Ch26 - He was actually very afraid of pain.

Bai Tang enthusiastically mixed the egg mixture. Pastries were something he hadn’t been able to eat in a long time, but today he was going to.

Yesterday, after his meeting with Lin Baizhou, Jiang Yunshu had gone grocery shopping. He bought almost everything that was lacking at home. When he walked by the section with the prepared meals, he had a hazy recollection that there was an oven somewhere in the kitchen. Thinking that Bai Tang might be able to make some desserts when he had free time, he searched the Internet for the ingredients needed to make mousse cupcakes and threw them all into the shopping cart.

At 8:49 in the evening, Bai Tang was taking the groceries out one by one. He was taken aback when he spotted a stack of cupcake liners and said, “Sir, do you want to eat cupcakes?”

Jiang Yunsu had a keen sense of taste. He liked salty foods and sweet treats. Once, around 2 in the morning, when he woke up and craved something sweet, he kicked Bai Tang, who was sleeping on the ground, awake.

Bai Tang was ordered to make sweets, and after riding the wave, he was allowed to eat a tiny piece too.

“Hm?” Jiang Yunshu also took a step back while he organized the condiments in the cupboard by category. “I suppose.”

Bai Tang sniffled as he cleaned all the cupboards in the home the following day. Perhaps he just had a weak constitution. Although the fever quickly subsided , he had not fully recovered from his cold. He had been blowing his nose intermittently for more than a week, and the skin around his nose was all peeled and red.

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Heitang parkoured at home as it barked, flying back and forth from one end to the other, sometimes mischievously nipping its owner’s ankle as it went by.

Bai Tang beamed as he stroked Heitang’s floppy, soft ears. He rolled up his sleeves and began energetically preparing the ingredients for the cupcake after snapping many photos of Heitang and forwarding them to Zhou Zhaoyu. Dressed in a light blue apron, he proceeded to cook according to the recipe.

To begin, separate the egg white and yolk. Then, equally combine the milk, corn oil, and egg yolk. Sift the cake flour into the mixture and stir to combine. Whisk in the sugar until the egg white is frothy. Add a tiny amount of meringue to the egg yolk paste one at a time, mixing thoroughly until it’s uniform. Finally, after being well combined, pour the mixture into a cupcake liner, place in the oven, and bake for 20 minutes at 175 degrees.

Done! Bai Tang bent down, picked up a bit of dog hair off the kitchen table, and lovingly stroked Heitang’s head.

The wonderful scent of the cake gradually permeated the whole room. Bai Tang crept up close, unmoving, watching the cake in the oven transform. After 20 minutes, there was a loud ding. Bai Tang made a clapping motion with his hands. He put on a glove on his right hand and opened the oven, releasing a jet of hot air.

There was an audible click.

Bai Tang, who was completely engrossed in flipping over the cupcake, was taken aback. His right hand trembled suddenly while holding the baking tray, his wrist buckled, and the whole baking tray tipped—

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Clang! Twelve cupcakes dropped to the ground one by one. Bai Tang couldn’t avoid it, and his left hand’s naked fingers came into direct contact with the 175-degree baking surface.

“Hnn!” Bai Tang groaned and withdrew his fingers as a reaction. After craning his neck, he saw that the noise wasn’t caused by Jiang Yunsu unlocking the door, but rather by Heitang chewing on the zipper of his jacket.

Heitang was completely oblivious to the mistake he’d made. It nudged the aromatic cake with its dog nose, gulped it down, then “awooed”  when it burned so much that it stuck out its tongue.

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He knelt, picked up the dusty cupcakes off the ground, and tossed them into the garbage bin. The kitchen was deafeningly quiet. He gazed at the garbage can full of cupcakes, then squatted down weakly and gripped his knees, as if he had lost his strength.

His phone was making many dinging noises. It should have been Zhou Zhaoyu responding, but he wasn’t in the mood to read it.

The care he was given when he had been sick did not give Bai Tang any sense of security. After all, before getting married, Jiang Yunsu also took care of him, who had lost a close relative, like this. At that time, he naively thought that the two of them were a tested love and a perfect couple.

As it turned out, he was terribly wrong.

He’d been at their new house for two weeks, but he still experienced nightmares every night. From fragmented pieces of torment in his former home to the chunks of abuse with their new home as the backdrop.

Bai Tang’s grip on his knees became considerably tighter. In the beginning, he believed that following Jiang Yunsu’s memory loss, his life would get simpler, but that was not the case. His psychological distress grew bit by little each day. He instead developed a heightened state of fear and anxiety. Even the smallest abrupt noise would cause him to flinch.

