Life Going Wild With Plug-ins

[Extra] 60 - Ye Lan x Ye Xiao - Get on the car1 !! Don’t say more! Go!! (I certainly can’t become a locked chapter.)


T/N: The first half of this chapter is normal. The second half is an intentionally censored scene using publishing a work on jjwxc as a stand-in for smut. It’s really funny but I feel like I had a stroke trying to translate this lol.

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Recently, Ye Lan had been less and less well-behaved when going to sleep, in addition, the frequency of this bad behaviour had also increased more and more.

Ye Xiao was very irritable when he didn’t get enough sleep, so every time Ye Lan stuck to him and rubbed against him and hugged him and woke him up, his mood was not too good.

Ye Xiao smacked Ye Lan far away with the palm of his hand: “If you don’t sleep what are you disturbing me for?”

Obviously when they were at the Nightrunner, the two of them often woke up and went to sleep together, but it was rarely like this. Ever since they started living comfortably with their new Master, Ye Lan had begun to make trouble frequently.

Ye Xiao thought it boiled down to having a belly full of food and a mind full of lust2 .


“It’s uncomfortable here, Gui Mao.” Ye Lan looked wilted and dejected, he rubbed against him and asked, “Have I been poisoned?”

“……” Pretending he didn’t know what he was feeling, Gui Mao took in a deep breath and suggested, “Go swim in the lake for a bit, or run ten laps around Yang Lake and come back.”

“Oh.” Ye Lan got up and put his clothes on, obediently listening to him and going out.

Half a sichen later, Ye Lan returned, dripping wet: “I swam for a bit, also ran ten laps, it was enough.”

Ye Xiao blushed with shame. “…..you really went for a swim….. uh, are you still feeling uncomfortable now?”

Ye Lan nodded sincerely: “I’m fine now, thank you.”

“…..No, don’t mention it, you’re welcome.” Ye Xiao had shame in his heart, so he reluctantly got up, “Hey, sit up, I’ll wipe you down, it’s winter after all.”

Grabbing him and pushing him onto a chair, Ye Xiao pulled out a cloth and wrapped it around his head, rubbing it determinedly. Ye Lan’s short hair had always been personally cut by him, the first few times he cut it it was a jagged, tragic sight, but now he has practised enough to nimbly make it very fitting.

Ye Lan was still as he was roughly wiped clean by him, he caught sight of Ye Xiao’s unclothed waist through a gap between his messy hair and the cloth, and he couldn’t help but reach out to embrace it.

Ye Xiao was originally standing in front of him, so when he was pulled into his embrace and stood between his legs, he immediately became aware of something pressing against him from in between his legs, and his heart thumped.

Ye Xiao still hadn’t figured out what to say to dodge when Ye Lan had already pushed him away and stood up, saying: “I’m uncomfortable again, I’ll go swim in the lake for a bit. Go to sleep first, don’t wait for me.”

Ye Lan didn’t wait for a reply and pushed the door open, going out and leaving Ye Xiao standing stiffly in place as the wintry cold air from the twelfth lunar month made its way inside the room from the crack in the door, making him shiver.


One month later, Ye Lan was increasingly more haggard.

Every night he went in and out repeatedly several times, never getting a good night’s sleep.


During dinner that day, the food in front of Ye Lan practically didn’t move, and he seemed depressed as he limply leaned on the table with his forehead pressed against the edge.

“Ye Lan has been very dispirited recently, is he sick?” Jun Xuanheng walked around to Ye Lan’s side and worryingly patted his back, “Are you uncomfortable anywhere?”

An alarm bell rang in Ye Xiao’s heart, and he feared Ye Lan would start talking about disgraceful adult topics to the Boss.

Fortunately, Ye Lan only said: “My mouth hurts a little.”

“Huh? Open your mouth, let me see.” Jun Xuanheng held Ye Lan’s chin between his fingers and looked, “It’s swollen, how did it get irritated3 ?”

Ye Lan, who didn’t understand the truth, shook his head.

“I’ll tell Qiqi to make light dishes these days, you shouldn’t eat any meat other than fish.” Jun Xuanheng saw he looked really pitiful and he rubbed Ye Lan’s head in passing, pulling out a handful of hair.

“…..Is Ye Lan shedding this change of season?…..”


Ye Xiao felt that, in the long run, this really wasn’t the way to go.

After thinking about it, he made up his mind and picked a good time when he felt the atmosphere was good to propose the marriage to his Master.

He and Ye Lan were Jun Xuanheng’s shadow guards, so no matter what they did, it should be approved by their Master. Shadow guards were not allowed to have relationships between each other, and he knew there was absolutely no precedent of this among their peers. Fortunately, his Master was the gentlest person in the whole world, so he was confident it would work, but still, he couldn’t help but feel nervous.


Ye Xiao trembled as he asked his Master if he could give Ye Lan to him, his Master said “Oh” with his mouth, and in his eyes were written the words: None of my business meow meow meow.

Ye Xiao contemplated it: …..Although it feels like there’s something wrong, doesn’t it seem like the perfect ending?


