Your Distance

When the kiss ended, Ting Shuang immediately let go of his hand.

Holding hands was quite an embarrassing act.

Having sex wasn’t too different from eating. It was necessary, they were adults, and there was nothing embarrassing about having to fulfil physiological needs. But holding hands wasn’t an essential act, and it was as embarrassing as talking about one’s life. Humans, they’re ashamed of exposing their bodies during adolescence, and after maturing they’re ashamed of exposing their hearts.

They had already exposed their bodies to each other several times, but Ting Shuang didn’t quite feel like it was time to move on to the next stage of exposing their hearts.

No wonder Bai Changyi said to take their time.

Advice from the elderly should really be taken. Mm.

After Ting Shuang let go of his hand, Bai Changyi also didn’t reach for Ting Shuang’s hand. With half a step between them, the two of them continued to walk side by side to the gas station.

After walking for a while, Ting Shuang asked, “Where did I stop just now?”

Bai Changyi said, “You stopped at how my teacher ethics were worrying.”

Ting Shuang said, “Cough, how did I get there… Oh, it was because you asked me why I was studying this major… Actually, to help my family. I have a half-brother who shares the same father as me, but neither of us want to take up the chore of continuing the family business. But my brother, he’s too… well, he’s even more hopeless of a student than me. When it was time to pick an undergraduate programme for the first time, I really didn’t know what I liked to do, and I felt like in the end, there are very little people who can actually do what they like to do. So I thought, wouldn’t it be better to do what I should do first… I was just, quite realistic.”

Bai Changyi said, “Then do you know what you like to do now?”

Ting Shuang said in a flippant tone, “Mm… I just, like… attending your lessons.”

I just, like you.

Bai Changyi said, “Didn’t you just say that you’re always scared in class?”

Ting Shuang said, “… That, uh, I like that too.”

If I can see you, I’m fine being scared.

Bai Changyi said, “You can’t always be afraid, you have to find a way around it.”

After thinking for a while, Ting Shuang tentatively said, “Why not… we strike a deal? In the future, when you’re teaching… Don’t pick me to answer questions, then I certainly won’t be afraid anymore… What do you think?”

Bai Changyi said, “Or I’ll pick you to answer questions every lesson until you get used to it.”

Ting Shuang: ? ? ?

Bai Changyi glanced at Ting Shuang, lips curving up, “What do you think?”

Ting Shuang said, “What I think? I don’t think anything, nothing at all!”

Bai Changyi nodded, “Mm, then that’s what we’ll do.”

Ting Shuang: ?

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That’s what we’ll do? ? ?

F I N E.

When they arrived at the 24-hour shop at the gas station, Ting Shuang brought a toothbrush to the check-out counter, and wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes along the way – Marlboro, mint-flavoured.

The cashier asked Ting Shuang for his ID.

Ting Shuang felt for his pants pocket when he remembered that he hadn’t brought his ID with him. He said to Bai Changyi, “Bai Laoban, did you bring your ID?”

Bai Changyi took out his driver’s license and bought the pack of cigarettes.

Ting Shuang stretched his head out to see Bai Changyi’s ID photo, because he definitely would not be wearing glasses in his ID photo.

Bai Changyi said, “What are you looking at.”

Ting Shuang said, “Your photo. You’re not letting me see it?”

Bai Changyi handed his driver’s license to Ting Shuang, “In the future, if you have anything you want to see, just tell me.”

Ting Shuang took a look at it. In the photo on the driver’s license, not only was he not wearing glasses, but also looked so youthful it was scary. Then he looked at the date it was issued–

November 8, 1999.

Year 1999…

In 1999, Ting Shuang was still in kindergarten…

Then he looked at Bai Changyi’s birth date, 27 July 1983.

He quietly committed Bai Laoban’s birthday to memory.

7.27

“Here.” The two of them were walking back when Ting Shuang returned the driver’s license to Bai Changyi. “Bai Laoban, you must have had many people chasing after you when you were younger, right?”

