Difficult To Control

 

“Hello, do you need anything?”

The lady at the front desk asked with a smile, she seemed to have forgotten about Xu Qi’s visit a week ago. In Xu Qi’s ordinary life, this can be regarded as a common occurrence.

“I made an appointment for teeth cleaning, is Dr. Liao here today?”

“Wait,” the lady at the front desk said as she checked the reservation information on the computer, “Is your surname Xu?”

Xu Qi said, “It’s me.”

“Doctor Liao is in room 5, take the elevator to the second floor and go right.”

It’s been two years, maybe three years, since his last filling. Xu Qi has always gone to public hospitals for his dental care. In his stereotyped perception, the fees of such dental clinics were often several times more expensive than those of public hospitals. If it wasn’t for Liao Jinxue, he would never have strayed close to the door of the clinic for even a second.

He had no pain in his teeth. Last time, it was just an excuse to get a business card. Fortunately, private clinics now have a teeth cleaning service. Xu Qi searched on the Internet and confirmed that they would not create a big fuss because of his teeth, so he called the number on the business card and made an appointment for teeth cleaning.

He got out of the elevator and turned right, probably because it was on the weekend. There were not many people coming to see the dentist.

Xu Qi once again confirmed the door number, 5. This number was linked to Liao Jinxue’s name and the similarity caused Xu Qi’s palms to sweat, as if they were poisoned and it made him dizzy. The door was opened without exerting force and he was caught off guard by the strange, unknown smell of the clinic, as if a thick layer of disinfectant had been poured on the surrounding walls.

“Sit down, are you here to clean your teeth?”

Liao Jinxue browsed the information coming from the front desk, his gaze moved from the computer to Xu Qi who was pestle in the doorway, the mask covered half of his face, and the pair of eyebrows exposed outside were cold and compelling, Xu Qi had thought about it many times,how to naturally look like an ordinary patient after coming in, but couldn’t remember anything the moment he saw Liao Jinxue.

His brain had judged on its own that after seeing Liao Jinxue, these things need to be blurred.Otherwise, it will not be able to withstand the overload.

Without getting a response, Liao Jinxue asked again: “Sir?”

Xu Qi concentrated, trying hard to recall the experience of seeing the dentist two or three years ago, he walked over and sat on the reclining chair, “Yes, teeth cleaning.”

Liao Jinxue stood up, the hem of the white lab coat hanging above his knees, bringing a sense of abstinence beyond rigour. He asked his assistant to push over the equipment needed for cleaning teeth, and he sat next to Xu Qi. Only at this time did Xu Qi notice Liao Jinxue’s assistant.

“Have you ever cleaned your teeth before?”

At this close distance, Liao Jinxue’s voice was more magnetic than when he was further away. So weird.

Xu Qi avoided his sight and turned to look at the ground. On the smooth floor tiles, there were two pairs of shoes. One pair was the leather shoes he had been wearing since he began work; the bottom rubber had been reinforced more than once due to cracking. There was also a pair of leather shoes on Liao Jinxue’s feet. The upper part of the leather shoes was polished, it looked like those on display in the windows of luxury stores.

 

 

Xu Qi felt even more jealous, he looked at the device being pushed, and spat out two words bluntly: “No.”

“Lie down.”

His body was pushed down and he looked up, the overhead lights were off. Liao Jinxue leaned over to adjust the height of the seat, bringing a scent different from disinfectant when he got closer.

Different from the perfume that Liang Yue often sprays, this is a cold fragrance that starts to cool a person from the bottom of your heart as long as they smell it.

Xu Qi hadn’t had time to smell it more when the height of the recliner had been adjusted. When Xu Qi realized what he had been doing, he was a little stiff, and his nails were pressed on his palms, hard. Liao Jinxue, who had already distanced himself, lowered his head and put on two rubber gloves, but he didn’t looked at him again.

“You may feel a little discomfort during the process, raise your hand and tell me if you feel uncomfortable.” Liao Jinxue pulled down the dental light which added a little warmth to his tone, it was as short as a sudden flash of light.

Before Xu Qi stepped into the clinic, he had thought more about how to behave naturally, relying on their weak classmate relationship in the past to get more information from Liao Jinxue. Teeth cleaning was a complete pretence.

At this moment, lying on the bench and listening to the sound of the device starting, all the extra thoughts have been forgotten, and Xu Qi only has a personal fear, which is attacking him fiercely.

