Your Teacher I, am Hella Rich

Chapter 9 – Shifu, I’m a guy ^_^

The fury of the Africans* was like a torrential flood; volatile and persisted for a week before it concluded.

*This is not meant to be racist. African (非洲人) is a Chinese gaming slang that refers to a very unlucky person. 

Within the long, drawn-out week, Milk Tea Small Crisp had over 20 bounties placed on her head. Consequently, more than 20 fresh tombstones materialized, one after the other, in “Knight Errant Road”. On reflection, it was not as though the Africans did not want to kill the European Emperor*, but rather, Milk Tea Small Crisp was level 126 and had 1W4 Cultivation. It was incredibly difficult to try and assassinate her again. Moreover, the bounty may not necessarily be worth the trouble. The masses gradually began to forget the incident regarding the “Hands of Rejuvenation”. 

*European (欧洲人) is a Chinese gaming slang that refers to a very lucky individual. I will elaborate further in T/N at the end of the chapter.

The teacher and disciple duo routinely leveled up every day, upgraded their equipment, and enhanced their various cheats.

Ji Xiaoli Level 128, Cultivation 1.39W.

Milk Tea Small Crisp Level 126, Cultivation 1.44W.

Ji Xiaoli had managed to place himself at Rank 27 in the PK arena, in addition to leveling up their equipment and increasing their level growth.

He had fallen from the 18th to the 27th place; his PK skills, on the contrary, had seen a drastic improvement.

【Teacher Orders a Salute: Holy shit! Disciple, I actually managed to unleash a set of combo moves today, and my bald donkey opponent was obliterated before he even had a chance to use his Golden Shield.】 

Milk Tea Small Crisp did not hold back from ruthlessly reminding him of the grim reality:

【That Shaolin’s Cultivation is lower than yours.】

Ji Xiaoli continued to feign ignorance.

When all was said and done, he was the one who had triumphed.

He won three rounds today!

Ji Xiaoli’s PK techniques had improved by leaps and bounds. The reason why his ranking had fallen was because he had exceeded the upper limit of the “Level 90-119” bracket, and was now placed in the “Level 120-149” bracket. After winning against three Level 149 opponents in a row, Ji Xiaoli was filled with pride. He brandished his sword:【Disciple, how about a spar?】

There was a peculiar look in Milk Tea Small Crisp’s eyes, as he gave him a once-over. 

Five minutes later.

【Spare me, Disciple!!! 】 

【……】

A train of white silk smashed into Ji Xiaoli’s body, and the blue-robed swordsman cried out in miserable agony before crumpling to the ground in a heap.

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: I’m going to do some pulls in the Jade Pavilion. Let’s meet up at the Treasure Hunt Event tonight.】 

【Teacher Orders a Salute: Eh, ok. 】

It was not long after when Ji Xiaoli noticed the name of his own disciple constantly flashing past on the System Announcement.

【System:】Flawless as a white jade coalescing and reflecting an intrinsic nature. Player “Milk Tea Small Crisp” has performed good deeds and accumulated virtue. Fortune has its own fate. Open the Hundred Treasure Box and receive the sacred script “Divinity of the Northern Depths”!

 【System:】Flawless as a white jade coalescing and reflecting an intrinsic nature…

Milk Tea Small Crisp’s System Announcement quickly flooded the World chat.

The Hundred Treasure Box, or Jade Pavilion, as it was known to players, is the only way to acquire Golden and Purple Skills. The purchase limit is 9,999 per person, per day and is worth 40RMB per pull. Ji Xiaoli had once mentioned that YueJian ChunHe was an African whose face was as black as the bottom of a pot, because he spent two days in the Jade Pavilion doing pulls; wasting 800,000 RMB, and only managed to draw a trash Golden Skill.

The probability of a Gold-Ranked Skill being drawn is extremely low. Most players only ever draw silver taels in the Jade Pavilion. It was already a rare sight to draw an advanced Skill. 

