After everything happened, Ting Shuang was like a dried fish(1) that had been left out too long, or like a sponge bra left on the balcony in the rainy season, unable to dry.

His phone lay on the ground, vibrating for a bit while a notification popped up on the screen.

“Ge(2) please take a few days of leave and come over. If the same thing happened to one of my friends here, they would all go on holiday, to enjoy a diversion.”

Ting Shuang, having drunk too much, was sleeping, and did not hear the phone vibrate.

When he woke up the next afternoon and picked his phone up from the ground, there were already countless notifications on the screen, the latest one being a message from his classmate Song Xin: “Ting Shuang are you dead? Today’s the first day of school, Monday, the first lesson of Robotik. You dare to skip even this? Hurry, send an email to the professor to explain the situation, maybe the situation can still be salvaged.”

Ting Shuang clutched his throbbing head, moving to call Song Xin.

“Hello…” Ting Shuang felt as if his throat was on fire, “I had some private matters, so I didn’t go in the morning.”

Song Xin said, “Quickly call the doctor, get a medical certificate to present to the professor.”

Ting Shuang said, “Okay. Were any important things discussed during the lesson? Send me the password for the courseware, I’ll download it later.”

“There’s no courseware.” Song Xin explained the situation all in one breath, almost like a complaint, “This professor’s super perverted. Firstly, he doesn’t upload the courseware. You have to listen in class to know what he talked about. Secondly, he expects a 100% show-up rate, but even if you attend all his lessons there isn’t any result to show for it, you just earn the rights to take the final examination – the final examination’s grades are this course’s final grades. Thirdly, the final examination is an oral examination. Examinees go in one by one to be tested by him. I’ll send you pictures of my notes today, but I feel like I didn’t take down everything.”

Ting Shuang pressed on his temples, “Why are germans so annoying.”

Song Xin was quiet for a few seconds. “No, this Prof. Bai is a Chinese professor. Okay admittedly I don’t really know his nationality, but judging by the face and the name, he’s Chinese.”

Ting Shuang said, “…Okay.”

He did not have the ability to care about this professor’s background. Hanging up, he first contacted the family doctor to issue a medical certificate before taking a shower to wash off the smell of beer. Then he poured a cup of coffee for himself to completely sober up.

The coffee machine needed twelve seconds to start up and preheat.

Twelve seconds were enough for him to recall who bought the coffee machine in his house.

“Ting Shuang can you stop chugging coffee, the moment you can’t fall asleep you come to torment(3) me. I still have an experiment to do tomorrow morning.” Liang Zhengxuan held back Ting Shuang, who had pounced on him.

“Heh, weren’t you the one who bought the coffee machine?” Ting Shuang reached a hand into Liang Zhengxuan’s pants, giving it a hard squeeze.

“Fuck.” Liang Zhengxuan cursed, a word with two meanings. “Do you or do you not know how to write ‘abstinence’?”

Ting Shuang felt for the condom in the nightstand, tossing it onto Liang Zhengxuan’s face. “Are you fucking me or not?”

Liang Zhengxuan surrendered. “Yes yes yes.”

The coffee was done.

Ting Shuang brought his coffee to the study table, opened his laptop and went onto the school website to find the professor’s email address, sending him an email.

After settling that, he then went to reply to messages from other people.

“It’s nothing.”

“Everything’s okay for now.”

“Don’t worry.”

“I’m fine.”

After replying to a bunch of similar texts, he saw Liang Zhengxuan’s message, “Forgive me this once, let’s not break up, okay?”

Ting Shuang subconsciously reached for the ashtray on the top-left corner of the study table and pulled it over before reaching for the lighter and cigarette box. “Rauchen sch?digt Ihre Lunge“ was printed on the green and white cigarette box, and below the words was a picture. On the left was a healthy lung, and on the right was a rotten one. A glaring warning.

To hell with the warning.

Ting Shuang pulled a cigarette stick out from the box, lighting it and sucking in a deep breath.

If Liang Zhengxuan was at his side at that moment, he would have pulled that cigarette stick out from his hands, saying “Ting Shuang your lungs belong to me too. I’m begging you, don’t ruin them as you please.”

