Your Teacher I, am Hella Rich

Chapter 24 - Have I Misunderstood That Scum… YueJian ChunHe?

This year’s civil service examination took place on the first Saturday of November.

Although Ji Xiaoli hadn’t taken his studies all that seriously nor had he put much effort into attending the remedial classes, he still took the exam earnestly.

Mr. Ji and Mrs. Ji dropped their son off at the examination hall at the first light of the morning. When Ji Xiaoli returned home after the exam, his whole body walked as if it lacked any semblance of living., And with utter and complete honesty, he said: “I think I failed the examination.”

Mr. Ji slapped his thigh: “It’s okay, son, I’ll support you in anything that you do!” It’s better for you to not be a civil servant… What with low wages and having to suffer needlessly.

In the evening, Ji Xiaoli tabbed open his WeChat, and found that his college mates were also chatting about the civil service exam that took place earlier today. Everyone claimed to have flunked it, save for a few high achievers who declared, “It didn’t seem too hard”. They were unanimously condemned.

Ji Xiaoli perked up.

So, he wasn’t the only one who botched the exam.

Seeing others having a bad day had Ji Xiaoli in seventh heaven.

After chatting in the group for a while, someone ridiculed Li Fengshao.

【Xia Xiao: Old Li, you’re different from the rest of us, you’re a postgraduate of Fudan University, you’ll graduate from an elite school. Unlike us, you won’t have anything to worry about. This sucks ass. This year’s essay is way too difficult!】

【Li Fengshao: Ah, please don’t bring it up again. My old man was foaming at the mouth today. The entire institute’s senior brothers and sisters didn’t dare to make a peep.】

【Xia Xiao: What’s up? Menopause?】

【Li Fengshao: No. It’s the crown prince. He’s gone home to take over the family business! That’s the old man’s pride and joy, said to inherit the old man’s research institute in the future to further flourish it. The school urged him to stay. The old man was also trying to persuade him to see reason to no avail. It turned out he didn’t return to China to work on robots. It was to inherit the family business! Shit, I want a family inheritance too.】

A particularly attractive man was brought to the forefront of Ji Xiaoli’s mind, his thoughts slowly drifting to the humiliating things he had done that day: wearing his clothes backward and having a soup-induced nosebleed.

Everyone comforted Li Fengshao, and finally came to a conclusion——

If you don’t study well, then go back and inherit the family business. As such is reality.

All the students:【Damn those rich bastards!】

Ji Xiaoli concurred:【Damn those rich bastards!】

The nouveau riche Ji Xiaoli had no self-awareness that he was also rich.

With the agonizing exams being over, and the next day would be the day when Ji Xiaoli and Milk Tea Small Crisp’s wedding takes place.

Ji Xiaoli went online early. The master and disciple were very much in tune with each other.

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: 2v2?】

【Teacher Orders a Salute: Ok!】

Ji Xiaoli steered his avatar and arrived at the familiar Loulan Ancient Battlefield to find Milk Tea Small Crisp already there waiting. The two immediately teamed up for a duel. It did not take long for them to be matched up against a pair of opponents. Ji Xiaoli cracked his knuckles and eagerly vented all his displeasure with the public examination on PK-ing.

One is a great swordsman ranked 13th on the Huashan leaderboards, and the other is a great wet nurse ranked first on the Emei leaderboard. With the teacher-disciple buff in addition to the spousal buff, Ji Xiaoli and Milk Tea Small Crisp swept in for the kill, bringing about a massacre in their wake.

Ji Xiaoli was completely immersed in the game, but around 7:00 pm, Milk Tea Small Crisp suddenly canceled the match.

Ji Xiaoli:【Disciple???】

We’re not playing anymore?

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: Wedding.】

Ji Xiaoli startled.

Holy shit! That’s right, we’re getting married! The teacher and disciple hurriedly left the Loulan Ancient Battlefield and headed for Forgetful Mountain.

A week ago, Boss Milk Tea sent out 33 golden megaphones in a row to announce his marriage to Ji Xiaoli, which stunned players in the World chat. It stood to reason that two men getting married and making such a big deal out of it should have had a forum post made and labeled 818.

However, soon after Ji Xiao Li and Milk Tea Small Crisp started teaming up to compete in the 2v2 arena. The players actively sought to find an explanation for the pair:【Boss Milk Tea and Boss Salute obviously got married for the spousal buff!】

When this theory was made public, all the players were convinced.

As the master and disciple moved up the ranks in 2v2 leaderboard, the players received further evidence that confirmed their suspicions:【See, they’ve started to PK.】

As always, the region’s single-minded fixation on cultivation and public persona of never getting into trouble was not falling apart today.