When Ji Xiaoli saw that Milk Tea Small Crisp had actually drawn the Golden Sacred script, “Divinity of the Northern Depths”, he could not help feeling overwhelmed by his mixed emotions as he lamented: 【Disciple is such a European!】

What he was not aware of, however, was that his Disciple had already drawn 30 Hundred Treasure Boxes before the System announced that Milk Tea Small Crisp had obtained “Divinity of the Northern Depths”.

Without thinking too much of it, Ji Xiaoli rode on his golden mount, glancing in the direction his Disciple had left, diffident and abashed; and then cryptically trudged toward a secret path outside Wudang Mountain.

The Absolute Wondrous Wudang Mountain, the Golden Palace located atop its summit, housed precious carvings of jade.*

*This calls on the real-life Wudang Mountains, specifically its Golden Summit.

The setting of Wudang Mountain in “Knight Errant Road” was akin to the plane of immortals. There were seven peaks in total that were protected by hazy clouds, obscuring and isolating it from the outside world, making it seem almost ethereal. When one traveled down a narrow mountain path from the Western Peak of Wudang Mountain, one would be led to a modest lotus pond. The lotus leaves covered the pool in a dense, lush green. Now and again, a red koi or two could be seen swiftly zipping through the pond, in between the lotus leaves.

A koi bit onto the hook. The female Huashan who was fishing, immediately reeled in the line and brought the koi to shore.

【Current】Dream Crushing Mist: Caught you! Shixiong, the koi here are much easier to catch than anywhere else.

 【Current】Teacher Orders a Salute: Yeah. I purposely went on the forum to look for game strategies. Wudang Mountain’s West Peak has a particularly high rate for catching koi.

 【Current】Dream Crushing Mist: I still have 15 more koi to go. Can you stay with me for a while, shixiong?

 【Current】Teacher Orders a Salute: Go ahead, I’ll catch a few as well and sell them.

The female Huashan, dressed in a full flared skirt in the shade of coral, happily lifted the hem of her skirt, settling down as she continued to fish.

Huashan sect uniforms were typically blue and white, both men and women appearing valiant and heroic in bearing. The coral pink dress was an article of clothing from an event held in-game a while ago. The female Huashan was not as feminine and dainty as an Emei, but there was also a very distinct kind of charm to her.

【Dream Crushing Mist: Aiih, If I had known early on, I wouldn’t have picked a Huashan to play as. The controls are so convoluted, I can’t even defeat anyone. Shixiong, it’s amazing that you rank 27th on the PK leaderboard. 】

When had Ji Xiaoli ever been complimented? The only other female player he was familiar with was his own disciple, a wet nurse* who aggressively outputted DPS. Whenever he met up with said disciple, he would only be abused to death.

*Wet nurse 奶妈 is a Chinese gaming slang for healer.

Ji Xiaoli could not help but feel proud of himself:【No, no… You have yet to meet my disciple.】 With that, he continued to rain praise for them, exclaiming,【You have no idea how amazing my disciple is. Her cultivation is better than mine. She’s also very good at PK-ing. I’ve never won a single round against her.】

It seemed as though the female Huashan did not want to speak of Milk Tea Small Crisp:

【But I’ve never seen her on the PK leaderboard.】

Ji Xiaoli was bursting with pride as he exclaimed: 【That’s because my disciple is very low-key! She really is amazing!】

The female Huashan fell silent, swiveling her head around and going back to fish in a fixed manner.

Ji Xiaoli failed to realize something amiss with the other party’s mood. Naturally, he also did not notice his words made a certain disciple, who happened to be passing through, chuckle. He stood atop the West Peak of Wudang Mountain, not making his way down to the lotus pond to catch the ‘cheater’ in the act.

Wudang West Peak, on the White Jasper Bridge, a Huashan swordsman in picturesque white robes stood by the bridge, surveying the scene between the two figures below.

