Difficult To Control

Xu Qi turned the volume of the car radio to the lowest level, and after it stopped, there were a few clusters of current sounds and an annoying rustling from the aged parts.

 

Xu Qi turned down the volume, the noise went down and he finally stabilized the camera in his hand.

 

At two o’clock in the afternoon, when the sun was at its strongest, Xu Qi’s lens was aimed at Liang Yue who came out of the dental clinic and the instant the shutter was pressed, the exposure around her was bright.

 

Two minutes passed, and a second figure came out of the clinic. Xu Qi did not know whether to be happy or disappointed.

 

Liang Yue moved the white Audi that was parked on the side of the road, the headlights flashed twice before the car drove away.

 

 

After the car left, Xu Qi retracted his eyes and his gaze fell on the photo he had just taken. Candid shots can be easily blurred, but this will not easily happen to him. This repeated operation has made his finger muscles remember when to press the shutter to take the perfect photo.

 

Xu Qi turned the knob on the top and several photos that were taken on different dates were recorded on the back. Xu Qi turned to one of the pictures, and Xu Qi stopped. The difference between it and the photo was that there was a familiar man beside Liang Yue in the photo.

 

He was tall, straight and thin and his back was also separated from the pedestrians hurriedly passing on the street into two completely different worlds temperaments.

 

familiar but also unfamiliar.

 

Xu Qi stared at the only thing that blurred out the double image, and the knuckles of his fingers on the knob turned white with force. He turned off the camera, bent down and put it back in the passenger seat cloth bag.

He put his hand on the door handle and took a deep breath.

 

“I have tooth decay. It’s been hurting since last night. Can I see a doctor? ”

 

The lady at the front desk was already familiar with this set of procedures and smiled at the man in front of her,

“Of course you can. Do you have an appointment? If not, I’ll make an appointment for you now.”

 

Seeing that the other party had moved the mouse and was about to click, Xu Qi was a little flustered and hurriedly interrupted:

“No, not now. Is Dr. Liao there? ”

“Doctor Liao doesn’t come to work today.”

The lady at the front desk was slightly surprised when she heard the name suddenly mentioned by the other party and looked at the man in front of her again.

He was thinner than an average man, and his white-washed shirt was wrinkled and draped over his body. He had a face that could be easily forgotten, and his pale skin made it seem like he had a long-term illness, which made people worry that he would fall down if he spoke. The only fairly high nose bridge she put on was a pair of black-rimmed glasses, covering her eyes.

 

This old-fashioned style was popular ten years ago, but now it is as outdated as this man. Such an inconspicuous person, even if he had been linked to Dr. Liao he would not leave any impression on her. The lady at the front desk said apologetically,

“I’m sorry, come back another day.”

Xu Qi did not express disappointment with this result, he had expected it. He nodded, raised his finger to the table, and asked in a more cautious tone,

“Can I get a business card?”

“You can take it.”

 

Xu Qi thanked her and took out a dental and contact information from the plastic box containing a dozen business cards, stuffed it into his trouser pocket, he turned and disappeared into the traffic, as if he had never appeared before.

“My parents told us to go home for dinner on weekend nights. ”

Xu Qi didn’t bow his head immediately after saying this, he was waiting for the reaction of Liang Yue, who was sitting opposite.

The food on the table was about to get cold and Liang Yue was still dealing with a phone call from work. She yelled at the other end a few times,

“There is a problem with the plan. Can’t you understand people’s language?”

Xu Qi usually doesn’t take the initiative to speak at this time and Liang Yue who is still angry, is likely to take her anger on him. If he could, Xu Qi would definitely choose to say this sentence before the call.

“Why did you go again?” Sure enough, as soon as Liang Yue put down her phone, her tone was heavier than normal.

“We went

their last week and there is nothing else to say other than the normal repeated words. Reject it. Just say I’m not free. ”

Rejecting a family meeting was the same as rejecting a job for her. Xu Qi took a mouthful of rice with the dish, he chewed it slowly and swallowed it slowly.

“That was a month ago.”

The bland correction made the surging air on the dining table stagnate for a while. Liang Yue loosened her frowning eyebrows and extracted excess emotions from the unpleasantness caused by the work problem just now. She picked up the bowl and chopsticks and ate a few mouthfuls of the cold dishes as if nothing had happened.

“I have time on Sunday night,”

 

Xu Qi said, “Okay.”

 

After he washed the dishes he came out of the kitchen, Liang Yue had already returned to her bedroom. With the lights off, the living room was lonely and gray, it was asif it had never been used by anyone.

Xu Qi closed the bedroom door. The fifteen square meters of space was the only place he could breathe in this house. He and Liang Yue have been sleeping in separate rooms for four years, and it has been this way since the second year of marriage.