When the light was turned on, he couldn’t open my eyes, and the buzzing sound of the instrument was transmitted to the senses through the sensitive nerves of the mouth, and it was as thin as being stabbed with a needle.

After adapting to the strong light, Xu Qi opened a vague gap. Liao Jinxue’s face was difficult to see, but he could feel his focus and indifference as always. He was treating the processes like he’d done it countless times.

His perfume was strong, Xu Qi still felt the cold, which had gradually extended from his inside to his limbs.

The teeth cleaning process was slower than expected. When he sat up, he moved too violently, and Xu Qi’s vision turned black for a second . Liao Jinxue took off his gloves and said to Xu Qi, who had not fully recovered, “There is a tooth in the lower right row that looks bad, if you’re not in a hurry, you can go and have an X-ray to see what the problem is.”

Xu Qi suspected that he had heard it wrong, he blinked his eyes slowly, and his vision gradually returned. This kind of situation was not in his plan. He propped his arms on the cushion below him and asked dryly, “Really?”

“You had the biggest reaction on that point when I washed that tooth and It’s darker than the other teeth. It’s best to get an x-ray, just in case.”

When a doctor says this, others would have done the X-ray obediently. Xu Qi didn’t want to behave too abnormally, so he had to give up resistance and followed Liao Jinxue’s assistant to the other end of the X-ray room.

Five minutes later, Xu Qi sat in front of the computer and looked at his X-rays, in a trance, he had the illusion that he was not really looking at his teeth.

“This tooth in the lower row on your right has been filled before, and now it is the fifth tooth the one infront of it that has decayed.” Liao Jinxue had already taken off his mask, and pointed out to Xu Qi the tooth that was obviously different from the other teeth with a ballpoint pen, “The risk of tooth decay around the repaired teeth is generally higher, plus the usual lack of attention, this one has been half decayed.”

The description was too graphic, Xu Qi’s face turned white, “Do you want to fill it?”

Liao Jinxue pondered for a moment, “Just clean up today, I will fill it next time.”

A few simple sentences decided the fate of this tooth. Xu Qi lay back on the chair again, his mind drifting from the perfume on Liao Jinxue’s body to the sky-high cost of filling his teeth.

Half an hour later, the anaesthesia on his right cheek still had not subsided, it was a strange feeling and Xu Qi words were slower than normal, “Is there anything to avoid?” ”

Liao Jinxue sat back in front of the computer to record the visit, without turning his head, and said, “Eat after the anaesthesia has subsided, there is nothing to avoid.”

“Okay.” After Xu Qi finished speaking, the consultation room was quiet, leaving the crisp sound of Liao Jinxue typing.

Each finger that crossed the keyboard was narrow and slender, and Xu Qi felt this way when he reached into his mouth and pressed the carious tooth. From the strands of hair to the soles of his feet, Liao Jinxue was full of impeccable perfection, no matter who stands by his side, even the most confident person will feel ashamed of himself.

Liang Yue gave up on him and chose Liao Jinxue, which is obviously an advantageous thing.

Familiar jealousy and unwillingness that had dissipated for many years after graduating from high school returned to Xu Qi’s heart, silently swelling and surging.

“Doctor Liao.”

“Is there anything else?”

Xu Qi squeezed the corners of his shirt and rubbed his fingers until he could no longer remain silent, and ripped open a hole in a low voice: “Do you remember me? We were high school classmates. You transferred to No. 13 Middle School in your second year of high school. I was in class 7 the class next to yours, do you still have any impressions?”

Liao Jinxue stopped tapping, and looked at Xu Qi quietly, trying to find a similar figure in his memory. A few seconds gradually stretched into a century on Xu Qi, until the sound of typing resounded, Liao Jinxue looked at the screen, and his tone did not change: “Xu Qi? I have an impression.”

A bit of an impression. For these four words, Xu Qi cleaned and grinded his teeth, and he would have to fill his teeth in two days.

Xu Qi reluctantly squeezed out a little smile, dispelling a little gloom in his eyes, and tried his best to keep his voice light: “You are a dentist now, it’s amazing, I remember your grades in high school were very good…”

“Well, payment is at the front desk.”

Liao Jinxue handed over a list and wrote on her face that she didn’t want to talk. Xu Qi, who was interrupted, couldn’t say a word.

In Liao Jinxue’s eyes, he may just be a strange person who he has not seen for many years who still has the banner of an old classmate, right? How could that negligible friendship make Liao Jinxue let down his guard and accept him calmly? He should have thought of it.