But, some raised doubts:【Why have a wedding if they got married because of PK? Boss Milk Tea also sent out 33 gold megaphones. How rich is he?!】

Ji Xiaoli also found the wedding odd and very much agreed with the player.

Who would have expected that in the next second, the Buddhist players in the region found a good excuse for Ji Xiaoli:【The world of the rich is not one easily understood. Just as you can surmise, why that son of a bitch Jade Starship has beauties draping themselves all over him. 7CPs* and all of them are dead-set on him. Not a single one of them is jealous of the other.】

*CP is a popular Internet slang that stands for the lovers or couples in a fictional setting. It’s an abbreviation of couple pairing. The English equivalent of this would be ‘ship’.

The player immediately agreed:【Yes, yes, the world of the rich is not one easily understood.】

That’s right. Wudang da shixiong, Jade Starship, was revealed to have been relishing in the bliss of a harmonious harem two days ago. He cheated on seven female Emeis! The seven women were not even the slightest bit resentful of one another and got along amicably!

It was worth mentioning that after this incident was posted on the forum, it was put on blast for only a short while before vanishing without a trace.

Knight Errant Road first region’s 818 constitution was like an indestructible gemstone.

Why have a wedding when you’re only getting married for the spousal buff?

The answer to this question was given by Milk Tea Small Crisp himself:【Is this your first time getting married?】

Ji Xiaoli was dumbstruck and admitted honestly:【Yeah.】Motae-solo*!

*母胎单身 Motae-solo is derived from a Korean phrase and is an internet slang term that pokes fun at people who have never been in a relationship, so their lives are like solo performances. It’s an alternative to single dog (单身狗 ).

【It’s also my first time.】

【?】

【Shifu, have you forgotten our sect’s ancestral creed?】

【Beating YueJian ChunHe that son of a bitch to death?】

【…It’s foolish but hella rich.】

Milk Tea Small Crisp:【This is our first wedding. If we’re doing it, we might as well make it the best it can be.】

Ji Xiaoli was lulled into nodding in agreement:【You’re right, we must make it the very best!】

He absolutely forgot that the initial inquiry was “why have a wedding”.

While Milk Tea Small Crisp was preparing for the wedding, Ji Xiaoli did not stay idle. He was in the dark about what arrangements his disciple had made, but he also wanted to give him a marriage ceremony to be remembered. They had been playing the game for so long without a girl to hook up with, and it doesn’t look like they will ever get a date either. The master and disciple could only share their warmth and soak in the sweetness of this master-disciple relationship.

Ji Xiaoli arrived at Forgetful Mountain; Milk Tea Small Crisp made himself scarce prior to this.

The snow-covered summit of Forgetful Mountain was teeming with guild members of Emperor Pavilion and a large crowd of onlookers munching on melon seeds who wanted in on the festivities.

The blue-clothed swordsman traveled up to the highest point of the peak on a golden mount and waved his hand in a lofty fashion:【Thank you all for attending the wedding reception between my disciple and I. Although our motives for this wedding are very impure, ahem, yes, we did it because of PK, but everyone who came are our guests, so let’s all have a good time.】

And in the next second, Ji Xiaoli was sprinkling red envelopes.

【World】Wudang Traitor: Damn, Boss Salute is at Forgetful Mountain handing out red packets!

【World】Birds of a Thousand Hills Fly Without End: Aaaa I managed to roll a green skill! Many thanks to Boss Salute. I will kneel to you. Wishing the boss a happy marriage!

【World】Nongfu Spring: Fuck, wait for me! I’m coming over!

Ji Xiaoli was incomparably generous, and red envelopes worth 1 yuan were given out for free. The year-round snow-capped Forgetful Mountain rained red packets, and players clamored feverishly for the charitable offerings. The guild members of Emperor Pavilion were no exception; none were able to resist the urge to get their hands on one of the red packets. The phrase ‘Congratulations on your marriage’ was sent out in bursts.

As soon as the clock struck eight, Protect Our Meat Bun cleared his throat, and the members of Emperor Pavilion retreated to their original positions.

Everyone chanted their congratulations in unison, and then jointly produced fireworks valued at 128RMB from their bundles.

Dozens of fireworks soared into the zenith, blossoming and illuminating the inky black canvas of the heavens above. Each exploding firework was worth 128RMB, and the brilliance of the RMB blinded the players.

