

“Song Yan……”

In an instant, all kinds of emotions rushed into her heart, and tears flowed out.

He took a step back after being bumped by her, stood still, touched her back, and teased her: “You don’t like it so much you’re crying?”

She immediately shook her head and choked up:

“Song Yan, I like it so much that I don’t need to go outside for the rest of my life. I already didn’t like anything outside, so I can stay here for the rest of my life.”

Song Yan was stunned, thinking that she would be very happy, but did not expect such a big reaction. She eagerly finished those words, and then said nothing, tears streaming down her face.

He stroked her head with his big palm, wanting to comfort her, she asked sadly: “Song Yan, how did you make it through these ten years?”

He immediately pursed his lips.

Ten years, how did he make it through?

By surviving.

That time when she was drunk, she accused him of not making any effort to get closer to her.

What she didn’t know was,

In order to marry her and be with her, he had saved for ten years and struggled for ten years.

Even though he was hit hard that time, on the verge of collapse. But everyday after that, he never had a day where he was content with the status quo, and never had a day where he thought about just muddling along until they could meet again.

He had a plan, from early on.

In the early days, although the housing prices on Wu Fang Street were not high, it was a huge sum of money for him. On his twentieth birthday, without knowing where the courage came from, he spent all the funds left by his father in one go and paid the down payment. It was quite smart of him to choose the progressive repayment plan with low upfront and high follow-up, thinking wishfully that his wages and the rent would be enough to pay off the mortgage. As the housing loan gradually increased, he would also get promotions and increase his salary.

He didn’t expect to encounter a disaster midway.

He was tortured for half a month, and was later rescued. The charges changed from solid to doubtful. He knew who had saved him. At that time, he was too proud, too full of hatred, too humiliated, he fell onto the ground shapeless. Although he was unable to utter with a clear voice, he still wanted to curse the person who ruined his original family.

He lost the chance to be completely cleared. He was innocent but not innocent enough. He couldn’t stay in his original team and was thrown into what people said was the most unpromising team, starting from scratch.

Those were the darkest days of his life.

Dreams were shattered, career was set back, and his body was neglected, the courtyard house was about to be lost.

He was desperately trying to produce good results, make meritorious services, get promotions, attentively watching the assessment bonuses, performance bonuses, merit bonuses……fixing his attention to the salary increases for non-commissioned officers, promotion to squad leader, and promotion to platoon leader.

But no matter how hard he tried, vacancies appeared, and he couldn’t make ends meet. Growing up, it was the first time in his life that he asked a friend to borrow money. When the time limit expired and he couldn’t pay back the loan, he couldn’t break his promise, so out of desperation he was forced to get a private loan.

At that time, he didn’t even know where Xu Qin was and whether she would come back. But it was like he had lost his mind, he was a gambler, a lunatic, he just wanted to do everything in his power to hold onto the most important things.

He couldn’t remember clearly the first few years of dark times. He only remembered that even when he went home every month he would wear his army camouflage uniforms and rubber-soled shoes. All his food, clothing, and daily necessities were provided by the military, he didn’t buy anything and had no other expenses. Every single penny was used to pay off his debts.

But even though he was forced to live like that, every month that passed, it felt like he had won another battle, as if his home was getting a little bit more real.

Little by little, he found the feeling of existing in the world.

Even though Xu Qin’s appearance occasionally appeared blurry in his mind, he somehow felt that she would definitely come back.

Just like that fight at the skating rink, she left with Meng Yanchen, but she came back the next day.

Maybe she didn’t notice it herself, but as long as she realized that Song Yan was waiting for her,

She would go back to him.

It was just that after many of those next days, she still didn’t come back.

Gradually, year by year, housing prices began to soar, and rents doubled again and again. He was promoted step by step, and the burden on his shoulders was gradually lifted.

But because he had borrowed high-interest private loans in the early stages, he had only paid off his debts one after another three years ago.

Fortunately, at that time, the rent had already exceeded the loan amount by several times. He finally had enough money to spare, was able to look into renovations, and asked his uncle to help design and build furniture.

He flipped through books every day, researching that purple promoted sleep, blue made people calm, green was suitable for the kitchen, and yellow promoted appetite.