Bai Changyi said, “No.”

Ting Shuang didn’t believe him, “How is that possible?”

Bai Changyi said, “I was always in a stable relationship.”

Ting Shuang said, “Always? Since when?”

Bai Changyi thought for a moment, “Should be when I was fourteen.”

Ting Shuang said, “So young?! And you haven’t been single since?”

Bai Changyi said, “Not really.”

Old driver.(1)

Ordinary people really couldn’t compare.

Ting Shuang said, “Hmph, hmph.”

Bai Changyi said, “What.”

Ting Shuang summarised,  “The predecessors planted the trees, and the descendants enjoyed the shade. My luck’s pretty good.”

The corners of Bai Changyi’s lips tipped up.

After the two of them returned home, Ting Shuang got Bai Changyi to do it with him once more after his shower, cursing the old beast until four in the morning.

Afterwards, the two men stood topless on the open-air balcony on the second floor for a smoke, coats slung over their shoulders.

Ting Shuang sucked in two breaths of the cigarette, and realised that he had nowhere to tap off the ash at the end of the cigarette, “Bai Laoban, you don’t have an ashtray here.”

Bai Changyi didn’t speak, only led by example, tapping the ash off in the soil of the only potted plant on the balcony – a cactus.

Ting Shuang copied his actions, tapping the ash off in the flower pot.

The balcony lights weren’t on, and their surroundings were dimly lit up by the lights from the bedroom behind them. In the night breeze, two cigarette butts glowed in the darkness.

“Oh, right.” Ting Shuang suddenly remembered something, and put the cigarette butt on the side of the flower pot. “Wait a moment.” Then he went downstairs.

By the time he returned, the cigarette had already been extinguished. He picked up the cigarette and moved closer to Bai Changyi, bringing their lips close together and using the flame to light his cigarette up. He held the cigarette between his lips, freeing up his two hands. Then he took out forty euros from the wallet he had gone downstairs to take and held it out to Bai Changyi.

Bai Changyi glanced at the forty euros, not taking it,  “What are you doing.”

The great Professor Bai couldn’t help thinking that it looked like a prostitution fee.

Forty euros.

They had done it three times in total, adding up to at least six hours of his time.

Counting it like that, Bai Laoban’s hourly salary: 6.67 euros.

In 2019, Germany’s legal minimum hourly wage: 9.19 euros.

This was definitely the lowest paying job Bai Laoban had ever done, so low that it wasn’t even legal.

Ting Shuang didn’t think of it from that angle. He held the money out towards Bai Changyi again and said, “Didn’t you pay for everything we bought at the supermarket and convenience store today? Let’s split the bill.”

Bai Changyi extinguished his cigarette and said, “Ting, we can split the bill, but do you have to give it to me at this time.”

Ting Shuang seemed to feel like something was amiss, so he explained, “I’m afraid I’ll forget it after I wake up tomorrow…” While he talked, he suddenly thought of an idea that he thought was excellent. “Hey, why don’t we do this; I’m afraid I’ll easily forget about this, so why not I buy a piggy bank to place at the head of your bed? Every time I see that piggy bank, I’ll remember to pass you the money. “

Bai Changyi said, “You want to place a piggy bank at the head of my bed.”

Ting Shuang nodded, “Yes.”

Bai Changyi said, “Every time you spend the night here, you’ll put money in it.”

Ting Shuang continued nodding, “Yes, that’s what I mean. Oh, it doesn’t actually have to be a piggy bank, any container in which money can fit would do…” As he spoke, he walked downstairs again, and found a glass cylinder with a narrow opening in the kitchen cabinet. He placed it at the head of Bai Changyi’s bed, put forty euros in, and then happily said to Bai Changyi, “Isn’t this great?”

Bai Changyi took off his glasses and wiped them with the spectacle cloth, “… It’s great.”