【Just how much is this shit?!】

""

【They say the 128 fireworks are the most beautiful. I can confidently refute that statement. One hundred 128 fireworks are the most fucking beautiful aaa!】

Ji Xiaoli was struck by the magnificence and hurriedly turned around. Amid the dazzling golden streams of light, a Jiu* Luanfeng** Carriage descended from the sky.

*The number 9 九(jiǔ) sounds just like 久 (jiǔ), which means “long-lasting” and “eternity” in Chinese. At birthday and wedding celebrations, the number 9 represents longevity. 

**鸾凤 Luanfeng means husband and wife. In a more literal sense, Luan(鸾) is a mythological bird in East Asian mythology, and Feng(凤) is a phoenix.

Rays of gold blossomed around the ornate phoenix carriage, the nine Luanfeng sang with resounding chirps; the flock of birds responded to each other’s calls.

A white-clothed Emei stood in front of the phoenix carriage and extended her hand to Ji Xiaoli, cordially inviting him to a shared ride.

By the time Ji Xiaoli regained his bearings, his disciple was already steering the Jiu Luanfeng Carriage and circling around Forgetful Mountain. Then, the master and disciple duo rode away… amidst the astonishment of the players.

The players at Forgetful Mountain:【Holy shit?】

The wedding ended just like that?

Protect Our Meat Bun stood up:【Ahem, the master-disciple… husband and wife have some business to attend to. That would be it for the wedding. But Milk Tea gave us a lot of red packets before giving us the fireworks. I didn’t realize that Salute would actually pass out red envelopes too. That was how we got another wave of red envelopes.】

Players:【I will kneel to the bosses. Long live the bosses. May you soon have a son! 】

Ji Xiaoli was shocked by the special effects of Jiu Luanfeng Carriage and stayed in a catatonic state for a solid 10 minutes.

Ji Xiaoli:【Holy shit, disciple. A Jiu Luanfeng Carriage! Is this the Jiu Luanfeng Carriage that has to be drawn from the lot???】

Milk Tea Small Crisp:【En.】

The Jiu Luanfeng Carriage was a rare item in Knight Errant Road, just like YueJian ChunHe’s apparel. It was just last week when Knight Errant Road released an event for players to draw apparel loot boxes with a slim probability of scoring certain items, and a microscopic chance of getting a Jiu Luanfeng Carriage. 

By riding in this vehicle, one can cross map boundaries and travel all over the world without passing the map loading points.

Being taken on a ride all over the map by nine Luanfeng’s; no matter how you choose to look at it, it’s simply over the top. Since it had such a low drop rate. There are bosses in other regions who are harassed by their girlfriends, insisting that they draw the Jiu Luanfeng Carriage. Alas, despite having put 50,000 in the ringer, it was still nowhere in sight. 

【How much did it cost you to get it?!】

Ji Xiaoli was incredibly concerned about the matter.

Milk Tea Small Crisp:【…I’m a European.】

【How much?!】

【80,000.】

Ji Xiaoli:【You’re even more extra than YueJian ChunHe!】

Milk Tea Small Crisp:【….】

YueJian ChunHe had spent 30,000 to draw his outfit. Meanwhile, his disciple had spent a full 80,000!

Ji Xiaoli could feel an oncoming stomach cramp:【Too expensive…】

Milk Tea Small Crisp:【Does it look nice?】

【Of course! It’s way fancy!】

【Good.】

So long as it looks good, then it’s perfect.

Leaving the players on Forgetful Mountain behind, Ji Xiaoli hauled his disciple and excitedly traversed the entire map. Despite having frolicked about, he did not forget the reason this marriage occurred:【I’ve improved my PK skills recently. Would you like to have a go, disciple?】

【Alright.】

Ji Xiaoli perked up, vigorously clicking away on his keyboard and mouse. Within three minutes, he died by the white-clad Emei’s train of white silk.

But Milk Tea Small Crisp was a tad taken aback:【You’ve become stronger.】

It wasn’t that his gear was better. It was his skills that saw an improvement.

Ji Xiaoli scrambled up from the ground and typed his reply confidently:【Disciple, didn’t you want to PK? Although this teacher can’t compare to you, I don’t intend on holding you back either. I may never be as strong as you, but I’ll keep getting stronger. We, teacher and disciple, will beat up Bei Yuan and Sword Dog together. You’re the true Emei da shijie!】

【How long have you been training?】

Ji Xiaoli pondered:【It hasn’t been that long. Every night, Boss Pigeon would accompany and train me for a while. Her PK skills are pretty good. These sessions go on for about… an hour or more every day? Oh yeah, I had to take the civil service examinations yesterday so it was less than an hour yesterday.】

Milk Tea Small Crisp stood atop the Jiu Luanfeng Carriage, the magnificent and noble phoenix gently brushing against the Emei’s frame as she regarded the Huashan swordsman beside her.