Xu Qi didn’t notice that the corners of the list were wrinkled by his pinching, Liao Jinxue glanced at the corners of his stiff mouth, and was silent for a while, as if he didn’t see anything he continued, “You have to go to work, the next time your teeth will be filled at the same time as today, Can you do make it at ten o’clock on Saturday morning?”

“yes.”

There was nothing left to talk about, and the next patient might be waiting at the door. Xu Qi stood up, walked toward the direction of the door, and after o two steps, “Can I add you on WeChat? If I have something else to do next Saturday, I can contact you to change the time. ”

 

 

After three sentences of high-sounding reasons, Liao Jinxue’s answer was official: “There is a QR code on the wall outside the door.”

Xu Qi tried very hard not to show the embarrassment on his face. After he scanned WeChat and went downstairs, the lady at the front desk looked at him a few more times. It seemed that he finally remembered and asked, “Did you come here last week? I felt like I’ve seen you before. How do you feel about your appointment today?”

“How much?”

Xu Qi was not in the mood for small talk, and when he didn’t make any expressions, his whole body showed a grey and cold depression, preventing anyone from getting close. The lady at the front desk gave up the idea of talking and printed out the receipts.

Before the lunch break, the atmosphere in the office building was already loose and relaxed. Xu Qi heard the two colleagues next door discussing going to eat the newly opened Japanese food two blocks away, and the female colleagues behind her chatted and burst into laughter. These noisy voices were isolated from the world by Xu Qi, filling out forms on the computer. Suddenly a dozen folders were thrown onto the table, blocking the mouse cursor.

“Brother Xu, these are also troublesome for you.”

Saying the word “trouble”, but without the slightest apology that others should have, Wu Dong leaned in front of Xu Qi’s workstation, and his young face showed a smile that was closer to what he should have.

“Do you want them all?”

“Yeah, Brother Wang said he would send it to his office before he got off work, but he’s going to have dinner later. I can’t finish it by myself. Brother Xu, please help me share the burden and go first.”

After speaking, without waiting for Xu Qi’s reply, Wu Dong had already ran to another female colleague’s workstation to tease and chat, and everything seemed to be a matter of course.

The pile of documents was placed in front of the table, Xu Qi sat quietly for half a minute, picked up the top book and turned to the first page. The surrounding noise did not stop because of this. In the eyes of other colleagues, this was just a scene that was repeated every day.

Brother Wang in Wu Dong’s mouth is the immediate boss of their group. Only Wu Dong can call him brother without any taboos. There is no reason for him. Brother Wang was indeed his brother. He married Wu Dong’s sister, and the two families had long since become one. Not long after Wu Dong graduated, he got a job through his sister’s relationship. A graduate with no work experience can get this job. It was due to his brother-in-laws operating in the dark.

The people in the office knew it, and their attitude toward him was not at all indifferent, like it was to other newcomers. Wu Dong regards work as communication. He can’t stay at his workstation for ten minutes, so he runs to chat with a female colleague. The work left behind can’t be finished. What should he do? That’s easy, leave it to the most bullied in the entire office to do it.

Xu Qi was the one he chose.

Wu Dong’s vision of people is much better than his ability to work. Knowing this, Xu Qi, who could not defy him openly, could only help him handle all the work one by one. When the lunch break came, colleagues left their workstations and went downstairs to eat, leaving Xu Qi to sit alone in front of the computer, staring at the screen for a long time, his sour eyes moving to the window. Two sparrows happened to pass in the sky.

He received a message with a ‘ding’ sound. Xu Qi lowered his stiff neck. The contact person noted as ‘Liao Jinxue’ on the screen made his heart skip a beat. His fingers slid apart and almost pressed the wrong direction. The next second felt like he was immersed in an ice bucket to quickly cool down, and he couldn’t make any more fluctuations.

Liao Jinxue: In the summer orthodontic season, a smile leads to youth, and the change of teeth begins in the summer…

After Xu Qi read the message, he laughed out loud. He didn’t know what he was laughing at. It might be the text message, or it might be himself. He clicked on the other party’s circle of friends, all of which are advertisements of Jinshuo Dental, Liao Jinxue had given him his work number, and it is difficult to say whether the person who sent the text message was him.

The document waiting to be completed felt one layer higher than before, making Xu Qi breathless. He changed Liao Jinxue’s name to Jinshuo Dental, and then raised his head, another lonely bird swept across the blue sky outside the window.

Do birds understand this fatigue? Xu Qi had this question. Not from his body, but from his spirit that was so tired that h could no longer raise any expectations.