The white-clad Emei who rode on a horse to complete a quest, suddenly realized his companion had not followed. Protect Our Meat Bun turned his steed around. As soon as he lowered his head, he saw the two Huashan who were on a date, sitting by the lotus pond.

【Team】Protect Our Meat Bun: Aiyo, ChunHe. Is that not your shifu? Is the Level 89 female Huashan standing next to him your shiniang*?

*shiniang 师娘 refers to the wife of one’s master.

【Team】YueJian ChunHe: I don’t know.

【Team】Protect Our Meat Bun: Are we leaving? I want to go to Baituo Mountain Village to do some dungeon runs.

【Team】YueJian ChunHe: You go ahead.

【System】Player “YueJian ChunHe” has left the team.

Meat Bun speechlessly sent him a PM: 【Are you trying to catch the adulterer in the act? Isn’t your shifu a man?】

YueJian ChunHe did not grace him with a reply but proceeded to very smoothly move “Protect Our Meat Bun” to the “Heavily brain damaged” section of his friend list.

Ji Xiaoli was searching for a better spot to fish for koi when his mailbox suddenly lit up.

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: I can see you, Master. 】

A sudden chill rushed up Ji Xiaoli’s spine as he became flustered. “I’ve been caught in the act” flashed through his mind. However, as soon as the thought came to him, he dismissed it. “What supposed ‘adultery’ did I commit? Nothing is going on between me and my little disciple!”

Ji Xiaoli got to his feet and searched around: 【I don’t see you anywhere, Disciple.】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: I’m flying over.】

In the very next second, the whistle of a severe gust of wind reverberated through the air.A pristine, white-clothed Emei descended from the sky and landed gently on the lotus leaves. She was as light as a swallow. With a few mild strokes, she glided up to the shore on a lotus leaf and took dainty steps to Ji Xiaoli’s side.

A blue-robed swordsman and a white-robed Emei.

They were a sight for sore eyes when they stood side-by-side.

【Crushing Mist, this is my disciple, Milk Tea Small Crisp.】

The female Huashan kept mum. She stood up, and only after pausing for half a day did she start:【Your master and I were fishing for koi to complete a daily task. He kept mentioning and praising you for your prowess.】

Ji Xiaoli did not catch on to the nuances of the other’s words and wholeheartedly agreed: 

【Yes, my Disciple is a prodigious one.】

Dream Crushing Mist sneakily clicked open Milk Tea Small Crisp’s equipment inventory and was startled by what the other party had. She did not speak, and neither did Milk Tea Small Crisp. Ji Xiaoli could recognize the feeling of tension in the air and was about to break the silence to ease the atmosphere when the female Emei began to shift.

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: He’s right. I am quite a prodigy. 】

【Dream Crushing Mist：…】

【Teacher Orders a Salute：…】

No, Disciple, shouldn’t you be more humble?!

The white-robed Emei suddenly moved, circling twice around the female Huashan introspectively: 【Who’s this? My shimu*?】

*shimu 师母 is a term of respect for your teacher’s wife. 

Ji Xiaoli was dazed.

He met Dream Crushing Mist two days ago when he was passing through the Swallow Dock. Dream Crushing Mist had only been Level 78 then, they had no money to make in-game purchases to buy equipment or cheats. Even her Cultivation was rather abysmal. She wanted to pass the Swallow Dock dungeon on Normal mode but had failed several times. Ji Xiaoli was wallowing in boredom, thus he decided to lend a hand to his shimei* of the same sect. They then added each other to their friend list.

*shimei 师妹 means Junior Martial Sister.

It stands to reason that Ji Xiaoli really wanted to pursue this girl. After all, Dream Crushing Mist was pleasant to talk to, easy to get along with, and had a gentle disposition. However, when it came time to answer Milk Tea Small Crisp, he found himself unable to respond.