Ye Xiao carried these enormous good news and returned to look for Ye Lan.

Ye Lan had just been scolded by him, so he was timidly shrunk into the shadow of the bed curtain, thinking about where he went wrong. Ye Xiao sat next to him, he thought about how far the two of them had come and his thoughts rapidly flew, moving him deeply. He had thousands of words in his throat, but unexpectedly he didn’t know what to say.


“…..It’s over…… Ye Lan.” Ye Xiao thought for a long time, and quietly said this sentence.

Ye Lan looked at him blankly.

“Do you still remember that river? I’m sure you don’t remember. It’s already been ten years, at that time the Nightrunner was headed towards the desert, and we passed through that river. That day, I thought I wouldn’t make it to the meeting point in time to get the antidote, I thought I was going to die, so I just stopped by the side of that river. Across the river there was a small, ordinary village, I don’t know what festival it was that day but it seemed like they were holding a lantern carnival, there were lanterns in the river, and fireworks, it was beautiful…..” Ye Xiao leaned against his shoulders and, in an extremely rare move, took the initiative to hold his hand, closing his eyes and quietly saying: “That day I lay by the river and thought about how I really envied them, how I wished I could go to the other side of the river to take a look, how I wanted to live like a normal person for one day, and I thought that I would never be able to cross the distance of that river in my lifetime…..”

Ye Lan quietly looked at him, not interrupting, and with no indication of whether he understood or not.

“Ten years, we’ve finally crossed it.” Ye Xiao pushed Ye Lan until he was lying down, kneeling over his body, and sincerely kissed his pitch-black, focused eyes, “All the suffering….. it’s over….. everything is finished.”

Ye Lan was closely pressed down by Ye Xiao’s body, and he fell into a trance as though he had drunk strong alcohol, he thought something was wrong and it seemed like he was falling ill again, so he stammered as he pushed him away and tried to get up: “I, I, I don’t feel too good, I’ll go out to soak in cold water…..”

“Don’t move, listen to me.” Ye Xiao pushed Ye Lan’s shoulders and pressed him back down, “Ye Lan, I’ll ask you seriously once. Regardless of whether or not you understand what I mean, as long as you open your mouth I’ll take you seriously. Ye Lan, you….. are you certain you really like me? Is….. is it the kind of like that I understand?”

“Like.” Ye Lan nodded with all of his might, “I said it, I said it a really long time ago.”

Ye Xiao was astounded: “…..You, you still remember.”

“I’ve always remembered. I’ve been very serious every time….. Gui Mao…..” Ye Lan’s words faltered as he spoke, and he suddenly pushed him away and turned them over, “Hey, not good, I really need to go out for a run.”

Ye Xiao grabbed him by the collar and pulled him back down onto the bed: “There’s no need to go for a run and no need to swim in cold water, there’s no need for any of that in the future.”

Ye Lan: “Ah? But it’s swollen and uncomfortable here.”

Ye Lan involuntarily grabbed Ye Xiao’s hand and pushed it against that uncomfortable, stiff thing between his legs, and Ye Xiao suddenly felt his face become hot.

“Before, we were Master’s people and couldn’t decide to do this kind of thing without permission. But now….. we can.” Ye Xiao took in a deep breath, “…..I, I’ll teach you.”

Having said that, Ye Xiao stiffly maintained his position of lightly pushing the other, not daring to act blindly for a while.

“You have a fever.” Ye Lan pressed himself to his face and rubbed against it, “It’s burning.”

“It’s not a fever.” Ye Xiao said despondently, “…..sigh, you idiot, you’re actually relaxed. Bullshit….. I’m the only one that’s embarrassed, makes me angry…..”

Ye Xiao naturally had no experience when it came to matters of love, but at least he had a normal range of common knowledge.

He grabbed Ye Lan and moved him from the edge of the bed to the centre, then half knelt next to Ye Lan and untied the belt around his waist and the hidden weapon belts tied around his legs, then took off his clothes and trousers one by one.

Ye Xiao pulled down Ye Lan’s waistband, took a quick glance and looked away, taking a moment to calm down and, after thinking about it, pulled his trousers back up to cover him again.

He thought: Facing this scene is still too exciting, take it easy, take it easy.

Ye Lan looked down at himself and was surprised: “Wow, it’s become so big, my——”

Ye Xiao hurriedly pinched his mouth: “I know what you want to say, ancestor, shut up, okay?”

Ye Lan was pinched so tightly he couldn’t make a sound, so he could only whine and nod his head.


“If you have writer’s block and can’t update, just tell me, do you hear me?” Ye Xiao pressed Ye Lan down, lightly sliding down to the special column of his web page, sliding the mouse pointer over the title bar and the strong and supple manuscript deposit box, “If you do the daily update also tell me.”

Ye Lan grunted in response, allowing Ye Xiao to lick a circle around his chest, and, finding it difficult to endure, said: “My chapter is about to get locked….. Can you….. let me go out and run a lap…..”

“That’s right.” Ye Xiao proudly said in his heart: I may be able to deceive the reviewing technology.