He also learned about flowers, plants and trees. The fragrance should not be too strong to attract insects, and it was best to include all seasons of the year for the flowering period.

And now, the house was clean and in order.

The furniture was all thanks to his uncle’s help. After taking away the small cost of renovations, there was only about 300,000 yuan left, more than half of which was used to buy the ring, and the rest was mortgaged for a car.

His current salary was more than enough to cover the car loan.

He couldn’t bear for her to wait in line for a taxi during peak hours, let alone squeeze onto the subway. It was not a bad idea to pay in advance for the happiness of sending her to and from work.

As for why he had to buy a white BMW.

Because on that rainy night in August, he rescued that car.

But she had forgotten.

She thought that he was going to save an ordinary citizen that day, and that it was the first time he saw her car.

She had forgotten.

At the very beginning, on the day when Wu Fang Street caught on fire, when her car blocked the fire lane, he had memorized her license plate.

On that rainy night, he gritted his teeth and was determined to push the car up, but it was because he knew that the person in the car was her.

His woman, her everyday life memory was not very good.

But, it didn’t matter.

It would be a surprise to tell her when they got older.

When their hair became gray, and they were sitting in the yard basking in the sun, he would tell her:

Dear wife, that white BMW, you really can’t remember?

I’ll give you a hint, the fire lane.

Then she would laugh,

Perhaps,

Or would she weep and cry like right now?

……

Song Yan told Xu Qin that he had bought the house very early on, in a concise and comprehensive manner, omitting the difficult first half, and joked: “I bought it early, and even earned a lot of rent.”

Xu Qin was doing mental calculations, he picked up two boxes and walked inside: “What are you doing standing here, come over and organize things.”

She regained her senses and followed.

When he carried the boxes across the threshold, he put the big paper bag by the door and said: “I’ve transported some of it first, I’ll bring the rest back slowly in the future.”

The two entered indoors and cleaned up together.

Xu Qin was a little dazed at first, unable to react, always holding things in her hands, but didn’t know where to put them.

But she naturally felt close to this home, so she quickly became more casual, checked the structure of the closet, and quickly divided the coats, sweaters, underwear, pants, socks, and bags into their respective places.

There were a lot of sundries.

Back and forth, she ran to the central area to put away books, and then ran to the living room to put away a pair of nail clippers, put the charging cable on the big wooden table, and put the plush toys in the hanging basket.

Song Yan didn’t have many things, so he put them away quickly, and leaned against the wall to watch her busily and excitedly run around, like the female master of the house.

A sunny room, in a good mood.

“Do you need help?”

“I’ll do it myself.” She enjoyed the fun of tidying up her own home.

Song Yan saw that, so he didn’t take it away from her.

He went out and lay down on the soft couch on the balcony of the cloister, with his hands behind his head and his eyes closed, basking in the sun.

He went to bed too late yesterday after spending a lot of energy, and got up too early today, making him a little sleepy.

The sun was warm at the moment, and the shadow of the loquat tree fell on his face.

He heard the rustling of soft slippers on the wooden floor in the house, as she ran back and forth in and out. Hearing her shuttling around within his hearing range, he slightly bent his lips and slowly fell asleep.

Not long after, she finished tidying up at the other end, crawled over to his side, and lay down with her arms around his waist.

He closed his eyes and asked, “Done putting everything away?”

“En.” She leaned her face against his shoulder, his black sweater had been warmed by the sun.

The two nestled together quietly for a while, but she was still thinking about it,

“Song Yan?”

“En?”

“Have you had a hard time these past ten years?”

He slowly opened his eyes: “It was okay.”

She didn’t believe it, but she didn’t let him see her gaze, and smiled shyly: “Really?”

“Really.” His tone was very indifferent, “There are hardships during training, but it’s like that for all soldiers. When I joined the army, I made a vow to work hard and fight hard, so I just stuck to that. Suffering some hardships is nothing.”

“Vow? We also have vows when we study medicine.” She was easily distracted by him, “What is the vow to be a soldier?” She shook his body, “I want to hear it.”

