Your Distance

After Bai Changyi’s ‘Ting, tilt the camera further down, I can’t see it’, the small speaker emitted a beep: “Disconnected from Bluetooth.”

It was disconnected?

Zhu Ao’s head didn’t move, but his eyes slowly shifted up towards the ceiling. Right above them, on the second floor, happened to be Ting Shuang’s bedroom.

After looking at the ceiling for a few seconds, Zhu Ao’s gaze returned to the now completely quiet Bluetooth speaker.

Throughout the whole process, his expression was indescribable.

The nurse looked at the speaker, then at Zhu Ao, not daring to break the dead silence in the dining area.

Zhu Ao picked up the teacup and slowly brought it to his mouth. His movements stalled for a long time, before he slowly put the teacup back onto the table. Just like that, he picked it up, put it back down, and repeated that process three more times. He couldn’t bring himself to swallow the tea, and ended up not drinking a single mouthful.

Finally, he spoke up, “Call Ting Shuang down for breakfast.”

The nurse nodded and was about to go upstairs when Zhu Ao added, “After fifteen minutes, no, make it half an hour.”

They were young, half an hour should be sufficient.

After giving that order, Zhu Ao finally recovered from the shock and was able to drink the cup of tea safely.

Unexpectedly, just two minutes later, Ting Shuang entered the dining area, looking relaxed and refreshed.

“Eating dim sum for breakfast today? You eat well when you’re at home.” He casually sat beside Zhu Ao, and used a pair of chopsticks to pick up a chicken foot with black bean sauce, chewing it in his mouth.

Zhu Ao glanced at the clock on the low cabinet, and then at Ting Shuang, who was eating happily. His gaze immediately turned complicated. After watching Ting Shuang for a long time, he asked, “Have you had a physical examination? You’re only twenty-four years old.”

“I have had one.” Ting Shuang said, “I have one every year.”

Zhu Ao said, “There are no problems?”

Ting Shuang said, “No, all my indicators are very good.”

Ting Shuang was very healthy, but the problem was…

Zhu Ao looked at the small speaker on the table, his gaze becoming more and more complicated.

“Why do you ask?” Ting Shuang put a steamed vermicelli roll with vegetables in the bowl beside Zhu Ao’s hand. “Does our family have a history of any genetic disease?”

“No, no,” Zhu Ao said. “But you should start paying attention to your body in your early twenties. Don’t wait until you are in your thirties, when you might not even have the strength to do what you want to do.”

Voicing out his thoughts to this extent was enough. He could ask if his son has had a physical examination, but it was better not to know too much about the health of his daughter-in-law.

“Yes, yes, it’s never too early to pay attention to one’s health.” Ting Shuang agreed with a smile.

In the past, he was always unwilling to listen to whatever Zhu Ao lectured him about, thinking it was quite annoying. He always felt like a subordinate being lectured by his boss. Now he was quite happy, and spent most of the morning eating breakfast while accompanying Zhu Ao. When they had finished eating, Zhu Wenjia came downstairs, looking lacklustre.

Zhu Ao said, “You stayed up late last night?”

Zhu Wenjia sat down and was in a daze for a while before he answered, “Mm.”

It was a good day. Autumn was in full bloom and the air was refreshing. After their meal, the nurse pushed Zhu Ao out for a walk.

From a distance, Zhu Wenjia looked at the side profiles of the nurse and Zhu Ao in the yard, and said to Ting Shuang, “I received a call from my mother’s lawyer. The court trial will start next Wednesday.”

“Mm.” Ting Shuang said, “Are you going to watch?”

“Mm.” Zhu Wenjia said, “Ge, how about you?”

“I can’t go.” Ting Shuang added water to the teapot and asked the nanny to take out the hot dim sum in the steamer for Zhu Wenjia to eat, “I have to go to work.”