After holding it in for half a day, Ji Xiaoli finally answered:【No, she’s just a friend.】

Dream Crushing Mist struggled to find words for a while before interjecting: 【I’ve heard that you are particularly solid with PK. I rarely see a girl who’s strong at PK-ing, how do you exercise your skills?】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp：…girl?】

【Dream Crushing Mist: ?】

Milk Tea Small Crisp responded after a while: 【Do you want to give it a go?】

【Dream Crushing Mist：Huh?】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp：I’ll remove all my equipment and cheats. My Cultivation is now lower than yours. Do you want to try?】

Dream Crushing Mist gnashed her teeth: 【Fine with me!】

Within a minute, Dream Crushing Mist was slapped into the lotus pond by Milk Tea Small Crisp, who only had a Cultivation of 5000.

【Teacher Orders a Salute: Damn, Disciple! What was that move? The damage value is so high!】

Ji Xiaoli unintentionally did not assist the female Huashan who fell down, but was inquiring his disciple on his PK skills. This type of foolish straight man doesn’t deserve a girlfriend. Dream Crushing Mist clambered out of the lotus pond, chagrined as she murmured, 【I have an urgent family matter to attend to. I’m going off now.】 She hastily went offline.

Ji Xiaoli was perplexed: 【Why did she go offline?】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp：She said she had an urgent family matter to attend to.】

Ji Xiaoli suddenly felt enlightened: 【Disciple, did she go offline because she lost face after suffering such a crushing defeat? Crushing Mist is really… Forget her, even I have been beaten into a bloody pulp by you. I mentioned earlier that you were very powerful and unlike the average girl, but that fell on deaf ears.】

The heartfelt compliments made YueJian ChunHe pause as his hand hovered on top of the “Enter” button. His eyebrows twitched upward. He omitted his next line, gave it some thought, and sent the message. 

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: I noticed that there’s something you mentioned earlier.】

【Teacher Orders a Salute: What? 】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: Girl? 】

【Teacher Orders a Salute: Mn? 】

【Milk Tea Small Crisp: Shifu, I’m a guy ^_^ 】

Ji Xiaoli was gobsmacked.

He haphazardly tossed his phone off his bed. Ji Xiaoli’s mind was running a million miles per hour, perplexed by the revelation. Only a minute had passed in reality. By the time he climbed out of his comfortable bed to retrieve his device, he surprisingly did not dare to re-enter the game. 

“Fuck! Why do I end up with a trap* every time I find a disciple!!!”

*The term “trap” 人妖 comes from the anime trope, where a character dresses up in drag to trick people into thinking that they’re the opposite gender.

T/N: I wanted to elaborate on the African and European slang from the first two paragraphs of this chapter.

The internet slang came to be because of a coincidence and doesn’t have much to do with real Africans or Europeans. Chinese people don’t actually view Africans as bad luck.

At least as early as 2006, most likely even earlier, among the players of the wildly popular MMORPG World of Warcraft, there was a slang for those that constantly have bad luck getting what they want in the game’s random loot system. Back then, it was simply “black hand”（黑手). The origin of that slang is unknown.

The slang later evolved into many variations, such as 脸黑 “blackened face”, 洗脸 “wash one’s face” which means to rid oneself of bad luck, 黑 “black”, and naturally 黑人 “black person” to mean someone who constantly has bad luck. And since 黑人 is the Chinese word for black people, people started using “Africans” (非洲人) to refer to anyone who receives bad pulls in any game’s random number generator(RNG). On the opposite end, people started using “Europeans” (欧洲人) to refer to those who get good random results. This connection has since spread from World of Warcraft to the whole Chinese online gaming community.

Finally, I want to add that the use of African and European to mean bad and good luck is strictly limited to the online gaming community, and is only used to mean good and bad results from a game’s random number generator. People will give you strange looks if you use it anywhere outside of this realm.

Thank you for reading this far! I hope you look forward to further chapters.