Aside from the lungs, Malboro also printed other warnings, such as how smoking affects your reproductive organs’ health. If Ting Shuang happened to buy cigarettes with those warnings, Liang Zhengxuan would then threaten, “If you become impotent I’m going to find someone else.”

Ting Shuang vigorously finished smoking the cigarette, thinking, I didn’t fucking become impotent, but didn’t you still find someone else?

He extinguished the cigarette butt, picked up his phone and typed a few words into the input box, then deleted them again. Finally, he replied with one sentence, “You cheated not just once, but for a year.”

Even after sending that text, Ting Shuang didn’t feel like it was reality. They had been together for so many years, from high school to university. They had come out to their family members and went overseas for their postgraduates together too, so whenever Ting Shuang and Liang Zhengxuan were brought up, their friends would praise them as the ideal couple. Now the breakup was so ugly, it could cause everyone’s glasses to fall and break.

His phone vibrated again. Ting Shuang thought it was Liang Zhengxuan’s reply, but it turned out to be Zhu Wenjia’s request for a video call.

Ting Shuang picked it up, “Wenjia.”

Zhu Wenjia looked at Ting Shuang’s bloodshot eyes, “Ge, did you drink? Or cry?”

Ting Shuang said, “Not at the crying stage yet. I didn’t sleep well.”

Zhu Wenjia said, “Have you taken a few days of leave? Come over to play.”

“What, inviting me over to the red light district? I don’t have that kind of hobby.”

“You’ve already been cheated on, who are you guarding your body for? Hurry up and come over, I’ll call a few people over to keep you company. They’re all better looking than Liang Zhengxuan.”

“Cut it out, you.” Ting Shuang glanced at his email to see that there hasn’t been a reply. “Even if there’s ten Liang Zhengxuans there, I don’t have the time to go. I have a killer course this semester.”

“Then I’ll go over to visit you.”

“Since when were you so close with me?”

“Ge, just let me go over. My mum keeps nagging me to go see you. She already urged me three or four times.” Zhu Wenjia was slightly irritated, “You know how my mum is, she’s especially scared that after your breakup with Liang Zhengxuan, you’d one day be willing to find a woman to marry and have kids with, and my dad would give the company to you.”

“Zhu Wenjia how are you so silly?” Ting Shuang laughed lightly, “Telling me these kinds of things.”

“I’m just stating the truth.” Zhu Wenjia’s face displayed his indifference. “Who would be willing to take over the family business? I couldn’t wish more that you’d earn the money while I spent it. If you were to handle the company, would you be willing to let me starve to death? But if I were to handle it, I’d only let our entire family starve to death… Well, my friend helped me book the air ticket already, I’ll stop talking to you.”

At 9pm, when the doorbell rang, Ting Shuang habitually picked up the receiver, answering, “Ja.”

Zhu Wenjia spoke into the microphone at the front door, “Stop ya-ing, it’s me.”

Ting Shuang said, “You really came.”

“Quickly open the door.”

Ting Shuang pressed the button to open the door.

Zhu Wenjia basically did not bring any luggage, only carrying a computer bag with several pairs of underwear stuffed inside it. After entering he took a shower, found a clean T-shirt of Ting Shuang’s to wear, and then casually fished out an already open bottle of whiskey from the fridge. Then he dug out two glasses from the cupboard, added ice to them, and filled them with alcohol. He first treated himself to a sip, immediately expressing his dislike. “Ge what kind of crappy beer did you buy? If I knew earlier I would have brought some for you.”

Ting Shuang said, “If it’s crappy then don’t drink it.”

Zhu Wenjia pouted. “Yes, you are different from me, you’re goddamn amazing. Ever since coming out as an undergraduate you’ve never used a single cent of the family’s. Now great, it was dumb right? My opinion, you shouldn’t have come out in the first place. For the one whose surname is Liang, was it worth it?” After saying his piece, he picked up the two glasses and sat on the windowsill. “Come on, let’s talk?”

The house that Ting Shuang had rented was located in a residential area in the suburbs. There was a garden outside the window, and the landlady had taken care of the garden extremely well. In April the plants were already lush and growing luxuriantly. At night, if you sat by the window, you could see the stars and hear the insects buzzing.

