Walk Into Your Good Night

02

Objectively speaking, love this sort of thing was one body’s desire and curiosity for another. Love at first sight was feeling this towards a person at first glance.

This was how I felt towards Tang Jingchuan.

After seeing him that day, I didn’t meet him for a few days.

Actually, I knew that it was very easy to look for him. He didn’t own a car, so he could only enter and exit through the door opposite my home. Yet, I didn’t want to do so.

First, I was busy and didn’t have enough time to watch and guard over him; second, I didn’t like this feeling of worrying about others.

Since young, my father had said I was “unique”. I originally thought he meant that I was cruel-hearted. It was not until later that I realised he meant I was excessively selfish and egoistic.

I agreed with him about the latter. For all the past years, I had been a self-serving person. The only thing I was willing to do was to make myself happy.

That was why when I realised I liked someone, I was resistant to the idea. In my opinion, those who lose appetite and selflessly dedicate themselves over love were idiots. I didn’t want to live like an idiot.

For around three days, I didn’t see him again and didn’t miss him. His impression in my mind had even began to blur, not even as clear as his wife’s.

It was raining on the night of the third day.

Autumn had just begun; there was a round of autumn rain and chilly weather. I finally had the opportunity to return back home early after a few days of busy work. I thought I could rest, but when I drove back to the neighbourhood, I saw Tang Jingchuan standing by the side of the the road.

Of course, his wife was with him.

They were standing next to the bus stop 100 meters near the entrance of the villa complex. He was holding an umbrella, arm around his wife.

They seemed to be a very loving couple.

At the time, I didn’t know that Tang Jingchuan’s wife was a patient. When I passed by them, jealousy unexpectedly arose in my heart.

Although reluctant, I was very aware that my heart was moved by Tang Jingchuan. From my perspective, instead of standing there arm around a woman, I should be the one holding the umbrella for him, letting him lean against me.

But thoughts are just thoughts. I wouldn’t do that.

The most disgusting thing in life, in my opinion, was destroying other’s families. As a person, you need to have a bottom line.

I drove past them. Although I had already driven a certain distance away from them, my eyes were still glued to the rearview mirror looking at them.

These two were like two thin leaves in the rain, washed clean yet frigid.

I turned my car around.

Later, I thought that were it not for this decision on that day, I would not have been that close with Tang Jingchuan. If someone asked whether I regretted this, definitely not.

I dared not say that every decision I made were decided with careful thought, but I was very willing to bear responsibility for the consequences of my actions, even if the results were bothersome.

I stopped my car in front of them and rolled down the window.

I said, “Are you waiting for the bus?”

These two people were visibly startled. Tang Jingchuan’s wife stood upright.

Tang Jingchuan nodded politely and said, “Uh, yes.”

That was the first time I heard of his voice. It was like this rainy day, clean and clear, with a gust of coolness to it.

“I’ve seen both of you before.” I was not nosy, nor was I the kind of person who could easily chat with strangers. Yet I stopped in front of them anyway and said, “I live in the house opposite of you.”

Neither of them seemed to know what to say. They seemed to feel awkward and embarrassed.

I said, ”Where are you going? I can drive you. This bus station is just a display. There aren’t any buses that pass by.”

I didn’t lie. There really weren’t any buses that stopped here.

Tang Jingchuan and his wife did not believe my words, but they didn’t directly reject my offer. They politely said, ”Thank you. Then we’ll see if there are any taxis for hire.”

“Where are you going?” I insisted.

They shared a look. Tang Jingchuan looked at me judgementally. He was probably remembering the gaze we shared a few days ago. Then he said, “The Third Hospital of the city.”

“I just happened to pass by.” I opened the car doors. ”Come in. It costs around 100 dollars to hire a taxi.”

Seeing them here, I had some speculations about them. they weren’t rich, nor were they nouveau riche. What kind of nouveau riche would not own a car, but instead wait for a bus in the rain?

They were still hesitant for a while. Impatient, I urged them, “It takes over 1 hour to get there. If you don’t get on now, it’ll be dark soon.”

In the end, due to my “passionate insistence”, they sat in the back seat of my car. Afraid that their umbrella would dirty my car, they put it underneath their feat.

I adjusted the rearview mirror, and glanced at Tang Jingchuan behind me.

He was very good-looking. His appearance was clean, like mixing plain water with Mongolian sweat medicine. [T/N: a semi-fictional chinese anaesthetic made with datura flower]

I repeated their destination: ”The Third Hospital?”

“Yes, thank you.” Tang Jingchuan’s voice drifted into my ears. It seemed to have tiny hands which tickled my heart. “Sorry for inconveniencing you.”

I smiled. “There’s no need to be so polite. After all, we are neighbours.”

His wife thanked me too. This women also had a very nice-sounding voice, very gentle.

While driving, I suddenly thought that they suited each other well. They are like two cups of plain water, having their harmonious lives.