In their second year of marriage, Liang Yue’s work intensity makes her easily irritable. Drawing requires her to keep a clear mind and stay in a clean space. Xu Qi, who didn’t know anything about this became a distraction.

During decision-making, he didn’t have the power to say a word of ‘no, and was assigned to this room that was originally used for storage.

Sometimes, Xu Qi would think about what this marriage brought them both. It was the same thing, a life-saving charm that made their parents stop urging.

 

Xu Qi is self-aware, and from the very beginning. Before getting married, Liang Yue had many suitors, graduated from a famous school and a standout. The oath at the wedding was the most outrageous thing he and Liang Yue had said.

After five years of marriage, the passion faded.

Liang Yue cheated. When Xu Qi knew that the first thing he felt was neither anger nor sadness, but finally found a reasonable explanation for Liang Yue’s abnormality. Then there is the question that all betrayed people will think of: who is the third party who has intervened between them?

Xu Qi parked his car diagonally opposite the dental clinic. Under the sun, there were many fancy stickers on the glass wall. The cartoon image of teeth taught the children how to brush their teeth correctly.

A mother who brought her child to come to see the dentist comforted the crying boy at the door, but she couldn’t coax him well, so she had no choice but to bend over, Pick him up and push open the door of the clinic.

The outside world was noisy, but Xu Qi’s world was as quiet as ever. He gripped the steering wheel, his eyes locked on a white figure in the clinic through the car window.

Liao Jinxue was Good looking and Xu Qi has known this since high school. During his sophomore year of high school most of the people in his grade ran out to look at him. What they liked most was Liao Jinxue’s eyes. His eyelashes were thick and the eye sockets under the eyebrows were deeply sunk. When he raised his eyes, his eyelids were long and evenly curved, his brown pupils carried an indifferent look as if warning people to stay away. Each and every facial feature was connected just right, and they were more delicate and gentle than ordinary handsome men.

He hadn’t seen him for ten years, but Xu Qi could still recognize him like the back of his hand.

 

Although Liao Jinxue was outstanding in high school, he couldn’t get rid of his poverty, but now he was wearing a white coat and had become the respected Doctor Liao. He had progressed calmly and steadily and improved his life and became dazzling.

The camera is aimed at Liao Jinxue, who had come to receive the mother and son. He bent down and said something to the boy, who was sobbing in his mother’s arms. The boy raised his face and slowly wiped away the tears. His mother showed a relieved smile, thanking Liao Jinxue. It was obviously an extremely beautiful scene. Xu Qi, who was hiding in the dark felt rescentment. He couldn’t even tell how many times he had pressed the shutter button.

August 4th, the weather was fine.

On Saturday, Liao Jinxue, saw the boy’s teeth, and took him upstairs, which may be his office. He came down after half an hour and had a two-minute chat with another dentist.

 

Xu Qi put the pen cap on, put the diary he carried with him into the glove box and closed it hard.

 

“Yue Yue, eat more meat. I know that you want to eat the chicken that your mom has stewed for you. You usually work hard to make up for it,”

 

As soon as Chen Fang finished the dishes, she babbled and put a piece of meat into Liang Yue’s bowl. Seeing that Liang Yue was already frowning, Xu Qi did not remain silent any longer. He intercepted the chopsticks holding the chicken that Chen Fang was about to put in,

“Mom, Yueyue can’t eat it any more,”

 

“If she can’t eat and she will say, ‘Why are you doing in such a hurry to refuse? How can a piece of meat fill her? ”

Chen Fang had a different degree of stubbornness and Xu Qi’s word sounded harsh in her ears.

“Yue Yue is so thin, I blame you for not taking good care of her,” Xu Qi said, putting her chopsticks down.

It was already part of Xu Qi’s habit to bear Chen Fang’s unreasonable accusations. No matter who was right and who was wrong, in Chen Fang’s case, her son must be the first person to be scolded.

 

Xu Qi couldn’t remember the last time they quarreled. Those unpleasant memories were always blurred, and he squeezed his chopsticks tightly without saying a word.

 

His silence made Chen Fang’s yelling become a one-man show and this silence was one of the reasons she continued yelling.

“I know you don’t want to come home for dinner, because you are afraid that I will nag about this and that, and it will always be annoying to hear it. Mom is old now and she doesn’t want to worry about too, but you two are old enough and you don’t even have a child. How can you tell me to rest? How can you tell me to rest assured? I met your aunt Wang some time ago and she asked me several times if there was but I was embarrassed to answer. You can only have hope after the relationship between the husband and wife is good, and I don’t understand how such a simple truth can be.”

 

All topics revolve around the last sentence.