His stomach was tickled by her shaking, he couldn’t help laughing, and frowned slightly: “Let me think about it.” He pursed his lips for a moment, “En. How should I put it, serve the people……not afraid of sacrifice, loyal to duty,” at first he couldn’t remember clearly, but gradually he said more and more smoothly, “Work hard and fight hard; under no circumstances, never betray the motherland or the army.”

Xu Qin was taken aback.

It suddenly occurred to her that the day after she got drunk, he went to her house to look for her, and the promise he made to her back then was……

He saw her expression and knew she remembered.

He smiled lightly and said: “Yes, and I will never betray you.”

She squeezed closer to him, leaned her head against the hollow of his neck, closed her eyes, and tried not to think about the predicament at that time, there was warm liquid in her eyes moistening her eyelashes.

The sun shone on her eyes, and the world glowed red, warming her heart.

She couldn’t say anything, but even if she didn’t say it, he would understand.

The two didn’t speak for a long time, just enjoying the quiet embrace.

The breeze was blowing, and she occasionally squinted her eyes to take a look. Above the ochre-colored eaves of the courtyard, there was a rectangular piece of blue sky, lofty and pure.

Even if time stayed at this moment forever, it would not live up to life.

After leaning for a while, she adjusted her posture and accidentally saw a big bag under the couch. She propped up her upper body: “There are still things to put away.”

“I’ll do it.” Song Yan got up,

“Let’s do it together.” Xu Qin slipped over.

There was a dress in the bag, Xu Qin picked it up, revealing a big wooden box underneath.

Song Yan had just discovered it when he was cleaning up at his uncle’s house. He didn’t care at the time, but now he shook it curiously.

Something was rolling around inside.

“What’s this?”

When Xu Qin saw it, she threw down her dress and wanted to grab the box;

Song Yan quickly took it and hid it behind his back: “What is it?”

“Aiya, it’s just a toy.”

Song Yan glanced at her expression, and made a conclusion: “Lies.” He pinched her waist with one hand, and shook behind his back with the other, the wood inside rattled.

Xu Qin pounced on him, grasping left and right, but her arms were not as long as his: “Give it to me!”

She rubbed against him, and he smiled: “Xu Qin, if you move again, I’m going to have a reaction.” The corners of his lips curled up, “You want to do it in the open air?”

Open air?!

She stared, she had been tormented by him last night, and it still hurt now, so she immediately hit him angrily, and distanced herself from him.

He turned to open the box, she took the opportunity to pounce again, but he dodged quickly.

The box was opened, and there were a bunch of wooden figurines inside, all of whom were Song Yan in his youth, lifelike. What was even better was that each expression, clothes and pose were different, and all of them had appeared before in real life.

Song Yan was stunned for a moment, and then there was a burst of ecstasy on his face, as if he had discovered a secret treasure: “Is this all me?”

Xu Qin blushed, climbed on the soft couch and knelt down: “Ah. Do you like it?”

“Nonsense.” He sat cross-legged on the couch, poured out all the small figures, and looked at them one by one, “Damn, they look so similar.” His expression was as fresh as that of the boy back then, “Fuck, ……this expression……this pose……I had this kind of hairstyle back then?! ……This shirt is still at my uncle’s house! ……”

Each was a memory, bringing with it the lively and vivid times from high school.

He couldn’t put them down, looked for a long time, and finally thought of asking,

“Fuck, why didn’t you give it to me sooner?”

“It wasn’t meant for you.”

“Damn it, who was it meant for if not for me?!”

“To keep for myself.” Xu Qin said, holding a bunch of figures in her lap.

Song Yan paused, remembered something, was quiet for a second, looked up at her: “When were they engraved?”

“Overseas.” Xu Qin lowered her head and didn’t look at him, “Because…..I didn’t know what you looked like anymore. I only remembered how you looked in high school.”

Song Yan stroked the figure’s face, and asked: “Xu Qin?”

“En?”

“How did you spend the past ten years?”

After thinking for two seconds, she came to a conclusion: “Study, work. Then, nothing else.”

He fell silent, looking down at the wooden figures in the box, until he saw one in a basketball jersey with Beckham’s famous mohawk.

He stopped.

He had a mohawk for one year in his life, but that was in the third year of junior high school.

He changed it when he started freshman year of high school.

There was only that self-study session the evening before school started.

