When I Shall Say Goodbye
Chapter 2
Though she kept her aloofness all the time, Anthon always found his time with her during lunchbreak. He talked casually about anything with her, and mostly, about those topics that concerned her until her defenses wore out. He walked such length into her trust until confidential matters about herself became easier already for her to confide. He was a great listener, not opinionated. Not only that, he also had a shoulder for her to cry on and an attribute to which she can trust her vulnerable feelings with .
She maybe reluctant to admit, but her routine chat with him made her look forward to it everyday. As her growing confidence reached its peak, it also slowly defined a special admiration deep within her heart. She saw the sparks in his eyes, and she knew it was something special. And those sparks matched the leaps in her heart everytime she caught his eyes on her. One thing she was sure, their feelings were mutual but neither of them dared to admit even after their graduation day.
"How's my beautiful friend?" He said his usual line everytime he approached her. He was towering in his height though his muscles had not perfected yet for a young man's ideal body mass. Yet, in her eyes, he was stunning.
"I have something to confess. Thanks for being my confidante that I, now, have someone to share my life with. "
Share his life with? Was he going to say instead that he loved her? Her heart suddenly fluttered that she could not bring herself to look into his eyes.
"What is it? " She answered slowly while staring into her hands. Anthon pulled her hand that she was forced to look into his eyes. It was warm that she was thrilled. It sent a strong sensation to her core that made her plunge with excitement.
"Please, be happy for me. I am in a relationship with Ayanna. "
"You love her? "
"I don't know. I'm in love with someone else. "
Her world crumbled down. Somehow, she couldn't bring herself to say a word. She had no right. She did not own him. She may be the most brilliant young lady in the whole campus, but she did not have the beauty of the campus belle, who was Ayanna. That was what mattered most. Men always prefer beauty over intelligence. She may seemed confused with his confession that he loved someone else but in a relationship with another, yet she did not ask him anymore. What would she get from asking? Would it be a way to win him back? Of course, not. She'd rather keep her silence and keep the pain to herself. She could not bear to be humiliated by her assumption. She could never face the shame. The things he did not know would not hurt him.
However, she was able to pretend.
"I'm happy for you, Ton. You have my support."
"You will not ask me anything? "
"It's enough. I understand."
He stared into her eyes with confusion and pain.
After that day, she decided to go home during lunchtime and always came late in coming back. After their dismissal in the afternoon, she would also hurry up to go ahead of everyone. At times, she chose to hide until she was sure that he had already left.
Days passed by swiftly. And in each new day, she noticed that he did not care for her anymore. There may be times they were brought close to each other through some class activities, but he seemed to have forgotten already that once, they became special friends.
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