Your Distance

If it was my son…

In his heart, Bai Laoban thought, he really couldn’t be my son.

“It truly isn’t easy being a father,” Bai Changyi said with a smile, “I have a friend who had a similar experience. It was a period full of twists and turns. I understand.”

“Oh?” Zhu Ao asked, “Then did he solve the problem in the end? It couldn’t have been easy, right.”

Bai Changyi said, “Mm, it wasn’t easy. It took around half a year to solve it.”

Zhu Ao said, “Half a year? That’s pretty fast. How was it solved? I would like to learn from that old brother’s experience.”

As the two of them walked, they happened to pass by a side exit of the exhibition hall. Bai Changyi glanced at his watch, “There’s still time, why don’t we go out for a chat?”

They could run into company employees and collaborators in the exhibition hall at any time, so it was indeed not a good place to talk about this topic. Zhu Ao nodded and followed Bai Changyi out of the hall. Not far away, there was a smoking area set up by the Convention and Exhibition Center. Zhu Ao said, “Shall we brothers smoke one together?”

We brothers.

Bai Laoban had some mixed feelings about that.

The two of them sat on the sofa in the smoking area, a coffee table between them.

In his left hand, Bai Changyi held a lit cigarette between his fingers, but he didn’t smoke much. He only tapped off the ash into the ashtray in the center of the coffee table from time to time.

“My friend and I were friends despite our large age difference. When he encountered this problem, his son was already in his thirties,” Bai Changyi said.

Zhu Ao took a drag on a cigarette and said, “His son is in his 30s and hasn’t gotten married yet?”

“He did get married,” Bai Changyi smiled, “Then one day, his son suddenly called him and said, Dad, I’m gay. We just got divorced, and I’m now sitting in the car, not knowing where I should go, and I feel like there’s nowhere for me to go.” After saying all that, Bai Changyi stopped to tap off the cigarette ash, glancing at Zhu Ao at the same time.

Zhu Ao seemed to think of something, and narrowed his eyes slightly amongst the lingering smoke. After a while, he said, “Did his ex-wife initiate the divorce after learning about it?”

Bai Changyi said, “Yes.”

Zhu Ao smiled, the fine lines in the corners of his eyes deepening, “Men, when they’re young and immature, they always make mistakes. Some women… they can’t stand having sand in their eyes, so they just leave when they feel like it. What about your friend? Didn’t he persuade his daughter-in-law, and ask the young couple to reconsider it?”

Bai Changyi said, “The divorce was already settled. My friend received a strong blow, and for a while, he couldn’t accept that his son liked men.”

Zhu Ao said, “See, it’s not just me. No father would be able to accept it… How did it get solved in the end?”

Bai Changyi said, “My friend believes in science, so he went to find a psychiatrist to solve the problem.”

Zhu Ao listened and drew on his cigarette thoughtfully, “He found a psychiatrist… Was it necessary… And, was it useful?”

Bai Changyi said, “The result wasn’t bad. Although it took half a year, it did solve the problem in the end.”

Zhu Ao nodded and said, “Why didn’t I think of finding a doctor for this matter before? It makes sense, I am also someone who believes in science, and you should see a doctor for this kind of problem. Hey, Professor Bai, is the doctor your friend found Chinese or German? If it is convenient, how about introducing them to me? Your friend’s son spent half a year treating his homosexuality… Then, how long will it take for my son to return to normal?”

Bai Changyi frowned slightly, as if he didn’t understand Zhu Ao’s words. He thought for two seconds before looking towards Zhu Ao, “Mr. Zhu, you may have misunderstood my words.”

Zhu Ao also didn’t understand Bai Changyi anymore, “Misunderstood how?”

Bai Changyi took a draw from his cigarette, tapped the ashes off slowly and said, “The psychiatrist was for my friend, not for his son.”

Zhu Ao was at a loss, “What… What does this mean? Didn’t he treat his son’s illness?”

“Of course not.” Bai Changyi smiled, using a tone he often took on when explaining simple and obvious concepts in class, “After doing the relevant research, my friend realised that there was no problem with homosexuality, and that the problem lay with himself. He was deeply troubled by the unhealthy psychological state of homophobia, and it affected his daily life as well as the familial relationship between him and his son. So he looked for a psychiatrist to solve the problem.” After saying so much, Bai Changyi stubbed out the cigarette and turned towards Zhu Ao with a look of understanding in his eyes, “Mr. Zhu, I understand you well. Being a father is already very difficult, not to mention having to face your own psychological problems. It’s normal to be a little stressed. Don’t worry too much, I know a few good psychiatrists who I can introduce to you. If a psychological problem exists, then we’ll solve the problem. We are all students of engineering, and we don’t shy away from doctors, nor do we believe in unsolvable problems, isn’t that so?”