He looked up at her: “The day I stopped you on the road, didn’t you say that you didn’t know me?”

She pursed her lips for a moment, and smiled: “I lied.”

Song Yan stared at her with dark eyes for a while, and clicked his tongue twice: “Okay. If it was a lie then it was a lie.”

She grinned and threw herself into his arms.

Without reason, she confessed:

“Song Yan, I’ve only loved you. Only you.”

As she spoke, the winter sun enveloped them.

Above the courtyard, there was a blue sky.

The sun shone on the cherry trees, brewing spring in invisible places.

Several sparrows flew over and landed on the pomegranate tree, and one landed on the grass to peck the mud.

There was a dry and fresh winter scent in the air, as well as a warm and refreshing spring fragrance.

But many years ago, it was a hot and flustered summer.

That night, Xu Qin, who had just been isolated by her roommates in the dormitory, was at a loss as to what to do, and tremblingly went to the classroom with her school bag in her arms. Everyone was old friends from junior high school, they all knew each other and got together to play.

She was the only newcomer who had transferred over, and no one paid attention to her.

In the evening self-study session, the teacher asked people to come to the front to introduce themselves one by one, and answer questions.

The classroom was as lively as a festival.

She was sitting on her seat, clutching her hands tightly, with a dull expression and an unsettled heart: what questions would everyone ask later, and how would she answer them, must remember to speak louder.

Suddenly, the end of class bell rang.

She was extremely nervous: when she went to the front, she had to speak quickly so as not to waste everyone’s time.

She was waiting for the teacher to call her name,

The teacher said: “Everyone has finished introducing themselves, class is over……”

She was stunned for a moment and sat there, wanting to raise her hand but afraid of being laughed at, her heart sank all the way, and she comforted herself, anyway, I didn’t want to introduce myself. But no matter how much she lied, her eyes were still sore from being wronged.

However, a lazy voice came from the back of the classroom: “Old Lu, that kid hasn’t been introduced yet!”

She turned her head, blocked by other figures, she only saw the upper half of his face, black and clean eyes, arrogant erect mohawk hair, the front tufts had fallen down and scattered on his forehead.

The boy’s thin arm was raised high, but his index finger was lazily hanging down, pointing at her.

She walked out under the watchful eyes of the whole class and stood at the front. On the surface, she was indifferent and didn’t care, but in fact she was extremely nervous, scared, and embarrassed.

She said, “My name is Meng Qin.”

Teacher: “Everyone ask questions.”

No one asked her anything.

The classroom was quiet, everyone looked at her, but everyone was expressionless and uninterested.

Her face was burning hotly, she couldn’t leave, but didn’t want to stay.

She stood in a classroom full of classmates, it was like standing in an empty field,

But the boy’s voice came again: “Which Meng which Qin?”

The person who asked the question seemed to want to remember her name clearly. She said: “Zi min Meng, shui xin Qin.”1

“So obedient.” The boy said.

She saw him laughing, his hair was loose, and his eyes had the reflection of the fluorescent lights in the classroom, shining brightly, like a lake with the sun jumping across.

It warmed her like a fire.

Perhaps, at that moment, he was already different to her.

Otherwise, she wouldn’t have not told her parents about him after he blocked her path.

Otherwise, she wouldn’t have been so bad, testing him time and time again, verifying him, provoking him, making him angry, but getting stability and peace from his responses time and time again.

Perhaps, it was not seeking refuge, it was love.

Originally, she was just a very ordinary girl, maybe even a little worse, selfish, weak, cowardly, arrogant, but with extravagant hopes, waiting for someone to walk through thousands of mountains and rivers to love her.

To knock on her city gates and say: May I come in?

She opened the gate for him and said: Then you are not allowed to leave again.

He said: Okay.

Then, they were together forever.

What a simple truth.

But at that time, she didn’t understand, she drove him away, and fled with her own city on her back without saying a word for ten years.

But she found out day by day,

The city in her heart would never be opened again.

Once closed, it would be ten years.

Just waiting for that person from the beginning to make the long and difficult trek, following her once again regardless of the wind and sand.

My city is waiting for you.

If you don’t come, I will always be alone.

Fortunately, after walking through the swirling dense fog and raging dust, you still came.

Let all the dust settle.