He constantly wondered when Jiang Yunsu would regain his memory. When would he return to that dark situation, and when would be the most appropriate time for him to send Heitang away.

He formed the habit of asking himself these three questions every breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Sometimes, there were moments where he wished that rather than anxiously waiting for the alpha to one day return to his former state, he would rather just go back to the way things were; at least then, he could plant his feet on the ground, and have a peace of mind.

Or an even more extreme thought: just let everything go, enjoy this probation period, and wait until the day the alpha regains his memory. When that day arrives, he would settle Heitang, and then choose to die.

He planned to hang himself at the front door of his residence. He’d heard that those who died by hanging didn’t make for pretty images. It’d be enough to frighten Jiang Yunsu, who’d just walked in, coming face to face with him; or he’d lay in the living room and slash his wrists. He’d bleed profusely, his blood staining the carpet scarlet and crawling to the gap of the door, staining Jiang Yunsu’s leather shoes.

His eyes wouldn’t be closed yet, but instead would be staring straight in the direction of the door. Because simply lying there might not leave a shadow on Jiang Yunsu.

He also searched whether cutting the neck with a knife would bleed much more than just stabbing the blood arteries where the blood flowed more.

However, when this idea flashed frequently, Bai Tang’s tears would start to fall uncontrollably. But how dare he, how dare he die, what right did he have?

And, and… he was actually very afraid of pain.

When he squatted until his legs were numb, Heitang ran over and barked worriedly. Bai Tang took a few deep breaths, raised his red eyes, scratched Heitang’s chin, and showed a faint smile. “I’m sorry, Heitang, I made you worry. Isn’t the cupcake delicious? Let’s start over.”

▪︎•°°•▪︎

A pleasant aroma greeted Jiang Yunshu as he reached the garden’s iron gate. The scent, he thought, had travelled to the next door, where there were for sure a lot of people wallowing in their own greed.

When he opened the door, Bai Tang stood nearby obediently, his gaze trained at his feet. “Sir…you’re back.”

“Mhm.” Jiang Yunshu changed his shoes and praised, “It smells so good.”

“Sir,” Bai Tang curled his toes and said in a low voice, “The cupcakes are ready. It’s just out of the oven, and it’s still hot…”

“You’ve worked hard,” said Jiang Yunshu. “I’ll eat after I wash my hands.”

▪︎•°°•▪︎

“What do you think, sir?” Bai Tang asked nervously, afraid that it would not suit the alpha’s taste. But he knew this worry was obviously for nothing.

After all, obviously with all the measurements he used, like how many grams of sugar, how many boxes of milk, and how many eggs were used, they were all completely in line with Jiang Yunsu’s requirements.

It was just that, it really didn’t suit Jiang Yunshu’s taste. It was TOOOOOOO sweet, it was like he was directly eating candy.

Unhealthy. It was very unhealthy. 

Jiang Yunshu swallowed it with some difficulty. He actually liked to eat these desserts, but the premise was that it wasn’t made too sweet. He honestly said, “It’s too sweet. I liked to eat desserts this sweet before?”

When Bai Tang heard him say that it was too sweet, he suddenly felt so agitated. He nodded nervously. “T-Then, sir, how many grams of sugar do you want to put? I’ll change it.”

“Eat first.” Something suddenly occurred to Jiang Yunshu. He said, “Can’t you even eat cake?”

Bai Tang quickly shook his head, held it in both hands and took a small bite. “I can eat a little…”

Jiang Yunshu relaxed while leaning on the cooking table, observing Bai Tang’s expression. “Do you think it’s too sweet? Tell the truth, or I’ll be angry.”

Bai Tang looked a little hesitant and uneasy. He hesitated for a moment, then sounded out, “…It’s a little sweeter?”

“How many grams of sugar did you put in these?”

“150 grams.”

Jiang Yunshu’s teeth ached a little. There was 150g of sugar in these 12 cupcakes?  It’s almost enough to put on about 70 grams of weight.

Jiang Yunshu, “Let’s put 30 grams less.”

“O-Okay!” Bai Tang responded. He quickly grabbed the recipe on the side, crossed out 150 grams, and wrote 120 grams.

Translator’s Feed:

Thank you so much to my editors and proofreaders. You guys really helped me release faster . If it was just me, I’d probably take longer editing. 

Just a heads up, you guys. I’m going to make a pdf of ABOSOCIETY which will be available on kofi once the translation’s completed. I’ve decided to do it myself instead of getting upset over people doing it before me without my permission :’), and to give myself peace of mind. I’ll make one for Before My Withering and AFD as well. Is that okay with you guys?