Even if he had work, he could still apply for a day off one day in advance; it wasn’t impossible. But Zhu Wenjia didn’t question him further, and only responded with an “mm” before he started eating. Over this period of time, he’d felt quite suffocated, and although he could still joke around with Ting Shuang without mentioning Weng Yunyi, he would become quiet whenever Weng Yunyi was mentioned.

He still didn’t know how to face it.

He didn’t know how to face Zhu Ao, after everything that had happened with the personal seal; he didn’t dare to visit Zhu Ao in the hospital; and when Zhu Ao returned home, he often hid from him. That was until Ting Shuang told him, “Regarding what happened after Dad’s accident, be it about the company or about your mother, or about me, you don’t know anything. During this period of time, you’ve been preparing the materials for your university applications, nothing else.”

At that time, he was stunned, “You didn’t tell Dad…”

No. Ting Shuang thought to himself, it was unnecessary and not worth it.

“So you’d better apply to a university seriously for me,” Ting Shuang said to Zhu Wenjia.

The night before the trial, Zhu Wenjia couldn’t sleep and knocked on Ting Shuang’s door.

Ting Shuang was using his computer for a video call. The computer was on the table with the camera facing the window, and he was sitting by the window in pajamas, reading. The night breeze caused the cypress trees outside the window to rustle softly. On the computer screen was the side profile of Bai Changyi as he was cooking dinner. From time to time, the warm yellow light of the oven reflected on his hand, and there would be soft sounds of the knife on the chopping board from the computer.

The two of them were doing their own things. Occasionally, Ting Shuang called out to Bai Changyi, and he would raise his eyes to look at him. After looking at each other for a while, Ting Shuang would laugh and lower his head to continue reading, while Bai Changyi went on cooking.

When he heard the knock on the door, Ting Shuang took a look at the time on the computer. He hadn’t been paying attention to the time while he was reading, and didn’t expect it to be almost 1am already.

“Why didn’t you ask me to go to bed?” Ting Shuang asked Bai Changyi as he put down the book in his hand, getting ready to open the door.

“I didn’t want to interrupt you.” Bai Changyi said.

Ting Shuang smiled at Bai Changyi, “Then, I’m hanging up first.”

Bai Changyi said, “Okay.”

“You’re this relaxed?” Ting Shuang teased Bai Changyi, “Are you not worried about me meeting up with someone else in the middle of the night?”

“Who would you meet?” Bai Changyi joked, knowing that the little bastard was clearly at home, “Your dad?”

Ting Shuang waved his hand and said, “My dad struggles to even get up and walk, let alone do other things.”

Bai Changyi: “…”

Just because he struggled to walk?

So he’d be okay if he could walk?

What kind of logic was that.

After Ting Shuang said that, he seemed to feel like something was wrong, but he didn’t think much about it, only grinned and hung up.

He wasn’t usually like this. He could only act like this with Bai Changyi, without a care for anything.

Would the great Professor Bai tell him off?

He had long since gotten used to it.

After hanging up, Ting Shuang opened the bedroom door to see Zhu Wenjia standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“What are you doing? You aren’t sleeping, and even came over here in the middle of the night.” Ting Shuang let Zhu Wenjia in.

He then remembered the court trial that was to happen the next morning.

Zhu Wenjia entered the room but did not sit down nor speak. He stood in a daze for a long time before getting a sentence out, “Ge, you aren’t sleeping either.”

“I’m going to sleep now.” Ting Shuang said, “Aren’t you sleeping? You can’t sleep in tomorrow.”

Zhu Wenjia stood in place for a long time, before slowly curling in on himself like a shrimp thrown into a hot pot, “…I can’t sleep.”

Ting Shuang sat down quietly beside him, not saying a word.

“I keep thinking… if…” Zhu Wenjia buried his face in his knees, his voice getting softer and softer, “If I…”

“Even if you didn’t take the personal seal, she’d have thought of another way.” Ting Shuang put his palm on Zhu Wenjia’s head and rubbed it twice, something he rarely did, “Alright, don’t stress yourself about it too much.”

