Your Distance

Back at the hotel, after washing away the sand on his body, Ting Shuang started packing up his luggage.

“You can take the luggage home. I’m fine with bringing just my mobile, wallet and ID card.” Ting Shuang looked around the room, “And the charger.”

“I’ll go with you.” Bai Changyi said, “I’ll pack everything up.”

Ting Shuang stood dazed for a while before saying, “Oh…”

Ever since returning from the beach, his reactions had been a little slow.

His phone screen displayed a message from Zhu Wenjia explaining the situation: I also only found out after returning to China.

Ting Shuang sat on the ground and looked at the screen for a long time before typing out one sentence: If anything else happens at any time, tell me.

Then he deleted it after typing it, and changed it to: Wait for me to come back.

After sending the message, he opened the browser and searched: Cerebral hemorrhage.

Countless words flooded his eyes in no particular order: mortality rate of acute diseases, high blood pressure, smoking, emotional agitation, residual effects, sudden onset, death.

“Ready to go.” Bai Changyi stretched his hand out in front of Ting Shuang.

“… Mm.” Ting Shuang gave his hand to Bai Changyi, letting him pull him up.

Time passed painfully slowly on the way to the airport.

Waiting for the flight was also difficult.

Ting Shuang wanted to smoke a cigarette, but he held back when he thought of what he’d seen when he was searching about cerebral hemorrhage.

“I regret now.” He suddenly said to Bai Changyi.

Bai Changyi didn’t speak, waiting for him to continue.

“I suddenly remembered a lot of things from the past.” Ting Shuang looked down at the ground between his feet, “I regret going abroad to study. I shouldn’t have been mad at him.”

After saying those few sentences, he remained quiet for a while. Bai Changyi kept listening, saying nothing.

“I’ll go to the bathroom.” Ting Shuang said.

He was gone for a long time, and when he came back he was carrying a paper bag in his hand.

“I bought a pair of shoes.” He forced himself to smile at Bai Changyi, a tinge of hope in his eyes, as if his life was hanging on this question, “Do you think he can wear this?”

Bai Changyi looked at him, “Yes, of course.”

“My ass.” Ting Shuang threw the bag onto the ground, “I don’t even know what his shoe size is. I call him only once a year, so why the hell am I feeling bad now? It’s no wonder no one told me when something happened to him.”

He burst into a rant, not even knowing whether he was complaining about himself or about others. After he had calmed down, he no longer had any anger to cover his vulnerability  up with. He rested his head on Bai Changyi’s shoulder and softly apologised.

Bai Changyi touched his head, “Go eat something.”

Ting Shuang shook his head.

He had no appetite.

During the eleven hours he spent on the plane, he hardly ate anything, and kept looking at the darkness outside the window because he couldn’t sleep, until the sun rose from the east, then  to somewhere too high up for him to see.

Bai Changyi knew that what he needed was neither food nor sleep. He needed to think through these things by himself and grow from them, whether he wanted to or not.

Zhu Wenjia and the driver waited for them at the airport.

“How is Dad?” Ting Shuang asked as soon as they met.

Zhu Wenjia said, “He hasn’t woken up yet.”

It wasn’t good news, but at least it wasn’t bad news.

Zhu Wenjia glanced at Bai Changyi, and then asked Ting Shuang, “Have you guys eaten yet? Should we go to the hospital first or—”

“Let’s go to the hospital.” Ting Shuang said.

“I thought so too. I guess you wouldn’t feel like going anywhere else. It’s half past two.” Zhu Wenjia checked the time and said to the driver, “Let’s hurry up.”

ICU visitation regulations were strict. They only allowed up to one hour of visitation every afternoon, from three to four o’clock, and a maximum of two people were allowed to visit at any one time.

In the car, Zhu Wenjia sat in the passenger seat, while Ting Shuang and Bai Changyi sat in the back. Ting Shuang saw a photo on the car. It was a small group photo. There was Zhu Ao, Weng Yunyi, and Zhu Wenjia as a child in the middle. After Zhu Wenjia was born, they wanted to take family portraits every year, but Ting Shuang had refused to participate since young, and wouldn’t give in no matter how much Zhu Ao tried to intimidate or persuade him. Later, after he grew up a little and his relationship with Weng Yunyi improved, he was willing to play with Zhu Wenjia again, but they were all used to him not being in the family portrait, so no one asked him if he wanted to be in it anymore. Even he himself felt like it was rather awkward for him to join it afterwards.

Now, seeing the family portrait in the car, he suddenly felt like someone without a family. His father had his own family, and his mother also had her own family…

“Ting.” Bai Changyi called out to him.

“Mm?” Ting Shuang returned to his senses, looking down at the photo album on Bai Changyi’s phone.

The entire page was full of their photos, as well as photos of their son.

“Oh right, did you trouble your friend to take care of our son for a few more days?” Ting Shuang asked.

“Of course. Let’s put this photo in the car when we get back?” Bai Changyi inconspicuously wrapped an arm around Ting Shuang’s waist, “Or this one?”