Zhu Wenjia couldn’t admire this kind of place, complaining about mosquitoes non-stop.

Ting Shuang closed the window and sat across Zhu Wenjia, also taking a sip of beer, “Talk about what?”

Zhu Wenjia said, “Why are you playing dumb with me? What else can we do other than drinking, crying, scolding someone surnamed Liang, and getting wasted?”

“It can’t be that unpleasant to the eye.”

“Try drinking two more mouthfuls.”

Ting Shuang drank the entire glass of beer, sat dazedly for a while, before suddenly saying, “Liang Zhengxuan’s a bastard.”

Zhu Wenjia knew that a long time ago, raising his glass and clinking it against Ting Shuang’s empty one, echoing him as if he was giving a toast. “That’s right. He is a bastard.”

Ting Shuang drank another few glasses, pulling on his collar and peering into his shirt through the neckhole. “Is it because I grew fat? Or is it because I have personality problems? In the past Liang Zhengxuan said that I have a bad temper.”

Zhu Wenjia said, “Ge, I’ll state it as it is, your personality has always been bad, it’s not a recent thing. So what happened with Liang Zhengxuan had nothing to do with your personality. Your personality’s just like this, don’t waste energy trying to change it.”

Ting Shuang said, “Then it’s because I grew fat.”

“Come on, give me your phone.”

“What do you want to do.”

“You’ve used that crappy phone for two years, I don’t want to keep it. Just give it to me.”

""

Ting Shuang passed his phone to Zhu Wenjia.

Zhu Wenjia took the phone and took a picture of Ting Shuang who was drinking beer by the window. The lights beside the window weren’t turned on, and Ting Shuang, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, sat on a wooden high chair, held a glass with whiskey at bottom of it. In the dim light of the night, his face couldn’t be seen clearly.

After taking the photo, Zhu Wenjia downloaded a social networking app geared towards homosexuals, called Distance. Then he set the photo he had just taken as the profile picture, and created an account.

Name: Frost(4)

Type: 0.5(5)

Age: 24

Height: 182cm

Weight: 70kg

Occupation: Student

Relationship status: Single

“Just wait,” Zhu Wenjia waved the phone, “Let’s see how many people’s texts you’ll get.”

Ting Shuang still had not understood the situation. “What?”

The phone vibrated, and Zhu Wenjia glanced down. “Hey, that’s quite fast. There’s a 0 151 kilometres away that said he ‘love’s’ you, and texted you asking which city you’re in. Do you want to reply?”

Ting Shuang went over to look at the screen. “You’re setting me up?”

Zhu Wenjia said, “I am proving that you have your charm. Don’t think that it’s your fault your bastard boyfriend cheated. Crap like finding the reason within yourself are just quotes that people unwilling to take responsibility for another person invented… Look, you received another three ‘like’s, and one of them is a short distance away from you, only 18 kilometres.”

Ting Shuang said, “These people can like someone else so easily? Just based on a picture in which the face can’t even be seen clearly?”

“The ‘like’ in these apps only refers to being interested in chatting. Do you think they really like you? For example, take a look,” Zhu Wenjia pressed a few buttons on the screen. “This is the Speed Dating interface. You can see each other’s profile picture, attribute, and more, then choose between ‘indifferent’, ‘like’ and ‘love’(6).”

Ting Shuang looked at the picture shown on the Speed Dating interface. “Indifferent.”

Zhu Wenjia pressed the screen, and the next person’s picture and details immediately popped up.

Ting Shuang said, “Indifferent.”

Zhu Wenjia did the same thing, and up came the next one.

Ting Shuang said, “Indifferent.”

The next one.

“Indifferent.”

And the next.

“Indifferent.”

Zhu Wenjia helped Ting Shuang press more than ten times of the ‘indifferent’ button before giving up. “This isn’t how you play the game. You’re not a broken record. And my finger’s not a sewing machine, ‘da-da-da’, pressing the same place over and over again.”

Ting Shuang said, “I really feel indifferent.”