A good while.

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: I’ll be strong enough.】

Ji Xiaoli dazedly read the line of words.

【Teacher Orders a Salute: Good!】

Having just gotten the Jiu Luanfeng Carriage, Ji Xiaoli joyously spent a few days playing with his disciple. It was only when the novelty wore off to the point where they got bored did they continue PK.

His disciple was not around tonight. Thus, Ji Xiaoli could only participate in the 5v5 arena by himself. Braised Pigeon added him into the team; immediately he was stunned by the team’s luxurious lineup.

Braised Pigeon, Pin Seng Fa Hao Jie Se, Protect Our Meat Bun and… YueJian ChunHe!

Ji Xiaoli had not thought about YueJian ChunHe ever since he joined Emperor Pavilion a month ago.

Emperor Pavilion players are very welcoming, and everyone is a pleasure to talk to once they get acquainted. However, Ji Xiaoli felt conflicted by the sight of YueJian ChunHeand, sending six dots to Braised Pigeon.

【Braised Pigeon: ?】

【Teacher Orders a Salute: That’s… Boss Yue?】

【Braised Pigeon: No, ChunHe is occupied tonight so he can’t PK. This is his proxy. You know him. He was the one who went dungeoning with us before.】

It’s that comic relief substitute!

Ji Xiaoli heaved a sigh of relief.

【Pin Seng Fa Hao Jie Se: Little Three, why is it only you who has been on YueJian ChunHe’s account recently? Where’s Little Five? I haven’t seen him in a while.】

【YueJian ChunHe: What Little Three? This laozi has a name. I’m Lao Niu!】

【Pin Seng Fa Hao Jie Se: Aren’t you ChunHe’s leveling team’s third proxy? Doesn’t matter what you’re called. Where’s Little Five? He offered to help me level last month. It just so happens my proxy has been quite busy recently. Maybe he doesn’t want to do it anymore.】

【YueJian ChunHe: Boss fired Little Five. I found out he was selling Boss Yue’s equipment under the table. Boss Yue didn’t bother pursuing the matter and just decided to lay him off. Boss Yue has excessive amounts of good equipment. So many that he can’t possibly use them all. You won’t be discovered if you sold one or two. He had apparently been putting them up on the market for months. It was only by accident that I found out.】

Ji Xiaoli was confounded.

【Teacher Orders a Salute: A power leveling proxy team?】

【Braised Pigeon: Yeah. ChunHe has a leveling team. Weren’t you aware, Salute? I have 2. ChunHe has 8.】

【Protect Our Meat Bun: What a trashy guy. How much of ChunHe’s stuff did he sell?】

【YueJian ChunHe: I don’t know. The gist of it is that Boss Yue used to play on an Emei alt account and he managed to draw some good stuff on it. Didn’t Boss Yue stop playing on that account at some point? He just never went on it again. So I went to check two days ago and found every item sold off.】

Such a revelation dropping atop their heads had the other three people on the team shell-shocked:【Boss Yue used to play on an Emei alt account?!】

Meat Bun and Braised Pigeon were caught off guard by the fact that YueJian ChunHe even had another Emei alt account.

This was not within Jie Se’s expectations at all.

Only Ji Xiaoli did not make a peep. Suddenly, he felt as if something was amiss; his mind a confused, muddled mess.

An Emei alt account, a power leveling team, a proxy who was selling equipment.

【YueJian ChunHe: Yeah. That was about 2 months ago. Lemme check…】

【YueJian ChunHe: That account’s name is “HeChun”, Level 120, cultivation 1W3. Ranked 17th on the Emei leaderboard at its peak. This is a secret. Don’t mention that it was me who divulged this info. Boss Yue had already decided that Bei Yuan was too annoying and wanted another healer. So, he trained an alt account. We were also helping him with it. But then, out of nowhere, he decided he didn’t want that account anymore and stopped playing.】

Meat Bun and Pigeon who had inside information immediately made sense of it: Why he isn’t playing on that account anymore? That’s because he managed to buy an Emei account with the Hands of Rejuvenation!

Ji Xiaoli stared at his phone screen in disbelief.

【System】Your spouse, disciple “Milk Tea Small Crisp” is online.

Ji Xiaoli subconsciously clicked on his disciple’s avatar.

【PM】Teacher Orders a Salute: Disciple, I’ve got a wild guess…

【PM】Milk Tea Small Crisp: ?

【PM】Teacher Orders a Salute: Have I misunderstood that scum… YueJian ChunHe?