“Both’s fine.” Ting Shuang quietly squeezed Bai Changyi’s hand, “I want all of them.”

Zhu Wenjia realized what they were talking about and noticed the photos in the car. He took down the family portrait and put it in the car’s storage compartment.

“Zhu Wenjia, what are you doing?” Ting Shuang laughed, “There’s no need for that.”

“The past two days, my mother… We have these kinds of photos everywhere, and she keeps crying.” Zhu Wenjia fiddled with the storage compartment’s handle, “I get even more sad whenever I see one.”

Ting Shuang was silent for a while, “… That’s understandable. She must be sad.”

“I don’t want to see her cry.” Zhu Wenjia said.

Ting Shuang said, “You just need to cause less trouble for her.”

They drove very fast, and it was only a few minutes past three when they arrived at the hospital.

“Let’s hurry up.” Zhu Wenjia walked ahead of them.

After arriving outside the ICU, Zhu Wenjia asked Ting Shuang and Bai Changyi to wait, then went to ask the nurse to help them change into the isolation gowns, masks, hats and shoe covers that had to be worn in the ICU.

“Mr. Zhu?” The nurse looked at the visitation record, “Someone is already visiting today.”

“Someone is visiting? Right now?” Zhu Wenjia said, “It’s just after three o’clock, who’s visiting? Didn’t you say that only family members are allowed to visit?”

The nurse said, “It’s a family member. Mr. Zhu’s wife is visiting. She also brought a friend of Mr. Zhu’s with her.”

“My mother?” Zhu Wenjia said, “I told her that I’m picking my brother up today… What’s going on…”

“What’s the matter?” Ting Shuang came over and asked when he saw that things didn’t seem to be going well on Zhu Wenjia’s side.

“… My mother is visiting.” Zhu Wenjia was a little irritated, “We can only come back tomorrow.”

Ting Shuang thought for a moment and said, “I’ll wait here.”

“What are you waiting for?” Zhu Wenjia said, “You can’t go in even after they come out. The visitation hours are very short. You can’t see him even if you wait here.”

“It’s okay, I feel more at ease here.” Ting Shuang said, “Besides, I should also say hello to auntie. By the way, is the doctor here? I want to talk to the doctor.”

The resident doctor was surnamed Cheng, and had two huge dark circles under her eyes. When Ting Shuang came in, she was keying in medical records, and was upset when she heard that the other party was Zhu Ao’s relative.

Recently, too many people had come to ask about how much time Zhu Ao had left. She had already complained, “he hasn’t even died yet, you sure are anxious” countless times while their backs were turned, but she still had to be professional in front of his relatives. She put down the mouse, turned around, and carefully explained Zhu Ao’s condition to Ting Shuang.

She started with Zhu Ao’s history of hypertension, then talked about the patient’s sudden increase in blood pressure due to emotion he must have felt after drinking, causing the rupture of small blood vessels in the brain, which caused cerebral hemorrhage.

“This is a kind of stroke, which is what we usually hear.” She said.

Ting Shuang’s lips moved, and he repeated silently, “Stroke… Then, when will he wake up?”

“It’s hard to say.” Doctor Cheng paused, and continued to explain how cerebral edema is caused by cerebral hemorrhage. The cerebral edema that he had currently might cause brain herniation. “Then the centre of the respiratory system would be suppressed, and his life could be at risk at any time. We must prevent the occurrence of brain hernia. The patient’s condition is currently unstable and requires close observation.”

The entire time, Ting Shuang listened closely and didn’t talk for a long time afterwards. Then, he said, “He’s not the kind of person who doesn’t know how to control the amount he drinks, nor is he very emotional. He knows that he has high blood pressure and has medicine by his side. He was also afraid that something would happen to himself.”

He was asking why the patient was sent in, but the doctor could only deduce from the information provided by the patient’s family. After all, the doctor did not eat and drink with Zhu Ao.

Dr. Cheng could only treat the disease, but couldn’t help Ting Shuang sort out his confusion.

Seeing as Dr. Cheng did not speak, Ting Shuang realized that it was useless to say such things to the doctor, so he just thanked her, and then got up and left.

He returned to the ICU, and not long after, Weng Yunyi came out with red eyes.

The man with her was someone Ting Shuang had an impression of. He was a good friend of his dad, and one of RoboRun‘s shareholders.

Zhu Wenjia said, “Mum, didn’t I say that today–“

“Lil’ Jia, this is Uncle Yan, come greet him.” Weng Yunyi said, “Uncle Yan came all the way to see your father, so I had to bring him along.”

After she finished speaking, she looked at Ting Shuang and wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes, looking as if she didn’t know what to say, “You… Why did you have to piss off your father. Sigh… You usually don’t even call him, and the one time you do, you hurt him this badly… He’s been living peacefully for the past few years, but since that time when you… Forget it, forget it, we’re one family, and there’s no grudges you can keep within a family. You didn’t mean it, and no one knows who had caused this… Are you staying in the house today? I’m cooking, let’s have dinner together.”