“… No.” Zhu Wenjia squeezed out the word from his throat, and after a long time he squeezed out a few more words, “… It’s not that.”

Ting Shuang didn’t know what Zhu Wenjia wanted to say, but he didn’t ask either, only making an “mm” sound to indicate that he was listening.

Compared to the past, he was much more patient.

He didn’t know how long it took for Zhu Wenjia to almost incoherently say, “I keep thinking… if before, I… I didn’t, with you, and my mother…”

As if feeling cold from the wind blowing into the bedroom, Zhu Wenjia shrank back slightly. Ting Shuang got up, closed the window, and sat back beside Zhu Wenjia.

“Is there any beer at home?” Zhu Wenjia said suddenly.

“No,” Ting Shuang said, “No tobacco or alcohol, or anything of the like.”

""

“Wait a while.” Zhu Wenjia stood up slowly, dragging his still-numb legs downstairs, and when he came back he was holding half a bottle of cooking wine in his hands.

“Ge, sit there.” Zhu Wenjia pointed to the high chair beside the window.

Ting Shuang originally wanted to take the cooking wine away from Zhu Wenjia, but when Zhu Wenjia opened his mouth, his breath already smelled like alcohol. Ting Shuang thought he had already drunk a lot climbing up the stairs, and thought inwardly: Forget it, just drink, drink and go right to sleep.

When Ting Shuang sat down beside the window, Zhu Wenjia sat down on the high chair next to him. Ting Shuang suddenly remembered how Zhu Wenjia had come to Germany to look for him shortly after he had been cheated on. At that time, he still wanted to act honorable and dignified, but after two sips of wine, both honor and dignity had disappeared without a trace.

Zhu Wenjia forced himself to finish the remaining half a bottle of cooking wine, waiting for the alcohol to gradually take effect, turning his eyes red and heating up his internal organs.

Now it was time to speak.

“I keep thinking, if I didn’t tell my mother about your… flaws, then maybe she wouldn’t have done those things… for me…” Zhu Wenjia looked down at the bottle in his hands and burped, “If I didn’t tell you about my mother… then the two of you…”

Drinking on an empty stomach made him drunk very quickly.

“I… Ge, say, do you think I’m extremely… extremely disgusting…” He let out a hot and heavy sigh, “I… I’ve been like this since I was a child… I wanted my mum to like only me, and my dad to like only me. I wanted… I wanted you… to like only me too… later on I wanted to change… but it’s already become a habit… Why did it turn out like this…”

He planted his face into Ting Shuang’s chest, words still streaming from his mouth in his groggy state, “Ge… I’m so scared… I envy you so much… When I was young, they all scolded me…  saying I was the illegitimate child of a mistress… saying you’re motherless because of me… They all liked you… Did you know? I once heard dad say that he married my mum just to prove that he wasn’t wrong in the past. He’d do the same even if it was someone else… For so many years… Ge… I was so scared… I was scared that my dad only liked you… scared that my mum would be like that, too… I was scared you wouldn’t like me because of my mum… Can’t you just hate her, and not hate me…”

His speech slowed, and his voice slowly weakened, until only the sound of his steady breathing remained.

Ting Shuang supported him and put him on the bed nearby.

Ge, say… Do you think I’m extremely disgusting…

Was he disgusting…

Ting Shuang stood beside the bed for a while before leaving the bedroom and closing the door.

He intended to go to the guest room, but somehow ended up walking into the courtyard. He looked up at the sky. There were no stars or moon tonight. So he walked to the cypress tree and lay down under it, its canopy covering his view of the sky like a cloud.

When he once again closed his eyes, the sky was full of stars.

No, you’re not disgusting, Ting Shuang answered the question in his mind. You aren’t disgusting, you’re just an ordinary person, like an ordinary night sky without stars.