Ye Xiao guessed it was almost time to move on to the next step, so he bookmarked the collection on Ye Lan’s special column interface, lightly commenting and reposting it.

Ye Lan looked at the special column with dazed eyes, looking down at the post preview. His voice was extremely small, and he found himself even more at risk of having his chapter locked. Ye Xiao extended his index and middle fingers, pressing them against the side of Ye Lan’s lips, and encouraged him: “Bookmark, repost….. en…..”

Ye Lan didn’t understand why, but he still did as he was told, moving the mouse pointer towards the top of the main text and dragging it down to the bottom, saving the entire page as an html file.

“Like this? Did I do it right?” Ye Lan asked unclearly while he reposted, and the nutrient solution4 points at the side of the article continued to increase with Ye Lan’s clicks +1, +1, +1.

The special column page was soft and warm, and Ye Lan’s expression was docile and sincere, Ye Xiao couldn’t help but lose control a little, wishing he could skip signing the agreement and going straight to publishing, but had no choice but to repeatedly warn himself: Calm down, calm down, after all, this is the extremely important first time on the list, I certainly can’t let Ye Lan be left with a bad impression.

Ye Xiao cancelled the bookmark, clicked like on the side of his article details, used a bottle of nutrient solution given to new readers, and consoled him: “En, so obedient, really good.”

Ye Xiao separated from his article details, went into the bottom part of the main text and pressed on the author’s comments, thanking little angel [enna] for the nutrient solution, and gently pressed the article details. Ye Xiao had always been impatient, so it was hard to restrain his temper to accomplish this part, but thought sending it straight to review would be almost like smashing the pot just because it was cracked5 , and in case he succeeded, no….. he shouldn’t say it again. He pulled away the advertisement pop-up that was in the way, and gasped as he opened Ye Lan’s author back-end.

“Do you want to send it for review?” Ye Lan asked dumbly.

Ye Xiao nodded: “Yes, if you think there won’t be enough words——”

“Okay, I understand, I’ll try.” Ye Lan cut off the latter half of his sentence.


Try? Try what? Ye Xiao was just thinking about this when Ye Lan gripped his mouse, the position of the two’s special columns having already swapped places, and didn’t have time to react. Ye Xiao only saw black before his eyes as his own article was sent in for review.

Ye Xiao: “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck aaaaaaaaaaahhhh———!!!!”

Ye Lan suddenly leaned against him and sent him in for review using brute force.

Ye Xiao was completely unprepared, and he still hadn’t updated the new blank post, and the data became extremely muddled and torn as a hundred thousand curses rolled through his mind, but the forum was so cold there wasn’t a single reader comment. Ye Lan had always had very strong endurance towards data, he didn’t know if it had anything to do with his lack of reflex intelligence, but at that moment he didn’t feel any different at all.

This shrill, blood-curdling scream pierced through the horizon, and the Master of the Garden leapt towards the doorway when he heard it. Ye Xiao was so distressed he could only twitch, but he still had to take a lot of trouble and desperately try to stop Jun Xuanheng.

He was barely able to pick himself up and call out a few words to send the Master away, physically and emotionally exhausted, which increased the pain and only added fuel to the fire.


“What’s wrong?” Ye Lan asked, softly and sweetly.

Ye Xiao was so angry his consciousness was fuzzy, and he hatefully stammered: “You….. fuck….. what the….. hell…..”

“Didn’t you say you would teach me?” Ye Lan asked blankly, “You just said to send it in for review, so I sent it.”

Ye Xiao: “…..You….. fuck…..”

Ye Lan’s eyes opened up into a smile as he looked at him: “Yes yes?”

Ye Xiao was angered into knots, forget it, don’t scold him, he won’t understand anyway, it would be better to save up his strength to beat him.

Ye Xiao didn’t speak, and Ye Lan quietly waited for a while, puzzled, as he said: “Gui Mao? Gui Mao?” And unconsciously refreshed the page.

Ye Xiao’s computer was already stuck, and this attempt at refreshing immediately crashed it, so Ye Xiao involuntarily cried out in pain. Ye Lan saw that he reacted, and forcefully refreshed the page again.

Ye Xiao thought he was screaming into the miserable wind and bitter rain due to the brutality, but the end of this weak sound fell into Ye Lan’s ears, and it seemed as though he could immediately pass the review.

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1 Internet slang, they're getting on the car because they're going for a long, bumpy ride~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Top.

2 From 饱暖思淫欲 lit. eat till full be warm think about lust. Like the saying ‘When the belly is full, the mind is among the maids’, meaning that when one is not thinking about things like food or shelter, they can start to indulge in other desires. Top.

3 Actual word is 上火 which refers to a traditional Chinese medicine term known as en excess of ‘internal heat’ which can cause all sorts of symptoms including congestion, sore throat, swelling, discomfort, etc. Top.

4 On jjwxc, ‘nutrient solution’ is the name of a points system you can award to works you like. By giving works ‘nutrient solution’, fans can ‘fertilise’ their favourite works so they can grow and become more popular, and the more fans ‘cultivate’ the works they like the better they do. Top.

5 A saying that means writing something off as being hopeless and acting recklessly. Top.