Zhu Wenjia swiped to another picture, realised he looked a bit similar to Liang Zhengxuan, and asked, “You feel indifferent to this one too?”

Ting Shuang spent half a day looking at that photo, then glanced at his details. “This one’s only 7 kilometres away, probably in the same city. How awkward would it be if we saw each other on the streets?”

Zhu Wenjia said, “You don’t like those that stay close? You can set the distance range on this app. I think… What about a distance between 150 to 300 kilometres? They would be in Germany, but not in the same state, so if you hit it off, it wouldn’t be difficult to meet. And if you didn’t hit it off, then there’s also no possibility of accidentally bumping into each other. Is that okay?”

Ting Shuang gave an “mm” before realising that something was not quite right. “Hey, why are you finding a match for me already? It’s too quick, I don’t plan on—“

“Who’s finding a partner for you? I’m just helping you rebuild your confidence, and forget the one surnamed Liang along the way.” Zhu Wenjia raised the phone’s screen in front of Ting Shuang. “Come on, choose your male lover.”

Ting Shuang continued pressing a few ‘indifferent’s, then didn’t feel like it anymore. “This is meaningless.”

Zhu Wenjia said, “Look at another twenty more, then choose one person out from the next twenty.”

Ting Shuang said, “Can you stop torturing me?”

Zhu Wenjia said, “Nope. Hurry and choose. If not I’ll immediately call someone to your house.”

Zhu Wenjia, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and was especially annoying, could really do anything he wanted. Ting Shuang could only continue looking at the interface, tapping ‘indifferent’ for every picture that appeared. Harbouring bad intentions, Zhu Wenjia reminded him, “It’s almost the twentieth one.”

Ting Shuang’s finger, the one that kept pressing ‘indifferent’, stopped, and at that moment the screen displayed a picture.

Black western-style suit, white shirt collar. His right hand rested on the steering wheel while his watch-wearing left hand pulled on his tie, the grey tie almost loosening, but not quite yet. The picture was probably taken by the person in the passenger seat, and it didn’t show the entirety of his side-profile, only a portion of his jaw could be seen. Then, there was his neck, Adam’s apple, suit-covered shoulders, chest and arms.

You couldn’t exactly see how he looked, but the air around him was just that little bit attractive.

The hand that was pulling on his tie was also long and slender.

Ting Shuang looked at this person’s details.

Name: C****

Type: 1

Age: 36

Height: 187cm

Weight: 75kg

""

Relationship status: Single

Current distance apart: 287km

Other than the partly disclosed name, his other details were private and protected, and weren’t displayed.

Zhu Wenjia smirked. “This is your type? His figure probably isn’t bad…” He looked at the age displayed and said, “Is he a bit too old?”

Ting Shuang said, “It’s best if they’re so old they don’t have the ability to cheat.”

“Then we’ll go with him.” Zhu Wenjia, worried Ting Shuang would go back on his word, immediately helped him press ‘love’.

“Hey.” Ting Shuang was speechless. “You could have pressed ‘like’, why did you have to press ‘love’?”

Zhu Wenjia said, “You saw at least a hundred people, and only looked twice at this person. Isn’t this the cream of the crop?(7) Shouldn’t he have more than just a like?”

Ting Shuang said, “Psh, cream of the crop, you still know how to use idioms.”

“Stop making me sound worse than I am, at least I studied two years of high school in China.”

“Fine. I’ll go brush my teeth and get ready to sleep. Don’t mess around with my phone.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll use your phone to send my mum some pictures, so that she knows I’ve come to visit you. It’ll save me from her continuous nagging.”

Ting Shuang nodded and entered the bathroom. He had only brushed his teeth for a while – his mouth was still full of bubbles – when he heard Zhu Wenjia’s yell from the outside. “Ge, the system helped you find a perfect match—“

Ting Shuang could not hear him properly, and had to turn off the electric toothbrush that kept buzzing, saying, “What?”

Zhu Wenjia happily waved Ting Shuang’s phone at him, saying with exaggerated mouth movements, “Perfect Match, You matched perfectly with Mr. C who’s 287 kilometres away. He also ‘love’s you.”

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