 

Xu Qi glanced down and replied numbly with the excuse that he had said many times: “Mom, we have discussed it, and we won’t have children in the short term.”

 

“Short-term, how long is the short-term? Every time I ask you, you fool me like this. Your dad and I just want a solution. ”

 

Liang Yue put down the bowl, loudly, and gave the number succinctly: “When am thirty-five years old.”

 

Chen Fang’s face was not good, and her chapped lips moved. Xu Qi knew what her expression meant but in front of Liang Yue, she squeezed out a smile and said,

“Yue Yue, we don’t want to urge you, but it’s for your own good in the end. Xu Qi is a man, he will still be young and energetic at the age of thirty, but a woman will be troubled if she wants a child after her thirties. Like aunt Wang only after she thought about giving birth that she felt her health was not good. They could only get a test tube baby and they still couldn’t look up after two or three years. Her mother always frowned when she saw me and was scared and didn’t want you to do the same.”

 

It’s not the first time Xu Qi heard the example of Aunt Wang giving birth to the daughter of the Li family in a test tube. Some of the examples were obviously not so serious but it seemed like a big thing when it came out of Chen Fang’s mouth. Chen Fang wouldn’t show impatience on her face, it would have been imminent in another in-law’s house, but Chen Fang did not dare. She knew that the financial power of the family was in the hands of Liang Yue, who had the right to speak and her incompetent son was useless.

 

As usual, this dinner ended with Xu Shan’s silence and Chen Fang and Liang Yue’s unhappiness. Xu Qi felt that Xu Shan might be tired of watching such performances and sometimes Chen Fang would stop one or two if he talked too much. But before leaving, Xu Shan would still pat Xu Qi on the back, his movements were unfamiliar it was as if they were not a father and son who should be close.

“It’s time to have a child.”

He usually only said this sentence, showing that he had the same attitude as Chen Fang. Xu Qi hummed, picked up the garbage bag and followed Liang Yue downstairs.

 

The atmosphere between him and Liang Yue would become colder every time they went to his home to eat. She walked in front, probably in order to drive out her anger, saying that she was going go for a walk, and she would walk away without asking Xu Qi if he wanted to.

 

Dusk shrouded the community, surrounded by couples and elderly people who were walking to digesting food. Xu Qi listened to the noise of children fighting for toys. It was hard to imagine that he would have such a small and annoying time bomb by his side. On this point, he agrees with Liang Yue. But now, knowing Liang Yue’s derailment, Xu Qi doesn’t know what the future will look like.

 

Will Liang Yue divorce him? At that time, how will he give Chen Fang an explanation? And how will Chen Fang talk about this to their relatives and friends? When Xu Qi just thinks of these trivial things, an uncontrollable headache spreads. The only way to deal with it is to pretend not to know and try to understand Liang Yue and the other party and then let them, make progress, and then make a decision. Every time he thinks of this, Xu Qi feels that he is being ridiculously cowardly.

Liang Yue didn’t know where to go, but the number of pedestrians around her gradually became sparse, and the hot wind was mixed with a hint of coolness, which came from a reservoir not far away, Xu Qi’s legs were so heavy that he couldn’t move, and the wind blowing by his ears brought with it a twisted and sharp noise.

There was still a little light in the sky. There were many young people swimming in the reservoir. Xu Qi found it difficult to breath and forced himself not to look there. He moved slowly towards Liang Yue’s back, his trembling hands desperately trying to grasp something to resist this menacing fear.

He casually reached into his pocket and squeezed the thin business card in it.

“Why are you walking so slowly?”

 

Liang Yue turned back and saw that Xu Qi’s already pale face even more pale it looked like he could fall down at any moment. She looked at the reservoir and heard the laughter of young people swimming in the water.

 

Liang Yue sighed, he didn’t know whether it was out of helplessness or irritability or a little bit of concern. She grabbed Xu Qi’s arm and said,

“Don’t go there, I almost forgot that you are afraid of water. ”

Xu Qi’s breathing became lighter, he observed Liang Yue’s expression,

“Don’t you want to take a walk?”

 

“Let’s take a break, didn’t you notice we’ve been walking for half an hour?”

 

Liang Yue left this sentence and pressed the car key to open the car and sat in the driver’s seat. When they went out, Liang Yue always drove. She had said more than once that Xu Qi needed to quickly replace the Honda that cost less than 100,000 yuan. It looked poor and it wasn’t pleasant in her eyes.

 

Xu Qi slowly walked to the co-pilot’s sit. Something poked uncomfortably in his palm. It was a crumpled ‘Jin Shuo’ dental business card.

 

After staring at the string of numbers, Xu Qi pursed his dry lips, folded it up again before sitting down, and put it back in his trouser pocket.